Delusion

Livin' the days, as the same old me.

[ohjustlivin]

I bled over the people who did not wound me.

[ohjustlivin]

My feelings are on to me. If anyone is to be blamed between us, that person is me.

You never asked for my heart. And you don't deserve the scorn for not giving me yours.

[bnmxfld]

People change and forget to tell each other.

Lillian Hellman

[ohjustlivin]

He didn't remember you at the time of his victories.

And he didn't remember you at the time of his sorrows.

You do not matter to him.

You never did.

[emotionalwords]

[ohjustlivin]

Why didn't I reach back to you?

Because my heart is already bruised and you still hold the power to hurt me.

[emotionalwords]

Dear me, stop expecting so much from people.

[ohjustlivin]

Was it me who deserved so less? Or was it their incapability to give the bare minimum?

[ohjustlivin]

I let him assume the worst of me because he doesn't deserve my demons in his life.

[ohjustlivin]

The only thing that is helping me to let you go is the realisation that I need a man strong enough to hold me.

To anchor me when I sink.

To glue me when I fall apart.

Just be my strength.

While you are the person who sweats over broken pieces; let alone pick them up.

[thoughtcascades]

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them

[ohjustlivin]

And maybe I was not worth the risk...

[ohjustlivin]

Let the practicality rule over that heart.

We are not living in a damn novel and are destined for that happily-ever-after.

[ohjustlivin]

I need to understand that you are not mine to take care of.

[ohjustlivin]

It had been months, not hearing from you.

I want to text you.

But I need you to text me first.

Just for once, I need to be at the receiving end

[weltenwellen]

It’s weird to grow up in a family where you know you’re loved but you don’t feel loved. And then later in adulthood you understand how almost impossible it seems to cross that distance and let yourself experience closeness, how otherworldly love feels now and how love feels unbearable at times. You flinch when someone tries to wholeheartedly love you. And over and over you see so clearly how you cannot be loved unless it's from afar and love is mixed with that familiar sensation of distance and coldness.

[weltenwellen]

when Florence Welsh said "What a thing to admit that when someone looks at me with real love I don't like it very much / Kinda makes me feel like I'm being crushed"

[weltenwellen]

Sense8

[ohjustlivin]

You mattered more to me than I did to you.

And now I wonder, did I ever mean something to you at all?

[ohjustlivin]

You deserve to be loved completely.

The commitment.

The hand holding.

The teasing.

The long eye holds.

The loud bold confession.

So that there's no doubt left,

That they belong to you.

And you to them.