PAIRING: game creator!haechan x game creator!reader (female!reader)
GENRE: strangers to lovers au, rivals to lovers au, angst, fluff, suggestive, Black Mirror inspired, humor
WARNINGS: explicit language, semi-graphic scenes (part of a video game), smoking, mention of drugs and (inaccurate depiction of) drug use, suggestive scenes, pet names, far too many elevator scenes, poor attempt at humorous scenes, plot twist, dark twist
WC: 21,8k
‣[PLAYLIST]: formula by labrinth, control by halsey, mount everst by labrinth, genesis by grimes, pink matter by frank ocean
SUMMARY: an ambitious young game creator seeks recognition of her work in one of the largest gaming companies in the world. meeting the senior game creator of the company, a series of decisions and events will determine her journey.
A/N: This is heavily inspired by a mix of a bunch of different Black Mirror episodes, mainly Bandersnatch. Even if you're not familiar with the series, I hope you enjoy this fic regardless!
“Have a seat here Ms L/n, I’ll inform Mr Suh about your arrival,” the secretary gestures towards the small white couch by the wall, as she picked up the phone from her desk to press a few numbers before bringing it to her ear. You sat down with a huff, the couch cushions around you engulfing you as your body sank deeper into the soft material.
The atmosphere inside the Neo Tech Games building was similar to that of a hospital; awkwardly quiet, extremely clean, eerie and bland, with an essence of uneasiness and spookyness about it. You weren’t expecting anything else from a worldwide famous game developing company. When you called to ask for a business proposal to this place, you weren’t exactly expecting the workers to welcome you with open arms and a warm hug.
You tapped your fingers on your knees, watching attentively the secretary, paying detailed attention to her body language. Sitting behind a tall large wooden desk, you could only see her head and the top of her shoulders, wrapped around a very expensive looking blazer. You shivered at the formality of the place, anxiety hitting you suddenly as your meeting with the company’s CEO was approaching. It wasn’t too late to back up and leave. They won’t listen to you anyway, a humble indie game creator in desperate need of a job and some recognition.
The wheels of a chair rolling on glassy tiles brought you out of your obsessive thoughts. The secretary approached you and you jolted up from the comfortable sofa, looking more nervous and desperate than what you intended to show. The lady must have sensed how tense you were by the pathetic smile she gave you. “Mr Suh is ready to see you, follow me, Ms L/n,” she gestured towards the elevator. Picking up your bag and slinging it over your shoulder, you followed behind her, her heels clicking on the tiles with an echo inside the deafeningly silent room. You wouldn’t want to admit it, but if the secretary made you feel this uptight and estranged, you can’t imagine how the CEO and the Heads of the company’s departments are going to be.
Entering the elevator, the secretary pressed the button to the top floor of the building and scanned her employee’s ID card which was hanging around her neck. You noticed that her name was Joohyun and noted it mentally for future reference. A beep was heard from inside the elevator’s speaker before the doors closed and your stomach dropped at the sudden lift. Everything was uneasily quiet.
Joohyun noticed your intense gaze fixated on every single one of her moves. She cleared her throat and you immediately looked at your feet. “The elevator doors open directly to Mr Suh’s office. Scanning is for security purposes, it informs him about who is coming up,” she clarified and you gulped, nodding in understanding with a tight-lipped smile flashed her way. Your fingers were trembling around your shoulder bag and your feet were starting to melt in nervousness.
The elevator stopped with a thud and the signature beep was heard again before the doors slid open. Taking a deep breath, you tried to steady your heartbeat. You’ve done worse things than this. It’s not the first time you present one of your ideas to game companies. You could handle rejection for one more time.
Joohyun stepped out of the elevator to the spacious room in front of you. You took this as a sign to follow, the elevator doors closing automatically behind you once you were fully standing inside the office.
Looking around you, the CEO’s office incorporated the same design idea as the reception hall down at the ground floor. Same bland white walls, glass tiles, eerie lighting and that weird silence. In front of you, Neo Tech Games’s reputable CEO, Johnny Suh, was typing away something on the keyboard, attention fixed on the huge desktop screen in front of him. He looked focused, determined, and successful, which was everything you aspired to become in your future career.
“Mr Suh, your appointment is here,” Joohyun broke the silence with a soft voice, bringing the CEO’s attention from his screen to her. He glanced briefly at you and nodded, standing up from his leather chair. His heels clicked on the tiles too and you instantly regretted your more casual appearance as opposed to the formal business attire that everyone else in this building seemed to be wearing.
“Ah, thank you, dear. You can head downstairs to carry on with your duties,” Mr Suh smiled as he approached you, and Joohyun nodded curtly before walking back to the elevator.
And now you were all alone. Mr Suh turned to you, extending his palm towards you. “You must be Ms L/n, am I right? I’m Johnny Suh, CEO of Neo Tech Games,” he introduced himself and you returned the handshake, the firm grip of his hand adding to your admiration.
“It’s such a pleasure to meet you, Mr Suh. I’m so honored to be here, thank you for taking the time to review my product. It’s seriously such an honor,” you said a bit more excitedly as you wanted, but he didn’t seem to mind. Despite the cold environment in his office, the renown CEO radiated a certain warmth around him.
With a throaty, rich-sounding giggle, he let go of your hand. “The pleasure is all mine, Ms L/n. It’s always so interesting meeting ambitious young creators. Over here, let’s head to the conference room and get started with your presentation, shall we?” he said and you agreed, following him down the room towards the automatic sliding glass doors.
Your nerves had significantly calmed down after the brief interaction with Mr Suh. Turns out the secretary was scarier than him, who would’ve thought? The presentation couldn’t go that badly. You had done it a million times before, you had made all the necessary changes from the feedback you received from other companies, you had rehearsed the words so many times you could even recite them in your sleep. Nothing could go wrong at this point.
Except for the figures of three more men sitting at the conference table behind the sliding doors.
The two of them seemed to be around Mr Suh’s age, they were dressed in similar business casual outfits and were chatting about something you couldn’t figure out from outside the room. The doors must be soundproof, you thought. The third man, however, was familiar to you. Dressed more casually, much like yourself, he was looking outside the floor-length windows, tapping his fingers on the table. Even though he was your age, he had achieved levels of success you wouldn’t even imagine you could achieve yourself.
Your calm heartbeating sped up at the sight of the game developer you looked up to the most.
The doors opened as the motion detector lit up with Mr Suh’s presence, and you entered the conference room with hesitant steps behind him. “Before we begin, I think it’s fair for you to meet my business associates, Ms L/n. This is Kim Doyoung, Executive Leader of all our projects,” you extend your hand to greet him as he gave you a warm gummy smile in acknowledgment. “Then this is our artist Ten, Head of the Creative and Design Team,” you repeated the action as you received a soft greeting and a fleeting wink from the man. And then your eyes landed on the celebrity of the gaming world.
“And this is our most acclaimed game creator, Lee Donghyuck, you may know him by his signing name, Haechan. I guess as a fellow game creator yourself, Ms L/n, you are familiar with him,” Mr Suh said you gave Haechan the most firm handshake you could master, trying to hide your enthusiasm. “Yes of course I know him, he’s the youngest game creator to achieve such worldwide success in the video game world! It’s such a pleasure to meet you Haech- excuse me, Mr Lee. I have finished both USS Chiller and USS Chiller:Into the Dream more times than I can even remember. The gameplay is just unreal, you really are a genius-”
“Not a very professional way to introduce yourself, Ms L/n, don’t you think?” he said sternly and you gulped, saving your praise for another time. His age and casual appearance fooled you into speaking more informally to him, forgetting that his attitude would be in tune with the company he’s working at.
Mr Suh’s voice brought you back to reality, addressing you. “Well, now that you’ve met my most trusting associates, you can begin with your presentation, Ms L/n,” he urged you, sitting at the head of the conference table. Fishing out your flash drive from your bag, you plugged it in the laptop connected to the video wall screen. Sighing, you grabbed the remote control and began your presentation.
You straightened your shirt, fixing your standing posture and cleared your throat. “Before I begin, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Y/n, I am an independent game creator and developer. The project I’m about to show you is called Username:Nellie, a story-driven, interactive simulation game catered for adolescents and young adults, with a greater emphasis on the female gender within this age group,” you gulped, moving on to the next slide of your presentation.
“The game is set into a high-tech fantasy world, a genre that Neo Tech Games is mostly popular for, and it blends different types of gameplays into one: there is a prominent plot line the player follows which can be altered by the decisions they make along the way, hence the interactive aspect of the game. There are escape rooms, puzzles and riddles the player needs to solve which require complex thinking as opposed to passive consumption of the product,” you said carefully, watching the men in front of you nod and hum with great neutrality. Their lack of showing any positive or negative reaction to your words was making you nervous, yet you tried not to worry your head about it.
You click onto the next slide. “The game can also fall under the RPG category. It's third-person gameplay so every player experiences the game as Nellie, our character.
The player can add their own personal touch to the character by customizing her appearance in clothes, mostly armory, and weapons,” upon the mention of weapons, you noticed the men’s faces twist in different forms. Doyoung narrowed his eyes, Johnny tilted his head to the side, Ten crossed his arms furrowing his eyebrows while Haechan raised his. You had caught their attention.
“You heard it right, gentlemen,” you showed the next slideshow, “Nellie’s journey requires engaging in combat with magical monsters and unnatural enemies,” you said but their facial expressions didn’t relax.
“You seem quite confused,” you muttered and Haechan leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table.
“See, Ms L/n, you keep on talking on and on about all the random features of the game without explaining how these combinations can work,” Haechan said with a slight annoyance and irony laced in his tone, interrupting your thought process.
With the side of your eye, you caught Doyoung nodding and you straightened your posture once again. “See, Mr Lee, it’s because you interrupted me as I was about to explain the storyline of my game,” your answer matched his attitude and he scoffed. The other men remained quiet.
“My bad then, Ms L/n,” Haechan said as he leaned back to his chair, “you can move on”.
“Thank you,” you said out of typical formality and not because you meant it. Did this guy have a bone to pick with you for no reason? And to think you admired his work a few minutes ago.
“So the story goes like this. Nellie wakes up in a small dark room, pretty normal-looking, very mundane, but she has no idea where she is. She gets up from her bed and notices a riddle and a map with an X mark on it attached to the door. That’s where the escape room comes; the player has to solve puzzles and riddles to get Nellie out of the mysterious room,” you start but no one in the room is moved by your answer yet.
“When Nellie opens the door, she is magically transferred into a fantasy world in which she embarks on a journey to find the mystery spot on the map. The map depicts the place she is at. During her journey, Nellie meets the magical creatures who help her, she battles with the evil ones, and through random small quests she earns crystals and XP which allow her to buy and upgrade armory, weapons and her fighting skills. With every creature she converses, Nellie is met with dilemmas, and the player can help her choose with the interaction feature. The decisions will alter the storyline, however the ending will always be the same. Nellie discovers a forsaken village of which she is destined to become the ruler and restore it back to its civilized form,” you finish and the game experts in front of you seem to think of…a lot of different things at once.
“It’s the journey that counts, not the destination,” Mr Suh mumbled and you nodded with a smile. “Exactly. I didn’t want to make one of many town developing games. There are plenty of those on the market. And don’t get me wrong, they’re adorable, but this one combines all of these interesting things. I wanted to come up with something unique,” you smiled at them, certain with the quality of your product.
Haechan shifted on his seat and you prepared yourself for more contradictions. Was he planted here today to play devil’s advocate?
“And what makes you think your product will have success in such a competitive market, Ms L/n?” he challenged you and fought so hard not to roll your eyes. You were prepared for this question.
“As you noticed Mr Lee, and as a game creator yourself, I strive to create something that will catch the target audience’s attention by bridging something familiar with something novel. I didn’t want to reproduce something that has been done before, but I also took inspiration from multiple components of already existing games that would guarantee a successful result, always keeping in mind the target audience,” you answered, keeping strong eye contact with him, watching him clench his jawline.
Haechan rested his elbows on the sides of his chair, interlacing his fingers with one another. “Well, I don’t think it’s gonna work. It’s too cluttered. Too much going on. Personally, I would never play such a game and I doubt other people would,” he said smugly.
“Are you perhaps a teenage girl, Mr Lee?” you challenged him and the other men tried to suppress their laughter. Haechan’s eyes widened. “Because if you’re not, then you’re not the right person to judge the appeal of my game but you’re here to judge other things regarding it. And help improve it,” you pressed and he fixed his gaze onto you. You swore there were fumes coming out of his nostrils.
A few agonizing seconds passed of you and Haechan maintaining eye contact, his irritated eyes piercing yours. You fought so hard not to blink and break eye contact, as if you were caught in a staring contest. The brims of your eyes started to water and keeping them open started to physically hurt you. The other men in the room remained silent, as if they weren’t even there.
Haechan finally broke eye contact, poking his tongue inside his cheek. “Alright then,” he smacked his lips, “is that all you got for us, Ms L/n?” he asked with a hint of boredom in his voice but you were quick to dismiss him.
“Actually no, I have a short demo of the game in case you want to test it and experience it a little bit. It will only take 20 minutes, if you have some extra time to spare,” you said looking at all the experts in the room.
Ten, the creative designer as you recalled, shifted in his seat. “Well, I guess we could spend some more time. I’m intrigued by the game, but I also need to see the art style graphics to form a complete opinion,” he urged and everyone else agreed, except Haechan who rolled his eyes but eventually mumbled something like ‘sure’ under his breath.
You fish out the USB stick with the game demo out of your bag with ease. You had put it in the front pocket for easy access, always prepared for this turn of events. Other companies didn’t even want to see the demo, they had already rejected your product before you even mentioned it. This was a great difference already, you might actually stand a chance here.
You insert the USB stick into the laptop and wait for the game to load. Once the setup is ready, you turn the laptop screen towards the men and they gather closely to watch you demonstrate the demo.
While playing, you tried to take glimpses of their reactions. It’s safe to say that they were well-trained at keeping a poker face. You explained the game functions, gave them little fun facts about certain design details, you let them take liberty in taking decisions on behalf of Nellie, letting them experience the interactive element. You let them experience the game. Unlike other companies which immediately dismissed you based on a poor presentation of your game, the Neo Tech Games associates knew that in order to actually test a game, you have to play it.
The demo gameplay came to an end and you saw Doyoung pout and then sigh. “I quite enjoyed this. I see the potential here, Ms L/n, you’ve done a great job so far. I can already envision the marketing techniques we could follow for the promotions. This is very promising, actually,” he said and you almost shed tears of happiness. Not yet, Y/n.
The CEO and the Head of the Creative and Design Team nodded in agreement. “This is an interesting videogame you have here, Ms L/n. I think it’s worth taking the risk, am I right, Haechan?” Mr Suh averted his gaze towards Haechan who rolled his eyes subtly enough for you to notice. He sighed, “I mean, yeah, I guess,” he finally said and you smiled at his positive answer, although it wasn’t entirely his opinion.
“So, here’s my offer, Ms L/n,” Mr Suh looked at you, suddenly wearing the poker face he had on while playing the game. “I’lll give you two options: You could finish the development of your game working from home, given a three-month deadline from now. The game will be released under Neo Tech Games, but all profit goes to your name,” he started and the offer already sounded like a dream. “Or, you could start working at the company and receive help in developing your game by working with our team. In this case, the game will be credited as ‘designed by committee’, but you’ll have the chance to work with some of the best professionals in the industry. It’s a guaranteed success, and the game will be released by the end of the year” he finished, stoic and serious.
You had to weigh your options and you had to do it quickly. You bit your lip in thought. “So if I release the game independently, it could completely flop?” you asked and they giggled at your choice of words.
“Not exactly, but the chances of an unsuccessful release are much greater,” Mr Suh mentioned, suppressing a smile.
“But if I work with you, all the profits are distributed across everybody who worked on the game’s development,” you concluded and Mr Suh hummed in agreement.
“Exactly, Ms L/n. So, what do you say? I presented you two different offers, now the call is all yours. The decision is solely based on you,” he said and you felt like a video game character yourself, Mr Suh’s waiting face in front of you, the two options flashing in boxes on either side of the screen and a timer bar ticking, giving you just enough time pressure to decide before the system makes a default decision for you. However, you’re not a character in any game; you’re the player in your game, and you were responsible for the turn of events.
Clearing your throat, you stretched your arm towards Mr Suh and gave him a smile. “So, when can I start coming to the office, boss?” you asked and he smirked, eyes blinking. “8 a.m. tomorrow, come over to my office first to walk you through some of the company’s policies,” he said, meeting your hand in a handshake. “I’m excited to do business with you, Ms L/n,” he said and you bowed softly. “Likewise, Mr Suh,” you said.
You shook hands with the other men too before packing your things to leave. “I’ll assign you your own desk office at the Development & Tech Team Department. Haechan over here will be your right man in command, you can always ask him anything you want,” Mr Suh said, getting up from his chair.
Both you and Haechan moved in sync, heads turning towards Mr Suh with wide eyes. “What?” Haechan practically growled.
“You heard me, Haechan,” Mr Suh places emphasis on his name, “you’re the best in what you do. Y/n over here will be something like your intern. She’s new in the industry, she came over here with a genius game idea, all she needs is the right guidance to learn new things and develop as a game creator. You’re the only one who can train her,” Mr Suh said, leaving the conference room towards his office.
You and Haechan followed behind him, the other two men already back to their respective offices. “Look, Johnny, I didn’t agree to this. You made me agree to giving a chance to this stupid game of hers, but that’s it! Don’t make me have to do anything with it,” Haechan was mad, the aggravation in his voice echoing in the sickly quiet room.
“The offer includes teamwork, Haechan,” Mr Suh said plopping down on his chair, eyes locked on his computer screen, “so you, as the Head of the Development & Tech Team, as well as the rest of the department members will help Y/n with her game. In fact, let’s prioritize this project starting tomorrow. Put everything else on hold,” he said and Haechan ran his hands through his hair. He was so obviously frustrated. He muttered something under his breath before storming off the office into the open elevator doors.
You stood there for a while, replaying the events in your head. You don’t know what made him react like this. You had just met but he had already decided that he didn’t like you. At all. You were such a big fan of Haechan and his work before your encounter with him, but now your view of him changed drastically. Did he feel threatened by you or something?
You called the elevator after a while. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr Suh. Thank you for giving me this opportunity,” you said, turning to leave.
“You made the right decision, Yn,” you heard his voice echo behind you.
You made the right choice.
Walking into the Neo Tech Games building for the second time was relatively easier than the first. The atmosphere wasn’t as unsettling anymore, the clicking of your shoes on the tiled floor didn’t echo as much and the staff smiled slightly more at you. You would either get used to their cold professionalism or you would adapt to become one of them. Only time will tell.
Earlier in the morning, you greeted Joohyun, the familiar secretary at the hall’s front desk, before heading towards the elevator for your meeting with Mr Suh, who actually asked you to call him ‘just Johnny’. During your conversation with Johnny, you reviewed your contract once again before he gave you instructions regarding the company’s policy, your rights and obligations as an employee at Neo Tech Games, and then took you to your desk at the offices of the Development & Tech Department. Your very own desk in the office.
You were the only person in the office at the moment. You came to work an hour earlier than the other employees for your appointment with Johnny, so now you had an extra half an hour to spend trying to acclimate yourself in the new working environment. The offices of the Development & Tech Department were surprisingly a little more lively than the rest of the building; the floors were carpeted and the walls were decorated with posters of the games developed by the company. Upon exiting the elevator to the offices, a ginormous promo poster of Haechan’s USS Chiller, the most popular and successful game of Neo Tech, covered almost the entire left wall of the small hallway. The right side was decorated with a vending machine and a few fake plants, which brought the place to life. Entering the offices, each employee had decorated their own offices, adding personal touches to their workspaces which gave the place a homely essence, and smaller promo posters of games covered multiple spots on the walls. The only thing that reminded you of the high-tech architecture of the building were the floor-length windows which spread all over the left side of the room.
Placing your things on your desk, you roamed all over the room looking at the posters. One day, Username:Nellie would have a poster like this on its own. Perhaps a big one, not as big as Haechan’s, but large enough to catch the eyes of people walking inside. You couldn’t believe your once flight of fancy was one tiny step closer to becoming real.
It was ten minutes to 9 a.m. now and the rest of the employees would start arriving in any minute. The air conditioning in the room was drying out the atmosphere, and you desperately needed a refreshment to soothe the dryness in your throat. You walked out of the offices to the hall outside, inserting a coin to the vending machine to grab a soda. Turning around, your eyes fell on the USS Chiller poster. It required superhuman strength not to notice such an enormous thing. The Chiller spaceship was depicted in all its glory on a solid black background, reminiscent of outer space. The characters of the game were placed on different spots all over the spaceship like stickers, adding a three dimensional effect. On the top of the poster, the catchphrase of the game ‘Cool out, don’t panic!’ was written in a retro-futuristic font. You were staring at it, thinking that one day, everything would be possible. Your game deserved to have a poster of its own, just like this one.
You were lost in your thoughts to the point you didn’t hear the elevator arriving. “Don’t stare too much, I might think you want to plagiarize me,” a voice startled you and you turned to witness the culprit. Speak of the devil.
Haechan looked at you with a pathetic gaze, as if he felt sorry for you. This guy couldn’t even hide his dislike for you at all, his face gave away everything he felt for you and you just wished he was one of those all smiley people who mask every ill-intended emotion for the sake of good teamwork. Unfortunately, Haechan’s case wasn’t like this.
But you wouldn't give into his disdainful comments. You would play it cool and not panic about it, the words of reassurance were literally plastered in front of you in letters bigger than your own head. “The Creative and Design Team did a great job with this. The graphics look amazing,” you said, justifying the reason for your staring at the big poster.
Haechan seemed to be delighted by your comment. Smirking, an annoyingly smug expression on his face, he took a few steps closer to you and leaned towards your ear, his body so close to yours you could feel his coffee-smelling hot breath on your neck. “Actually,” he lowered his voice, “I designed the poster,” he said, leaning back to look at your, expectantly, shocked face. You gulped and looked at him, your eyes twitching in annoyance. “The rest of the team will be here in a minute, don’t you think it’s better you set your computer up now?” he told you and turned his heel, opening the door to the offices and closing it behind him, not waiting for you to join him.
You let out a deep sigh, closing your eyes. You knew that you shouldn't idolize people, no matter what they have done. You knew it wasn’t right. You knew that even if Haechan was a role model to you, a person who you always looked up to, you shouldn't be surprised he was such a jerk in real life. He was the most successful self-made game creator and he was only in his mid 20s. You wanted to be like him, you wanted to learn from him, work with him, you wanted to be a cocreator to him, not a rival. But you guess all the fame and success that comes at an early age automatically makes you an arrogant selfish prick. If you wanted your game to be released, you needed to destroy the perfect image of Haechan you had created in your head and learn how to cooperate with the real-life bitch version.
The elevator doors opened again and a group of people came out, rushing to open the office door. This was your signal to go inside too, walking carefully to your desk to start working.
Everyone seemed very disciplined. As if they were programmed robots, everyone sat down on their desk chairs, turned on their computers and placed their coffee cups on their desks. This was a routine for them. They came here every day and immediately took on their tasks of the day without any enthusiasm. They viewed the office purely as work.
You, on the other hand, held immense excitement about your working experience at Neo Tech. Maybe it was because you were a freelancer working there under a contract, or because as a game creator you were heavily involved in your own work, but either way this new opportunity at such an environment didn’t seem boring or monotonous to you at all. Would you get bored of this routine after a while too?
A loud huff was heard on your left and you turned to see Haechan plopping down on the leather chair next to you. “What are you doing here?” you asked and he rolled his eyes at you.
“I’m supposed to be helping you, remember? Johnny assigned you the desk right next to mine,” Haechan sighed and shifted his attention to his computer screen, grabbing his mouse to start working on something.
Absolutely no way.
You stared at him completely baffled. You knew you were supposed to work with him, it was stated in the contract. But you weren’t expecting such close proximity. And you hated being this close to Haechan, especially at that moment.
You tried to convince yourself that you would get used to him over time. You only hoped this would happen rather soon, or else you would be one step closer to ending it all.
Haechan started typing things in his computer, you would assume it was code, and only took breaks to sip from his coffee cup. You watched him work attentively, eyes narrowing at the screen, slender fingers typing fast on the keyboard. He stopped typing for a moment, hand moving the grab the mouse, scrolling with furrowed eyebrows as he was probably reviewing what he had just typed. He paused his scrolling for a second, his whole body leaning towards the screen and his other hand moving to rest under his chin, same expression on his face. If you didn’t know any better, you would say he looked quite sexy with a concentrated expression like this. He had smooth tan skin, dark brown eyes and the same dark brown hair. Despite having soft round features, his attitude was too aggressive in comparison to his face. If he behaved and talked better, you would say he looked rather cute.
“Take a picture, will you? Make it a poster even, for all I care. I can help you with it if you want, you saw how good I am with graphics,” Haechan said, not looking away from his screen.
Shit, he noticed you staring at him. But you wouldn't allow him to also notice your flushed cheeks. Rolling your eyes with a click of your tongue, you averted your gaze to your own screen. You wouldn’t give Haechan the satisfaction of knowing he made you feel flustered.
A gust of air flew next to you and a whiff of cologne made you turn your head to witness the owner of the scent. Your reaction wasn’t fast enough though; you looked around seeing no unfamiliar face enter the room, everyone was already seated at their desks without even lifting their fingers from the keyboards. Weird.
Haechan cleared his throat and your attention turned to him. Without saying a word, he gestured with his thumb to the desk in front of yours. You stood up from your seat to peek above your computer, only to see the top of a boy’s head.
Sitting back down, you turned to Haechan, expecting him to give you an answer. Luckily, he caught onto it.
“He’s in our team. The guy is a genius,” was all he said which left you even more baffled than before.
