scientists have so far failed to find a heterosexual explanation for this
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@ohgodthebrainworms
scientists have so far failed to find a heterosexual explanation for this
further musings on the wile e. coyote theory of river cartwright (source)
misattributed us political quotes, pt. 2:
who tf would say that??? (bolded those currently in office)
1) pres. dubya 2) pres. lyndon b. johnson 3) us rep. george santos 4) sen. john edwards 5) us rep. karen handel 6) speaker of the house newt gingrich 7) CA gov. arnold schwarzenegger 8) supreme court justice antonin scalia 9) lyndon b. johnson 10) NYC mayor eric adams 11) trump 12) NJ gov. chris christie 13) pres. bush the first 14) pres. richard nixon 15) DC mayor marion berry 16) trump 17) philly mayor frank rizzo 18) us rep. michele bachmann 19) george santos 20) michele bachmann 21) NYC mayor rudy giuliani 22) trump 23) white house staffer anthony scaramucci 24) pres. advisor kellyanne conway 25) denver mayoral candidate jamie giellis 26) supreme court justice brett kavanaugh 27) secretary of health and human services rfk jr. 28) pres. advisor karl rove 29) eric adams 30) frank rizzo
also. no wonder river cartwright is so fucked up heβs got three sort of father figures and the most stable one is jackson lamb
holy shit i need to know more about your thoughts on river meeting his dad and also all of the weird psychosexual aggression from every man he interacts with please omg also like what do you think about how he would be treated at les arbes if he was actually in the assassin cult for a while like will there be more of that weird slightly incestuous stuff how will it manifest please i beg im rabid i need to know moreee
YAYYY YIPPEE IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED
so first i have to establish that like half of the men on the show engage with river in a psychosexual way. like spider, duffy, and hobbs all individually make comments and act in ways thatβs aggressively sexual to river. iβm not even saying that in a shipping way itβs just interesting. i donβt know where im going with this but what about river makes every man who hates him in a 300 mile radius want to beat him up while also being weirdly sexual about it? those moments are often played for laughs (especially hobbs in s3) and donβt often have the same undercurrent of danger that frankβs actions do. and i think the show did a really great balance of that because they ran the risk of coming across as either making attraction between men the butt of the joke or excusing male sexual violence as a joke and they did neither (imo)!! which often in media i see both are fumbled intensely. instead they use this expectation as a way to separate frank to mark his horrific nature. his actions towards his sons arenβt humorous in the same way spider/duffy/hobbs are
ALSO i realized as i was typing; often when media does stuff like this (making sexual comments at a characters expense without intending it to have Heavy Meaning) it often mocks the person receiving the comments. i think slow horses is different because a lot of the time itβs clear that spider/duffy/hobbs are making out of pocket comments/behaviors and river isnβt the one mocked for this. weβre aligned with river in that moment of ???lmao??? instead of laughing at river. it helps that all three of these characters are antagonistic towards the characters we want to root for, but arenβt as dangerous as frank. that minimal level of power they sit at, both internal to the narrative and external, allows us to laugh AT THEM in those moments instead of at river. frank, however, has intense power internally and externally to the narrative (as he is one of the main villains of the show, and river has not been able to outsmart him). when he does psychosexual stuff towards river, instead of having that same humor we are like oh my god what the fuck. thereβs a lot more worry for river and fear of what frank is capable of, and the incest adds to that level of horror. the way he acts towards his sons establishes this level of ohhh this is different and worrying. tldr narratively important incest?
iβm not totally sure how it would manifest if river were to join les arbres at his current age (and probably unwillingly) but iβm sure that if he had been born into it it wouldβve been the same as we saw with patrice. i wonder what itβs going to be like when frank comes back in s6 and river knows who he is and what heβs done. uh oh river!!!
dominant things you can say during sex
i didnt hear what you said
hold on i need to blow my nose
wow
i feel kind of nauseous
is this anything
i don't know
this kind of reminds me of that one song
we can probably ignore that noise if you want to
why is my sock wet
it smells bad in here
that was weird
where are my glasses
ow
this is normal
sorry
just 2 chill people chilling
this is cool
can you say that again
are we good
youre actually naked
bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements
reblog to let people know it's ok to bother you with questions and statements
Slough House working atmosphere. If it can be called that.
If you're writing anything involving cons, scams, heists, or morally questionable characters who are very good at lying, here are some free resources I've been using for research. Saving you the "why is this in my search history" anxiety.
