lev/river

he/him || please use tone indicators when speaking to me || just my falsettos rant and shitpost place

[bemorekleinman]

me listening to a musical about the most terrible heartwrenching tragic fucked up shit to ever exist

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Literally me

[waffle-bubbles]

Has anyone made this comparison yet

[songofadaydream]

william finn owns my entire ass

[phierecycled]

PSA: If Vecna ever curses me just blast the Falsettos revival album into my ears and I’ll be ok

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Mendel: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.

Mendel: I will not yield.

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Marvin: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Whizzer: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Whizzer: I like your new pants!

Marvin: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Whizzer: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Marvin: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Whizzer: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Marvin: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Whizzer.

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Whizzer: What are you in the mood for?

Marvin: World domination.

Whizzer: That's a bit ambitious.

Marvin: You are my world.

Whizzer: Aww...

Marvin:

Whizzer:

Marvin:

Whizzer: OH.

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Whizzer, throwing his head into Marvin's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Marvin, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Whizzer: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Marvin: I wrote you a poem.

Whizzer, already crying: You did?

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Whizzer: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Marvin: This is a lie.

Marvin: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.

Marvin: HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Marvin: Whizzer, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Whizzer, naked in Marvin's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Marvin: This date is boring!

Whizzer: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Marvin: Then why did you invite me?

Whizzer: I didn't, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Whizzer, I'll do whatever I want!"

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Nobody:

Me: "I heard that BRYNA was in CHINA with a TORN MENISCUS" -mendel

[ohnoo-ourwhizzer-hesbroken]

Cordelia: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need.

Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

[phierecycled]

He/They Whizzer Rights

[phierecycled]

Whizzer: what should I get your dad for his birthday?

Jason: Medication.