Haechan chuckled at your overt confusion. A real, genuine chuckle. “Go on, introduce yourself. You’re new here,” he said and you actually listened to him. You stood up and walked to the boy’s desk, who was already immersed in coding something.
Clearing your throat, you extended your arm for a handshake. “Hi, I’m Y/n, I’m new here at the company. Haechan over here told me we’ll work together,” you said and Haechan gave the boy a finger wave behind the computer screens.
The boy stood up in a flash, returning the handshake. Firm but shaky. Black thin-rimmed glasses framed his face, bangs falling on his forehead. He looked very young. “I’m so sorry about this. My name is Kim Daeyoung, although no one calls me that. Joh- uhm, Mr Suh called me Jaehee by accident one day and then everyone else ran with it. I’m rambling. It’s nice to meet you. I’ll be your coder as far as I’m informed,” the boy you now knew as Jaehee said and you pressed your lips into a grimace that resembled a smile throughout the whole interaction.
“The kid’s a prodigy, our best coder here. You’ll see. Johnny assembled the Avengers of Neo Tech for the development of your game. Don’t know why though, he sees so much potential in you for some reason,” Haechan snickered and you noticed his lips forming a tiny smirk. Did he really have to be so malicious all the time?
“And which Avenger are you supposed to be? Hawkeye?” you snickered.
Haechan rolled his eyes. “More like Iron Man just so you know, Black Widow,” he said.
You gasped at his comment. “On top of being annoying you’re also a misogynist. I should’ve known with the way you’re so scared I’m gonna outshine you with my game. Also, I prefer Scarlet Witch just so you know,” you said.
“Ugh relax, it was a joke. You’re scaring poor Jaehee away,” Haechan defended himself but Jaehee was quick to dismiss him. “No, no, she’s not scaring me away. She’s cool,” he said and you flashed him a thankful smile. This boy was barely 20 years old, how could he land a job at one of the best game developing companies out there and also be a top coder at this age? If anything, you should be the one scared of him.
“Anyway,” you sighed and sat back down at your desk, “it was nice to meet you Jaehee. Let our collaboration go smoothly,” you told him and gave Haechan a side-eye, which was received by, once again, an eye roll and a click of his tongue.
Thankfully, Haechan didn’t bother you for the rest of the day; the two of you worked on different things, keeping a mental distance between you despite sitting next to him. He was focused on coding something, probably a new game he thought of, and you were busy brainstorming ideas that could make your game better. This was your strategy when working. Brainstorm, share the ideas, test these ideas and if they work then you keep them, if not, you revise them. At this stage, you were working on redesigning Nellie’s character. You would make a rough sketch of what you had in mind and then talk about it with your partner from the Creative and Design Team, who you haven’t even met yet.
Packing your things at the end of your shift, you greeted some of your coworkers goodbye, wishing them a good rest of the day. Jaehee invited you for coffee with him and a couple of his friends from the Game Testing Department which you kindly declined, saying you needed to sleep after the long day at work. It wasn’t an excuse actually; you would love to meet and befriend some coworkers, but your social batteries were really running low.
Pressing the elevator button, you tapped your heel on the carpeted floor, waiting for it to arrive at your floor. Soft steps followed after you, stopping right next to you across the elevator doors. The clearing of this person’s throat betrayed his identity.
“Just so you know,” Haechan started, keeping his head hanging low and his eyes fixed on his shoes, “I’m not jealous of you, or afraid of you being a better game creator than me,” he said and you scoffed, clutching the straps of your bag a little tighter.
“But I never got to work with other people before, it was always just me creating and developing my own games. I’m sorry, I promise I’ll start treating you better from now on. I want your game to succeed, we have a whole company’s reputation to preserve,” Haechan said and the elevator doors opened with the signature ‘ding’. He walked inside the elevator but you remained frozen, processing his words. He was a lone wolf, just like you. The main difference, though, was that you were willing to collaborate for a better result. Haechan was used to not asking for help easily.
You didn’t enter the elevator with him. As the doors were closing, you heard Haechan speak to you, just in time for you to hear him. “Good night, Y/n.”
You sighed. He promised to be better from now on.
“Why does your character look like me as a girl?” Haechan blurted out as soon as you showed him the redesign of Nellie.
“No she doesn’t. Don’t be so full of yourself,” you snorted and Haechan’s eyes practically fell out of his face.
“Are you kidding me?” he screeched. “She even has the same mole pattern on her cheek as me!”
“Oh come on now,” you sighed in annoyance, plopping down on your chair. “This design wasn’t completely my idea. Blame Renjun for it”.
And really, it wasn’t the initial design you were going for. A few days after you started redesigning your game character, you scheduled a meeting with the graphic designer of your team, Renjun. You had met him over lunch not too long ago at the company’s cafeteria, and you had briefly discussed your ideas. You greatly trusted his judgement, after you found out how respected he was among all the other graphic designers at the Creative and Design Team; Ten himself hired him because of how talented he was. Maybe Haechan was right, Johnny really assembled the Avengers of this company just to make sure your game development goes according to plan.
So after spending a couple of days over at the Creative and Design Team offices, you and Renjun came up with the final version of Nellie. Vastly different and significantly more high quality than your own initial design, you started seeing some actual potential in your game, the kind of potential that was guaranteed by the eye-catching design on your character. With Renjun on your team, you would slowly start redesigning the whole game aesthetic until it reached the best result possible.
So after finalizing Nellie’s appearance, you came down to your office at the Development & Tech Team Department to show Haechan and Jaehee the character you would be working with. Jaehee’s reaction was wholesome, he kept praising you for thinking about this design and Renjun for bringing it to life in the best way possible. Haechan on the other hand…
He kept seeing himself as a girl in Nellie. Which could be justified because of Nellie’s honey tan skin, her brown eyes and brown wavy pigtails. Sure the moles too. But it was a far-fetched comparison. Why would you want the character of your precious first game to resemble the person you used to idolize but once you met you found out was a jerk? Only an idiot would want that.
But the more you kept looking at Nellie, the more Haechan made sense. She kinda looked like him. Perhaps his annoying ass occupied your subconsciousness more than what you’d like to admit. Great. Now you’re gonna have to think of Haechan every time you talk about your game, your very own creation.
“I swear this wasn’t the intention,” you told Haechan as you ran your hand over your face. “It is purely a coincidence, believe me”.
Haechan was still shocked but significantly calmer than before. “This is ridiculous. I mean, even her name, Nellie, means light, doesn't it? Like my nickname means fullsun, this is identity theft! That Nellie bitch is me!” Haechan yelled.
“You’re so full of yourself, did you know that? And please, you’re taking it too far,” you said, turning to your computer screen.
Haechan paced around the small space around your desks, hands on his waist. “I should’ve known you were one of those crazy fans. Right from the very moment you walked into that job interview. I’m gonna tell Johnny-”
“Johnny has already approved of the design. We’re running with it, there’s no time to make any more changes on that,” you interrupted him and he paused, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.
You sighed and twirled your chair around to face Haechan. “Look, Haechan,” you started, catching his attention. He opened his eyes, keeping his hands on his waist and tapping his foot rhythmically. “I am aware of the similarities between you and the character and I see why you might think she looks like you,” you continued with soft voice speaking slowly, so the words would register well in his, despite his gaming genius, pea-sized brain. “But please believe me, it is simply a funny coincidence. I see your stupid face everyday, and Renjun does too. Maybe we have stored your features in our designing brains and used them from our idea banks. Plus I think you have really pretty features. You know, for a girl,” you said and Haechan stiffened, while you heard Jaehee try to suppress his laughter from the other desk.
“Very funny,” Haechan deadpanned and sat down on his chair. “Next time you have such an incredible idea, you should get my permission first before pitching it to Johnny for approval,” he mumbled, attention fixed on his computer screen.
“Maybe you also need to act like my consultant, you know, my mentor, and help me with the game development like you’re supposed to do, but you seem to forget this role and never ask me about the process of my game,” you countered and Haechan didn’t have any reaction at all.
On your first day at Neo Tech, Haechan promised to treat you nicely and actually try to cooperate in a team; both are things he had never done before. He partially kept his word, greeting you every morning and bringing you a soda on your desk, just how you liked it. This only lasted a couple of days, he probably thought that was enough of treating you decently to get you on his good side. But then, you were mostly working with Renjun at his own office, so you didn’t really see Haechan to have any interaction at all. Today, after this incident, all the progress the two of you had made with each other went back to zero.
You had confronted Haechan about this from the very first day you stepped foot into the company. Johnny had assigned him as your partner and that’s what he was supposed to be. He did everything but act like a partner, he more so tried to dismiss your work and criticize it when he was supposed to be helping you improve. You didn’t buy his confession of him being a lone wolf, you liked the narrative that he just hated people.
You really wanted to paint him as the bad guy but his confession also seemed genuine. He made those video games entirely on his own, completely from scratch. He mentioned making the graphics himself, he definitely designed and coded the entire thing, hell, maybe he even had a say in how the company would market and promote his games. Receiving help from the other departments of the company might have been minimal to zero.
You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was still a little early to form a complete opinion of him. If he didn’t want to collaborate properly, you would make him do it, one way or another. If he enjoyed getting on your nerves this much, you should find a way to get a little laugh out of all these encounters with him too.
Haechan sat down on his chair, huffing. You glanced at him from the side briefly, not bothering to continue the conversation. You would stay focused on your work and nothing else. Interacting with anything around you would be a great distraction and no one wants distractions when they’re working on something big.
“She’s kinda cute though, I have to admit,” Haechan muttered, breaking the silence.
“Hm, what was that?” you asked him, not because you didn’t hear him the first time, but because you wanted him to repeat it.
“I said she’s cute. Nellie. I mean, obviously, she looks like me,” Haechan said with a playful eye-roll, as if he stated the most obvious thing.
You half smiled at him. “Now that’s a better reaction, partner,” you emphasized the last word and he gave you a nod before going back to his computer.
He gave you a compliment. He gave your work a compliment. He finally made a positive comment about something. Maybe you’re breaking him slowly, bit by bit, until he breaks out of his shell and becomes a trusting partner and helpful mentor for his less experienced peers. It would take a long way to go, but he had just taken his first step of improvement.
“Good morning, partner! Not a likely place for you to be,” Haechan chirped beside you, as you were standing in line. Your whole body jolted to the sound of his voice, which was particularly cheerful for this early in the morning.
As winter was approaching and the temperatures outside were dropping, you switched your regular cool fizzy drinks for cups of sweet hot cocoa. The vending machine wasn’t famous for having good quality drinks other than the regular sodas, so the Neo Tech cafeteria was the next best option you had.
“Why are you here?” you wanted to know why Haechan had to approach you first thing in the morning, the only morning you decide to change your routine.
“I saw you coming into the company, I was actually right behind you but you didn’t notice me. Or you pretended you didn’t, I guess I’ll never know,” he said.
“Creep!” you half-whispered with a side eye at Haechan. He rolled his eyes at the remark. “Let me finish!” he pressed.
Narrowing your eyes at him, you gave him a small nod. “Go on,” you urged him.
“Well, as you see, I know you always go straight up to your office, every single day. That’s what you do. But today, you stopped at the cafeteria floor. I saw where the elevator stopped. I wasn’t fast enough to get it with you, so when I went to press the call button, I noticed it,” Haechan explained.
You took half a step away from him. “You’re suspicious, you know that? You tried to explain but you sound like a weirdo,” you nudged him.
The line moved and you walked forward towards the counter. “You changed your routine, I had to see what you were up to. I always buy you a soda in the morning, that’s part of my routine too. So, you changing your routine changes my routine,” Haechan defended himself.
“You’re a stalker,” you deadpanned.
“I’m observant,” Haechan countered.
“Fine,” you ended the conversation, averting your gaze to the cashier ringing an employee up before handing him his coffee cup.
“Look, I’m making an effort here. I told you, I’m not used to this. I always worked alone. Me and my computer. I want to develop a relationship with you but I have to do it within the context of work. And I can’t work with others. I don’t like it. But I’m trying. So please, don’t be mean to me. I know we didn’t start on the best terms and it is my fault, but I want to change that. I know you admire my work and instead of being a figure to look up to, I decided to act all entitled. I’m sorry,” Haechan bombarded you with all this information and glanced at him.
“It’s still so early, please, those were too many things for me to process,” you told him and he lifted his arms up in surrender, muttering a soft ‘sorry’.
Walking up to the cash register, you placed your order to the cashier and took your card out to pay for your drink. Haechan shoved your arm to the side right before you placed your card on top of the POS machine. He was quick enough to place his card instead, paying for your drink.
As you waited for the barista to make your hot cocoa, you looked at Haechan and offered him a small smile. “Thanks, but you didn’t have to”.
Haechan shrugged. “We shouldn’t deviate much from the routine, right?” he smirked, giving you a playful glance with his chocolate brown eyes. Looking at him, you noticed how cute he looked at the moment, like a little teddy bear.
You took a moment to really look at him. You had noticed his features before, but he was wearing that particularly sweet expression you always seemed to like in boys. It was like he was drinking you all up, not in a hungry, lustful way, but in a precious, charming way. Oh shit.
“So,” you sighed, breaking eye contact, “you want to develop a relationship with me?” you flirted your nervousness away, continuing your previous conversation. Although it was probably a very bad move. Catching feelings for a coworker should be the least of your concerns. You were here for your career, not for romance.
Haechan scoffed at your question. “You know what I mean,” he trailed off, keeping his head low to hide his smile. The cashier handed you your drink and you quickly thanked him, turning to the elevator with Haechan tailing right behind you like a lost puppy.
“Don’t you want anything to eat or drink?” you asked him, looking back at him. He caught up with you, walking right beside you. “No, I’m fine,” he said and called the elevator.
After a few seconds, the elevator doors open and you both enter. Haechan pressed the button to your floor and stood next to you, shifting in his feet. You noticed his nervousness and you couldn’t help but pry a little.
“I don’t bite, you know. Why are you fidgeting? If anything, I should be the fidgety one. You actually look like you bite. No offence,” you told him.
Haechan put his hands inside the pockets of his pants. “Actually I…” he started and the elevator dinged, doors sliding open. You step out, heading to your offices. “Yeah?” you urged him.
As you were walking to your desks, Haechan spoke to you through the keyboard clicking sounds. “I kinda have- I want- I have an idea. F-For your game. I want to suggest something,” he said and you stopped at your track, thankful that you didn’t drop your drink on the carpeted floor.
Shaking your head, you placed the drink and your bag on your desk, before looking at Haechan, who had quietly sat on his desk, turning on his computer.
“I’m sorry, what? What was that?” you asked.
Haechan saw your profound confusion. “I told you I wanna help, I’m gonna try to, at least. I mean, that’s what I should do anyway…” he trailed off again, twiddling his thumbs.
“I can’t believe this!” you cheered. Jaehee walked past you, nodding as a greeting before setting his own things at his desk. “Jaehee, do you hear this? Haechan has an idea to suggest. For my game!” you filled him in with the newly shared information.
Jaehee rolled his eyes. “Finally! It’s been so boring working on my own without sharing a single word with you guys. We should act like a team, like we’re supposed to be,” he said, putting on his glasses.
Haechan locked eyes with you again, holding eye contact with you for the second time within an hour, giving you the same teddy bear eyes and a grimace that seemed like a smile. “Exactly. It took me some time to realize it but fuck it. We are a team,” he said.
You held eye contact with him again. Haechan’s skin glimmered under the artificial lighting of the office and his eyes shined as the light from the computer screen reflected on them. His bangs were falling on his forehead, and you really got the urge to fluff his hair just to tease him. Oh no.
Sighing, you stored all your probable surfacing feelings about Haechan to the back of your mind. You were slowly getting to him. All your nagging and complaining about his behavior must have altered something in his brain and he snapped into reason. He finally decided to act like the genius he is. That’s probably why you thought you liked him, right? It was a defense, a response to a man being reasonable for once. You shook every thought away and managed to form a smile, as genuine as you could, before shooting Haechan with a question. “So tell us, partner, what is your idea?”
“This game is fucking sick!” Chenle exclaimed, swinging Nellie’s sword to slash the neck of a furry ogre. The ogre’s blood, blue with silver glitter, splashed all over itself before the monster disappeared into thin air. Chenle moved Nellie with his console to hide behind a bush, originally green but due to the dim lighting of the night it appeared dark purple. Switching the sword for a bow and arrow, he aimed at a flying dragon approaching Nellie.
“See, that looks way better. If we used your initial plan of coloring the monster blood red it would be way too violent. It’s cooler if they bleed a glittery substance,” Haechan commented.
“You’re right. Although at first I thought you suggested it because you wanted to make it more “girly”. But it does look pretty cool,” you replied to him and caught Haechan grinning at your compliment towards him.
“BOOM!” Chenle screamed as he hit the dragon with the bow, the mythical creature exploding in a purple mist. “I know your demographic for this game is teenage girls but holy shit! I’m having way too much of a good time now. I really have the dream job,” Chenle quipped.
“Chenle, don’t get too excited, you always act like this. You’re a beta tester, you’re supposed to write a detailed report after the first game trial to give us feedback on what things we need to improve,” you reminded the boy and he scowled.
Chenle was the last member added to your team; the beta tester, the person who posed as the target audience, the possible future player of the games. You had met him before, when you gave him the opening stage of the game and the next story-driven scenes to review. Today he was assigned to test the first battle stage. You didn’t know if it was good or not, but so far Chenle has not written a single bad review about the game. Not even the slightest feedback for improvement. For other people, this would be a total miracle. For you, it felt quite off. You can’t have done everything right, something must need improvement.
Maybe it’s because Haechan finally started getting involved in creating the game. He made great effort in talking with you in order to establish a relationship beyond the coworker status. He actually didn’t enjoy being your mentor and you being his intern, so he tried his best to befriend you in a way and make Johnny and the Development & Tech Team Department see the two of you as equals.
You weren’t gonna lie, but you liked the idea of Haechan becoming your friend. You had completely gotten over your fangirl phase when you were met with his selfish and judging self. After that, you were just neutral towards him. You confronted him about his behavior and, even though you didn’t believe his words at first, he started showing you with his actions how much effort he was putting into doing himself credit. Perhaps, he did see you as a thread initially, no matter how much he denies it. Not as a threat to his fame or talent, but as a threat to his individuality. You preferred it so much more being on good terms with him rather than wanting to avoid him in the company corridors.
“I think I made the first battle stage quite manageable to play. It might be a little challenging for beginner players, but I hope they don’t get discouraged from continuing playing the game if they get stuck here,” Jaehee made an observation.
“I think the graphics will make them stay. I mean, look at it. It’s a battlefield but it looks so pretty,” Renjun added, alluding to his touch in the magical essence of the design.
“Suck my ass, creepy bird!” Chenle shouted, shooting a mutant eagle with his last arrow.
“Hey, language,” Haechan deadpanned but Chenle dismissed him with a wave of his hand.
You didn’t realise how close to you Haechan was now standing until he spoke. His breath fanned the nape of your neck and the scent of his cologne entered your nostrils, a mix of sandalwood and freshness. Has he always smelled that good?
Your heart flattered at the proximity of his body to yours, and you shivered when you actually grasped how close to you he really was.
“Why are you standing so close to me?” you asked him, trying to sound slightly annoyed. Although, you kinda liked the smell of him.
“I wanna see Chenle play the game. If I stand back, I won’t be able to see the screen,” he countered.
“Hello? Personal space? Go stand somewhere else,” you rolled your eyes and he tilted his head back with a click of his tongue, his neck in full exposure, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed.
“See, I can’t stand behind Jaehee because he’s too tall. And Renjun will kill me if I go near him. So I’ve run out of options,” he explained.
“I will kill you too if you don’t move,” you tried to threaten him, but Haechan gave you a smug smile.
“You would never do that, honey. You and I both know that,” he said and focused back on the computer screen to see Chenle finish off the battle.
He called you honey. It was ironic, certainly, but why did the pet name make your breath catch in your throat? Why did he even say that? Despite getting closer to him, Haechan became more and more mysterious day by day.
The pet name caught you off guard, but deep inside your brain there was a small part that liked it.
“Wait, that’s it? Damn, I cleared those bastards so bad,” Chenle sighed, leaning back into his gaming chair.
Haechan and Renjun now both seemed annoyed at Chenle’s vulgar language, but you beat them before they started to scold the boy. Jaehee just laughed at their reactions. “That was the first battle, we haven’t continued on from here. The next few scenes are gonna be story-driven with riddles, and we need to incorporate more of the interactive aspect by giving Nellie, well, the player, the power of making a decision,” you said and everyone in the room nodded.
“You got it, boss,” Jaehee saluted you and you giggled.
“We can leave Chenle now to write his review while we go back to our office to brainstorm the next stages,” you suggested and they nodded again.
“Alright, I have another project to work on now. When you’re done, come over to me to discuss the designs,” Renjun said before leaving, greeting him goodbye.
“Okay, let’s get going then,” Haechan said, folding his arms. “Chenle, we’ll be waiting for your review. An actual one,” he pressed but Chenle was ignorant to Haechan’s reprimand.
You waved Chenle goodbye and you left the room with Haechan and Jaehee, heading back to your office. Walking with Haechan side by side and Jaehee way ahead of both of you, you decided to take the stairs two floors down to your office.
“So the first battle trial was a success!” you breathed out. “I can’t believe we’re one step closer to completing the game. I mean, we still have a long way to go, but the game doesn’t need any changes up to this point. And it’s thanks to you, honestly, ever since you got involved we’ve had great progress. So now I’m thinking we should discuss the plot a little bit, we need the story to make sense. Or, we can talk about the armory and weapon upgrades. As the battles progress, Nellie needs to become stronger in order to be able to beat the stronger monst- I’m sorry, are you even listening?” you stopped your rambling to address Haechan who seemed absentminded.
You stopped right outside the office door. You looked at Haechan who was looking right back at you, no thoughts in his brain and no emotion behind his eyes. His gaze was drilling you, his lips tugging into a grimace. “Are you okay? Do I have food on my teeth or something?” you asked him frustrated.
“What? Sorry, I-I was a little distracted,” he stammered and you gave him a death glare. “And no, your teeth are fine,” he added. Was he looking at you? Is that why he seemed so off?
Sighing, you placed your hand on the doorknob. “Stay focused, Haechan. We have a video game to make,” you warned him, opening the door. You couldn’t afford catching feelings for Haechan now, but you can’t get his stupid face and his blank chocolate eyes staring at you out of your head.
“You can always count on me, partner. You’re welcome,” he said.
It took you a few seconds to realize he was referring to you thanking him earlier for his contribution. So he was listening, he just chose to mess with you. And it was working.
Shaking the image of him looking at you with that dumb expression, you tried your hardest to focus on your work. And now you were starting to think that urging Haechan to become involved with you wasn’t your brightest idea.
“We need to release the game now. It needs to be done within the next two months. The sooner the better,” Johnny deadpanned.
You stilled in your seat. He couldn’t possibly be serious.
When Johnny called you to his office to discuss the progress of your game, the last thing you expected was for him to shorten the deadline to two months.
“But our contract says we have until the end of the year to put it out. We’re not even halfway done yet! How is it gonna be finished in just two months? And, honestly, why?” your frustration was evident in the tone of your voice, but Johnny tried to remain as composed as he could.
“My biggest competitor is releasing a game in two months and we need to draw attention from it. The Marketing Team is already working on how to promote Username:Nellie. The first promotional poster is scheduled to be released next week,” Johnny explained.
You huffed, leaning back in your seat. You felt defeated. It was like all the time you spent and all the effort you gave went in vain. Your team wouldn’t like the sound of a ridiculously shortened deadline. This was the universe speaking to you, telling you that no matter what you do, you will never be able to have a career in this field.
“I don’t understand…” you trailed off after taking a few seconds to think. “Why? Why of all games did they have to target mine? The developing process was going so smoothly, we had planned almost everything out and we were scheduled for an October release. It would give the Marketing Team enough time to promote the game as the perfect Christmas gift, then sales would skyrocket,” you thought out loud and Johnny shrugged.
“Let’s pretend that Christmas came sooner,” he said.
“But I can’t! Do you want me to deliver you a rushed game? Doesn’t sound like a good marketing move to me,” your frustration was growing and it became evident in your face and tone of voice, but Johnny’s temper was now rather short.
“Listen, kid. I know you’re mad but that’s business, baby! I’m not happy either but we have to do this! I have gathered the most talented people of each field to come work with you in a team, that’s a huge investment right here. So this is up to you, we either drop the release of the game entirely and you go back to working independently, or you gather with your team and make a fucking great video game,” Johnny glared at you and you took a deep breath in thought.
Your first time coming into Neo Tech flashed right behind your eyes. You were again met with a decision you needed to make, just like when Johnny gave you the options and the possible outcomes of your collaboration. The imaginary two flashing boxes on either side of Johnny’s face were screaming at you, the timer ticking inside your brain. You couldn’t let the system make a default decision. You had to think and make up your mind quickly.
Johnny was tapping his fingers on his desk. You guessed time was running out. He had faith in you. He trusted you enough to invest in your video game and make or break his company's reputation with it. You were in no position to let him down now.
You wanted to release your game, no matter what.
Letting out a big sigh, you straightened up. “Alright then,” the certainty in your voice had Johnny’s attention. “Tell the Creative and Design Team to do their best with the promotional poster. We have a video game to make,” you said and Johnny smiled, nodding.
“I was hoping you would say that,” he said.
Gulping, you thought about your team. They definitely weren’t gonna like this.
“You’re fucking kidding me,” Haechan blurted out with a completely expressionless face. Jaehee’s eyes widened so much to the point they reached the rim of his glasses. Renjun shook his head in denial and Chenle had a complete crashout.
“Two months?” he screeched. It was totally understandable.
