[ohdete]

alondra’s very private, very personal take on nina sayers of black swan [ 2010 ] . focused moreso on nina’s internal struggle with perfectionism, repressed sexuality, sadomasochism, and suffocating mother / daughter dynamics.

[ohdete]

Guys I kinda want to make a blog for um. Margo from Margo’s got money troubles ……

[ohdete]

Ok I’ve been reading more and trying to take things slower when it comes to writing descriptions n shit cause I usually want to speed to the good part But omg I missed writing

[aspotlight]

@ohdete ⠀ — ⠀ INT. ⠀ MARKOS SCHOOL OF DANCE.

she had hoped the rain would let up upon arrival. ⠀ but as the cab rode up, ⠀ the academy coming into focus, ⠀ she gave up on that. ⠀ the cab driver quickly pushed her and her luggage out and drove off, ⠀ leaving her in the pouring rain. ⠀ [really, ⠀ a great first impression to make.] ⠀ her hair billows in the wind, ⠀ blocking her vision as she walks up.

THE PRODUCTION WANTED TO SEND HER TO A BALLET ACADEMY ⠀ for a more ‘realistic depiction of dancing’ ⠀ or something. ⠀ mj was not particularly stoked. ⠀ she can dance, ⠀ she’d consider herself a great dancer. ⠀ but the rigidity and the confines of ballet don’t align with her performance style. ⠀ IT’S NOT A ROLE SHE REALLY WANTED. ⠀ but, ⠀ her agent and her manager said it would be a ‘great challenge’ ⠀ & ⠀ it also held the possibility of a golden globe nomination along with it. ⠀ SO, ⠀ begrudgingly, ⠀ she agreed.

as she stands at the door, ⠀ clothing stuck to her skin, ⠀ drenched in rainwater, ⠀ she already regrets her choice. , ⠀ she knocks on the door ⠀ — ⠀ the echo of the metal reverberating.⠀ she stands there for a few moments, ⠀ shivering. ⠀ then, ⠀ a click. ⠀ a face peeks out.

“ ⠀ hi ⠀ … ⠀ ” ⠀ she extends a hand, ⠀ letting it linger in front of the stranger for a moment. ⠀ “ ⠀ mary jane watson. ⠀ ” ⠀ she smiles, ⠀ a feeble attempt at warmth. ⠀ “ ⠀ you dance here? ⠀ ”

[ohdete]

“ … Down came the rain, and washed the spider out…” I dance my fingers along the length of my arm, mumbling beneath my breath. It’s cold down here, and my voice wavers, a hint of my smoky humanity unfurling before me. Still, I wait. I wait for our itsy bitsy spider, for her to be washed through our heavy doors.

Although I try not to show it, I am kind of annoyed that I must be the liaison for Mother, instead of practicing for our upcoming recital. A punishment no doubt — but perhaps a deserved one. Good is a stupid word. I don’t want to be a good dancer.

Her knock frightens me out of my song, the awful metal sound reverberating in my inner ear. I cringe, and my mouth flexes upwards into a smile. Pleasant, agreeable. It’s more on impulse now than of genuine feeling. I hold it that way as she enters, brushing past me as I close the door. I can feel the lingering wetness splatter against my thighs. “ Hi. ” My voice is too soft, too low, so I start again. “ Sorry — Hi. I’m Nina. ” The soft of my palm meets with hers in greeting.

Mary Jane Watson. It’s all I’ve heard the girls whispering since Mother announced her upcoming arrival. Already they wait like hyenas outside their doors, gazing with horribly selfish eyes. They want to make her a piece of them. I can understand the sentiment, just not with her. I think of Beth — our prima ballerina in New York. I keep clippings of her recent news beneath my pillow, and at night, I dream of inhabiting her body, of performing on stage as her …

“ I’m um. Here for the year, yeah. My um. Director said it would be a really good … experience.” I pause for a moment, thinking of Thomas. My stomach aches. “ You — jeez.. you probably want new clothes. I’m so sorry, I can um. Show you the room if you want to change. ”

[ohdete]

Bro

[ohdete]

Guess who I’m

[ohdete]

you already know what I’m going to say

[ohdete]

“ I’m so — oh I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, I’m so clumsy, I don’t know um, what’s gotten into me. ” Me — she whispers in my ear. But I’m too distracted with helping clean up the contents of the knocked over purse to hear it. @matriarclair

[ohdete]

Beating Thomas to death with hammers tmrw at 3pm

[ohdete]

“ I um. Liked your performance. ” My throat feels dry, my tongue sandpaper. Two more, then I’m on. My leotard glimmers in the dim light of backstage. “ Have you … been sing—singing for a while? ” @411talk

[ohdete]

“ Must you truly leave again Ser Gwayne? ” My face is filled with apprehension, the bitter hand of loneliness squeezing tightly on my bare throat. @camewinter

[ohdete]

“ Oh! Oh I’m so, um. Sorry — I, I did not realize anyone else would be in here ... ” @pemberleuy

[ohdete]

Does anyone want a dialogue starter like can our characters just chat x

[mcgillpilled]

Go (1999) dir. Doug Liman

[redheid]

what are you doing? don't do that.

ah pause with the thing halfway into ma jacket pocket. — whit am ah doing? ah give a shrug, like it's obvious. like it isnae embarrassin actually being caught out like this. — improving ma financial situation, mostly ... 's hardly the mona lisa.

[ohdete]

With Eliza’s glittering barrette burning a hole in my own pocket, I remind myself that what I’m doing is different. What I’m doing is appreciative. Eliza, so elegant and refined in her movements. So perfect. I just want to feel some of that. Just the tiniest bit.

“ Yeah, but um … ” I glance towards what seems to be the supervisor of the store, his beady eyes already trained on the erratic movements of Mark. “ I just um. Don’t want you to get in trouble. ”

[ohdete]

Hi

[ohdete]