Ohhh so much

On my way to recovery

[oh-somuch-blog]

For my soul warmers, those who touch the very essence of me. The ones who remind me aliens are humans too. The whispers of the turmoil, the fire flies in the shadow of darkness. You are the “I pressed on” in “depression”. Love is you, the yin to my yang

[dailydoseofsun]

i am reminded of cupid's arrow and how it had hit me from behind when i had least expected it. ever since then, i’ve always had eyes attached to the back of my head.

waiting. pretending not to wait. wanting. pretending not to want.

my heel is always ready to turn around.

[dailydoseofsun]

to be loved, to be saved

you know love as the crackling warmth of a fireplace sizzle. steady, welcoming, persistent regardless of notice. it exists as a subtle exchange of glances between lovers that never required your second guesses.

i know love as the pain in my lungs when i emerge from the waters. i'd drown again just to feel the fresh air seep through my throat. my feet kicked relentlessly against the currents in hopes of reaching the surface again

but when your hand extends it radiates a warmth that contrasts to the chilling ripples of the piercing waves. i wanted to hold on but the droplets smoothened out my grip and your hand slipped.

[oh-somuch-blog]

I’m hoping that I am your emergency contact whenever the world takes its punches

I am hoping I’m your peace on those days you can’t find it within yourself

I’m hoping you know that I will be silent with you when you have no words to express yourself

[oh-somuch-blog]

July continue to keep me in your warmth and peace left by your predecessor. Let me be intentional with my thoughts and energy for the reminder of the year. Open my heart to new adventures.

[oh-somuch-blog]

August usher in a new season of gratitude as I stand tall everyday. Remind me every moment is the rest of my life. Continue to plant grace and courage in all parts of my life.

[oh-somuch-blog]

For the first time, I can see the future, and it's beautiful when I look at you.

Every detour has been worth it because I'm in your arms, and the world is complete.

The warmth and gentleness of your love have been a blessing.

Your presence has healed some parts of me that I didn't even know were broken.

You carry me like I am a feather, and I appreciate it so much.

You being by my side has allowed me to face all versions of me with all the kindness I have found in you.

I want to bottle every moment of happiness you have awakened in a wilting garden that has been my existence.

Thanking you for serving as a reminder that the stars align and I have to live in it.

[oh-somuch-blog]

June wrap in autumn warmth like a tree shedding the leaves it no longer serve its next season, clothe me with compassion for myself as a navigate through the treachery of winter. Magnify all that’s beautiful in me and fuel my spirit with possibilities with every winter night that passes

.

[final-cyphers]

To Answer Your Question,

If you're going to be extraordinary

Expect ordinary people

To see you as extra

Stop trying to wear shoes

That don't fit

The only way out

Is through

You don't win at parenting

You just survive it

When confronted with the dilemma of

Time vs Money, choose Sleep

You can recover from mishaps

But not exhaustion

The spotlight is a lie

It's only you spectating

Yourself

The sun will come out

Tomorrow but expect

Mosquitos and bird poop

What else can I help with?

[oh-somuch-blog]

[oh-somuch-blog]

New chapter

You are a kaleidoscope of the best parts of me, a beautiful memory of who I was and an illustration of who I will be.

You are the warrior in me who went to war on my behalf and protected my inner being.

You are the protector of my innocence, the one who ensured my inner child remains intact with glimmer and love for the world.

I am who I am today because, at every turn or stumbling block you echoed, “this too shall pass.” Keeping hope alive in our darkest moments.

As I embrace the next part of my journey, I hope you know I carry you with me.

I give you permission to rest with the gratitude of knowing we survived because of you.

Thank you for being the survivor. I hope you find peace. May you be clothed in the love and warmth you have given us.

This part of the journey requires embracing the parts of me you protected. I have to trust that we are ready to thrive. That you have woven parts of you in all of my essence.

[oh-somuch-blog]

For every moment in life so far, I could trace some big lessons or make sense of the situation. My stupid brain could always justify the actions in a sensible manner that my heart could learn to live with. I always had faith in the universe self-correcting and normalizing. This time, it is a cruel and twisted fate. It's a horror that even the devil himself couldn’t have plotted. Life is supposed to be sacred and cherished, so why is it so easy to lose? Why are there so many horrific ways to die? Why isn’t there a limitation on how far we can go in being tortured? How do you keep your faith in life when there’s so much carnage? What is it all for, and where do you find comfort when all of your foundations are blown into pieces? Our greatest strength has always been perseverance with the hope that it will always work out—the belief that joy comes in the morning and that after every storm there’s a rainbow. But what use is the rainbow when everything has been destroyed? When the light at the end of the tunnel is nothing but darkness, where do you go when every step feels like the abyss? Who do you ask when everyone is falling apart? How do you rebuild when you have no tools or strength? How do you look ahead when you have no footprints of your past and everything ahead has no shape? You can’t go back and choose a different path, and you can’t trust yourself anymore to stay on the current path. With everything you have experienced, you know you have to carry on. Exist in the meaninglessness of it all and try to outrun the darkness that will one day consume you. How lucky are we to still be alive, to not have a choice in our limited time on this planet? How lucky are we to live with the carnage and still be forced to carry on? How lucky can one be in this one lifetime voyage we are on!!!!

[bala5]

[oh-somuch-blog]

You

I want to unlive the part of you that lives in my soul.

I want to close the door that leads to the room that lights up the memories we made.

I want to unearth and burn the roots of your essence in my spirit.

I want to find the gaps where some parts of you still linger in my heart and seal them.

I want to forget your smell and replace it with the summer breeze.

I want to plant new seeds in the garden of what could and was when it comes to me and you.

I want to experience the curiosity of uncertainty and the joy of adventure.

I am ready for new chapters, fully aware that not all of them will be rosy.

I want to learn new lessons and to test my own strengths.

I want to the possibilities that come with change and new memories.

I want new seasons that come with life and beauty each one holds.

[oh-somuch-blog]

I want to exist in this moment in fullness.

I want to treasure this moment and be lost in all the feelings it comes with.

I want to remember this both consciously and unconsciously.

Let it echo in my heart when I forget what joy feels like or completeness looks like.

I want to remember what breathing feels like with nothing pulling you back.

Living with no fear of time passing by or the feeling disappearing like it was a dream.

[iambrillyant]

“effective communication requires clear open lines on both ends, no judgment when honesty is trying to find a safe landing spot, ears that welcome vulnerability with open arms, it requires becoming fluent in each others dialect regardless of how uncomfortable the truth may sound.”

— iambrillyant

[iambrillyant]

“the beauty in being heard without over explaining yourself, the clarity in being seen without overexposing yourself, the intimacy in being met exactly where you are, for who you currently are and who you are becoming.”

— iambrillyant