“That was my honest reaction too. Apparently we need to compete with Johnny’s nemesis and we have to do it quickly,” you explained and recalled your conversation with Johnny, telling them all the details.
You had kindly asked your team to meet you for lunch at the cafeteria, saying that you had something very important to tell them. When they were making scenarios in their heads about what that could be, they probably didn’t even try to think about something like that.
“But that’s so little time. We’ve been only working on this game for three months, we can’t possibly be finished in 60 more days,” Renjun reasoned.
You nodded. “I know, but Johnny said-”
“I’m about to beat down that motherfucker,” Haechan got up from his seat but you pulled him back down, tugging at his shirt. He tried to yank your hand away but you kept your hold onto him, keeping him down on his seat. “Sit back down, you’re not beating up anyone. We have to think of a strategy,” you scolded him and he scoffed, resting his elbows on the table, head hanging low.
“Who does he think he is? He wants us to work 24/7 just so his greedy ass can get as much money as he can by exploiting our work and our ideas? We had planned everything for Christmas for God’s sake! This is ridiculous,” Haechan whined and this time when he got up, you let him go away. He needed time to think, this wasn’t easy news to take in.
The conversation paused, all of you watching Haechan leaving the cafeteria. Chenle picked up the conversation again, with a hesitant voice. “I think Y/n is right, we need a strategy. And I know I shouldn’t complain too much because my job is the easiest out of all around here but I believe in you guys. I believe in us. I won’t like seeing you spending days and nights working but it’s gonna be over soon. In two months, we’ll have our game out,” he said and everyone nodded.
Chenle was right. In the midst of chaos, you failed to think properly. It would be two very hard months for all of you, but that would be it. The satisfaction of seeing your work being released to the public and receiving, hopefully, the love it deserved filled you with so much happiness already. You didn’t want to do it for yourself, or for Johnny. You wanted to do it for the team. For all the effort each and every one of you put there.
“Let’s not waste any time, right? I’m finished with lunch, so I’m heading back to finish coding the stage I’m working on. We can do this guys,” Jaehee said with a smile, urging you all to go back to work.
“Good luck with everything, guys. We’re going to need it,” Renjun patted everyone on the back, receiving smiles and side hugs by all of you.
“Yes, of course, go back to your offices guys. Jaehee, I’ll meet you there in a little. I need to go find Haechan and get his ass to help us,” you explained and they nodded, turning their heels to leave.
As the boys were walking out, Jaehee grabbed your shoulder gently. “Please go talk to Haechan. You’re the only one he listens to. I don’t know what makes him afraid of you but he hasn’t been this friendly and cooperative around here until you joined our team. So please, for the sake of us all,” he spoke very softly so that no one else could hear. You pressed your lips into a thin line and he squeezed your shoulder.
Haechan was scared of you? That was new.
“I didn’t know you were smoking,” you said, sliding the glass door to the terrace shut behind you.
Haechan whipped his head to the sound of your voice, tapping his cigarette with his finger to shake off the excess ashes.
“Among other things,” he said, turning his head to gaze at the cityscape stretching below him, bringing the cigarette to his lips.
You walked next to him, resting your elbows on the glass railing. You squinted your eyes at the sun hitting your face. Despite the crispiness of the air, the sun was still rising at this time at noon.
“How did you find me? This is a secret area,” Haechan asked, blowing the smoke out.
“I asked around,” you hummed and he shook his head, smirking.
“Chenle can’t keep his mouth shut, can he?” Haechan stated and you giggled.
“I have to admit, I didn’t think of going to him to ask about you. I sent him to his office so that I could come look for you and that little bitch didn’t say anything. I had to go look for him and when I found him he said ‘Oh, I thought you would never ask me!’” you said and Haechan laughed, putting out his cigarette with the heel of his boot.
“Johnny always does this. He starts talking to you about all the great things he will help you accomplish and all the opportunities you will have in the future and a ton of other bullshit only to exploit you in the end. He sees us as puppets, when things get rough for him and he wants to protect his reputation, he uses our games as cover. This time, a rival company is releasing a game. He can’t let them have the spotlight. He wants to draw all of the attention on him, by making something even better. This is how the company stays relevant and it has the reputation it has,” Haechan muttered.
“I don’t wanna finish the game for Johnny. We are a team, Haechan, we have worked so hard up to this point. You started getting involved and we have such a cool project in our hands so far, so don’t let Johnny ruin it. He set an extreme deadline for sure, but we have to deal with it. It’s because we want to, not because we have to,” you tried to reason with him.
“Did you know the main villain in the USS:Chiller franchise is inspired by Johnny? I needed a way to fight him so badly I had to do it virtually, otherwise I would be dead by now,” Haechan gritted his teeth in annoyance, but his features were too soft to express such a deep level of anger, his expression almost made him look constipated. You hated yourself for thinking that.
You giggled. “That’s quite a creative way to express your feelings. Do you want us to add a Johnny-inspired monster in Username:Nellie?” you asked him.
“Hell yeah,” Haechan breathed out, his face beaming. “That bastard has ‘final boss’ energy all over him. We have to make that battle 1v1, it has to be the hardest stage to beat,” Haechan said with determination. He wanted to assert dominance so much, but all you saw in your eyes was a cute boy talking enthusiastically about video games.
You laughed with him, seeing him being so passionately hateful towards someone. He had every reason to be angry with Johnny, though. The expectations he had of you and the team were too high for you to meet, but you couldn’t risk the fate of your game and your career. No matter how many obstacles you had to face, you needed to make sure that the ending of this whole thing would be the same, no matter what; you got to release your game. You came to this company with a purpose, and you had to fulfil it.
Haechan kept on describing ways he would destroy the made-up Johnny monster if we were to actually use it as a battle stage in Username:Nellie. It was times like this where you were reminded of why you admired him so much in the first place. He was passionate about his work and incredibly creative.
Catching your breath in the midst of your laughter, you asked Haechan a question. “If you really want us to add the monster version of Johnny, I can go tell Renjun about it and he’ll come up with the perfect representation. But is this really how you deal with people or situations? You transform them into games or characters you want to beat to death?”
Haechan sighed, leaning his elbows on the railing. He turned his head just enough to catch your eye. “We are the characters in our own game, honey. We are the ones who decide what to do with the things we face, good or bad,” he said, turning his head to the buzzing city below.
You remained silent. You had nothing smart or witty enough to respond to that. He was right. You were the player of your own game. Sure, life brings stuff along your way, but these are just the challenges you have to clear out. Some quests here and there to keep you on your toes, to remind you that you have the ability to face any difficulty that comes your way. The darkest moments are always rewarded with the brightest days.
Haechan leaned back, turning his full body towards you. Searching for your eyes, he spoke loudly. “Okay, I’m gonna do it. We’ll finish the game and we’ll guarantee that you have a major breakthrough in your career,” he smiled.
Your entire face beamed and you screeched in happiness, clasping your hands together. “You are truly amazing, Haechan,” your eyes glimmered with joy and your smile was so wide your face started to hurt. You had the extreme urge to open your arms and throw yourself at him to squeeze him into a tight hug, but you knew better to restrain yourself from doing an action that could possibly humiliate you and cast a veil of awkwardness between you.
Haechan dismissed your comment with a wave of his hand, his head hanging low to hide the smirk creeping up his face. “No, you’re amazing, Y/n. I know I was hard on you at first and saw no potential in your game but you were right all along. This game needs to be released to the public. You deserve to see how much people will love it. And I’m gonna help, for real. I’m doing all of this only for you,” his face grew a serious expression, his eyes locked with yours. Haechan’s gaze held such sincerity behind it, and his words sounded so genuine when spoken in a warm tone. He truly meant what he just said.
You deserve this. I’m doing it only for you.
You cleared your throat, looking at your shoes. Holding eye contact with Haechan became harder and harder each passing day, especially when he said praising words about you. Your heart was beating quite fast and your body was feeling hot despite the chilly breeze.
“So, we should probably head back inside to start working. It’s got quite cold too,” you said and made a move to slide the door open behind you. Reaching for the door, Haechan beat you to it, his hand resting on top of yours to slide the door. You froze, unable to look at him. His hand felt soft and warm on top of your dry cold one, and it was big enough to cover yours completely.
You mumbled a small ‘thanks’ and quickly stepped inside the building with trembling legs. You didn’t wait for Haechan to come in, instead you walked straight to the elevator so you could gain some time away from him. That was enough proximity with Haechan for today, and you had to be with him back to your office for a few more hours before you got to go home. You hoped that with the strict deadline you had to follow now, your mind would be too occupied with work to have time or room to think about Haechan.
Just as you eased your breathing for a bit, his soft voice echoed in the small empty hallway. “Tonight, you and me, my place. We will plan out the entire game, we show it to the guys tomorrow first thing in the morning and we start working. No breaks,” he announced and you widened your eyes.
Haechan stood beside you now. You opened your mouth to protest, but he held up his hand to shush you. “No excuses, I’ll text you my address later,” he said, entering the elevator.
There was no escaping him, was it?
“You’re on time. Annoyingly so,” Haechan narrowed his eyes at you, stepping aside to grant you some space to enter his apartment.
“I want us to finish as soon as possible. I’m already tired after everything today,” you said and Haechan closed the door behind you.
Haechan asked you to meet him at his apartment two hours after you finished work. It gave you enough time to have a shower and freshen yourself up, eat an early dinner and mentally prepare yourself for spending the next God-knows-how-many hours trapped inside four walls with just Haechan.
It was easy to find his apartment location, only a 20-minute walk from the Neo Tech building. Walking around his living room, the only source of lighting came from a lava lamp standing beside his balcony window, which allowed the street lights of the city to illuminate the dark room too. His apartment was a typical gamer’s mancave; his computer setup took up half the living room, while the rest of the space was filled with two small black couches placed across from each other with a short coffee table between them. Decoration was very minimal, and it was so evident that Haechan had cleared up the mess of this place just before you arrived by how all of his laundry was piling up on his gaming chair and the empty pizza boxes he forgot to throw away were hidden behind the kitchen counter.
“Please, sit over there. I have already brought my laptop and a notebook to get us started. Do you want anything to drink? I made some tea earlier,” Haechan motioned you towards one of the couches and you dragged your feet immediately. “Tea sounds great, thanks,” you said, sitting on the empty couch. You realized the one with the laptop on it must be Haechan’s spot.
Haechan roamed around the small kitchen area, grabbing two mugs from a top cabinet, placing them on the countertop. From your position, you had a perfect view of his back, watching his every move. He had apparently showered too, his bangs still a little damp falling on his forehead. He had switched his regular business casual attire for a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, and it would be a lie not to admit that he looked extremely cuddly like this. You watched him as he put two teabags inside the cups, and you licked your lips instinctively when he lifted the kettle to fill the mugs with the boiled water, his forearms flexing due to the weight of the kettle. You were not going to survive this night.
Haechan turned around holding both mugs and dragged his feet to come sit across from you on the other couch. You shifted your attention to his gaming setup instead to cover the fact that you were thirsting over him just seconds ago.
Haechan sat down, placing the mugs on the table. You thanked him and yanked the mug out of his hand just as he set it down. You took a large sip of tea, ignoring the hotness of the liquid on your tongue. This was awkward.
“What were you looking at, honey,” his question was so innocent, but the use of that damn nickname and the evil smirk adorning his face gave away his intentions.
You set down the mug. “You have an impressive setup over there. A true gamer, indeed,” you said with a nod, and Haechan’s smirk grew, his eyes holding something sinister. He wanted to push you further, but he chose not to do it so early on. He leaned back instead, glancing at his setup. “Oh that, I bought it after my first paycheck. I had just released USS Chiller,” he explained and you hummed.
A few deafening silent seconds passed, with the two of you looking at anywhere but each other. You ran out of small talk topics, but you didn’t want to be the one to initiate the conversation about work. Hopefully Haechan would get the clue and start instead.
“So, should we start?” Haechan said, lifting open his laptop screen, the bright light hitting his face, giving him a ghostly appearance. That man was a mind reader.
Taking out your notebook from your bag, you flipped over to the pages you filled earlier today. You gave Haechan a brief review of what you had decided on so far. “So, Renjun will work on all the graphics. The settings, the weapons, the armory, the monsters, everything is up to him. We’re giving him all the creative freedom he wants, he knows what he’s doing. So we don’t need to worry about that,” Haechan hummed in agreement.
Flipping the page, you continued. “Then Jaehee will work on the development of the battle scenes, and he suggested that we add different difficulty levels to the gameplay. So the player will have the option to choose among easy, medium and hard depending on their skills. The storyline will be the same, but the battles and quests will be adapted to the skill level the player chooses. Now I don’t know how he’s going to do all of that on his own but he’s the genius here, not me,” Haechan giggled at that and agreed. Jaehee was indeed a mastermind.
“And Chenle, well, he can’t do much other than test the demos we give him. His feedback will be very useful once we start giving him stuff to review, so right now he doesn’t have anything assigned to do. He did ask, though, what the reason behind the name choice of the game was. To be honest, I didn’t think much of it when I decided on it, but Chenle made my gears shift a little with his question,” you noted and Haechan remained quiet.
“So that leaves me and you. We are in charge of finishing the storyline and code all the story-driven scenes. We have to keep in mind the interactive aspect, so we need to see where we could add the player’s decision and figure out the outcome of each choice. Keep in mind that the ending is the same,” you reminded Haechan.
You closed your notebook shut, pressing your lips together. Haechan hadn’t uttered a word, too busy looking at something on his computer screen.
“A penny for your thoughts?” you were hesitant to talk to Haechan. He seemed too immersed into whatever it was he was looking at, you were afraid of distracting him.
Haechan set his laptop aside, leaning in to rest his elbows on his knees, locking eyes with you. He seemed intimidating under the eerie atmosphere casted around the living space and his face carried a challenging aura about it. “So if your gears shifted, tell me, what is the reason for choosing Username:Nellie as the name of your game?” he asked you.
Opening and closing your mouth, you tried to form a cohesive answer. You hadn’t thought about it, even after Chenle brought it to your attention. You shifted in your seat. “Well, it sounds fun, intriguing, it’s eye-catching and easy to remember,” you tried to reason but Haechan smirked.
“What?” you raised your eyebrow but Haechan didn’t say anything. Instead, he reached into the pocket of his sweatpants and took out something that looked like a piece of paper. He placed it onto the table between your mugs and leaned back into his seat.
Squinting your eyes, you took a closer look at the table to see what the mystery thing was. You took it in your hand, inspecting it as much as you could in the dim lit room. Upon touching, it didn’t feel much like paper but more like a gelatin sheet. Fuck.
You dropped it on the table again, heartbeat racing. “Are you seriously passing me LSD? You’re insane,” you grabbed your bag with trembling hands and made a move to leave.
Haechan had quick reflexes, catching your wrist to stop you. Looking up at you with his pleading chocolate eyes, your breath caught in your throat. “I’m not gonna hurt you Y/n, please trust me on that. I would never want to do that,” he said.
You didn’t say anything. Your silence prompted Haechan to lick his lips before speaking. “I use it all the time. I’m not trying to drug you, this is literally how I get all these cool ideas for my games. It’s a stimulant for my creativity,” he explained.
You scrunched your nose and knitted your eyebrows, Haechan’s hand still wrapped around your wrist. “What are you even talking about? You’re a regular user?”
“No-Yes-Well, not exactly,” Haechan stood up, letting go of your hand. “Working at Neo Tech has always been very stressful. I told you about all of it, how Johnny acts and treats his employees, the deadlines, the constant pressure to make something greater than the others,” he paused to take a breath. He stood too close to you, a little too close for your liking. His skin looked so smooth, you wanted to just stretch your arm and feel it yourself.
“So I have a friend who knows about this stuff. It’s totally safe to take it, as long as you stay inside. I don’t use it regularly, only under times of extreme stress, when I have to think of something no one ever thought of before. How do you think I came up with the USS Chiller franchise?” Haechan explained further and your features softened.
“So now, we are in an extremely stressful situation. We need to think quickly and innovatively. I don’t wanna take advantage of you or anything. Sorry I scared you, I gave you the wrong idea,” Haechan spoke in almost a whisper, as if he shared his most sacred secret with you and the walls had ears.
“But how can you think clearly if you’re stoned?” you asked confused.
Haechan smiled. “It’s a stimulant, honey. It helps you see things and think of things you would never see or think when sober. It gives you clarity, you just become more aware of things and get a different perspective,” he said.
“You sound like a dealer,” you deadpanned and Haechan threw his head back in laughter.
“I swear I’m not,” he said in between giggles. “Now, do you trust me? We’re gonna make something great,” he said, pleading you with his sparkly brown eyes.
With a lot of hesitation, you nodded and walked with slow steps back to the couch. “That’s my girl,” Haechan said, sitting down as well. Your stomach turned. If he kept on calling you things like this, you wouldn’t need drugs to become all trippy and delusional.
Cutting a piece off the gelatin sheet, Haechan passed it towards you. You picked it up and inspected it under the city lights reflecting in the window. It’s just a piece of paper, what could possibly go so wrong?
You saw Haechan place the little piece on his tongue, washing it down his throat with a sip from his tea. Swallowing, he let out a grunt. “And now we wait,” he said.
You brought the gelatin to your tongue with a trembling hand, mimicking the way Haechan did it. Grabbing your mug, you gulped down all of your tea, the liquid feeling lukewarm now in your mouth. You then set it down again, clasping your hands together on top of your thighs.
“That was it?” you asked, not feeling any effects yet.
Haechan shook his head. “It usually takes a few minutes before you feel it. No matter what happens, you know I’m here. I’m used to it, so I know how to snap out of it if needed. You, however, use it for the first time. So the effects might be a little stronger for you,” he said. Well, what was done was done now.
Haechan shifted again, grabbing his notebook and pen. “About the name,’ he started, “you have specifically used the word ‘username’. To me it seems like you need a username to crack a code, to enter the game or something. And then the name ‘Nellie’, which means light, like, she’s the light to something, an insight, an answer.”
You listened carefully. Haechan noted down in key words his train of thought. You squinted your eyes in thought for a while. “It could be explained as something like this: Nellie is not real, obviously, but she is a cyborg. An identity only existing online. So the player enters her world through her, she is the username with which we can have access to the world she discovers at the end. That’s why we have the choice to make decisions. The player is her consciousness!” you exclaimed when everything hit you.
“Wow, slow down there, little genius. See, the answer was always hidden within you. We can have this be explained in the end or leave clues for the player to find out themselves,” Haechan kept notes of your theory in his notebook.
You laughed, eyes beaming. “Of course I had it in me. Or is it the LSD kicking?” you asked, tilting your head.
Haechan sighed. “I don’t know. But what I know is that the letters in front of me just became 3-dimensional and this pen wasn’t that heavy a few seconds ago,” he mumbled.
“Hey Haechan, why is the room purple?” you wondered. Haechan dropped the pen and notebook, arms falling numb around him, his head lolling back. “Because we’re entering full bliss, honey,” he said with a rasp in his voice.
Your eyes roamed around the previously dark room, which now was coloured neon purple. Haechan gasped. “I see it too! You’re purple! And there’s pink all around you!” he looked like an overly excited kid seeing his new toys. You felt slightly dizzy, and when you blinked again the tea mugs on the table started levitating.
“Haechan look at that! The mugs are floating!” you laughed. Haechan tried to lift his head but he couldn’t. “Cant do that, honey. My head feels so heavy. Come lift it for me?” he whined and you rolled your eyes, which was a bad move because it triggered a soft headache.
You got up, your legs feeling wobbly. You tried to walk but the room was all purple, the walls were spinning very slowly and the table became afloat too. “I’ll try,” you said and Haechan smirked.
“Is it the effect of the LSD or do you just look really good in this lighting?” Haechan muttered and you stilled. He made a great effort to lift his arms, inviting you into an embrace. “Come here, I wanna take a closer look at you,” he said.
Your feet seemed to have a brain of their own, as you started walking towards where Haechan was supposed to be sitting. “Wait, wait, are you coming? I see you walking away from me,” he muttered. You shook your head. Bad move again. “I am, stay where you are,” you said.
After a lot of effort, your foot touched the couch with a thud, forcing a cry of pain out of you. “Be careful, honey,” Haechan smiled. “Our senses are stimulated a lot right now,” he said.
You sighed. Holding onto the back of the couch, you tried to climb up, lifting your leg to sit right on top of Haechan’s lap. Your thighs were wrapped around his waist, and he let out a soft growl at your touch, closing his eyes. “You look so far away from me right now but I can definitely feel you on me,” he whispered.
The truth is, your sense of touch was extremely sensitive too right now. You moved your hands to feel Haechan’s arms, fingers running up and down his skin. He felt a lot smoother than you thought, and you sighed in euphoria.
“Come closer to me, please. I wanna feel you more,” Haechan opened his eyes, lips falling heavy on his droopy expression. Your hands followed along the lines of his arms, finding his fingers. Wrapping your fingers around his wrists, you lifted his arms to bring them around your waist, dropping them on the side of your hips. Haechan closed his eyes again and smirked. “You feel so warm,” he noted.
Looking at him in the purple and pink hues around him, his hair and skin looked darker than usual. His eyes were heavy and locked into your weary ones, his plump bottom lip falling open, he looked like a doll.
You instinctively wrapped your hands around his neck, Haechan’s pulse loud and fast. You blinked, trying to shake away the image of him looking hot and numb under your touch. Opening your eyes, he was still there, looking at what seemed like to be your lips. Curiosity got the best of you, and you closed the gap between you to get a taste of his plumpy lips.
Haechan’s sense of space was distorted, but he tried very hard to move his lips in sync with yours. He couldn’t move his arms, but he squeezed the flesh of your waist right where you had put his hands earlier. Your fingers grazed the hair on the nape of his neck and he growled inside your mouth, your thighs wrapping tighter around his core.
You couldn’t tell how long you stayed like this. The drug’s influence was strong on you, the whole room was coloured in hues of purple, pink and orange, the furniture were floating and your sense of touch was highly stimulated. Haechan wasn’t that immune to the trippiness either, feeling his body heavy, losing sense of space. And apparently his emotions were out of the line too, not correlating with his brain.
“I never realized how much I wanted this Y/n,” he said in between kisses. He dragged his lips down to your chin until he reached the side of your neck. “I probably like you a lot when I’m sober,” he confessed and you froze, suddenly gaining clarity.
You tried to wiggle your way out of his hold, but a subtle sucking of your skin behind your ear had you gasping, the words taken away from your mouth. You blinked and the colored haze started flickering, your head throbbing in a piercing pain. Your body felt weak and numb, and your eyelids couldn't stay open for too long.
“H-Haechan,” you tried to warn him of your vulnerable state, but you weren’t fast enough in doing so. Your eyes were fully closed and your grip on Haechan’s hair softened. The next thing you knew, everything turned from color to total blackness.
“What time is it?” your sleepy voice echoed in the completely silent room. Haechan turned around from his gaming chair, removing his headphones and leaving them on the desk. The bright light of his computer screen washed his features out, but the yellow lava lamp brought back the warmth in him.
“Go back to sleep, I called Johnny and told him we’re sick today,” he whispered but his voice rang inside your head. You sat up, realizing you were still at Haechan’s apartment, currently lying on one of the living room couches with a fuzzy blanket draped all over you. You rubbed your eyes so hard you started to see colors, and you thought that the LSD influence was still strong.
“You’re probably all sobered up now,” Haechan got up, slippers flapping on the tiled floor of his apartment until he reached the rug under the couch on which you were lying. He bent down to the table to take a glass full of water and handed it to you. “You’ve been asleep for 12 hours now. The influence has worn off entirely,” he said. He brought the glass to your lips and you took it with both of your hands, gulping down the cool liquid to ease your thirst. Haechan took it from you and placed it back on the table, sitting on the edge of the couch next to you.
“How are you feeling? Do you remember anything from last night?” he asked you, giving you a lopsided smile.
You shook your head, pouting. “We were talking about the meaning behind Username:Nellie and then the furniture was in the air, the room was purple and you were being a bitch, as usual. I remember you saying how heavy your whole body was and you wanted me to help you lift your head for a reason I can’t remember right now, and then you thought I was far away from you and then- OH MY GOD!” you screamed, lifting the blanket off of you. You pushed Haechan and stood up, pacing around his living room.
It can’t be real. You had kissed Haechan. It felt like a dream last night but it really happened. You were sitting on his lap, wrapped around his arms and kissing him. You should never trust yourself with drugs again. Haechan couldn’t know you – very probably – had feelings for him, especially now that you had to work together every single hour of the day for the next two months. Dating a coworker was off limits now.
Haechan went after you, standing close to you with a hand on your shoulder to steady you. “Hey, hey, Y/n, calm down. It’s okay. It was nothing. I am the one you should blame, I shouldn’t have forced you into taking LSD with me and I am responsible for what I made you do while we were high. I’m sorry,” you looked at him for the first time after your major realization. His eyes were sad, his lips fell into a pout and his hand on your shoulder was too warm for your liking.
“It’s not your fault, Haechan. I agreed to this. C-Can we just forget about it? At least for now. We’ll take the day off today but tomorrow we’re going back to work. We need to rush,” you said and grabbed your things off the floor to leave.
Haechan opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself. You stood by the door, putting your shoes on. Haechan followed you and rested his hand on the wall behind you, his arm stretched above you. “It’s all about work for you, isn’t it? The thing is Y/n, I don’t think I want to forget about last night,” he said, his hot breath fanning the top of your head.
You stood up, slinging your bag on your shoulders. You sighed and looked at him with sorry eyes. “If we talk about this now I won’t be able to concentrate on work which is very important to me right now. As soon as the game is released, I promise I’ll stay and listen to you. But right now, I can’t be thinking about you, okay?” you said, turning the doorknob of his apartment.
Haechan huffed, trying to catch your hand but you opened the door before he could reach you, stepping outside.
