I’m struggling very hard to get rid of this pit I feel in my chest since being back in LA. And it’s not even been 24 hours. I already want to leave. I don’t think this town is for me. I’ve already been in another accident... I think it’s a sign.
I feel like I’m starting to understand my energy on a level that can’t be described tangibly or with words. And with that understanding, I feel like my energy just isn't compatible with the energy of LA. It’s like a mood, a feeling that as I walk through the city, I’m constantly chafing up against competing energy that is rubbing me raw. Or stripping me away. Like my magnetic field is being bombarded by the solar wind of the Santa Ana, and the longer I stay here, the weaker my field gets. Except when I finally do break, I don’t think it will be beautiful like an aurora. It would be more like a solar storm, radiation and EMPs raining down on what’s left of the lives down below.
But where else would I go? Nowhere else really makes me think “home” either. Expect maybe Norman... I was happiest there, I think. That’s what it feels like, anyway.
