Welcome to Jurassic Park

You can claim financial compensation now. (For legal reasons, I am not actually Jurassic Park. I am the t rex)

[official-jurassic-park]

Welcome to Jurassic Park

A Great Day Out for all the Family!

Ready to step back 65 million years?

Get up close and personal with the dilophosauruses, marvel at the wonder of genetic engineering, or why not dine in our Park Café and Restaurant.

Here at Jurassic Park, there's so much on offer. Get ready for a roaring adventure!

"So much fun! We didn't get to see many dinosaurs, and I lost my right leg, but the kids loved it!" - Greg, 51

Notice: Due to technical problems, the park is shut until further notice. We hope to open it again soon.

In the meantime, if you or a loved one have been injured/killed/mauled/eaten by the spinosaurus/affected in any way, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Thank you.

[official-jurassic-park]

I’m planning a visit, what disability accommodations are available? Do you have quiet sensory rooms?

We have strived to make our park as accomodating and widely accessible as possible, so that everyone can enjoy life 65 million years ago. We have plenty of wheelchair ramps, lifts, accessible bathrooms, audio-described tours, subtitled displays, employees with sign language, alternative queues, access for service animals, quiet rooms, etc.

Although please be aware that the quiet sensory rooms may or may not include quiet sensory dinosaurs. Enter at your own risk.

[official-jurassic-park]

Who let a t rex on tumblr?

Unfortunately, the T-Rex is unable to read or write, but that doesn't mean she isn't still incredibly smart! The Velociraptors on the other hand.... It was a mistake to give them Twitter....

[official-jurassic-park]

Are the dinosaurs fully aware they exist?

are any of us really like come on now who are we in this ever expanding univer- yes they are

[official-jurassic-park]

How come the raptors got a whole bull but the Rex got a goat? Shouldn't it be the other way around? No wonder she keeps eating the workers! Poor girl is hungry

*checks food supplies* *checks food supplies again* Ah.

[official-jurassic-park]

Have you tried feeding the dinos a few dino nuggies?

Their reaction?

This is an excellent suggestion! We chose some of our best behaved dinosaur of the week to receive some treats.

Dilophosaurus: Ate all three and was on her best behaviour!

Allosaurus: Sniffed them, but decided she preferred goat instead. A wise choice.

Velociraptors: Didn't give them any, because they recently ate my colleague's arm, and are in time out.

T-Rex: "Eating these so-called 'dino nuggies' inspires in me a deep and profound sense of history, belonging and succession in a turmoil-filled world, where an action can send ripples through time by cause and effect, leading the hands of evolution to hone species adapted to their ecological niche in a complex web of interconnected environmental relationships, shaped further by the manipulation of meat and matter into something so different, yet resembling something that once was."

Just kidding, she said rawrr, then ate Pete.

[official-jurassic-park]

Does the stegosaurus have a pinterest account?

She doesn't have a Pinterest account, but she does have a creeper Twitter account. She likes to troll American politicians.

[official-jurassic-park]

Are you guys keeping The Meg in that park? 👀

Sometimes I wonder if the name of our park is being somewhat glossed over.

[official-jurassic-park]

Do the dinosaurs have movie nights?

If so, i have a franchise or two in mind i think they'd really enjoy.

The dinosaurs mainly get their entertainment from hunting and hanging out, but we're always looking for new methods of enrichment within their enclosures but not out please god

[official-jurassic-park]

Give the Spinosaurus more treats!

On it boss!

[mamakitty187]

New headcanon I'm gonna choose to believe because why not - Joe Mazzello runs @official-jurassic-park . Thank you.

[official-jurassic-park]

fuck

[official-jurassic-park]

Hello! I am curious whether there are particular human languages the dinosaurs appear to understand the best? I have written some yuri fanfiction regarding the t-rex and the spinosaurus and would like to share it with them.

It appears that the dinosaurs react best to Spanish (Mexican Spanish), Welsh, French from Quebec and Proto-Indo-European. We don't know why.

[official-jurassic-park]

I think there’s something wrong with your T-Rex’s form my experiences they almost never attack humans.

What experiences? What experiences anon?? Where are you getting a t rex anon??

[official-jurassic-park]

would you rather be trapped in an enclosure with 1 spinosaurus or 15 Procompsognathuses? Asking for a friend

I like spinosauruses.🖐️

But my bosses say Jurassic Park takes every measure to minimise the risk of workers getting trapped in enclosures.

[shadythetortie]

Okay, don't get me wrong here. I LOVE Jurassic Park. I love seeing their dinosaurs. But after watching Prehistoric Planet, and going back to look at this...

And then looking at this...

Notice how much healthier the second set looks? Their lips cover their teeth, they actually have fat on their bodies, their skin doesn't wrinkle like they're dehydrated. You can't see every single tendon and muscle move because you aren't supposed to. Dinosaurs are animals, not reptilian body-builders.

THIS is the kind of change I want to see in how we create realistic depictions of not only dinosaurs, but all prehistoric creatures. Paleoart has always had a huge issue with shrink-wrapping and making these animals look terrifying instead of making them look like, well, animals.

Well done, BBC.

[shadythetortie]

STOP BACKYARD BREEDING YOUR DINOSAURS

Get your Tyrannosaurs from responsible, DKC registered breeders! Anyone who says your rex should be skinny or 'thats just how they are' is lying to you.

[official-jurassic-park]

☝️to be fair, we are a theme park. and may be stupid

[flight-freedom]

I have a feeling you're mistreating your animals.

[official-jurassic-park]

Blocked and Reported.

[official-jurassic-park]

What's your favorite dinosaur in the park?

The Diplodocus and the Parasaurolophus, but I'm still trying to convince my bosses to make an Argentinosaurus. For me.

[official-jurassic-park]

Which dino is best to feed someone I don't like?

everyone forgets about our spinosaurus. like okay, maybe she isn't as big as rexy, or as flashy as the velociraptors, but she still deserves a treat every now and then.