“Thank you for taking care of me, Haechan. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said and climbed down the stairs, leaving Haechan standing at the door, sighing and shaking his head.
“According to my calculations, we’re about 90,6% done,” Jaehee announced, adjusting his reading glasses that slipped down the slope of his nose. He shuffled through the papers in his hands, searching for his notes. From a third person’s point of view, it looked like a bunch of random unorganized papers, but Jaehee had his own way of storing things, to the point he could find anything you asked him for in seconds.
“That’s a weirdly precise number,” you noticed. Chenle sighed. “I’m gonna miss you guys when all of this is over. I can’t believe I only have 9,4% more game content to review,” he said, spinning around his chair.
Haechan looked at you at that moment. You had learned how to read him after observing him so much. His lips were slightly parted, eyes scanning your face and if you had x-ray vision, you would be able to see the gears turning inside his head. You leaned closer to him, speaking in a low voice in his ear. “Whatever you want to say, keep it,” you said and he smirked, turning his attention back to Chenle.
Johnny had given your team access to his conference room so that you could discuss the last details of the game, while he and Doyoung were at the Marketing Team’s offices, reviewing the final game trailers and posters before the game’s official release. One month had already passed and there was only one more month to go before your dream came true.
But the release of the game also meant that your contract with Neo Tech Games would be over. You would stop working at the company and you would go back to being an independent creator. Apart from that, this also meant that your team would split up. You could still keep in touch with the people you grew so close with during your limited time at the company, but it wouldn’t be exactly the same.
It all came crushing down on you like a wave. This would all be over very soon. Who knows when another opportunity like this would come to you. And who knows if the people you meet in different working environments will be as nice as the people you have met here? Even the cold and vast interior of this building started to grow on you. You were going to miss the awkwardly deafening silence of the hallways and the annoying clicking of your shoes on the glassy tiled floors.
You would miss everybody you had met here. You blinked and the face of a certain person appeared in front of your eyes. You tried to shake it away, quickly looking at the huge screen behind Jaehee. The image of Nellie was frowning right at you, her freckles splattered across her tan rosy cheeks, glitter scattered all over her pigtails, a glassy light pink sword in her hands. You hated that Haechan was right, but the resemblance between him and the character was uncanny. This was a failed attempt of shaking him out of your mind.
“Y/n, are you okay?” Jaehee’s voice brought you back to reality. You mumbled something like ‘yeah, I’m here’ and he went back on reviewing each of your tasks. Haechan was supposed to be in charge of this role, filling you all in on which tasks were completed, which ones needed reviewing and which ones were scrapped. But Jaehee had already finished most of his work, so Haechan bombarded him with all the organization stuff. The boy didn’t even have time to complain.
“So we only have the last 1v1 battle, as Haechan suggested,” Jaehee said, flipping the pages in his hands. You and Haechan exchanged a glance at that, lips pressed shut to suppress your laughter. Renjun looked at you confused, but he knew better than to ask.
“This is something I’m in charge of, maybe I’ll need Renjun with me to review how the designs respond to the action, so-”
“There’s no need to, Ten has approved of everything. You won’t have any problems with them,” Renjun interrupted Jaehee but he fought back. “Still, I need to make sure there are no issues before we send them to Chenle for the final review.” Renjun rolled his eyes at that but still grunted an ‘okay’ under his breath.
“Come on guys,” you sighed, “don’t argue now. Let’s keep the group spirit up for one more month and then we’ll all go back to working alone from our cubicles. Well, I’m gonna go home but that’s the same thing,” you said.
Haechan whipped his head at you. “You’ll go home?” he asked, eyes searching for an answer. You licked your lips before explaining. “Well, yeah. My contract with the company ends as soon as the game comes out,” you said.
Haechan’s body tensed and you noticed. He turned his attention back to Jaehee who had just finished packing his papers in his briefcase. You tried to ignore his reaction but it made you curious. Why would he bother so much if you left the company? Even though you two grew much closer, he still didn’t even want you there from the start.
“So that leaves Haechan and Y/n to finalize the ending of the game. You guys are gonna code this together, right?” Jaehee asked.
Haechan stood up from his seat very abruptly, adjusting his blazer. “We will. Are you finished?” he said sharply, turning his heel to leave the conference room. Jaehee gulped, searching your eyes for help. “Uh- Yeah, class dismissed,” he mumbled and Haechan went through the automatic sliding glass doors, leaving the rest of the group still inside.
Renjun and Chenle looked at you questioningly, as if you had mastered the understanding of Haechan’s behavior and sudden attitude bursts. You raised your shoulders and everyone sighed.
“Look, guys, I’ll go talk to him. I don’t know what’s wrong with him now, he was literally fine five minutes ago,” you said and everyone nodded. “Be quick, please. We don’t have time for his moodiness right now,” Jaehee said and you nodded, excusing yourself to go find Haechan after he stormed off your group meetings once again.
You caught Haechan right outside the elevator, a sight too familiar to you. You’ve had most of your encounters with Haechan outside those very same elevator doors, it became boring constantly meeting him there. You called for him but he didn’t bother turning to look at you. “What is it? I’m going for a smoke,” he said, pressing the elevator button to call it.
“Please, Haechan, don’t act all difficult now. What happened to you back there?” you asked him but he ignored you. “Come on, Haechan, please,” you whispered, grabbing his arm to catch his attention. Haechan turned his gaze to you, his eyes glossy. You let go of him, eyebrows knitting. “Are you okay?” you asked and he shook his head.
“I’m not, actually,” he said with a nervous smirk across his lips, running his hand through his perfectly styled hair. “All this talking about things coming to an end…I don’t like it. I don’t like to admit it, but I got kinda used to all this,” Haechan said.
The elevator doors dinged open but neither of you paid them any attention. “I thought you wanted to go back to working on your own after forcing yourself to work with me and the guys,” you muttered but Haechan pinched the bridge of his nose.
“That was before I realized I had feelings for you!” he said and immediately regretted it once he saw your frozen body staring at him in utter confusion.
You opened your mouth to speak but all the words were stuck in your throat. Haechan turned around, pressing the button again to open the elevator doors, as they were closed now. So he was honest when he confessed to you that night in his house, under the LSD influence.
“Forget I said that, you were right. That night I invited you over to my place, the drugs, everything was a mistake. Let’s forget about it and finish with this fucking game once and for all,” he took a step but you stopped him again, holding onto his arm.
“No, stay here until we solve this,” you deadpanned and Haechan closed his eyes, huffing. “I thought I could keep it together and wait until we stopped being coworkers before I started this conversation with you but-,” Haechan stopped himself, taking a deep breath. His voice became softer now. “All this talking back inside about us splitting up and you not working here anymore, I- I don’t- I know I treated you terribly at first but I can’t let go now. I shouldn’t be feeling this way and I wish I could stop it but I can’t,” he strummered upon his words but Haechan managed to get his message across. He liked you. And he liked you a lot.
It would be a lie if you said you didn’t feel the same way about him, but you kept suppressing these feelings for the sake of work. Haechan’s upfront confession wasn’t on your bingo list and you weren’t expecting him to act upon his feelings.
That night at his house, the two of you definitely shared a moment in heat with each other, despite being under the influence. Everything felt so real, so genuine. You both wanted it. Your subconsciousness led you to it. You couldn’t deny the connection you and Haechan had built over all these months, but you kept on ignoring your growing feelings for him just so you could concentrate on the sole thing you came to do at Neo Tech.
You didn’t know what to say to him. It was all too much for you to take in at the moment, so you stood there staring at him, the pools of honey in his eyes filled with agony and anticipation. But this time, you couldn’t find any choice options popping up on either side of Haechan’s face for you to decide on. The timer was clicking, urging you to do something, but this something was completely up to you.
The timer stopped. Haechan shook his head. “I said I’m going for a smoke,” he mumbled.
You didn’t want to stop him again. This time you let him go, walking inside the elevator. He stood there looking at you with that pained expression that made your heart weigh heavy. You couldn’t see him hurt like this, you couldn’t let him think that you didn’t see him the same way.
And that’s all it took for you to finally act. As the elevator doors were closing and Haechan’s figure slowly disappeared behind them, you jolted forward, keeping the doors from closing completely. Entering the elevator, you clasped his cheeks together, pressing your lips on his. Haechan reacted quickly, wrapping his arms around your waist, his lips moving rhythmically with yours. Your hands moved to rest on either side of his neck, head tilting to give him more access to your mouth. After a few seconds, you let him go with a final smooch, both of you breathing heavily.
“This is my promise to you. After all of this is over, we can talk about everything,” you breathed out and Haechan rested his forehead on yours, a small smile on his plump lips.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this but this felt so much better now that I’m sober,” he giggled and you pressed another peck on his lips. The elevator doors dinged and Haechan let go of you, walking out. You let out a whine at the lack of his touch but he didn’t seem to notice.
As he walked towards the terrace with the cigarette packet in his hands, he turned to you one last time. “What are you doing? Go, you have a video game to finish, honey,” he smirked at you and laughed, waving at his beaming face.
“5 minutes left,” Johnny announced and your heart was beating so fast it was about to explode.
You, your team and everyone else involved in the making of Username:Nellie were gathered in the entrance hallway of the building to watch the live countdown before the game’s official release. After all the work, the effort, the obstacles you faced, the crying and laughter you shared with your coworkers, everything came to this rewarding end.
You took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, Chenle patting you on the back. His smile was so big. That boy was so excited about the release of the game ever since he finished with his work. When you were all nervous about it, he just kept on reassuring you with kind words.
Renjun was tapping his foot on the floor, eyes never leaving the big TV screen displaying the countdown. Jaehee was as nervous as you were, droplets of sweat wetting his sideburns. The whole room was staring at the countdown, as if you were about to welcome the New Year.
Among all these people, Haechan was standing by your side this whole time. His eyes were focused on the screen but his attention was entirely on you. He altered from whispering encouraging words in your ear to squeezing your hand, caressing your hair and nudging your shoulder. This was his game as much as it was yours. Without his help, you wouldn’t be here right now.
“2 more minutes, people. Our new child is gonna be here in 2 minutes,” Johnny announced again, smiling.
You let out a nervous laugh and Haechan came even closer to you. “Your dream is coming true, honey. You’re a game creator now,” he whispered, this time searching for your eyes.
You sighed and smiled at him. “I’m not a game creator yet, I’ll be one in 1 minute and 42 seconds,” you said and he rolled his eyes playfully.
The entire hallway was decorated with Username:Nellie posters all over the walls. A Nellie standee was placed at the building entrance, there were balloons in the game’s main colors all over the room and the game’s theme song was playing through the speakers. Everyone was ready to celebrate the company’s new success and you were the person responsible for it. Although you wouldn’t get any personal recognition out of it, you were proud of yourself for achieving such a huge step in your career, especially when you had such great and talented people guiding you in the process.
The countdown came down to single-digit numbers and everyone was counting out loud. Your heart was beating fast and your vision became blurry. When everyone shouted ‘one’, Johnny and Doyoung popped confetti and everyone erupted in screams and cheers. Your ears buzzed at the loud noise and the boys from your team threw themselves at you for a group hug, screaming all kinds of praises. In the midst of this frenzy, you spotted Ten shaking hands with Johnny and then immediately you saw him popping a bottle of champagne open.
Chenle was too loud. He kept screaming in your ear and you normally would be barking at him to stop hurting your eardrums but this was an exception. Renjun ruffled your hair and Jaehee squeezed you into a tight hug. This was your achievement as much as it was theirs.
“Congratulations to us! We did it!” you yelled and they erupted in screams again.
Haechan was looking at you with his brightest smile and the most loving eyes. When the guys’ cheers came to a halt, they took the message to take some steps away from you, allowing Haechan to personally congratulate you. A few teasing glances were thrown at each other before they completely left you two alone and went to grab some snacks at the buffet instead.
Haechan approached you, his smile intact. You wiped a teardrop of happiness that had fallen down your cheek and gave him a tight-lipped smile. He stretched out his arm, aiming for a handshake but he drew it back. “Sorry, it’s not time for jokes. Congratulations Y/n!” he beamed and pulled you into his embrace. You didn’t need time to respond to his touch, wrapping your arms around him. You rested your head in the crook of his neck, taking in his scent. The warmth of his body transmitted to yours and your tears couldn’t stop flowing now.
“We did it, Haechan,” you whispered into his ear. The music became louder now and there were so many conversations going on at the same time among people. Haechan squeezed you closer to him. “You did it, honey. This is all you. We just happened to be there with you. No matter the difficulties you had, you still managed to do what you always wanted to do,” he said.
You drew your head back. Haechan was still smiling, a tight-lipped smile now and his eyes held the same adoration. You closed the distance between you by pressing your lips on his. Haechan smiled into the kiss, moving his lips with yours, his tongue aiming to enter inside your mouth but you stopped him by pulling back. “You know, we could have been like this way sooner if you weren’t such a bitch in the beginning,” you reminded him.
Haechan rolled his eyes. “Come on, you’re still holding a grudge over this? You know what, I wasn’t even supposed to tell you this before Johnny but you made me do this,” he said.
You furrowed your eyebrows, licking your lips. “What aren’t you supposed to tell me?” you asked him.
Haechan sighed and removed one hand from your waist to caress your cheek. “We have an event about the game’s release next week. It’s gonna give enough time to people to play the game before they come to the event and have their games signed by its creator, meaning you,” he said.
You stilled, processing his words. “Wait, so you’re telling me that I will sign the games? But this wasn’t part of the deal, this is a release credited under the company, not my name. It was group work,” you tried to give an explanation.
Haechan shrugged. “Yeah, you’re right, but,” he inhaled, a wicked smile threatening to appear on his lips. “I kinda pressured Johnny into giving you some credit, implicitly. The whole team is gonna be in the event but you get to sign the games. This way your name is gonna be there. Besides, you created it, honey,” he explained.
A nervous laugh escaped your mouth and you hugged him again, Haechan laughing too. “I can’t believe you did this for me, Haechan,” you exclaimed and he whispered into your ear. “Anything for you, honey. You deserve it,” he said and nudged you out of the hug. He grabbed your chin and leaned in, initiating the kiss himself this time.
After a few seconds, you pulled back. “So do you know if Johnny has any intention of keeping me in the company?” you were curious about your future in Neo Tech, especially now that you brought such successful results in the company’s reputation and sales. You were used to being independent, but working here in the past few months has opened up so many opportunities for you. Haechan looked genuinely confused now, the gears inside his head turning. “I don’t remember him mentioning anything about it, but I’m sure he’ll have that talk with you privately. But if you’re gonna be working here we need to figure out how we’re gonna get away with dating as coworkers,” Haechan said.
Your breath caught in your throat. “Dating?” you muttered, cheeks flushing.
Haechan smirked. “The game is out, and you promised we would talk about it. But I don’t wanna talk about it. I’m sure of it. I love you, Y/n. I wanna take you out, I wanna treat you good, I want to be able to hug you and kiss you whenever I want. You’re beautiful, kind, talented and I want to share my life with you. You made me see things differently and you’re a person worth having in my life-”
“Stop it, idiot, I love you too,” you said and kissed him. This time, the kiss shared between you wasn’t flirty, lazy or lustful. It was filled with love. You felt your heart warm up, your lips moved slowly and held a promise between them, a promise that what you and Haechan shared for each other was real.
As you and Haechan were kissing, the music and people’s voices were slowly fading out, the noise getting lost in the far distance. Everyone else around you had stopped moving; the people stood still, the confetti falling stopped mid-air, the clock didn’t tick anymore. You and Haechan were the only ones in motion.
When you felt that something was odd, you stopped kissing the boy you loved to observe your surroundings. With mouth agape and eyes wide, you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. Everything was frozen and steadily was turning into pixels. Haechan rested his arms in his waist, brows furrowed. “What the…” he trailed off.
Soon enough, the entire room became pixelated and one after the other, the pixels were disappearing into the air, slowly leaving you and Haechan standing in a black vastness. An angry whirlwind began out of nowhere, spinning you and Haechan around the void. You looked at each other, not knowing what was going on in the atmosphere.
“No matter what happens, remember I love you!” Haechan shouted in the black void. Even though you were standing in front of each other, he couldn’t tell how far away from him you actually were due to the wind. “I love you too!” you yelled back, the wind taking you away from him.
“Subject51 and Subject52, experiment #127, done,” a man with onyx black hair declared and typed the results in his computer.
Another man with short brown hair, leaned back into his chair, arms resting behind his head. He sighed. “Thank you Doyoung. Ten, can you please disconnect the subjects out of the alternate universe?” the man asked another guy in the room. “On it, Johnny,” Ten said.
Adjusting his lab coat, Ten opened with a touch pad the glass doors, entering the experiment room. The room was completely white and nothing decorated it except for two booths, the so-called simulation access points. On top of the booths, the bodies of an unconscious man and an unconscious woman were lying. Ten went close to the bodies, removing the small circular device attached to each of their temples. As soon as the device was turned off, the lighting in the experiment room dimmed.
Ten left the experiment room, going back to the report lab where the other two men, Johnny and Doyoung were sitting in front of their computers and monitors. “Their vitals are fine and I didn’t notice any visible alterations to their bodies,” Ten noted and Doyoung typed this information into his computer.
“This is the 127th try of this experiment. In every single alternate reality we place them in, Subect51, Lee Donghyuck, and Subject52, Y/N, fall in love with each other. Every single time. I think our research is done here. We have tried all these different alternate universes, different roles, social statuses, historical periods, obstacles and difficulties. These people defy everything,” Doyoung summed up.
“You’re right, but are two subjects enough proof of our research? We have put the same people under different alternate realities but maybe we need to test more subjects in those alternate realities to compare and contrast results. We can’t just prove that true love between two people exists among every alternate universe without enough evidence,” Johnny said.
Ten stepped in closer to the other two men. “We have tested 26 couples for 127 experiments each. I think Doyoung is right. We have proved our research question, true love exists in every alternate universe. The same people who fall in love in this timeline are bound to be endgame in every other timeline and universe. These last two subjects proved it the most out of every other couple,” he said.
Johnny closed his eyes in thought, his Adam’s apple moving up and down. Ten and Doyoung exchanged a glance, waiting for the research’s leader to declare his decision. Johnny opened his eyes again after a few seconds and clapped his hands, standing up.
“Then we did it, guys! Our assumption was true! We proved it!” he exclaimed and all three men cheered, hugging each other. “Let’s go celebrate tonight. Right now, actually. Drinks are on me. Tomorrow, we’ll head back here at the lab to sum up the research,” Johnny said and the other two men nodded, removing their lab coats to reveal their day clothes underneath. Grabbing their things, the men left the lab, locking the door behind them to go celebrate their success.
Walking towards the door, the men patted each other on their backs as a form of giving each other a silent congratulations. Locking the door behind him, Doyoung giggled. “I gotta say Johnny, the role of company CEO really suits you, it works in every single experiment,” he noted and they laughed, their voices inaudible as they were walking further away from the lab.
In the midst of their excitement, the three men forgot to check back on the test subjects. Even though they were removed out of every alternate universe, the human beings inside them weren’t brought back into this reality. So both of them were stuck in the void, waiting patiently for someone to bring them back to the real world.
The researchers were too rushed to leave the lab and failed to document this incident. The two subjects, still lying on each of the booths, were trying to find solace while they were staying inside the void. The monotonous beeping sound of the monitor showcasing the subjects’ vitals was echoing in the empty room. The subjects, with a steady breathing and heartbeat, moved their arms agonizingly slowly towards each other. Their moving only stopped when they managed to touch the edges of each other’s pinky finger, feeling just a pinch of each other’s love and warmth. They were drawn so much to each other, to the point they managed to find their lover even in the most barren state of the mind and the body.
PAIRING: childhood friend!donghyuck x female!reader (side pairing: friend!yangyang x friend!karina)
GENRE: college au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, slightly angsty, coming-of-age, mc and hyuck grow apart and then become friends (or lovers!!) again, best friend!yangyang, best friend!karina, xiaojun and giselle are mentioned a couple times
WARNINGS: mentions of food, explicit language, alcohol consumption, mentions and use of drugs, smoking, vomiting, use of pet names (barely lol), probably a bit too fluffy at the end, the side couple is lowkey more interesting than the main couple (oops), super cliché plot line, not proofread (please let me know if i missed anything)
WC: 21,2 k (oops lol)
‣[PLAYLIST]: amusement park by baekhyun, can i call you tonight? by dayglow, on the way by nct dream, fallingforyou by the 1975
SUMMARY: you knew you loved lee donghyuck ever since you met him, when the two of you were little kids. you had become best friends and were practically inseparable. until one day, donghyuck had to leave town and he also had to leave you. however, your feelings for him only grew stronger and stronger and you knew you had to confess to him when you met him again in college. but all this time, you kept suppressing them and you were always left wondering one thing; if he ever loved you back.
A/N: wow i can't believe it's finally here!! i've spent months working on this fic and i can say i'm very proud for actually finishing it. thank you everyone for being excited for it and especially thanks to @rrxnjun and the collab call for giving me the basis for developing this idea <3 enjoy reading this fic and don't forget to give me feedback, it helps me a lot<33
read on wattpad / ao3
You were five years old when you first fell in love. Or at least you thought you did. You could never know what falling in love meant at such a young age. But that’s how you want to describe it. Because your feelings for him could not be compared to how you felt about other boys. He could not be compared to other boys. That’s why you fell in love with him. But he didn’t fall in love with you. Or if he did, he never showed it.
Loud cheerful screams were the sound echoing in your ears, mixed with the soothing dreamy music coming from the merry-go-round ahead of you. The gate in front of you seemed ginormous in comparison to your small body. Rainbow fairy lights were climbing up the sides of the gate, confetti glued in between each one of them. White balloons were tied to the top and bottom corners of the pillars, leading up to the bright red and gold sign at the top which read ‘Welcome to Dreamland’.
Your eyes were roaming around the place, looking up to the sky and then left and right to the amusement park your mum took you. Soft awes and chuckles left your lips every time you spotted something new. Everything seemed magical in your eyes, the music and the colors transporting your little brain to different dimensions; this was indeed dreamland.
You stopped in front of the merry-go-round and inspected it. The blue, gold and white horses were moving up and down to the rhythm of the music, kids were riding them with cheerful smiles on their faces. You wanted to go there too. You looked at your mother to ask her to get on the merry-go-round. You opened your mouth when-
“Y/n! Y/n!” a cheery voice was calling your name. You stopped to look towards the direction of the sound, only to spot your best friend. “Yangyang!”
You let go of your mother’s hand and sprinted towards him, capturing him into a tight hug. “Wanna go to the horses?” you asked him eagerly.
“Yes! Let’s go” he agreed and your mothers helped you get on the merry-go-round. After all, it was your favorite.
You and Yangyang went on almost every ride of the amusement park. You loved bumper cars, you went on the ferris wheel with your mothers and went on almost twenty rounds on the kids’ roller coaster. You even tried to catch a teddy bear at the claw machines, but you couldn’t get the chance to do so.
After hours of trying all of the amusement park rides, your little stomach started growling and the smell of food everywhere around you only triggered your hunger more. You passed by the food canteens, smelling and taking in all the delicious scents. "What should I choose?" you thought. Just then, you spotted a stand with something strange looking; it was multi-colored fluff on sticks. Cotton candy. You had never seen it before, so you had to try it.
“Mum! I want to try this! It looks like clouds! I want the pink one!”
Your mum agreed and bought you and Yangyang one stick of cotton candy each, while his mum bought you drinks.
You went over to the tables to sit and eat your cotton candy. You sat down on a chair and took a bite. You didn’t know what to expect, but the sugary flavor definitely met those expectations.
“Wow, it tastes so pink! And it feels like the clouds! It's so fluffy!” your mother laughed at your excitement and agreed.
Yangyang was eating his cotton candy too, but he suddenly grabbed your hand and dragged you down the chair. “Let’s go for a walk. Mum, can we go for a walk?” he turned to ask his mother.
His mum shrugged. “Okay, but not too far from here, I want to see you” she said and we left, grinning.
Obviously, you didn’t listen to her. You liked the freedom you had at that moment, so you went strolling through the entire amusement park.
You and Yangyang were holding each other’s hand so that neither of you run away and got lost. Your other hands were holding the cotton candy. You felt so small among the other people and the huge amusement park rides, but you liked it. You felt at ease.
Yangyang let go of your hand and started skipped in front of you. “In the count of three I’ll start running and you will chase after me to catch me!” he said leaving you still.
“No! Yangyang, I can’t run fast!”
Yangyang didn’t listen to you. He smirked instead and started counting. “One, Two. Three!”
“Wait!” you yelled, but he had already run away.
You sighed and started running through the crowd too. You could still spot him in between other people, but you couldn’t run that fast and stumbled when taking longer steps.
Yangyang stopped and turned back to look at you. He smiled and yelled. “Come on, you’re almost there!” and resumed running.
You were breathing heavily, your feet were feeling sore, and you couldn’t move with ease through the crowd. You took a deep breath and gathered all your energy to run as fast as you could. Your only focus was to catch your friend Yangyang, who was now walking backwards looking at you with a smug expression. You had blocked out your surroundings entirely and didn’t notice that another boy was running too. And he was running towards your direction.
Yangyang was now standing, waiting for you to catch him. “I got you!” you shouted before you let out a scream and fell on the ground. The other boy was running fast too, which ended in him bumping into you. Both of you and the other boy fell down on your butts, the cotton candy you were holding was now smashed and dropped on the ground too.
“No! My fluff!” you frowned, tears already forming in the corners of your eyes.
Yangyang was shocked to see you fall. He came over to you to help you get up, smoothening your dress. “Are you okay Y/n? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to get you hurt” he was the one that sounded more hurt.
“It’s okay Yangyang” you reassured him. “But my fluff fell too! I wanted to eat it!” you whined.
