he feels the shift the second she pulls back, even though she is not fully out of his grasp. his hands remain at her waist, though the grip softens, thumbs brushing lightly against her sides like he's debating whether he still has the right to touch her at all. a quiet exhale leaves him as his gaze drops briefly to the space between them. " I know what I said, " voice lower now, stripped of most of the teasing that usually comes so easily between them, " and I meant it, bronte. " his jaw tightening slightly, frustration flickering there ... though not at her, but at the situation, at himself, " that's what's making this so messed up ... I just didn't wanna start pretendin' with you. " he lets out a humorless laugh under his breath, head shaking once. " I didn't plan for bella to become … important to me, " like even saying it aloud feels dangerous, " it wasn't supposed to turn into something like this. " hues searching her own, trying to read how much damage he's already done. " and yes being here with you does feels right, " voice low, confirming his words were true, " but, also I didn't want you to feel like I was like either ... I wanted to be upfront about this ... us. " a pause following, " but that's the part I haven't been able to figure out. " his jaw clenches, before his hands finally fall from her waist completely. he wanted to give her the space she had started asking for without saying outright. " I'm not trying to play games with you, " hues remaining steady on her now, " I just didn't want to pretend there wasn't something happening between bella and I, and be lying to you at the same time. "