jin guangyao is blowing up his own life and those of many others in order to become the filialpietymaxxer huaisang is doing exactly the same thing jiang cheng is a mostly less destructive example but it is still the source of his many torments and even wei wuxian feels a bit tortured about his confucian duties but wen ning lowkey does not give a fuck. he doesn't blink at betraying his lord and his sect he's not even conflicted about it. he'll stand by his family/sect members that he thinks are being wronged but if he thinks they're doing the wronging? forget about it. and either way he has no plans for vengeance or cashing in on blood debts. they had to make him addicted to playing second fiddle because he'd be too op otherwise, he understands the narrative intuitively
something really delightful about a character with two salient coexisting traits of "likes being told what to do so he doesn't have to worry about all that" and "will disobey anyone about anything as soon as he doesn't agree with what he's told to do" in a series where most of the other characters are both more outwardly rebellious and less likely to be as morally independent in practice
The thing to me about Wen Ning being so willing to go against his family is that I think it emphasizes how trapped he is in the narrative rather than reduces it. Because one of the major themes of MDZS in my mind is debts and repayments, being bound by what you owe others. For many of the other characters they consider their most important debts to be to their families or the people who raised them, which leads to the above behaviors. And this aligns with the values of the society they live in so when they go above and beyond to repay the perceived obligations they are understood and seen as virtuous by the people around them.
Meanwhile Wen Ning is super willing to betray his family and leader - but notably a large part of his motivations come not only from pure morality but also out of a sense of personal loyalty to Wei Wuxian. He puts himself at great personal risk in part because WWX was passingly kind to him once! That is even more notable than the lengths that JGY goes to for his family!
He's not very filial but to some extent this just means that his choice to honor his perceived debts in this way is a more deliberate action, something that goes against the expectations around him and cannot be as easily understood by the people in universe who might grant sympathy to somebody like NHS. But the fact that he still ends up following WWX through his whole afterlife because that is what he believes he is owed is, to me, an indication that he just as much, if not more, entangled in these webs of obligation that strangle most of the cast.
i have a lot of thoughts on wei wuxian, the wen siblings, and how they are affected by their debts to each other (i, for one, don’t think that debt repayment was a major motivation for wen ning’s intervention at lotus pier or for him following wei wuxian post-timeskip) - but i agree that it’s something that burdens all of them throughout most of the story, despite everyone's best intentions.
but i do want to put my two cents in because wen ning and wei wuxian parting ways in the end is so important:
“I built one for the two of you at the Burial Mounds, but it was burnt down,” Wei Wuxian said. “We’ll make a trip to Qishan too.” He turned to Lan Wangji, but before he could ask for the latter’s opinion, Wen Ning declined. “No, it’s fine.” Taken aback, Wei Wuxian asked, “You don’t want us to come with?” Lan Sizhui quickly chimed in. “Wei-qianbei, just go with Hanguang-jun.” Wei Wuxian wanted to say more, but Wen Ning said, “Really, it’s fine. Wei-gongzi, you have done enough.” After a brief pause, Wei Wuxian asked, “What will you do after you’ve finished all that?” “Send A-Yuan back to the Cloud Recesses,” Wen Ning replied. “Then I can take my time pondering what to do next. As for what follows…let me go my own way.” Wei Wuxian nodded slowly. “…Just as well.”
wen ning doesn't end up following wei wuxian through his whole afterlife. wen ning leaves.
and the way he leaves - freeing himself from revolving his life around wei wuxian any further, from having to protect him at the expense of his own personhood - but also explicitly freeing wei wuxian from all further obligations, from seeing wen ning as his responsibility, from having to choose between happiness and duty for once in his life - is important as well. "you have done enough".
(even though his rejection made wei wuxian sad! but what can you do? wen ning, a healer, is no stranger to breaking a badly healed bone so it can be set clean, even if it hurts.)
the toxicity of being trapped in a cycle of debt and repayment is indeed a major theme, which is why wei wuxian's relationship with lan wangji ("between us, there is no need to say thank you and sorry") is so heavily contrasted with both of his other relationships, which jiang cheng also eventually understands by keeping the truth of his golden core loss to himself, and that’s why wen ning dropping all of this on wei wuxian’s head and walking off into the sunset was absolute king shit on his part. my man saw the webs of obligation around them and went at them with an angle grinder as soon as he could, and he really deserves more recognition for it.