Yangyang hugged you. “Don’t worry, we’ll buy a new one."
The other boy steadily stood up by himself. “I’m sorry, I was running too. I didn’t see you.” The boy said, his head lowered.
Neither you or Yangyang responded, so he lifted his head slowly to look at you. “I can buy you cotton candy if you’d like. Sorry” he apologized again.
But you couldn’t speak now either. He looked at you with sorrow eyes, plump lips forming a pout. You took a moment to really look at him. His skin was darker than yours, he was slightly taller than you, his bowl-cut covered his eyebrows, moles on his cheek and neck.
You didn’t know why, but you felt your stomach clench. You cleared your throat and spoke. “Don’t be sorry, I was running too.”
The boy nodded. “My name is Donghyuck. What’s yours?” he asked.
“I’m Y/n and this is my friend Yangyang” you pointed at your friend beside you and he flashed a bright smile to the other boy, Donghyuck.
Donghyuck smiled too and you felt your stomach clench again. “Do you guys want to be friends?” he asked and both you and Yangyang nodded. “Yes let’s be friends! Do you wanna go ride the bumper cars?” Yangyang said and grabbed both yours and Donghyuck's hands.
That’s the first memory you had of him. The first time you saw him, and the first time you've ever felt this weird clenching feeling in your stomach. This was a memory you would always cherish and always remember dearly. But you weren't really sure if he held this memory as close to his heart as you did.
Beep. Pause. Beep
Why isn’t he picking up the phone? You had called Yangyang three times already. Where is he?
You put your phone in your pocket and grabbed the books you needed for your next class from your locker. As you locked it, an arm linked with yours and dragged you to the corridor.
“Are you ready for this new semester? I heard new students transferred to our department, they might be hot” your best friend Jimin was smirking, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Yeah they might be, but I have a class now and Yangyang isn’t here, I can’t cover up for him on the first day!” you complained.
“Oh come on Y/n, you know how he is. He probably slept in, he’ll be here, don’t worry” she said and you nodded.
You were walking towards your class, greeting a few of your old colleagues on the way. It was your third year of college already, but it still felt like your first day.
You and Jimin parted ways and went to your respective classes. You agreed to meet up later for coffee and lunch, after classes ended.
The amphitheater was almost full; you managed to spot an empty seat at the back of the room and hurried to sit there before someone else took that seat.
You sat down and placed the books on top of the desk. You checked your phone again and saw that Yangyang had now texted you.
[Yangles]
slept in. don’t save me a seat
ttyl :)
Typical Yangyang. You sighed and put your phone aside as the lecture was about to start.
For the next two hours, you couldn’t concentrate on the lecture because of the group of friends chatting behind you. If you were honest, their conversation was a lot more interesting than the lecture.
The girls behind you kept talking about the new students at the computer engineering department. You heard comments such as “oh he is so hot” and “they looked at me and winked”. Oh Jimin is gonna love the tea.
The lecture finally ended and you headed towards the coffee shop in which Jimin asked you to meet her. You sent her a text to let her know you’re on your way. As you were typing the text, suddenly an arm slung around your shoulder. So you let out a loud-ass scream.
“Guess who’s here!” Yangyang exclaimed, a wide grin plastered across his face, eyes bright, his loud voice a bit too close to your ear. If you ever become deaf, it’s all his fault.
“Oh good morning to you too Yangyang, I’m fine thanks and you?” you said ironically and he rolled his eyes at your comment.
“Cut the ironies bestie, I met Donghyuck earlier” he said and your feet froze and stayed glued right where you were standing.
But you haven’t seen him in years. He moved out of town when you were fifteen, right before high school, because his parents found a better job. He had promised both you and Yangyang that he would call and maybe even visit you whenever he could. And he kept his promise for a while, but after things got tougher with school, his phone calls and occasional visits stopped.
Your stomach clenched. You gulped and removed Yangyang’s arm from your shoulder. “what do you mean Donghyuck is here?”
“I mean that Donghyuck is here” he said, rolling his eyes again, but his tone was serious. “He transferred to the computer engineering department. I came across him on campus and met his friends too. Real cool guys. He asked me about you too.”
“He did?” you regret speaking, because you didn’t expect your voice to come out that shaky.
“Um yeah, why wouldn’t he? He wants us to meet and hang out, just like the good old days. Are you free now?”
“No, I’m actually meeting Jimin for coffee now. I was texting her before you scared the shit out of me” you said.
Yangyang laughed. “Okay, I’ll see you later then. I’ll tell Hyuck you said hi” he squeezed your cheek and left.
But you were still standing frozen, trying to comprehend what Yangyang just told you. Donghyuck is back. He is back and you couldn’t wait to see him again. So he does remember you. There must be a reason why he didn’t contact you all these years. People’s lives change, right? Does he still look as pretty as he did back then? Does he still care about you as he did back then? All these questions started forming one after the other in your head, but you couldn’t distract yourself from the clenching feeling in your stomach. In fact, these exact questions were to blame for causing you this feeling.
You were ten years old when you fell in love again. Not that you ever fell out of love. But at least now you were sure about your feelings. It wasn’t something you had made up; it was rather a confirmation that you had loved him ever since the day you saw him.
You had went to the park with Yangyang and Donghyuck. The three of you decided to do sports in the park; Yangyang took his skateboard with him and Yangyang took his bike. You, however, didn’t take anything with you; you didn’t know how to skate and you certainly didn’t know how to ride a bike. You just wanted to tag along because you had fun spending time with your friends.
But Donghyuck had offered to help you learn how to ride a bike. Yangyang bursted out laughing so hard when Donghyuck said that. “I tried to teach her how to skate once and let me tell you, I wouldn’t even think about teaching her how to ride a bike” Yangyang said.
Yangyang always found his way to make fun of you. He didn’t do it in order to be mean; it was anything but that. He liked teasing you because you would get annoyed and then he would apologize because he felt bad. “I didn’t mean it Y/n” he would say. “I know” you always responded.
But that day Donghyuck was present in this conversation. What you didn’t expect was for him to stand up for you. “Well, in her defense Yangyang” he started “skating is too hard. It needs patience both by the skater and the student. The bike is a bit easier to handle. I think Y/n can do it”.
Every time Donghyuck spoke about you, your stomach clenched. You didn’t know what it was about him that made you feel this way. Was it his eyes? His smile? His honey skin? His soft voice? His kindness and humor? The way he treated you? You didn’t know.
Yangyang agreed with Donghyuck. “You’re right, I didn’t mean what I said. Just so you know. I think you can do this Y/n” he said, his smile fading.
“Don’t apologize Yangles, I know you didn’t mean it” you said and his signature grin appeared on his face again.
You eventually learned how to ride a bike. Donghyuck helped you every time; he taught you how to keep your balance, held you every time you were about to fall and did it every day until you were finally able to do it on your own.
One day he asked you to go to the park to ride your bikes together. Yangyang said he couldn’t come because he felt sick. So it was just you and Donghyuck.
You always felt such comfort with him. He reminded you of a warm summer day in nature. His pure gaze felt like the sun rays hitting your skin, his plump lips seemed to be as soft as the cotton fields, his laugh livelier than the chirping birds. He was comfort himself.
That day the two of you went biking, you couldn’t help but smile at the way you felt. You felt free, independent, powerful. The world surrounding you was in a haze, the only sight you could see was him, the only sound you could hear was his voice.
But sometimes it felt nice not hearing his voice. It meant that he was at peace, and you were too. You had left your bikes standing against a tree and the two of you sat down on the grassy ground to just stare at the sunset. You both loved the sunset.
Donghyuck’s arm was resting on your lower back, his head leaning towards yours, which was resting on his shoulder. Sometimes, when you sat in a position like this, you would try to match your breathing with his. If you were to be honest, you would admit that it was quite hard.
Donghyuck’s gaze was set on the colorful sea of clouds ahead of him, You did the same. He didn’t turn to look at you when he spoke up. “You know, Y/n, at moments like this, I realise how much I enjoy spending time with you. You are truly the best friend I could ever have. I would never leave you, okay?”
The words he uttered at this exact moment confirmed that you sure loved him. More than just a friend. But you could never open up to him about this. He could never know. Not when he wasn’t feeling the same. Not when he didn’t keep his promise.
Jimin was sitting at a coffee table near the window, sipping from a white plastic cup while texting on her phone. You skipped towards her and sat down on the chair opposite from hers. “Donghyuck is here”.
She put down both her cup and her phone and looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. “What? Don’t tell me he’s one of the transfer students” she said.
“Well, apparently he is” you said. “Yangyang told me. They’ve already met. Plus, he asked about me”.
Jimin’s bottom lip dropped down to her jaw. “What?” she said again. “Okay, when are we meeting him? I need to have a word with him”.
You laughed at her reaction. “Stop it Jimin, I’m over him now. It’s been years since I had a crush on him.” you said.
“I don’t believe you. You can’t trick me with that. I won’t fall for it.” she said, her tone serious. “I know you dated and all, but you always compared everyone to Donghyuck. You expect me to believe that you moved on?”
You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Whatever” you said.
The two of you paused for a moment before Jimin spoke up. “Do you think he got even hotter?”
You laughed at her comment and playfully slapped her forearm. “Stop it Jimin!”. She was now laughing too. “I don’t know, okay? He might be.” you said.
“Do you want to see him?” Jimin asked you and your eyes shifted down to your lap.
You seriously didn’t know. A part of you wanted to see him, talk to him, hug him and feel him again, ask him about his life and interests, spend time with him. But a part of you was scared; scared that if you saw him, you would fall in love with him again.
“My guess is that you do. Come on, I missed him a bit too” Jimin said and you chuckled. “Now, how about we get you some coffee and you tell me about your day, hm?” Jimin asked and you nodded in agreement.
The next day Yangyang insisted on picking you up from your dorm and driving you to your classes. He felt bad he missed the first day of the semester so he decided to make up for standing you up by driving you to class. You grabbed your phone to text him and let him know that you were ready but he beat you to it. He was already parked outside the dorm complex waiting for you in his car.
You opened the door from the passenger’s side and got inside the car. “Hey” you greeted him and he did the same, flashing you his signature wide grin.
“Don’t make plans for later. We’re going out tonight. You, me and Donghyuck” he said after he turned on the engine.
The mention of this specific name took you aback. You muttered a small “okay” and you hoped he heard you the first time so you wouldn’t have to repeat it. “Should I tell Jimin to tag along? She said she would like to hang out all together too” you asked.
Yangyang shrugged. “Yeah sure, I haven’t seen her in a while. Hyuck would love to see her too” he said.
You thanked him for agreeing to invite Jimin and smiled at him. But you couldn’t ignore the clenching feeling that appeared again in your stomach.
Your thoughts carried you away and you didn’t realize you had already arrived at campus. Yangyang parked the car and both of you exited it. You exchanged a short conversation of “see you later” and “text me for any news” and went to your respective classes.
The day went by in a flash. It was already afternoon and you were in your dorm with Jimin, your closet wide open, clothes scattered all over the bed.
You let out a frustrated sigh. “I officially don’t have any clothes” you whined.
“No, you do,” Jimin said, “you’re just nervous. And I don’t even know the reason why, I thought you were over Donghyuck, right?”
“Jimin please, you’re making this even harder!” you whined again.
Jimin got up from the chair and stood in front of your closet. She searched through the racks and the drawers for a while until she stopped and put an outfit on your bed. “Here,” she said, “get dressed. And do it quickly. We’re gonna be late”.
You complied and took the clothes to get dressed. It’s just a meet up with old friends. Nothing to be stressed about. You didn’t have a crush on Donghyuck anymore either. You were probably nervous, or rather excited, because you hadn’t seen him in a long time. Yeah, that’s probably why.
You were supposed to meet Yangyang and Donghyuck at the local diner. Yangyang promised to be there earlier so that you and Jimin wouldn’t have to be the ones to wait for them. You weren’t sure whether you should believe him or not; every time he promises to be early, there’s only gonna appear something on his way to make him late.
Jimin offered to drive the two of you to the diner that you were supposed to meet your friends at. You’ve been to this diner before, you’re going out with your best friends, just a normal night out. But why is your heart beating so hard? Why does it feel like it’s about to rip your chest apart and fly out of your body?
Jimin parked the car in the diner’s parking lot. You spotted Yangyang’s car in the parking lot too, two figures standing beside it. It must be them. It must be him.
“Hello? Are you listening to me?” Jimin waved her hand in front of your face and you quickly snapped out of your thoughts. “I see them, let’s go” she said and exited the car.
You imitate her movements and get out of the car too. Jimin noticed your uneasiness, so she linked her arm with yours and walked with you towards the boys.
Yangyang and Donghyuck seemed to have a conversation about something and didn’t realize you were right there, standing in front of them. “We’re here” Jimin spoke up and the two boys turned their bodies to look at us.
Your gaze immediately fell on the boy that made your heart beat and break at the same time. Black leather jacket hanging from his shoulders, black skinny jeans and boots covering his long legs, comma-styled black hair exposing his forehead. You locked eyes with him, his chocolate ones piercing through yours, plump lips sliding upwards to a wide smile. You swear you saw sparkles in his eyes for a second. Only your heart knew the answer.
“Y/n” Donghyuck breathed out and you returned his smile, before you threw yourself on him and embraced him tightly.
He started laughing. “I missed you so much” he said in your ear and you were thankful he wasn’t able to see your face because your cheeks were almost on fire. “Cute, but I wish I could say the same bitch-ass” you laughed too.
“Oh shut up, you haven’t seen me in years and this is the treatment I get?”.Of course he clapped back. Typical Donghyuck. And right there and then, it felt as if not a single day had passed.
You hugged him tightly. You forgot how comfortable he felt. He had rested his chin in the crook of your neck and you stood on the tips of your toes to do the same. He had definitely grown a bit taller since the last time you saw him. You took a moment to remember his scent, to feel his touch, to hear his voice. And then the clenching feeling was there again.
Yangyang cleared his throat. “Um, we’re here too, you know” he trailed off. You and Donghyuck broke the hug and Donghyuck motioned Yangyang and Jimin to join you in a group hug. Your cheekbones hurt because you were smiling so hard. Your heart fluttered. You were happy.
Yangyang was the first one to break off the hug because he started whining and said he was hungry, so he went inside the diner and invited us in. Donghyuck followed shortly after him, leaving you and Jimin behind. Jimin turned at you and mouthed “girl he’s so hot” and went inside the diner. Typical Jimin, you thought.
Time seemed to have stopped and felt like you were trapped in a loop. Spending time with your favorite people, laughing, talking, reminiscing about the past while making plans for the future. You only stopped the conversations when you had to take a bite from your food or take a sip from your drink. Yangyang didn’t seem to be bothered by that though.
“So,” Donghyuck started and you shifted your gaze to your drink “are you still dating that guy Y/n?”
Oh he was talking to you. You looked up at him, confused. “Who? Dejun? Well, no, we broke up, like, so long ago” you said.
“Yeah he yeeted his way out to be a model in China or something, honestly who even cares? I almost forgot about him” Yangyang said after he emptied his glass of beer.
Donghyuck chuckled at Yangyang’s remark and went back to eating his food. Jimin kicked you under the table and when you looked at her side, she was smirking.
“Well Yangyang, how about you tell us about your relationship, hm?” you asked him and he choked on his food. He started coughing and Donghyuck patted him on his back to help him breathe.
“Let's not talk about it bestie, okay? I know I fucked up” he said after he caught his breath.
“Why what happened? Donghyuck asked, intrigued.
Jimin was the one who spoke this time. “He's supposed to be dating this girl but he never texts her, calls her or takes her out. Basically he never wants to spend time with her. I seriously don’t know why she hasn’t broken up with him yet”.
Yangyang lowered his eyes. “It’s not like I don’t wanna see her,” he muttered, “but I may or may not have lost feelings and I kinda don’t know how to tell her”.
“Maybe if you weren’t such a coward you would confront her and stop playing with her. It’s that easy you know. Whether you love or don’t love someone anymore, you should tell them before it’s too late” you told him.
“Sounds brave coming from you, Y/n” his response caught you off guard. You threw a piercing glare at him and before you opened your mouth to speak, Jimin spoke over you. “Maybe we should change the topic, what do you think?” she said.
You and Yangyang exchanged a look and focused your attention on your food. Donghyuck chuckled at the interaction between you and your best friend, but he didn’t say anything.
The rest of the night went on smoothly and you soon forgot about the tension between you and Yangyang from earlier. He was right though. You should consider your own advice sometimes. Why can’t you tell Donghyuck you like him? Why didn’t you tell him when you had the chance to do so? Your feelings for him began to resurface and it was just the first time you saw him after years. You couldn’t let yourself make the same mistake again.
The entire night you and Donghyuck kept throwing hidden glances at each other. You caught him staring at you multiple times and if you were honest with yourself, you did stare at him too. You couldn’t ignore the fact that he looked beautiful. He had always been beautiful.
Your mind, however, was focused on something else, something you wanted to have an answer to. Why did he stop reaching out for you when he left? You needed to know the reason why. He must have had a reason. You tried to push this thought aside and allowed yourself to have a good time. I’ll ask him another time, you thought.
You were fifteen years old when you had your first kiss. And it was none other than Lee Donghyuck himself who stole it from you. Part of you believed that the reason you were so attached to him even now was because of that day; he gave you your first kiss. But a part of you knew that the kiss was the incident that tied everything together.
Donghyuck announced one day that the company his parents worked in was moving their main offices to a different town, so they had to move away from this place. The same day, you announced to your friend Jimin that you had your first heartbreak. Of course you were going to miss him. A lot. Yangyang was sad too that day. Jimin didn’t know him well enough, but she still felt sad when Donghyuck told you all.
The day before Donghyuck and his family would move away, Yangyang had an idea; to throw a goodbye party for Donghyuck. Donghyuck disagreed and said that a normal hangout with all of us would be just fine, but Yangyang insisted on throwing a party at his place. It will still be just the four of us but a little bit fancier, he had said.
So eventually everyone agreed. The previous day, you and Yangyang went to the shops to buy snacks and some decorations. You were walking around the convenience store aisles when Yangyang finally admitted to his ulterior motives.
“So, Y/n, here’s what we’re gonna do. For the party. I think we should play games but in a more adult way, if you know what I mean” he smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.
You looked at him confused and urged him to continue. “So we’ll play spin the bottle. And before you protest, no we’re not gonna drink anything with alcohol in it because we’re gonna get caught, but it’s gonna be a good excuse for me to kiss Jimin and for you to kiss Donghyuck”.
You stopped walking with a bag of chips in your hands and turned to him. “Are you out of your mind? This cannot happen, ever!” you whisper-shouted at him.
“Oh come on Y/n, don’t be such a party pooper. We both win in the end so what’s the matter?” he whined.
You thought for a few seconds. “They might be uncomfortable and turn down your offer. We want to have fun, remember? Plus, I don’t think Jimin likes you back and Donghyuck certainly doesn’t like me back either” you said and put that bag of chips you were holding into the shopping cart.
“Okay, Jimin might not like me back but I am completely, utterly, absolutely sure that Hyuck likes you” Yangyang said but you ignored him.
As if the odds were against you that day, Jimin and Donghyuck agreed on Yangyang’s suggestion. Jimin wasn’t that fond of the idea of playing spin the bottle at first, but eventually the boys convinced her and she said yes. You had no other choice but to agree too.
You wanted to kiss Donghyuck. You really did. But not in a forced scenario and definitely not in front of Yangyang. You wouldn’t bear his annoying ass teasing you about it for the rest of your life. But this could be my chance to finally confess to him, you thought. But even if you did, nothing would change. He would still leave town the next morning.
Yangyang grabbed the glass of cola you emptied earlier and put it on the ground. You gathered up sitting on the ground too. You looked at Jimin and she smiled at you. “Don’t think about it too much Y/n, it’s just a game”. It wasn’t just a game to you.
Yangyang was the first one to spin the bottle. The empty cola bottle spun for a few seconds, four sets of eyes staring at it with laser rays coming out of them. The bottle started gradually spinning less quickly, until it took three, two, one seconds before it stopped and became still; the top part of the bottle was pointing at Jimin and the bottom part was at Yangyang’s side. “Oh my god Jimin has to kiss you bro” Donghyuck said, smiling.
“This game is bullshit, I don’t wanna do it” Jimin said and crossed her arms. Jimin’s words made Yangyang’s lips drop down to a frown.
“Come on Jimin, it’s just a game, you said it yourself” Donghyuck said. Jimin sighed and leaned towards Yangyang. “Fine, come here then you bitch” she said before she grabbed Yangyan’s jaw and kissed him on the lips. You and Donghyuck stayed still, watching them. Jimin only went in to peck Yangyang, but he went all the way in and kissed her properly. Jimin was quick to react and pulled away from him.. “Ew, don’t do that! We agreed on just a kiss not a full on makeout session. Jeez Yangyang” she said and sat back down at her side.
Yangyang tried to hide the sulk on his face. “I tried to taste your chapstick more, you bitch, but it turns out it tastes awful. What the fuck is this taste?” Yangyang said and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.
The game continued for a couple of rounds and every single time, as if it was its fate, the bottle landed on Jimin and Yangyang. Jimin had already had enough with kissing Yangyang just once, so she suggested that they avoid the kissing part and just hug instead. This went on and on and on until the bottle spun again, going round and round and round until it stopped in three, two, one. But this time, the bottle’s ends were pointing towards two different directions. The bottom part on you, the top part on Donghyuck.
You gulped and looked at him. He seemed calm, relaxed. For him, it was just a game. Sitting there at that moment, looking right into his deep brown eyes, you regretted agreeing to play this game. And you made a mental note to slap Yangyang after all of this was over.
“Now this is getting interesting” Yangyang whispered just loud enough for you to hear him and went over to Jimin's side to sit beside her and watch.
Donghyuck licked his lips and leaned over towards you. You hoped he wouldn't be able to listen to the drumming sounds of your heart or see the embarrassingly vibrant red color on your cheeks. You just went along with it. It’s just a game, right?
Donghyuck was standing a bit too close to you, probably the closest the two of you have been physically. Or rather, the most intimate you’ve been together. He lowered his head to meet your eye level, and came closer to your face just enough so that his lips were grazing over your ear. “Don’t be nervous, it’s just for fun” he whispered to you. Suddenly, this wasn’t just fun anymore.
Donghyuck pulled away from your ear and was now staring deep into your eyes, his face almost attached to yours. He looked at you for a couple of seconds before he gave you a reassuring nod. You didn’t have the energy to say anything, so you gave him a nod too, signaling him that you were fine.
Before you could even process what was about to happen, Donghyuck leaned in and kissed you. Plump lips captured yours in a soft dancing motion, their taste perfectly resembling a mix of the pizza and cola he had earlier. Shock waves run throughout your entire body, as he moved his hand to the back of your neck to support you.
You allowed yourself to fall entirely into him, eyes closed and lips moving along the rhythm he created. A few seconds felt like hours, his homely yet unfamiliar touch making your stomach clench and your face heat up in love.
And then he stopped. Donghyuck pulled back and flashed the brightest smile you had ever seen painted on his beautiful face. He licked his lips and you laughed awkwardly, looking down at your lap to avoid his piercing gaze. Your heart was still beating rapidly. You could taste his lips on your lips, you could feel the touch of his hand in the back of your neck, you could hear the sound of his beating heart, you could sense his cool breath fanning your burning face. Donghyuck had stopped kissing you, but the sensation of his kiss was still present in your entire body. You just had your first kiss, and at the same time, you had your first kiss with Donghyuck.
“Gosh you were kissing for ages. Like, get a room, or something” Yangyang said and went back to sit on the side of the room he was previously sitting in. Jimin threw you a playful wink secretly from the boys. You knew what it meant. We need to talk later type of wink.
It was getting late and Donghyuck’s parents called him to go back home. He needed to leave sooner than the rest of you because he still hadn’t packed all of his things. You greeted him one last time before he walked out the door to leave.
As the door closed, you felt your heart sink down the deepest ocean, a piece of it shattering, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes, dryness in your throat. You missed him already. It had been just a couple of seconds since he walked out the door and your heart to go out that door with him too.
A tear streamed down your cheek.So this was it. A second tear followed shortly after the first one. Then another one. And another one. Soon enough a pool of tears was running down your face and it hadn’t occurred to you that you were going to miss him that much.
But as if a lightning bolt struck you, you quickly wiped your tears with the palm of your hands, stormed out the door and ran after Donghyuck.
“Donghyuck!” you yelled and he stopped to look back at you. You were lucky he heard your voice, he hadn’t walked that far though, you were quick to react and follow after him, just so you could spend some more time with him. You and him. “Do you mind if I walk you home?” you asked him and he nodded.
You skipped a bit so that you could walk beside him. You started walking alongside Donghyuck, taking a few seconds to catch your breath until it came back to its normal rate. “So, when are we gonna see you again?” you asked him. He left a low chuckle and shook his head.
“I honestly don’t know, Y/n” he said. Another piece of your heart shattered.
Donghyuck noticed your saddened expression and took your hand in his. "Hey, look at me” he said. You stopped and turned towards him, taking in the details of his face. His chocolate eyes were gleaming under the moonlight, the moles on his dark cheek reminded you of the stars in the night sky.
“I will not forget you. Ever. Always remember that. I will try my best to call you as much as I can, all of you. You guys are my best friends, I could never leave you. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, it won’t be that easy for me to visit you often. but I promise to make up for all the time that we will lose. Especially for you. But I can’t be sure when that will be.”
A tear slipped down your cheek again and he wiped it away with his thumb. Why is he being like this all of a sudden?
Your voice wasn’t strong enough at that moment for you to speak, so you opened your arms to embrace him instead. And he hugged you back so tightly you thought your body would be merged with his. He buried his head at the crook of your neck and you stayed there for a while, feeling the presence of your bodies on each other. Not a single word was said, yet you felt so comfortable and safe in his arms.
