Kami

“Anyone can love a thing because. That's as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.” -Patrick Rothfus, The Wise Man's Fear

[dailyinspirationquotes]

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[lol-funnymemes]

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Crown of the Rat King - part 2

From the second session of the game that I’ve written for my group. Some skeletons have challenged the party to a dance battle. The Dex Barbarian and Ranger (and her dog) have been rolling really well. The other Barbarian is beat boxing, the Cleric is singing My Heart Will Go On, and our Wizard is the cheering section. The Ranger is now wearing the Crown and it allows her to summon some once per battle.

Ranger: Okay, I want to summon like, A LOT of rats. So we can all dance together, like synchronized swimming, but dancing.. with rats.

Me (the DM): Well, i think the sheet says you can summon up to four rats…

Ranger: I think synchronized swimming would be cool for this, you know. Like… like synchronized ratting?

Me (the DM): Well, four is enough for that.

Ranger: Okay, but I wanted like, 20.

Me (the DM): Uhm…. You can walk around the edges of the room calling as many rats as you can, but it’ll cost you a turn.

Ranger: I have a vision, okay?

Me (the DM): I know you do.

So her turn rolls around again and she has amassed an army of 24 rats, and she proceeds to roll very high with advantage, adding a roll for her dog and a group roll for the rats, that adds up to be nearly 50 points higher than the roll they needed to end the encounter.

Me (the DM): The skeletons souls are released from their bones and they fall in a pile on the floor.

Cleric (who was slow dancing with a skeleton) OOC: Am I still holding the skeleton’s hands?

Me (the DM): Yes.

Cleric: Oh My.

Me (the DM): Yeah, his hands are still there and he just… fell apart. They don’t need to see anything else ever again. This has completed them, so they passed on.

Ranger: I pet every single rat.

[georgetakei]

J.K. Rowling has proved herself to be She Who Must Not Be Trumped.

With One Tweet, J.K. Rowling Hilariously Destroyed Donald Trump

[vethox]

[refinery29]

The Rock Has An Inspiring Message For People With Depression

Johnson shares how an episode of depression eventually led him to professional wrestling, and what he learned from the experience. 

WATCH THE VIDEO

GIFS VIA.

[lottalace]

He’s truly an angel & we are blessed by his existence

[amuseoffyre]

Just had a thought for an action hero thing: 30-something woman hero is doing her ass-kicking thing. One day, her boss shows up at her door, and tells her she has to stand down, or there will be consequences. “Honey, it’s not that you’re too old. It’s just the public don’t like to see a woman of your age saving the day. It feels emasculating”.

So woman is stripped of her support team, fellow agents, and is pretty much put on the shelf. She tries to do heroing, but keeps getting cockblocked by younger women or superhero men she used to work alongside.

Just when she’s hitting rock bottom (and sitting in her house wearing pyjamas and eating ice cream), there’s a knock at the door. Judi Dench is standing there, and our heroine assumes it’s a charity collection.

“Oh no, dear,” Dench says, smiling. “We’ve come to recruit you.”

“Recruit me? For what?”

“To do what we do best: save the bloody world.”

And all at once she’s part of a covert ops team made of all the older women who have been retired and who currently are holding the reins of managing the world.

[squirrelswithmakeup]

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase

[barefootdramaturg]

I am here for this plan.

[ocean-watcher]

Oh, yes.

[kvothe-kingkiller]

OK BUT WITH MARYL STREEP, MAGGIE SMITH, AND JULIE ANDREWS AS WELL

[antique-symbolism]

Imagine a dragon at Antiques Roadshow, appraising its hoard

[gayrob0t]

Imagine the dragon hoards monetarily worthless things like newspapers or old bones and the person appraising it getting more and more nervous about telling the dragon their stuff isnt worth anything

[antique-symbolism]

Imagine that the dragon knows this and just likes watching the person squirm.

[gayrob0t]

The dragon actually hoards uncomfortable situations

[iguanamouth]

[virginiaisforhaters]

Wow it’s almost like most of human history has been about controlling women… or something…

[awesome-picz]

Cats That Need Your Attention The Exact Moment You Start Reading  

[telesilla]

Cats Against Literacy

[writerswritecompany]

How to be a cat 

[lol-funnymemes]

[dinobot711]

[octopodhotrod]

[scootscoot5000]

So I came home from school a few days ago and found this on one of the cabinets in my house. 

See about three years ago my parents decided to go on a big push to get healthy. At the time we were all really overweight, it was a good idea. Our motto became “Eat less. Exercise more.” This was reasonable, because we often had thirds in every meal, and I couldn’t run to my mail box without getting out of breath. Since that time between the four members of my family we’ve lost a hundred and sixty pounds. I am muscled, curvy, and a weight I love. I exercise four days a week, usually boxing early in the morning before school. Usually in the course of a day I’ll eat two pieces of toast, a sandwich and a fruit, and a small piece of meet with a couple vegetables. 

My parents are not impressed. At one time, they always repeated to me “healthy at any weight”, but now it has turned not to being healthy to be healthy, but lose weight lose weight lose weight. 

My eleven year old sister and I have started working with each other to sneak food into our rooms that they won’t notice we’ve taken.

The other day, I didn’t wake up at five before school to work out, and my dad yelled at me, making me promise to work out an extra day that week. 

My dad picks apart my lunch in the morning. Recently, they started giving me only half a sandwich. 

A few days ago, my sister went to get a cheese stick after school, and my mother told her that if she ate it, it would be her entire dinner. My sister ate it, and didn’t get dinner. 

My parents told me I need to get a personal trainer so I can “improve faster”. 

My family has a history of eating disorders, and everyday my family seems more and more anorexic. I’m scared for both myself and my younger sister. Both of us try to not eat, because we get approval from our parents for being “more healthy”.  I’ve stopped eating lunch, trying to loose weight so that they will be nicer to me. 

I don’t think my parents realize that they’re fostering eating disorders, but the other day I tried to make myself puke, because they treat food like poison. 

I was wondering if you could reblog this if you think this sounds unhealthy, because I keep trying to talk myself out of thinking that it is. 

[bm13]

#um this is abuse call the cops

[thespoonmissioner]

[okayame-blog]

How you know something is wrong with a cat person

[memewhore]

[beardset]

fucking destroyed

[dailycrest]

get rekt

[fuck-i-just]

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

[poselikeateam]

Why does this not have any notes?

[ice-cream-thursdae]

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

[notronaldreagan-blog]

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

[catbug]

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

[thesteppinrazor]

Pro tip: Don’t do this if you recently applied for a new job.