1. The FBI's Famous Cases & Criminals archive (fbi.gov/history/famous-cases) has detailed breakdowns of real fraud cases, Ponzi schemes, and confidence operations. The language they use is clinical and precise, which is perfect for getting the procedural details right.
2. The FTC Consumer Sentinel Network publishes annual reports on the most common fraud tactics in the US. Great for understanding how modern scams actually work and what makes people fall for them.
3. The Smithsonian's American Art Museum has a free digital collection of forgery case studies. If your character forges documents or art, this is gold.
4. Court Listener (courtlistener.com) is a free legal database where you can read actual court transcripts from fraud trials. Want to know how a real con artist talks under oath? This is where you find out.
5. The Internet Archive's collection of old newspaper crime sections. Search for "confidence man" or "swindle" in papers from the 1920s through 1960s and you'll find incredible real stories that would feel too dramatic for fiction.
Bonus: The Psychology of Fraud section on the Association for Psychological Science website has accessible articles about why people trust, how deception works cognitively, and what makes someone a convincing liar. Essential reading if you want your con artist characters to feel psychologically real.
Reblog to save for later. Your WIP will thank you.
happy pride month.
in new zealand, our evil government are trying to legislate definitions of women and men, in ways that are legally incoherent but clearly trying to pave the way for more horrifically transphobic legislation. we have an election in a few months but our main opposition party, and all our mainstream news media, are so spineless and cooked that there's a good chance the ghouls will win reelection.
it took 2 whole months for local terf group 'speak up for women' to get 2,000 signatures on the petition that led to this new bill in our parliament.
it's taken five days for this pro-trans 'they don't speak for us' petition to get 17,000 signatures.
this is a show of support that is really heartening for a lot of trans people in our corner of the world.
cis/ish women, if you're from here but haven't signed yet, please do. and if you're not from here and you know any new zealanders, could you send them this petition? a full fifth of our population lives overseas, and there's a good chance they don't follow the news.
LINK
TL;DR upfront: we all have limited time in the day, and while you can use it to sign this petition if you like, the most effective thing you can do right now is make a submission on the actual bill that is currently in the Select Committee stage and open for feedback. Your signature on a petition might be read. Your submission in Parliament's call for submissions will be read.
I've pulled together a LOT of links to help you do just that.
Even formal petitions made regarding matters Parliament is already considering will be ignored. If you want to do something useful to stop this particular flavour of bullshit, your best bet is to make a submission to the Select Committee currently considering this bill. You can, and I encourage you to, do so here:
House
Here's an explanation from Te KΔhui Tika Tangata, the Human Rights Commission, on why this bill is unnecessary and harmful, to help you:
Here's guidelines from Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa:
The bill seeking to define βwomanβ and βmanβ not only excludes and harms trans and intersex people, but also potentially has unintended cons
Here's some help from Qtopia, including a really good step by step of how to make a submission:
Submissions are open for the Legislation (Definitions of Woman and Man) Amendment Bill. This is a guide produced by a collective of transgen
Here's some from Rights Aotearoa:
An unworkable, expensive solution in search of a non-existent problem.
happy pride to them I think?
But I didn't ask for your help, River. I don't want any help.
on louisa
slow horses, mick herron / slow horses 2x03, "drinking games" / sea wall, simon stephens / 2x03 / human acts, han kang (trans. deborah smith) / 2x03 / can't help myself, sun yuan & peng yu / 2x03 / boot theory, richard siken / 3x04, "uninvited guests" / the dogs i have kissed, trista mateer / 3x04 / norwegian wood, haruki murakami / 3x06, "footprints" / the lonely city, olivia laing / 4x01, "identity theft" / scientific method, james tadd adcox / 4x02, "a stranger comes to town" / spook street, mick herron / 4x06, "hello goodbye" / spook street / war of the foxes, richard siken / 5x01, "bad dates" / my heart is a cockroach, caught in the mouth of an alley cat, kyla pereles / 5x01 / hum, hum, mary oliver / 5x01 / 3x04
πππ
8/12
SURRRPRRIISSEE @countessrivers βΌοΈπ₯π₯
I wanted to make drawings for everyone who joined the secret santa along with the person Iβm gifting to, thank you so much for participating! <333
had to draw you some riverduffy!! we need more art of them 100% π love love love your fics π
Unexpectedly productive and enjoyable writing exercise: find some way of randomly selecting two characters. Do that until you get a combination that makes you think "how the fuck would that happen?" Work it out, then write it in 2000 words or less.
In related news, I'm probably posting a Spider/Lamb one-shot this weekend.