That night you had helped him pack his things. You stayed in his room afterwards, talking, laughing, crying. God you were going to miss him. That day, you thought for the first time ever that maybe your feelings were reciprocated. But he said nothing about it. So you didn’t say anything either.
But you wanted to. It felt like all the words were stuck in your throat and there was something blocking them from coming out. I like you Donghyuck, I like you a lot. It was that easy. But for some reason, you couldn’t say it out loud. Maybe you didn’t want to. Maybe you were too scared of rejection. Or maybe you were afraid of losing a friend.
You and Donghyuck were sitting at the stairs of his porch, next to each other, facing the stars of the night sky. You didn’t want to go home. You couldn’t. You wanted to stay there longer, kiss him again, talk to him about anything and then kiss him again.
When you stood up to leave, he hugged you one last time, stroking your hair lightly. He spoke in a low voice in your ear. “I’ll be back. Don’t forget me”.
How could I ever forget you Donghyuck?
The day after you met Donghyuck at the diner, he texted you and asked to hang out later after your classes. You would be lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t screech like a schoolgirl the moment you saw his text message on your phone when you woke up.
Of course you agreed to meet him. At that moment, you didn’t feel nervous, at all, but as time passed your stomach was clenching more and more.
Jimin wouldn’t stop nudging you about it the entire day. She wanted to meet up for lunch because she was dying to talk about this ever since you came back home last night. “The first thing he did in the morning was to ask you to hang out later? Yeah, sounds like a date to me” she said.
You rolled your eyes at her. “It's not a date, drop it. He just wants us to hang out, that’s it” you said.
“Are you sure that you want to just hang out though?” she asked you.
You thought for a second. “Well, no, but I won't try to do anything more than that” you said.
“Whatever,” Jimin said “you have to tell him sometime though, you know that right? And you also have to admit to yourself that you never really got over him, so now that he’s here you have to make your move. You had your chance once and you lost it. So don’t lose it again now”.
You sighed. “What if he doesn’t feel the same” you said.
“Who gives a fuck?” Jimin said “If he doesn’t feel the same, you will close this chapter and begin a new one. There are other fish in the sea too, you know”
Yeah but it’s not the same, you whispered to yourself. Jimin didn’t hear you.
As soon as you came back to your dorm, you went straight to searching through your closet for an outfit to wear later, when your phone chimed.
[Hyuck]
meet me at the park in about hour
[Hyuck]
bring your bike too
You were staring at your phone screen until it turned off. Oh he’s such a little bitch, you thought.
You put on comfortable clothes and running shoes, and decided to ride your bike on the way to the park. The sun was beginning to set; orange and pink hues painted the sky, a light chilly breeze combing through your hair. The park was still lively, little kids were playing with each other, old couples were going for walks, some students were studying under the trees.
You hadn’t been to the park since the day Donghyuck left. Yangyang wanted to go skating there from time to time, but every time he asked you to keep him company, you turned down his offer. Then, he started filling his time with dating girls and you started spending more time with Jimin, so the park wasn’t your go-to place to hang out anymore.
You saw Donghyuck leaning against a tree, foot resting on top of the bike’s pedal, same black leather jacket as the day before, a bucket hat hiding his pretty features. He was scrolling through his phone as you approached him.
“Hey” you said and his head shot up, turning off his phone and placing it in his pocket. “Y/n, hi” he said and smiled. You smiled back at him. He looked beautiful when he smiled.
“So, you still like the park, I see” you said. He nodded and hopped on his bike. “I do. So come on, let’s go for a ride. I think we have to catch up on a lot of things. And I promised to make up for all the time we lost. So, let’s go” he said and started riding his bike.
You followed shortly after him until you were now biking beside him. So he does remember his promise, you thought. You smiled to yourself and pushed your thoughts to the back of your mind. You wanted to enjoy your time with him, just like the old times.
You spent hours biking and talking about anything. Donghyuck told you stories from his high school years, the friends he met on the way, how he changed his college major and decided to come back here to study computer engineering.
“A part of me wanted this change because I missed this town, you know? I have so many memories here, I was kinda attached to this place. All I needed was a valid reason to come back, and I found one, so here I am.” he said.
You couldn’t help but bring the same questions to your mind, so you gathered all of your strength and asked him. “Then why didn’t you visit us at all? Or even call us back? You did at first and then you stopped. Why?”
Donghyuck pulled the breaks of his bike and rested his feet on the ground to stop the bike from moving. You mimicked his actions and stood there searching his features for an answer. He cleared his throat and turned to look at you. You couldn’t see his face clearly because the bucket hat was casting a shadow over his features.
“Honestly, I don’t really know. I didn’t want to stop contacting you, but I don’t know why I did it.” He paused for a few moments. He drew in a breath and started again. “You know what, I think I know, but I can’t tell you now. Maybe some other time, okay?” he said.
You were left confused, but decided not to question him any further. Instead, you nodded and smiled at him. He would tell you when he was ready to do so.
The sky was getting darker and darker and both your stomachs growled in hunger. Donghyuck suggested that you buy takeout and sit under at the park to stargaze. You left your bikes leaning against a random tree and put your jackets on the ground to sit on them.
The sky looked beautiful. The stars and the moon were shining brightly, contrasting with the pitch black background of the sky. Donghyuck was staring at the sky when he spoke up “I remember how much you liked watching the sky when you were younger. You were always watching the stars closely and we made bets on which one would fall first.”
You chuckled at the memory. “And you always lost. Every. Single. Time. Seriously, you have no intuition at all. You had won one time and bragged about it forever” you said and he laughed.
He turned his head to face you. He had taken off his hat too, his black hair was falling over his eyes. “You were just lucky all the other times. Don’t flatter yourself” he said.
You sat there and ate your food in silence. Comfortable silence. The only sound that was heard was the singing of the cicadas in the trees and occasionally your munching on the food.
Everything felt at ease again. You and Donghyuck, sitting beside each other, enjoying each other’s company, not having to utter a single word. You were smiling at yourself, it really felt as if not a single day had passed.
Donghyuck looked back at the sky and took a sip from his drink before he addressed you. “You really improved. Biking, I mean. I remember you were still struggling when I left” he said.
“Thanks, I still rode my bike to school so that I could get used to it more. Thank you for teaching me by the way. I don’t think I ever thanked you properly” you said.
“It's no problem” he said and sipped from his drink again.
He opened his mouth to speak again, changing the subject now. “So, why did you break up with that guy? Dejun, was it?” he asked.
Why is he so curious about that? “Oh, there were many reasons actually. He wasn’t a bad guy, he was really cool and I liked him a lot. It’s just that we got kinda bored of each other, I guess? And he also graduated from high school a year earlier than me so then he had to go back to China for college.”
Donghyuck nodded. “I see” he paused and asked again. “How was he like?”
“Why do you even bother so much? He is old news now, anyway” you said. But now you were curious about Donghyuck too. “Tell me about you, did you date anyone in high school?”
You don’t know why but you got anxious waiting for his answer. He shrugged. “Yeah but nothing serious. Just casual things, you know?” he said and you hummed in agreement.
The night went on and you talked more. You and Donghyuck agreed to hang out at the park every day after your classes, like you used to. That’s what he suggested. You couldn’t say no; of course you wanted to spend time with him.
And that’s what you did. You grew closer again, maybe even closer than you used to be. You enjoyed biking and stargazing in the park a lot. It had become your thing; an activity that the two of you shared with each other, an excuse to get away from everyone and everything and make up for all the memories you could have had.
There were quite a few moments when you wanted to look Donghyuck in the eyes and tell him I like you dumbass. But every single time you backed away from doing it. You were too scared that these harmless words would end up destroying everything you had built with him.
So you waited. You waited for the right time to bring it up. You were having the time of your life alongside a dear person that you’ve loved and appreciated your entire life. You were not ready to take the risk and possibly lose him. So you never said a word. Because he didn’t say any words either.
“Why does Donghyuck keep asking me about Dejun? What is so interesting about him? If he wants to find out more about him, he should be the one to date him” the frustration in your voice made a couple of people turn their heads from the tables next to yours.
Jimin took a fork bite of her carrot cake. “Girl, you must be joking” she said, munching on the piece of cake. “He asks about him because, guess what, he is jealous! J-e-a-l-o-u-s. Got it? Why are you so stupid, gosh! The man has clearly fallen for you and you are so oblivious of it!”.
“I mean why would he be jealous? Dejun and I broke up so long ago” you muttered to yourself.
Jimin heard that and, obviously, she wouldn’t leave it at that. “This is what happens when you like someone. Donghyuck keeps asking you about your ex boyfriend because he wants to make sure he’s in the clear to make a move.”
You sighed. “Is this why you keep asking Yangyang if he broke up with his girlfriend? Look, Jimin, I love you, but I don’t think Hyuck likes me. As a friend, yes. But nothing more than that.”
Jimin gulped down a glass full of water. “Okay, whatever floats your boat, Y/n” she said and took another fork bite of her cake. “So, did Yangyang tell you? A frat guy he knows is hosting a party this weekend, wanna go?” she asked you.
“Come on Jiminie, you know I don’t really do parties” you whined.
Jimin rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t expecting a different answer. But we’re definitely going. There’s gonna be hot boys, good music and lots of alcohol. I heard Donghyuck is going too”.
“Well, he didn’t mention any party” you defended him. “He didn’t mention any party yet” Jimin corrected you. “He's gonna bring it up any second. I bet you can’t say no to him, you care too much about his feelings but you never care about mine” Jimin sulked.
You mentally slapped her only because you couldn’t bear to slap her for real. “I will go to the party because you want us to go, not because Donghyuck will supposedly be there. You know I always come along with you in everything. We come as a package, remember? Now, don’t sulk and eat your cake, we have to think about our outfits” you said. She was your best friend after all, it was the least you could do.
Jimin’s face lit up and her lips curved upwards, stretching all the way to her ears. Before she could open her mouth to speak, you cut her off. “But you have to promise me that you won’t get drunk, okay?” you said and lifted your pinky.
She linked her pinky finger with yours and nodded in agreement. “I don’t exactly promise it, but I’ll try my best” she said.
Donghyuck indeed mentioned the party later that day when you went out at the park with him. “I don’t really wanna go either Y/n, but all my friends are gonna be there. And now that you’re gonna be there too, I can’t be the only one missing out from all the fun” he said.
Donghyuck has had his fun share with parties during high school. He told you so one night at the park. He would sneak out the house and go to parties during weekends, but one night, or rather morning, he went home super drunk and threw up all over the front door rug. He claimed that this happened because of a dare his friends made him do and that he didn’t intend to drink as much as he did. After that, he avoided parties like the plague. It’s not that his parents never allowed him to go again; he could easily sneak out his window. He was smart enough to realize that parties were simply not good for him.
“I wanted to fit in with them, you know?” Donghyuck said “I got used to it eventually and I actually kinda liked it, but now I don’t really enjoy such things”.
That’s one of the many reasons you liked Donghyuck so much. His honesty. He wasn’t afraid to speak his mind about things that bothered him, or simply voice out his thoughts. So why wasn’t he doing it with his feelings too? Was it so hard for him too? Did he actually like you, like Jimin said? Or maybe you just wanted to believe that he did. If he really did, he would probably have said it by now.
But his actions spoke louder than his words. You couldn’t help but think about the way he looked at you under the night sky when you were staring at the stars but he was staring back at you. Or when he wiped your strawberry milk stains from the corners of your lips and his fingers stayed there brushing your lips a little longer than they should be. Or when he held you close to him among big crowds so that he wouldn’t lose you from his sight. Or when he would let you rest your head on his chest while he was stroking your hair so that you could fall asleep faster.
You swear you had heard him whisper something to you once, but when you asked him to repeat it he waved it off. Were you that desperate for his attention? Maybe. But maybe both of you were fools, afraid to let their heart be free because of the painful possibility that it might break.
You and Jimin were standing in front of the frat house door, the loud music blasting through the speakers behind the wall created a throbbing base sound in your ears, your heart beat in sync with the beat of the song that was playing from inside that house.
“Do we knock or...” Jimin trailed off before the door slid wide open and a tipsy young man stood by it. “Welcome ladies, come on in” he said. You and Jimin looked at each other for confirmation before hesitantly taking a step forward. The young man stepped aside so that you could get through the door.
The place was dark, the only source of light being the neon special effects lighting coming from the DJ set. The rooms were packed with people, some of them already drunk, some of them dancing all over each other, the mixed odor of sweat, alcohol and weed making you dizzy. At that exact moment you reminded yourself that this was why you didn’t like parties.
You and Jimin stood there, eyes wandering all over the room, trying to take in the scenery in front of you. “Damn, this is so cool” Jimin breathed out.
The guy who opened the door a few seconds ago was nowhere to be seen. A girl was walking with her sunglasses on, when she bumped into Jimin and spilled a bit of her drink on the ground, a drop of it landing on Jimin’s shoe. A “sorry” was barely audible on top of the loud music and Jimin stood there looking at her shoe in disgust.
“I guess it’s not that cool” she said and grabbed your hand. “Let’s go get ourselves some drinks.”
You walked towards the kitchen which was a bit brighter compared to the other rooms. Bottles of different types of alcohol were lined up on the kitchen counter. Juice boxes, ice and plastic red cups were placed on the kitchen table. A group of boys were refilling their cups with their alcohol of choice, while a couple was making out up against the wall next to the fridge.
Jimin’s disgusted expression from earlier appeared again. You decided to ignore your surroundings and went over to the kitchen counter to grab a drink for you and Jimin.
“Where’s Yangyang?” Jimin asked
“I honestly have no idea. He said he’d text me once he gets here, but I’m a bit surprised he didn’t arrive earlier than us. He doesn’t miss on such things” you said and Jimin nodded.
“And Donghyuck?” she asked again
You put the bottle of alcohol down and grabbed a box of grapefruit juice. You shrugged. “ No idea either.”
Jimin smirked at your answer, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she took her cup and guided you out of the kitchen towards the living room. “Come on, let’s dance” she said.
The music was blasting into your eardrums and your body caught the rhythm of the music, adjusting its muscles to move along to it. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Your body was swaying to the fast-paced song that the DJ was playing when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.
[Hyuck]
where are you?
[Hyuck]
can’t see you
You lifted your head to look around the crowded living room in hopes of finding Donghyuck. It didn’t take you long before you could spot him among the crowd, though. You could never miss him anywhere, he always stood out in your eyes. Your gaze caught his, and his lips curved a bit when he saw you.
He tried to squeeze between the people dancing in the living room in order to get to your place. “What are you looking at?” Jimin asked you when she noticed that something bothered you.
You didn’t have time to answer her, because Donghyuck grabbed your arm to smoothly turn your body around and shift your attention to him. You felt a lump in your throat, your breath trapped inside your lungs. There he stood, messy hair falling onto his eyes, black graphic shirt and jeans, a Cuban link around his neck and matching rings on his fingers contrasting with the dark colors of his outfit. He looked gorgeous.
He flashed you a smile, raising his voice so that you could hear him. “Hi” he said. He simply said hi. Yet a group of butterflies started dancing in your stomach. You said it back.
Jimin got the message and leaned in your ear. “I think I saw some girls I know from one of my classes. I’d better leave you two” she said and turned on her heel to leave.
Donghyuck waved Jimin off and grabbed your hand. He then bent a bit lower and leaned in your ear. “Should we go somewhere quieter?” he asked you, his low voice vibrating in your ear. You could only nod.
Donghyuck walked in the front and you followed behind him, still holding his hand. He led you outside the house, towards the back yard. Plastic cups were scattered all over the grassy ground, two girls passed out beside some bushes, a guy sipping alcohol from a glass bottle and dancing on his own. Yeah, parties were weird.
You felt weirded out and uncomfortable at the sight and Donghyuck sensed it. He squeezed your hand and you looked up at him. He nodded to the large swing beside the barbecue stand and motioned you to go and sit there.
You sat down on the swing and Donghyuck copied your movement. He leaned his body towards the back so that it touched the back of the swing and with a swift motion, he pushed his feet on the ground and the swing started moving. You lifted your feet off the ground and let Donghyuck rock the swing smoothly.
You sat in silence for a moment, that comfortable silence that only existed when you were with Donghyuck, which was interrupted by his honey voice. “I don’t like parties” he simply said.
You turned to look at him but he was staring into the void in front of him. “ I have bad memories when it comes to parties” he said.
You didn’t speak. You didn’t want to. You always let him open up to you without interrupting his stream of thoughts.
Donghyuck drew in a sharp breath. “Remember that story I told you about that party? That one when I went home the next day and threw up all over the door? Yeah that one. I couldn’t bear going to something like this again when the last time I did, I didn’t even do it for myself. Did you know that I started drinking so that kids at my new school thought I was cool? That’s how I ended up spilling my guts all over my mother’s rug.”
He turned to look at you. “Pretty disgusting, huh?” he chuckled.
You chuckled too. You lowered your gaze to your feet. “Then why did you come here tonight?” you asked him.
“I don’t know” he said without even thinking about his answer. “I guess I came for my friends again.“ He paused for a second and spoke again “And I guess I also came to see you, mostly” he trailed off.
You stilled at his words and you thanked yourself for staring at your shoes and not looking at him, because he would be able to see the embarrassingly bright red color of your cheeks.
“But you see me everyday. We hang out all the time” you said.
“I know” he said. That’s all he said. What was that even supposed to mean?
Before you could speak, Donghyuck got up from the swing and extended his arm in front of you. “Come on, let's get out of here. This party sucks, we both hate it, so why waste our time? Let’s leave. Me and you.” he said.
You looked up at him. “Hyuck,” you trailed off “as much as I hate this party and as much as I want to leave with you, I promised Jimin to keep her company” you really hated that you had to say this.
“Jimin has found other people to hang out with, she’ll be fine, I know it.” Donghyuck said, a glimpse of hope in the tone of his voice.
That glimpse vanished when you rejected his offer for the second time, the corners of his mouth dropping to a frown. “I’m sorry Hyuck, I can’t” you said.
Donghyuck nodded to himself and put his hands inside his pockets. He cleared his throat but his voice still came out a bit raspy and low. “It’s okay, I get it.”
Your heart shuttered upon seeing him like this. You really didn’t want to make him feel bad, but you had also promised Jimin to be there for her since she wanted this so much. And you couldn’t let yourself break that promise, even though it was actually a bit trivial. Because in all honesty, Jimin would really be fine.
But also a small part of you was too flustered to spend time alone with Donghyuck at that moment. You felt as if you weren’t capable of controlling your emotions; your feelings kept growing stronger and stronger, and his presence alone was enough to make you feel overwhelmed with love.
The back door opened and someone came running through it. “Donghyuck, dude!” a guy you didn’t quite recognize yelled and came to grab Donghyuck by his arm. “You’re missing out on all the fuuuun my dude, come in back insideeee we’re gonna get fucking wasted!” the guy was yelling and patting Donghyuck on the back of his neck while dragging him inside the frat house.
Donghyuck said something you didn’t quite catch, and he tried to let go of the guy’s hold on him, but he failed to do so. The guy had already taken him to the back door and inside the house.
The door closed shut behind them and you left sitting on the swing by yourself, rocking it slightly with your feet. You shivered under the cool evening breeze and wrapped your arms around your body to shield yourself from the cold.
You didn’t want to go back inside. You promised Jimin to keep her company, but a frat party was the last place you wanted to be at, at that time. You grabbed your phone and, speaking of the devil, a few texts from Jimin appeared on your screen.
[Jiminie]
spotted yangyang. pretty sure he took a girl to a room
[Jiminie]
doesn’t he a gf?
You sighed reading Jimin’s texts. You really had to have a talk with Yangyang. And Jimin, for that matter. At least you knew that he was safe and that you probably won’t have to take care of him like a baby after you leave the party.
[you]
let him be, we’ll kick his ass tomorrow
[you]
where are you?
The text you wrote was delivered for the next 15 minutes. Jimin hadn’t read your message. All of a sudden, your hands became sweaty and your chest felt heavy as if a rock had fallen onto it.
Why didn’t she text me back?
Worry started welling up inside you and you rushed inside the house looking for your best friend. The music had got louder, the crowd was bigger, the smell of alcohol and weed more prominent. You went running up and down the stairs, kicking open every single door you found on your way.
Still, Jimin was nowhere to be found.
You stood at the edge of the stairway for a second to catch your breath. You opened your phone to call her and started walking towards the bathroom, the last room you didn’t check.
The phone was beeping in your ear, but Jimin didn’t pick up. You exhaled sharply and opened the bathroom door, still holding the phone in your ear. The sweat on your palms and the rock on your chest magically disappeared when you saw Jimin kneeling in front of the toilet with an arm holding her hair back out of her face.
A sigh of relief escaped your lips and you stopped the phone call. “Thank god you’re safe. I was so freaked out you bitch” you said and crouched down beside her. “Are you okay?” you asked her.
Jimin nodded and let her hair fall down her shoulders. She wiped her lips with the back of her palm before she spoke. “I’m okay. I had a bit too much alcohol and I threw up. But I feel better now. Sorry for making you worried” she said.
You opened your arms and she fell into your embrace. You stroked her head lightly, as you could feel her warm tears wetting the fabric of your shirt on your shoulder. She promised not to drink too much, but your gut somehow knew you’d better stay there at the party because something like this would be inevitable. “It's okay Jiminie, I was the one who left you alone, I promised to keep you company” you said.
She pulled back from the hug. “I guess we both broke each other’s promise” she chuckled and you did the same.
Jimin sniffled and wiped her already dry tears. “Why are you alone? Where is Donghyuck?” she asked you.
“We were sitting outside but then a random guy came and dragged him back inside. He seemed pretty wasted” you replied.
Jimin’s eyes widened and she stood up abruptly. “Oh no, oh no no no” she said.
You stood up too. “What? Jimin, what's wrong?” you asked her curiously.
“If it's the guy I think it is, then Donghyuck might be stupid drunk right now, or even worse, under the influence. We need to find him. Now” she said and ran out the bathroom and down the stairs, skipping a couple of steps while doing so.
You followed right after her, the rock falling on your chest again. You hated parties. This was final. Things like this are unavoidable in parties, and you hated the fact that your friends had to go through shit every single time.
The music wasn’t as loud as earlier and the living room didn’t feel as crowded. Most of the people were gathered outside in the backyard, or were already passed out on the beds or the floors of the bedrooms.
You and Jimin spotted a group of people gathered in a circle in the middle of the living room. Everybody was sitting on the carpeted floor, bottles of alcohol scattered everywhere around them. You noticed that a guy was holding a blunt and kept rotating it to every person gathered in that circle. Oh no.
Their voices were mixed in with the music coming from the DJ set, so all you could see was their mouths moving without saying anything meaningful. The smoke of the blunt made the living room foggy and your lungs were struggling to work properly in between the crowded room.
The stinging sensation in your eyes caused by the smoke and flashing lights made your eyes watery and you could not tell apart any face in the crowd, except for Jimin who was standing next to you.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Jimin whispered.
You rubbed your eyes in order to clear your vision without even caring if this would ruin your makeup. The faces on the people sitting on the floor became clearer, and it didn’t take you long before you spotted the familiar chocolate eyes looking drowsy, honey fingers placing the blunt in between soft plump lips.
A girl passed Donghyuck the blunt and he took a long and slow drag from it, exhaling the smoke into the thick air creating smoke rings. He then gave the blunt to the person next to him and he leaned back supporting his body with his elbows.
Donghyuck was wasted. Whatever that guy did to him in such a little time got to him immediately. His chocolate eyes were drowned in a pool of red, his hair looking messier than before and his clothes were all wrinkled.
You stood there frozen looking at him. If you had tried to keep him away from that guy, he wouldn’t have ended up in this situation. He had told you that he was pressured by other people to do stuff he didn’t want to do, but was he that naive to let this happen to himself once again? How many times has that even happened before?
Your thoughts had carried you away, your vision was blurry again and your ears had blocked away all the sounds. An arm slung around your shoulders and you jolted up at the sudden touch.
“Where have you been bestie? You came rrright at the perfect time. We’re playing spin the bottle” Yangnyang said drowsily, his eyes painted in the same red shade as Donghyuck’s.
“Oh you’re here too, come on, sit down” he said to Jimin and dragged us both to the circle on the floor. He used both his arms and his full force to sit us down next to each other, and then he got up to sit across from us where he was previously sitting.
The girl to your left offered you the blunt but you rejected it without a second thought. Everyone was either stupid high or stupid drunk, some of them were both. You were suffocating. You felt like a total stranger there, even the existence of your own body was making you anxious.
You turned to Jimin on your right. “We need to go home” you mouthed and she kept nodding to herself constantly.
Your eyes roamed around the small circle, trying to find a way to get up and leave. But before you could do that, the chocolate pair of eyes that was now drowned in deep red, locked in with yours. A sense of déjà vu ran through your entire body, shivering under his gaze. This cannot happen again.
Jimin took your hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. She was uncomfortable and so were you. You tried to get up and leave, but the girl next to you dragged you back down.
A guy gulped down an entire bottle of alcohol before he put it down in the middle of the circle. You didn’t even bother to look at what type of alcohol it was.
Yangyang moved in closer to the middle and grabbed the bottle. “Alright, I'll go first!” he shouted and with a swift motion, he spun the bottle fast.
The bottle was spinning at a rapid speed until it came to a stop, its two ends pointing on two people you didn’t know. Apparently, you were the only one who didn’t know them because everyone else was super excited for their kiss. Or at least they were too high to understand what they were doing.
The bottle spun again. And again. And again. You lost count of how many rounds you were in, the same way your eyes were lost in Donghyuck’s. You kept him under your gaze, watching his every move and trying to justify the way he was acting. You had never seen him like this, so out of himself. What happened to the boy you saw a couple hours ago? The boy you knew ever since you were five? It felt as if he had almost lost whatever it was that made him different from the others. Right now, he looked like every other frat boy in that house.
But he didn’t really look at you. In fact, his mind seemed to be roaming around, not really paying attention to any of his surroundings except for when someone would pass him the blunt.
The bottle kept spinning and almost everyone had kissed someone else at this point. Yangyang took his fair share of the game as he kept on kissing a different girl in almost every single round.
Jimin squeezed your hand again and you realized how uncomfortable she might have felt. This time, you wouldn’t let any of the others stop you from leaving. Your friend wasn’t feeling well, but so were you. So you let go of Jimin’s hand and stood up, ready to leave.
As if fate was against you, you heard a burst of cheers and whistles coming from everyone gathered in the room. You regretted not leaving sooner, because the one end of the bottle was pointing at your side. And the other end was pointing at Donghyuck.
Cold sweat ran down your temples and a tight knot appeared in your stomach. This can’t be. You froze there standing still, staring at the bottle on your feet. You lifted your gaze from your feet to meet Donghyuck’s, who was staring back at you with a smug expression painting his face. From the corner of your eye, you could spot Yangyang grinning like a madman, his entire dentition on full display.
As if he did it on purpose, Donghyuck took a long drag of the blunt before standing up too so that his eyes leveled yours. The smugness on his face never left his features, his drowsy red eyes pouring into yours.
He slowly walked towards you, stopping right in front of your standing figure. His face was now way too close to yours. You could smell the alcohol and God knows what else on his breath, the heat of his body radiating to yours.
Donghyuck parted his lips and your breath got caught in your throat. His body somehow got even closer to yours. He tilted his head to the side and leaned against your ear. His hot breath was fanning over your ear, his lips softly grazing your skin. With a voice hoarse and low, he spoke loud enough for you to barely hear him. “Don’t worry sweetheart, we’ve done this before.”
You hadn’t even noticed which end of the bottle was pointing at you, but Donghyuck took the initiative himself and smacked his plump lips onto yours. His touch caught you off guard. You were standing there doing nothing, while Donghyuck placed both of his hands on the sides of your neck, his lips moving aggressively yet smoothly on top of yours.
You waited for him to pull away so that you could leave the party as soon as possible, but his intentions seemed to be different. He bit on your bottom lip in an attempt to part your lips so that you could kiss him back. You hated to admit it to yourself but it definitely worked. You parted your mouth just enough and moved your lips in sync with his smooth plump ones, the taste of alcohol from his lips transfering to yours.
The knot on your stomach kept on tightening more and more with each second passing. Your pulse rate had reached an infinite number of beats per minute and you were sure that your legs would not be able to hold you for much longer.
As if Donghyuck read your mind, he pulled away after leaving a last soft peck on your lips, removing his hands from the sides of your neck. He pulled back smirking at you as you were still standing frozen, your lips still feeling numb and swollen..
You had blocked away everyone else that was around you. You couldn’t hear anything of what they were saying. Your brain was still trying to comprehend what had just happened.
With a quick snap back to reality, you grabbed Jimin’s hand and turned your back to everyone else, storming off through the door of the frat house.
The night of the party you slept over at Jimin’s dorm. As soon as you exited the frat house, you went straight to Jimin’s car and you offered to drive since Jimin wasn’t in the right place to drive. She was still feeling unwell after she threw up all the alcohol she had consumed previously the same night, so you wanted to make sure she would be fine. But honestly, you weren’t feeling well either, and it wasn’t because you had drank.
Your mind kept replaying the moment Donghyuck kissed you like a video on loop. You were suddenly fifteen again, playing a silly game of spin the bottle with your friends where you happened to kiss your silly little crush. But now it happened again. And it wasn’t a silly game or a silly crush anymore.
Why was Donghyuck so complicating? All those times you hung out together, you never noticed him having any romantic intentions towards you. Everything he did or said was purely in the terms of friendship. But the way he approached you, touched you and kissed you at the party told you otherwise. Were you that blind not to notice his intentions?
You tried to excuse his behavior, saying that he was high or drunk and didn’t know what he was doing. Which is not necessarily a lie. It wasn’t his fault that he got peer pressured into drinking and behaving like one of the frat boys. He is the complete opposite of a troublemaker and ill-intended person; no wonder people found it so easy to talk him into things.
Plus, it was only just a game. He sure didn’t think of it as something much of a big deal, so why would you give it so much importance?
You mentally slapped yourself for thinking like this, because Jimin, who was already fast asleep, would yell at you for excusing Donghyuck’s behavior. He’s not a kid, he’s a grown-up, he knows what he’s doing, she would say. You had to wait until the morning to hear her scolding. The thing is, she wouldn’t be completely wrong about this.
During the thunderstorm of thoughts pouring inside your brain, a bold lightning struck in between. What if you confessed to him? Your heart couldn’t bear hiding what it felt for any longer. At that moment, you didn’t care if it would ruin your relationship with Donghyuck. He has acted recklessly enough quite a few times now, so you were allowed to be reckless for once too. He had to know how you felt, because this is what would make you feel at ease with yourself. He can’t find it so easy to kiss you in a drunk game and not feel anything either. After the spark that lit up with the touch of your lips and the butterflies that danced around the knot in your stomach, you knew you had to tell him. But the problem was that you didn’t know how to do it.
For the meantime, you had curled up in Jimin’s bed hugging yourself tightly, crying your eyes out until sweet sleep brushed over them and closed them shut.
The morning of the next day you and Jimin went out to grab breakfast together. She was still feeling a bit weird because of last night’s events, but she said that a plate of chocolate chip pancakes would cure her hangover.
You were fiddling with your fork, scraping it at the surface of the plate, a screeching noise coming from it. Jimin visibly shivered at the sound and you stopped it.
“So,” Jimin began, swallowing a big piece of the pancakes, “wanna talk about last night?” she asked.
You put your fork down and sat back, crossing your arms. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. Everything is so confusing” you answered.
“Um, that’s exactly why we need to talk about it” Jimin said. She drank a full glass of water and then set it down on the table with a thud. It was so loud, you thought that the table might have broken.
“Donghyuck literally kissed you and we’re gonna completely ignore that? Come on Y/n, we cannot pretend it didn’t happen. Well, at least you cannot pretend it didn’t happen” Jimin said.
“Drop it Jimin, he was drunk, or high, or whatever.”
“No he was not. Well he was, but not that much. He knew what he was doing. Look, Y/n, Donghyuck has been a great friend to you and I know how much you love him for that. But when it comes to the romantic part of your relationship, he’s been nothing but an ass.”
You sighed and didn’t say anything in return. Jimin was right. He really was an ass when it came to romantic relationships. But you couldn’t ignore your feelings. You knew the way you felt when he touched you, when he leaned close to your ear and whispered to you, when his lips danced with yours.
The question is, did he feel the same?
You broke the silence by speaking up. “I think I’m gonna confess to him” you said.
Jimin almost choked on her food. She started coughing and you immediately got up and patted her on her back to prevent any accidents. You filled in her glass with water and helped her drink a bit.
“You what?!” Jimin practically screamed and you were thankful that the restaurant was not full that morning.
“I thought about it last night and I can’t keep suppressing my feelings, But I don’t know how to do it and I still think that Donghyuck might not like me back, hell, he only sees my as a friend, but at the same time I felt it when he kissed me, it felt different than the first time he did it back at that goodbye party before high school and God I hate parties becau-“
“Hey hey hey! Calm down bestie” Jimin interrupted you. You were panting, trying to catch your breath. You didn’t realize you went on an auto-rant mode until after Jimin spoke.
“It’s okay, I know it’s hard to do it. But if you finally feel confident enough to tell him, you should do it. We’ll think of a way to do that, together.” Jimin reassured you and you nodded to yourself.
Speaking of the devil, your phone screen lit up and a ting sound echoed in the room. You picked it up, only to see a text from Donghyuck.
[Hyuck]
see you at the park later?
You sighed again and made a mental note to text him back in a minute when you would have calmed down from your previous outbreak.
You really had to tell him, and you had to do it soon.
Despite your initial denial, you agreed to meet Donghyuck later that day at the park, at your usual spot. You were contemplating whether to meet him or not, because even though you wanted to confess, your anxiety and fear of a bad outcome got the best of you.
You didn’t mind if you got rejected. You really didn’t care at all. At that moment, you just wanted to get it out of your chest. A few weeks ago, you would be dreading the possibility of Donghyuck rejecting your feelings and ruining your friendship. But right now you had none of that in mind.
You rode your bike on the way to the park in order to clear your mind with some fresh air. The sun had almost set and the park was becoming emptier. You spotted Donghyuck sitting on the ground with his back resting on a tree trunk. He had rode there on his bike too.
You went up to him and he only noticed your presence until after you sat down beside him. He turned his head to your side and he flushed you one of his precious bright smiles, the one that always made your heart skip a bit.
You didn’t want to lie to yourself, but your confidence from earlier magically vanished the moment you saw his face.
“How have you been? It was a mess last night” you spoke first and his smile dropped at the sound of your voice, his plump lips forming a soft frown, eyes falling down to his lap.
“Don’t remind me of that” Donghyuck said. He paused for a second before he spoke again. “I actually wanted to apologize for that. For whatever happened. I clearly didn’t mean anything I did or said, so if I did anything bad or weird, don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know. I promised myself I wouldn’t get carried away, but guess what! I did nothing but that. I’m sorry.”
You waited for him to finish with what he wanted to say before you said anything else. You went closer to him and rubbed his back in sympathy.
It took you a while to take in everything he said. What did he mean by “I didn’t mean anything I said or did”? Did he regret kissing you? Didn’t he feel the same spark, the same tingle, the same knot in his stomach?
You tried to push these thoughts away and focus on your feelings. It was time you put your feelings first, or rather, yourself. Your heart was beating out of your chest, blood rushing into your cheeks, as you gathered all your confidence and courage before you spoke up.
“Donghyuck?” you said in a soft, quiet voice, barely above a whisper. Donghyuck lifted his head, his chocolate eyes diving deep into yours, his skin glimmering under the moonlight like frozen honey.
That’s when your voice got stuck in your throat, and you stood there staring at him and he was staring back at you. “Wanna go on a ride with our bikes? To clear our minds?” you said.
He nodded and his plump lips curved upwards, his eyes creasing a bit on the sides. This is not what you wanted to say, but at least you said something.
You wanted to say so much more. So many things occupied the back of your head, you wanted to scream at him for giving you all these mixed signals, you wanted to scold him for acting so immature, you wanted to hug him and tell him that he’s too good for this world, you wanted to feel his touch and warmth on your body. But you did nothing for it.
You had to think of a way to confess to him without having to say any words. Otherwise, you would fuck up. Or you wouldn’t be able to do it at all, and you would be left with the burden upon your chest.
In the meantime, you were reminded how beautiful you felt every time you were with him. You relaxed, you laughed, you cried, you smiled, you frowned, you were stressed and then you were not. There was only one boy in all the world that could wake up every single emotion inside you and that boy was none other than Lee Donghyuck.
You still quite couldn’t put your finger on what it was that made him so different from the other boys. Maybe the fact that he was just a guy, like everyone else, but he seemed so gorgeous in your eyes. Maybe it was because you knew him in a way no one else did. That’s why you felt the need to share your feelings with him, because no matter what, you somehow knew that he would always love you back, even as just a friend.
You were still mad at him for acting this way. But you could not completely ignore the person you knew because of one reckless incident. You knew Donghyuck very well, and you knew that he was better than this. You weren’t in the right mood to confront him after seeing how bad he felt with himself, so you chose to put whatever happened at the party towards the back of your head for a while and enjoy your time with him.
There is always the right time for everything.
“Aeri broke up with me” Yangyang announced, with a frown on his face that could reach the floor.
“She did? Yeah, I’m not surprised. You shouldn’t be either” you said.
“But why?” Yangyang whined.
“Are you serious right now?” Jimin spoke up “You literally hook up with every other girl, plus, you never gave her any attention! And you have the audacity to cry about it.”
You were walking on campus, heading towards your respective classes. It had been two days since the frat party, and Yangyang’s girlfriend found out about his doings and she finally snapped.
Donghyuck caught up to you and joined the conversation. “Oof, I found you guys, I was looking for you everywhere. Wait what happened?” he asked as soon as he noticed Yangyang’s frown in his expression.
“Aeri happened” you said.
“Who's Aeri?” Donghyuck asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
Jimin was the one to speak up this time. “Yangyang’s girlfriend. Well, now ex-girlfriend. It took her a bit long to come to her senses but I’m happy she finally did.” She turned to Yangyang and slapped him in the back of his head. “See, you never even mentioned her name, you idiot! You’re gross, honestly” Jimin said with a disgusted expression.
Donghyuck smiled slightly at Jimin’s comment, but none of them saw him but you. Was it just your idea or did he look extra fine today?
Jimin walked to your side and linked her arm with yours. “Now if you will excuse us boys, we have to talk about girl things, mhm?” Jimin said and dragged you away from them, leaving them walking behind you.
“So, I thought of the perfect idea” Jimin whispered, lowering her head.
“About what?” you asked.
“You will make a quiz and send it to him” Jimin said. You stopped at your track to take in what she just said. “What?”
“You want to confess to Donghyuck, right? So I did some research and came across this quiz that you supposedly send to your crush and then they have to respond and send it back to you I guess. What do you think?” Jimin said.
“It sounds childish. Yeah I don’t think it will work” you said.
“But why? Let’s give it a try. Please” Jimin whined and you couldn’t do anything but agree with her. “Okay, listen. I’ll see what I’ll do. If I feel confident enough to send it to him then we’re good, otherwise we’ll have to think of something else” you said.
Jimin screeched and hugged you tightly. “Thank you thank you thank you! Oh my god, I really think it will work. Plus, it’s not gonna be a face to face confession so don’t be nervous about it. You got this. I’ll meet you later after classes to work on it. Love you bestie!” Jimin said and ran off to her class, leaving you walking on your own in the campus.
Maybe her idea wasn’t that bad after all. This couldn’t go too wrong, right?
Later that day you met Jimin at your favorite café. You found her sitting at your usual table, scrolling on her phone.
Yangyang decided to tag along this time too. You bumped into him on your way out of campus and invited him for coffee too. You didn’t tell Jimin about it, but you were sure she wouldn’t mind.
You sat down next to her, and Yangyang went for the seat on the other side of the table, taking out his phone.
“Let’s start, take out your laptop” Jimin said and you did so. You opened an empty form sheet and stared at the cursor appearing and disappearing on the screen. “Well, how do I start?” you asked.
Jimin took the lead and turned the laptop to her side so that she could type on the keyboard easier. “So, we'll start with his name. Write something like, ‘Hi Donghyuck, if you’re receiving this it’s because I have a big fat crush on you and I don’t know how to tell you-‘”
“Shhhh,” you interrupted her “don’t say his name” you whisper shouted.
Yangyang raised his head from his phone screen and joined the conversation. “Don’t worry about it bestie, it’s not as if we don’t know about it. It’s so obvious that you like Hyuck to the point it hurts my eyes every time I see you looking at him. Can’t you be more discreet about it? What the fuck are you two even doing by the way?”
You were left speechless and kept blinking, staring at Yangyang. Of course he would figure it out, he’s been your best friend since you were literally babies. You shouldn’t be surprised by this.
“We’re making a confession quiz to help Y/n tell Donghyuck that she likes him. I saw it online and apparently it works wonders” Jimin said.
Yangyang stayed silent for a few seconds before he started laughing hysterically. You and Jimin looked at each other and then back at Yangyang, waiting for him to stop with his laughing outburst.
You waited until he finally caught his breath, wiping a tear that slipped from the corner of his eye with his finger. “You guys are seriously so funny” he said.
“What's so funny about it, Yangyang? Hm?” Jimin asked him.
“I just find it such a stupid idea. Don’t you think it’s a bit childish? It won’t work” he said.
“That's what I thought too, but I’m gonna give it a try” you said.
“Okay, whatever” Yangyang said and went back to scrolling on his phone.
“Don’t give him any notice, Y/n. Let’s move on” Jimin said and started typing on the keyboard.
“So, we'll start with questions such as ‘Did you know that I liked you?’ and ‘If yes, then how did you know?’ and then ‘Do you like me back?’ and stuff” Jimin spoke while typing at the same time.
“Wait Jimin, don’t you think these are a bit too straightforward?” you asked. Jimin stopped typing and looked at you dead in the eye. “Are you kidding me? This is how a confession works, hello?” Jimin answered, full of irony. Through the corner of your eye, you saw Yangyang scoffing.
“Okay so next,” Jimin started typing again “you need to ask him the important stuff, which is what he thinks of you. And that includes what his first impression of you was, how attractive he finds you and how much he likes your personality.”
“How about we ask him something like ‘Is this awkward?’ because trust me, it probably is” you were the one who suggested a question this time.
Jimin wasn’t entirely sure if you were joking or not, be she agreed and typed it after the previous one. “Now, let’s end it with a precious moment between the two of you. One that he remembers, it might be anything” Jimin said.
She typed fast, her fingers running on top of the keyboard. Her eyes never left the screen, following the letters without even peaking at the keyboard to see what she was typing. She then pressed the enter key with all her strength and sat back on her chair. “And we’re done. It’s sent” she said.
The moment she said that the quiz was sent, you started trembling. You didn’t feel nervous up until that point. What if everything went downhill after this? It’s just a stupid quiz, you thought. Sure, the quiz was stupid, but your crush wasn’t. You were worried that once Dongyuck sees the quiz, he’ll start seeing you differently. You were only hoping that this differently didn’t mean negative, because if it did, your entire relationship with him would change. And you didn’t want to lose such an important person in your life over a not-so-stupid crush.
You didn’t see Donghyuck on campus the next day. You were sure about it because ever since Jimin sent him the confession quiz, he hasn’t left your mind. You kept looking for him everywhere but not because you wanted to see him. It was rather the opposite. You knew that if you saw his face after knowing that you had confessed to him, you wouldn’t be able to utter a single word. You avoided him.
You had to thank him, though, for making your job easier. Not a single sight of him on campus for the entire day. Good news.
But the bad news was that he didn’t text you throughout the day at all, which was odd. He would usually ask to meet at the park, or just text you about not anything of importance. But there was no sign of him that day.
A lot of thoughts formed in your mind at the same time. In the worst case scenario, there was something wrong with him. In the best case scenario, he felt way too awkward because of the confession quiz and he didn’t want to do anything with you. You couldn’t explain how this was the best case scenario, but you were worried sick about him. So you hoped for the latter.
You didn’t want to text him or call him though. You wanted to avoid him, right? Your current behavior didn’t match the confidence you had a couple days ago. It felt like you were more intimate with him now, you had exposed a piece of your inner self and you were scared that your actions would make him feel uncomfortable.
Yet, you decided to give him time. You wanted to wait for his response. Whatever it would be. You thought that your confession would help you ease your mind, but you’ve been thinking about him even more now. What if he didn’t feel the same? Of course, you would respect his feelings. You can’t force people to like you, or love you. But deep down, you knew it would hurt. You would still continue to love him even if he didn’t love you back. You cannot turn on and off feelings like a light switch. Loving him took a long time and getting over him would take even longer. You didn’t want to get over him. You probably couldn’t. So you wanted to keep loving him and hoped that maybe, there was a slight chance that he would love you back.
However, you didn’t see Donghyuck on campus the day after that either. But this time, you didn’t know if it was because you were avoiding him or because he just didn’t come to any of his classes.
Worry washed over you when neither Yangyang or Jimin had heard of him. “I thought he would be talking with you” Yangyang told you. Yeah, you thought the same thing.
After your classes ended for the day, you decided to go by his dorm and see him in person. You still felt like avoiding him but you didn’t have another choice at this point. You wanted to see him.
You put on your earphones and let the music keep you company while walking. Your heart rate was slowly increasing with each step you took, but you couldn’t explain if it was because you felt anxious or because your heart followed the beat of the music.
After listening to a couple of songs, you found yourself standing right outside Donghyuck’s dorm door. Taking off your earphones, you stood there still, waiting. You raised your arm hesitantly, knuckles touching the wooden surface of the door. You slightly pulled your hand away from the door and then your knuckles touched the door again.
Knock. Knock.
You drew a step back, arm falling to your side. And you waited.
One, two, three, four, five, si-
Donghyuck appeared behind the door, wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a t-shirt, hair messy and eyes droopy.
“Hi, um, sorry d-did I wake you up?” you said.
“Um, no it’s fine, uh, is there something wrong?” Donghyuck said, rubbing his eye with his fingers.
And then you noticed the flush color painting his cheeks and the way he kept his eyes on the ground, not trying to maintain eye contact.
“I was just worried, you know? We haven’t seen you in two days and I just wanted to see if you-“
“I’m fine Y/n, there’s nothing to worry about, now please, I was in the middle of something so, uh, I’ll see you later, bye” Donghyuck interrupted you and closed the door right in your face, without even sparing you a glance.
What was this all about? Why was he acting like this?
You blinked away the tears that were forming in the corners of your eyes and walked away.
“Girl, you’re not the one avoiding him, he’s the one avoiding you!” Jimin said, munching on a cheeseburger.
She swallowed her bite and spoke again. “What I think is, he’s in love with you too, but he’s an even bigger coward than I thought he was. I believe he got so flustered by the quiz we sent him, but don’t worry, he’ll come to his senses sooner or later.”
You rested your head on your palm and sighed heavily. “I don’t know Jiminie, his behavior is so confusing lately. I kinda regret sending him that quiz”.
“Uh oh, don’t say that again. You confessed and well done for that, so now it’s up to him to decide how the relationship between you two will go. Don’t blame yourself for how a man thinks. You never know what goes on inside those pea sized brains of theirs” Jimin said.
“So you say that he’s ignoring me because he likes me back?” you asked, a question which was addressed more to yourself.
“That's exactly what I’m saying,” Jimin said. “I mean, he couldn’t even look at you and his cheeks were all blushy and stuff? Girl, do we see the same things? Because this clearly shows he has lost his shit over you.”
You remained silent for a while, leaving Jimin to eat her cheeseburger in peace and allowing yourself to sort all of your thoughts that were scrambled inside your mind. Maybe she was right. Again. Her intuition regarding people’s feelings and behaviors is remarkable. She always left you wondering how she could be so good at reading other people.
You thought you were good at it too, until this boy named Lee Donghyuck came into your life. It wasn't that hard to understand him as a little boy, but now that you’re all adults, it seems like he has built walls around his heart and it’s not easy to read him anymore. The problem was that you didn’t know why he did this. He used to allow himself to be open and vulnerable with you. At least you thought so.
Now you are left wondering what’s in his mind and what is it that makes him act this way. Was the quiz that awkward? Did he see you in a different way now?
Questions like this kept messing with you and you wished you could unsend that quiz if it were to prevent this outcome. But you decided to give him a little bit more time. You were friends after all, right? Friends always come back to each other, no matter what. Right?
The next couple of days Donghyuck had been ignoring you still. Jimin said there was no point in feeling sad about it and that he would just snap one moment and realize what an asshole he was.
You hadn’t told Yangyang about any of that. He had mentioned the quiz once, asking you something like how you made it and what you wrote exactly, but nothing more specific about Donghyuck. So you decided to let it go, he wouldn’t understand anyway.
You were sitting at the park alone, leaning against a tree while watching the sun slowly hiding behind the hill, waiting for the moon to rise and take its place in the sky. The cheerful screams of little kids were gradually fading away and the park was becoming quieter, the only sound interrupting the silence from time to time was the barking of dogs.
You felt peaceful. You found a moment in time to have for yourself, a small escape from all of last week’s dramatic events. You breathed in the fresh air, you let your body relax and your mind roam around the scenery of nature in front of you.
This inner serenity didn’t last long though. Your phone chimed in your pocket and the screen lit up, the intense brightness hurting your eyes due to the contrast with the now darker sky.
You lowered the brightness in order to take a better look at the text on your screen. You squinted your eyes a bit further, this time not because of the brightness.
[Hyuck]
i really need to talk to you
it’s important
you know where to find me
i’m at your favorite place
You kept rereading Donghyuck’s texts over and over. So he ignores me for days and now all of a sudden he wants us to meet and he puzzles me with a riddle? What the hell?
You turned off your phone and stared blankly in front of you, trying to think of what place Donghyuck was talking about. You didn’t even care about what he wanted to tell you. You had to find him first.
The gears inside your brain got to work, spinning quickly and digging through your memories to help you find the answer. But you were already in your favorite place. The park. At least it was your favorite at the moment. So if he were at the park, where could he be? You would be able to see him by now.
The gears in your brain suddenly stopped moving and the light bulb shone brightly above your head. You knew exactly where he was. And it wasn’t the park. You grabbed your things quickly and rushed out of the park, heading towards the place you could never imagine that you’ll ever see again.
You had been walking for only ten minutes and your legs were hurting and started feeling wobbly. The one time you actually needed your bike, you didn’t have it. A sigh left your lips and you continued walking, looking at your phone from time to time in case Donghyuck texted you something else or called you.
You could tell that you were almost there by the red and gold lighting attacking your eyes, contrasting with the darkness of your surroundings. You squinted your eyes as a reaction to the sudden appearance of light, walking towards the source of red and gold. The smell of butter popcorn lured you in and that’s how you knew you were at the exact place you needed to be.
You stood under the bright sign, the same white balloons climbing up the pillars on each side of the gate, confetti sprinkled and glued in between them, fairy lights trailing upwards to the glowing sign. ‘Welcome to Dreamland’.
You stood in awe. You never thought you would visit this place again. It's been years since the last time you visited the amusement park and it felt strange yet so familiar sitting there, looking at the place that felt like your childhood home.
Your eyes were roaming around and you just stood still, not moving a single step further. For a moment, you had forgotten the reason why you were there in the first place.
The scent of the familiar cologne was roaming in the air, snapping you out of your thoughts. Donghyuck cleared his throat and you turned around to face him.
He looked beautiful. The lights of the amusement park were reflecting in his eyes, his hair fell softly covering his forehead, his plump lips curved upwards to a smile.
You noticed that he held his arms behind his back, but you didn’t question it. You just stared right into his eyes, just like he stared into yours. “Hi” he said, his voice blurred among the music and random screams from little kids running around the amusement park.
“Hi” you greeted him back, and then both of you remained silent, looking at each other. Your eyes started stinging from keeping them open for a long time, so you lowered your gaze to your feet.
Donghyuck sensed the awkwardness and cleared his throat again before he spoke up. “I’m sorry, Y/n” he said.
Your head jolted up at the sound of his honey voice and your gaze locked in with his. You parted your lips to speak, but he beat you to it. “I’m sorry. I know my behavior was shit. I was an asshole. I was ignoring you when I shouldn’t. I’m surprised that you came to see me after the way I treated you. So thank you" he said.
You didn’t want to speak. You didn’t have the courage to do so, but you also didn’t know what to tell him. Instead, you waited for him to continue talking.
Donghyuck’s gaze shifted from your eyes to other places around him and he pursed his lips. “You know, I received that quiz you sent me” he trailed off.
You gulped at the mention of the quiz and suddenly your heartbeat picked up a pace so fast that was probably beyond human.
“I didn’t-” Donghyuck started, “I didn’t send it back to you because I wanted to answer it now, with you here” he said.
You found yourself incapable of speaking at that moment. You simply nodded and diverted your gaze back to your feet.
“Please look at me Y/n” Donghyuck said and you froze, slowly lifting your head to see him looking directly at you. You could tell he was nervous by the way he inhaled sharply and the soft red color that painted his cheeks.
“I didn’t know you felt this way about me,” he started, “so when I saw that quiz I was so troubled. Maybe you were obvious with it, maybe not, but what’s certain is that I was too nervous around you to even notice anything.”
You tried to process his words and come to a conclusion. Everything that came out of his mouth didn’t make sense to you. Why would he be nervous around me?
Donghyuck gulped and continued. “Do you remember how we met?” he asked, but the question was mostly addressed to himself rather than you. You smiled at the memory. How could you forget such a pretty boy?
“It was here, this exact place. We were both running, we bumped into each other, fell down and then dropped your cotton candy” he said and started laughing. You did the same.
“And then we became friends. Inseparable friends. You have always been the sweetest friend I’ve ever had. You are kind, funny, you make me feel comfortable, you’re always there for me even though I behave so shitty sometimes” he said.
“And you’re so beautiful. I find myself staring at you when you’re looking away and I just ask myself how can a person be this beautiful” he said, his voice getting gradually quieter, just a little bit louder than a whisper.
“Do you know why I stopped contacting you when I left?” Donghyuck asked, this time the question addressed to you.
You cleared your throat before speaking, voice barely audible. “No.” It was the first time you spoke after greeting him.
Donghyuck shifted a bit, balancing his weight on one leg. “Because I liked you so much I couldn’t bear talking to you, knowing that I wasn’t able to see you, touch you and tell you how much I missed you” he said. “I thought that maybe, if I didn’t talk to you again, maybe it would hurt less than it did.”
You felt your lips drying, eyes widening upon hearing these words. This can’t be real. Yes, you wanted him to like you back, but you never expected it to be true. Even if you believed in a slight chance that he might like you back, it never occurred to you that it might actually be true.
“Hyuck, what are you talking about?” you asked him, not believing a single word he was saying.
“I’m talking about how much I like you, Y/n. Fuck, I might even be in love with you. I don’t know, I always get this weird feeling around you and I can’t get it to stop! I keep thinking about you and how I want to be able to kiss you without finding excuses with these stupid spin the bottle games! I like you so fucking much Y/n, I don’t know how to act.”
You stood still, frozen. So this is really happening, you thought. All this time you were worried about your feelings for Donghyuck when he was feeling the exact same way towards you. Your heart fluttered to the sound of his confession and you felt like smiling so hard until your cheeks hurt.
“Please say something Y/n” Donghyuck whispered. You didn’t say anything though. You didn’t have to. Instead, you took a couple steps further and stood right in front of him, placing your hands on each side of his neck, smacking your lips onto his.
He responded immediately, parting his lips slightly to kiss you back. He removed one arm from behind his back to cup your cheek with his hand and he kissed you gently and genuinely.
The knot in your stomach was untied, releasing the butterflies it had been holding in for so long. Donghyuck’s plump lips moved in sync with yours, his soft touch on your cheek sending streaks of warmth down your entire body.
You slowly pulled back to catch your breath, looking at him in his eyes, both of you smiling as hard as ever. “Of course I like you too, dumbass. I’ve liked you ever since I met you.” You said and Donghyuck smiled even harder than before, if it was even possible.
You removed your hands from his neck, dropping them to your side. “What is behind your back?” you asked him eagerly.
Donghyuck dropped his hand from your cheek too and brought his other arm from behind his back, only to reveal a stick of fluffy pink cotton candy.
Your eyes widened at the sight. It was the last thing you expected to see.
“You know, I promised to buy you one because I had dropped it when we bumped into each other, but I never had the chance to do that, so...” Dongyuck said and you slammed your body into his arms, grinning hard and laughing.
You squeezed him tightly and he returned your embrace, wrapping his arms around your waist, his head finding its way to rest in the crook of your neck.
“I think I love you, Donghyuck” you softly said in his ear.
Donghyuck’s grip on you tightened more and he breathed in. “Y/n, I know I love you” he said, just loud enough so that you and only you could hear him.
Donghyuck pulled back slightly so that he could see your face. He was still holding you tightly, as if he physically couldn’t let you go. As you were lost in the pool of honey in his eyes, he spoke with a low voice. “Do you think you’ll finally be able to beat me in bumper cars?” he said.
You laughed at his question and his smile grew wider to the sound. “No, you’re too slow. I actually pity you” you said.
Donghyuck poked the inside on his cheek with his tongue and raised his eyebrow at your answer. “Oh yeah? Let’s find out, bitchass” he said and linked his fingers with yours to guide you to the amusement park.
Just like that, your heart was full. It was right at the place it needed to be from the very beginning. It was finally home.
The doorbell chimed behind you and a chill breeze entered the inside of the diner for a brief second. You didn’t have to turn your head to realize that a group of high school kids entered the diner, their voices were too loud and annoying. You rolled your eyes and popped a french fry into your mouth.
It’s been about two weeks since you and Donghyuck made it official. You agreed to start a relationship that very night you confessed to each other outside the amusement park. Donghyuck only agreed to go out with you if he won three consecutive races at the bumper cars ride. Turns out you ended up crashing his car in every single round, but Donghyuck kept on saying that he didn’t really mean what he said and kissed you into agreeing to go on another date with him.
You were happy. Ever since you started dating, you found yourself enjoying the time you spent with Donghyuck even more than you did before. It’s not that many things changed, it was mostly the same things you used to do. The only difference was that neither of you was afraid to express their true feelings anymore.
You and Donghyuck were sitting next to each other at the diner booth. Donghyuck had his arm wrapped around your shoulder, while he used his other arm to grab french fries from the bowl on your table. You agreed to buy just one bowl of french fries to ease your appetite before you ordered your actual meals.
Donghyuck was talking to you about the drive-in cinema that will start working again next week. He said that they would be playing one of his favorite movies, so he practically begged you to go with him and treat it as a date as well.
“What are you guys talking about?” you heard Jimin’s voice and you looked up to see that she had just arrived with Yangyang standing there next to her.
“Oh hey guys, we didn’t hear you entering. I was telling Y/n about the drive-in, it’ll be open again next week. Wanna go-wait-” Donghyuck started saying, but he cut himself off when he noticed that Yangyang was holding Jimin’s hand.
“Dude what?” Donghyuck asked again and you sat there staring at your friends with eyes wide open. Jimin and Yangyang were grinning at your and Donghyuck’s reactions, before they went to sit on the booth opposite of yours.
“Yup, it is exactly what you think it is. Now, what were you saying about the drive-in?” Yangyang casually joined in the conversation without addressing the matter that clearly needed to be addressed.
“Jimin, why didn’t you tell me about this? How long have you guys been going out?” you said smiling at your friends.
“Not that long, just a few days after you guys. See, I was going to tell you about it Y/n, but Yangyang thought it would be funnier if we just showed up one random day like this and let you guys figure it out on your own” Jimin said and Yangyang kissed her forehead before wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
“Yeah, turns out that stupid quiz you girls thought of works wonders” Yangyang said and popped one french fry that he stole from the bowl.
“Wait, Yangyang, you were the one to send Jimin the quiz? Oh how the tables turn” you said and he waved you off.
You weren’t even the slightest bit surprised that Yangyang and Jimin were dating now. Honestly, it was quite obvious that there was something going on between them, but both of them were way too stubborn to admit it. Was it that way with you and Donghyuck too?
The four of you spent time at the diner that night. The feeling of being carefree and relaxed around your friends reminded you of the time you used to spend all together back in high school. It really felt as if you never lost touch with one another, everything was back to normal. Except this time, your heart felt at ease too.
It was getting quite late and the diner was almost empty now. The four of you didn’t really have the heart to check the time and make a move to get up and leave, you were having way too much time to just call it a night.
You had now ordered a second round of drinks, non-alcoholic though because none of you was really that good at staying sober. Instead, you just stuck with fizzy drinks and sodas.
Yangyang emptied out his second bottle of coke before he slammed it on the table. He licked his lips and sighed. “Wow, this was a good one” he said. But this wasn’t the only thing he had in mind. You could tell by the smugness of his expression.
Yangyang smirked and then lifted his head to flash one of his signature wide grins. “I don’t wanna go home yet, guys. So, who’s up for a game of spin the bottle?” he asked.
Jimin kicked his leg under the table, Donghyuck sat up and smacked him in the head and you stretched your arm to pinch his nose. The four of you burst out laughing, thinking about how things would have turned out if it wasn’t for Yangyang’s stupid ideas.
⤹ now playing: the christmas waltz by frank sinatra
PAIRING: stranger!jaehyun x female!reader
GENRE: smut (minors dni!!), strangers to lovers (?) au, fluff
WARNINGS: alcohol consumption, pet names (baby), explicit sexual content; unprotected sex (!always use protection!), heavy make out, nipple play, slight hair pulling, aftercare, pretty vanilla tbh
WC: 3,4k
SYNOPSIS: you were bummed that you had to spend Christmas all alone in a foreign country after your friends left you behind. little did you you would find a charming stranger to keep you company
A/N: merry christmas to everyone celebrating! here's a little gift from me to you <3
* .♡ *:・゚✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆
The muffled voices of people chatting around you mixed with the old christmas song playing from the bar's speakers filled the silence of your mind like a white noise. You whiffed the sweet scent of the red wine swirling inside the glass you were holding as you moved your hand from side to side, making you aware of your surroundings.
Despite it being Christmas eve, the bar was fuller than what you had expected. You would expect people to be gathered up at their homes, eating and having fun with all their loved ones, exchanging gifts and wishes and then getting wasted, laughing at the weird relative who had some more sips of alcohol than the others.
However, it turns out more people had the same fate as you. Sitting alone, in pairs, or in small groups at probably the only open bar in milan on this jolly day. You were informed about the jazz band that usually played live music here, yet you went to the place the only day of the year that they weren't there. Though it was kinda obvious they wouldn't be here today; it's Christmas eve for God's sake.
You took a sip of your wine, closing your eyes to savor the taste. You didn't know what it was, but the bartender definitely found your exact preference; sweet and strong on the tongue which leaves a slightly bitter aftertaste at the back of your throat.
As you set the glass down at the bar counter, you noticed a gust of air on your side, signaling someone else's presence. The woody masculine cologne that engulfed your nostrils made your head turn discreetly to the side, trying to take a glimpse of the man that it belonged to.
"A glass of Johnnie please, no ice," a soft baritone voice addressed the bartender and you couldn't help but fully turn your body towards the man, angling yourself in a position that showed your interest towards him yet keeping a safe distance.
The man definitely noticed your antics. You felt his fiery gaze look you up and down, taking in your full appearance. You flipped your hair, moving it all to the back which exposed your bare shoulder and upper chest. You noticed with the corner of your eye that the man drew in a sharp breath, shifting his body from side to side on the barstool. Your technique worked.
As you stretched your arm to grab your glass of wine, your heard the man clear his throat. "Now why would a beautiful lady sit alone at a jazz bar on Christmas eve?" the velvety baritone voice asked and the question was addressed to none other than you.
You finally met the man's gaze for the first time. He was gorgeous. His jet black hair was nicely styled, parted in the middle and framing his heavenly structured face, falling a bit long at the nape of his neck. His dress shirt was sitting tightly around his shoulders and chest, in contrast with the tie he was wearing which was hanging rather loosely around his neck. His sleeves were rolled up and you noticed his arm muscles flex as he brought the scotch glass to his lips, his watch glimmering under the dim lighting.
"Funny enough, I was about to ask the exact same thing," you played along, hiding your flirty smirk behind your glass of wine.
"You're looking for a beautiful lady too?" he asked, his eyes creasing as he smiled teasingly.
You chuckled at that, covering your mouth with you hand. So he had a sense of humor. "I meant a handsome man. But whatever rows your boat," you decided to play along, flirt with him too.
His eyes were piercing. He looked at you as if he were walking for miles in the dry desert and you were an oasis just a little ahead of him, like he was desperate to drink you all up. It would be lie though if you denied that you weren't looking at him the same way.
"I mean," he said between low chuckles, "there has to be a good reason why you're here. And alone," he finished, waiting for your answer.
You sighed deeply, tapping your fingers on the counter. "I was supposed to spend Christmas with my friends but they decided to be assholes and pull a prank on me. They dumped me. Told me we were going to Milan while they are in Vienna right now," you said, downing the remaining wine in your glass in one go.
The man visibly winced at what you said, as if he was physically in pain. "I'm sorry to hear that. That's so cruel, wow," he said, reaching out a confident hand to grab your hand resting on the counter, giving it an apologetic squeeze. Oh he knows what he's doing.
"What's your excuse for being here, pretty boy?" you asked playfully and he smiled. "My story isn't as sad as yours, it's actually kinda funny. My uh- my flight got canceled. I was in Milan for work and I was supposed to go home for the holidays but..." he trailed off, pressing his lips.
"Damn, i'm sorry," you said and you decided to flirt back now. Gaining dominance over his hand, you squeezed it, rubbing circles with your thumb over the back of his hand.
You noticed his eyes fixate on the spot your bodies were touching. Without realizing it, your barstool had moved closer to his and you could feel the heat of his body radiating along with the strong scent of his cologne. You hoped your perfume hadn't worn off after hours of wearing it.
"Actually," he spoke up, removing his hand from your grip, "something good came out of all this misfortune. I'm sitting at a nice cozy place with a beautiful lady to keep me company. Not that bad, isn't it? I'm Jaehyun by the way," he offered you his name, stretching his arms for a proper handshake.
It was ironic. You had already held hands without even introducing yourselves to each other. You giggled at the gesture and he smiled at your reaction, eagerly waiting for your name and your handshake with his arm still stretched towards you.
You gave him your name as you returned the handshake. The sight of the two of you must have looked somewhat awkward from a third person's point of view, but for you the interaction between you and Jaehyun had a warmth to it.
You didn't say it out loud like he did, but spending time with a lovely handsome stranger in a foreign place on Christmas eve wasn't as bad as it sounded.
You didn't realize it but you and Jaehyun had already been talking for almost two hours. Time passed by quickly, you were having a great time with him. He was weirdly charming, flirting with you in a slightly uncomfortable way despite the aura of confidence he radiated. He cracked jokes more than you expected and always found silly excuses to touch you, anywhere he could, signaling his obvious interest towards you.
It would be a lie if you said you weren't as interested in him, if more than he was. You found yourself laughing at everything he said, and you didn't mind the soft touches of his hand here and there. In fact, you craved them even more. You craved him. After two hours of talking, you weren't sure if it was the wine, the sleepiness or the pure lust you were feeling, but you couldn't bring yourself to listen to everything he said. You were lost in his eyes, his lips, his hands, his scent. You were sober enough to understand the pure attraction you had for him.
The bar was now almost empty. You saw the bartender cleaning some tables in the back, and only two groups of friends were there beside you and Jaehyun. You took this as a signal to get leaving as soon as possible.
After arguing with Jaehyun over who gets to pay for the drinks, he ultimately won over you, being kind enough to pay for all your refills of wine. You were opposed to this at first, but his kind gesture made your want grow even more, and the aching sensation between your thighs became too noticeable to ignore.
You wrapped your coat closely around your neck as you stepped outside the bar in the crisp coldness of December. You couldn't just go back to your hotel room like this. The night was still young, and you weren't ready to leave Jaehyun just yet.
"So, any plans for the rest of the night?" you asked, trying to get some information you could use in your favor.
Jaehyun shrugged, lifting his shoulders. "Not really. I mean, I'm alone here so there isn't anything else to do during this time of the night," he said, but you noticed that he wanted to say more than that.
You decided to take initiative and help him out of his shyness. "I know it's gonna sound a bit weird but," you drew in a breath, shivering from the cold and the nervousness, "would you like to come over to my hotel room for one more round of drinks? It's almost Christmas" you said looking at your watch.
Jaehyun tried to suppress a smile that was threatening to spread on his lips. You had cracked him. You knew he wanted you as much as you wanted him, and neither of you were ready to let go of each other so easily. Besides, like he said, you were all alone here. You only knew each other and there wasn't anything more fun than to spend more time with a person you grew to like. He had no excuse to refuse your offer.
With a hesitant nod, he looked into your eyes, smiling softly as he tried to study the intentions behind your question. "Sure, why not?"
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Jaehyun kicked the door of you hotel room closed as he kissed you deeply, his hands resting on your back while yours were wrapped around his neck. Dropping your bag on the floor, you hurriedly took off your shoes, throwing them somewhere around the room.
Jaehyun struggled a little untying his shoelaces, but you helped him get rid of his jacket, throwing it somewhere behind him. You let your coat fall off your body, and with a quick motion your hands were back to where they were, wrapped around jh neck, pulling him close to reach his lips again.
The kiss was electric. Your entire body heated up with lust as you tasted on his lips the mixture of the different alcoholic drinks you had consumed earlier. Jaehyun slipped his tongue into your mouth, lowering his hands to the small of your back as you cupped his cheek with one hand, the other gripping the locks of his hair. In the heat of the moment, he wasted no time cupping your ass, lifting you up to wrap your legs around his waist.
On the short walk back to your hotel, you felt the constant need for him steadily rising and rising to the point you couldn't keep your hands to yourself anymore. It must've been hard for Jaehyun to keep his composure too, as he couldn't resist his urges anymore, kissing you in the elevator as you went up to the floor of your room.
You were both so needy for each other. Your tongues battled for dominance as Jaehyun lead you to the bed, dropping your body on the soft mattress as he towered above you, never breaking the kiss.
Your grip on his hair tightened, and he knew you wanted more. He attached his lips on your neck, pressing soft warm kissed along the sensitive area. He trailed his mouth from under your ear down to your already half-exposed chest and you mentally thanked yourself for choosing to wear a low-cut top. Soft moans escaped your lips as Jaehyun found all your favorite spots to kiss, smirking at the sounds that came out of your mouth.
His lips left your skin and you whined at the lack of his touch. He looked up into your eyes, searching for any type of consent, something that told him you needed him as badly as he needed you.
"What are we even doing?" he chuckled, running his fingers along your cheek.
You smiled at that. "i don't know,," you were honest with him. "But whatever it is, I like it. And I want it. Do you?" you asked him and he nodded quickly, resting his thumb on your lips.
"You have no idea" he said and in a second, his lips crashed with yours as he continued the battle of dominance you had previously started.
Jaehyun kept kissing you everywhere. No spot in your exposed body was left unattended by his soft lips, yet he needed more of you and you needed him in more places too. As if on cue, you arched your back to help him take off your top, followed shortly with an unclasp of your bra, the straps falling down your shoulders as he yanked it away. He immediately buried his face in your chest, sucking one nipple while teasing the other one with his fingers.
With trembling hands due to the pleasure, you loosened Jaehyun's tie, hastily unbuttoning his shirt. He sensed your struggle and detached himself from your boobs to help you get him undressed. Removing his shirt, he revealed his toned body to you, muscles flexing with every single of his movements. You didn't have enough time to fully appreciate his upper body as he dipped back in, not wanting to leave your nipples neglected.
Soft moans and whimpers left your lips as he kept on kissing you down your entire body, trailing your stomach down to your pants. Swiftly pulling the zipper, he slowly removed your pants and underwear, kissing your inner things along the way.
Your body jolted at the cold sensation of your naked core meeting the air in the room, and Jaehyun's mouth was so close to where you needed him the most that the thought alone made you even wetter.
Jaehyun took a step back to fully look at you. His pupils were dilated, eyes filled with nothing but lust and need. "Gosh you're so beautiful" he said in his low voice, a soft grunt escaping him as he unbuckled his belt, pulling down his pants and boxers revealing his own throbbing dick.
You gulped at the sight of his size, but it made you even more curious of how he would feel inside you. Jaehyun lowered himself above you, capturing your lips in a lazy passionate kiss.
"I really wanna take my time with you but I can't wait any longer. Do you think you can take me right now? No prep?" he asked you, the neediness in his eyes and voice so obvious, you could come undone any minute by now.
The truth is, you weren't sure if you could fit all of him inside you. But you needed him. you wanted him. The sooner the better. You couldn't take any more foreplay or teasing even though you'd like it. You just wanted to relase all the tension off your body.
"I can take it. I can take you," you said and you saw Jaehyun's eyes darken at your eager tone. He wasted no time, lining himself between your legs as he grabbed the base of his cock, bringing it to the opening of your folds.
"Are you sure you want this, Y/n?" Jaehyun asked you, waiting for your final answer, the one that would give me the green light to go.
You nodded. "yes, Jaehyun please. I want you right now," you pleaded and it was all that was needed for him to slowly thrust inside you, your velvety walls wrapping around his veiny length as he entered deeper and deeper until he bottomed out inside you, his hips touching yours.
A long moan was heard by both of you at the sensation of your bodies meeting in such an intimate way. "Fuck you're so warm" Jaehyun groaned and you moaned just at the sound he made, his eyes shut as he tried to fully feel you ad you took him all in.
Once you gave him the signal that he could move, he slowly lifted his hips, thrusting his dick in and out of your pussy, earning heavy breaths from you. Your arms searched for anchor at his toned back, digging your fingers in his shoulders as his thrusts grew faster and more eager, trying to get you to moan louder for him.
And it worked. As he kept on reaching spots so deep you never thought anyone could ever reach, Jaehyun kissed down your neck, groaning at the sound of your continuously louder moans, smirking on your skin when he pinched your nipped and you squealed, leaving out a high-pitched scream.
"You're so good at this Jae, you make me feel so good" you said in between moans and the nickname worked like magic for him. His breathing became heavier, burying his head on the crook of your neck as his thrusts became sloppier.
"Fuck you're such a good girl for me, I'm- fuck" Jaehyun's voice was mumbled as he spoke in the mattress, your moaning growing louder and louder.
"Please Jae I wanna cum, it's so good," you whispered, your breathing becoming sharper as he pressed a finger on your clit, rubbing it softly as he angled your hips higher to gain more access inside you. Your legs wrapped tight around his waist as his body was pressed closely on top of you. Jaehyun tried to kiss you, but the burning sensation between your legs kept you moaning inside his mouth, your eyes rolling in the back of your head as you reached closer to your climax.
"Jae I'm- I-" you tried to speak but the pleasure was too much for your brain to properly work.
Jaehyun never stopped nor changed his movements, quickly understanding what you like and what makes you a whimpering mess under him. "Come on baby, cum for me" he groaned as he kept on going, rubbing your clit slightly faster.
Your legs shook around his waist, a loud cry leaving your lips as you came around his cock. Jaehyun kept on going, riding you through your high as he chased his own. Hearing your soft moans, he came not long after you, warm liquid filling you up as your throbbing walls clenched around his length.
The two of you stayed like this for a while. Jaehyun only pulled out of you once his breathing was more steady, and you winced at the sudden emptiness you felt without his body inside you, or even on top of you.
Jaehyun layed for a few more seconds before he got up, searching for his boxers around the room. "I'm gonna get some tissues to clean you up, is that alright baby?" the pet name felt so natural coming from him. It was weird that it didn't really hit you when he said it during sex, but right now it made your stomach twitch.
Jaehyun went to the bathroom and came back holding some tissues. You moved your body towards him and let him clean you up from all the remaining liquids he had spilled on you. You found the gesture adorable, especially when you saw the concentration on his face, trying to leave absolutely no dirty spot on your body.
You thanked him for it and got up to find some clean clothes you could wear to sleep. Jaehyun was too comfortable getting under the bedsheets, laying in your bed as a sign that he would stay the night.
Fishing his phone from the inside pocket of his jacket, he read the time. It was way past midnight by now, and neither of you noticed how quickly time had passed when you had such a great time with each other.
His lips tugged into a playful smile before he spoke. "Look, it's past midnight. Merry Christmas!" he said as you climbed into bed beside him.
You laughed at his enthusiasm and sighed, turning to face him. If you were to tell yourself that you wouldn't spend Christmas with your friends this year but rather with a hot total stranger you came across at a jazz bar, you wouldn't believe it. But now, nuzzling into his chest, hearing the slow and steady beating of his heart, you were content with this turn of events.
You cupped the side of his face and his cheek rested heavy in your palm as he leaned his head to your touch. You pressed a soft peck on his lips, smiling. "Merry Christmas".