old -msg for new blog

[olddddddddddd]

I am so glad I stayed

I could have never imagined 10+ years ago when I started this blog how my life would turn out. I am full of life, and love! I am surrounded by love and the most wonderful, interesting people! My relationships are so rich, and my inner world is finally full of something other than hatred, sadness, loss, pain. There was so much pain..and sometimes, there still is. Life continues to get better and better, better and better. I am so grateful. I am so, so, so grateful.

Hilariously, I'm seeing things I posted that I now have. Yes, young Aileen, you DO get a marriage more beautiful than your wedding (the bar was low though, that wedding sucked, but you did start therapy bc of it lol)!! You do get to be in love again. You actually fall and remain deeper than you knew possible. You sit with yourself and feel things. You're there for yourself in the way you always dreamed. You have compassion, you helped yourself grieve, and you continue to get better.

I am so proud of you. Of myself.

[90s90s90s]

[olddddddddddd]

Goodbye.

I can’t bring myself to delete this blog because it goes back so far and lets me reflect on so much, but there’s also some memories that are too painful to see right now.

I was lucky enough to experience the most exquisite love with my best friend, but he has decided to end the relationship.

I’m not mad. I’m sad, and incredibly hurt, but to be honest I’m just really grateful to have discovered what love can be like. I’m grateful to have had such easy and fun conversations, to have fallen head over heels, to push myself to be better because of how great he was, to wake up every day and feel happy beyond belief, and to fantasize about a future that now I know was never ours to dream about…

It sucks, but as my friends keep telling me, it will get better. Maybe not right away and maybe not as soon as I would like, but I’ll pick myself back up and find someone who can make me happy again. Someone to share the little things with and someone that will be able to reciprocate the crazy love I felt for Paolo.

I will be okay.

If you’d like to keep up with my solo dolo adventures, pm me and I’ll shoot you the link of my new blog.

With a heavy heart, this will be my last post. Anything hereafter was stored in my queue for quite some time.

Goodbye.

[olddddddddddd]

LOL SUP YALL decided to edit this post bc as time passes your hindsight clears up and you realized you unfortunately fell in love with an absolute piece of shit. 

Sure, I’m grateful to have experienced that tide of emotions because I hadn’t prior, but HOLY FUCK do I regret who it was with. Realize now he didn’t even deserve to be my best friend for those three years because I was doing the majority of the work, communication wise and for what? To be used and lied to? To be swept off my feet while he was still with his ex? To be de-fucking-flowered and left the next day only to be destroyed by his lies months later? Telling me we will get married and sending me sappy ass shit one day and then the next, it’s done and over?

BRUH. 

Not cool. Paolo you are not worth two seconds of my time, but  I will not fucking hesitate to punch you in the face should you ever cross my path again.

You are worthless to me and I regret it all. You didn’t deserve me, and I’m glad you recognized that when we broke up. 

alright, now i’m done with this blog lol it’s just embarrassing at this point to remember when I had all those feels. maybe one day I’ll come back or combine it with my new one, who knows.

BYE.

[olddddddddddd]

Well, at least he's a piece of shit, that makes it a lot easier to reconcile. Also you should totes hmu with that URL to your new blog, because this website is 90% of my interaction with you, and while that's sad it's also totally my fault because I never text you.

He is! all good tho, tbh i feel bad for his girl bc lol if she gets back with him she’s getting back with a cheater. yes i’ll send it at once (:

[starryeyedhowell-blog]

Depression isn’t always sadness

It’s also feeling numb at 3am but smiling and laughing with friends at 3pm

It’s also not being able to get out of bed even though you were fine the day before

It’s also not eating because you aren’t hungry or can’t be bothered, but also over eating because you’re bored and feel empty

It’s also loving too hard or not at all

Depression isn’t a constant feeling of sadness, depression can be hidden in happiness.

Your depression is valid even if people say it’s not just because you smile

[a-joyfuljourney]

Moonschooling Eleanor

[standbackwasted]

selfies are so cool my kids are gonna be so into it like wouldn’t you kill for a selfie of your mom or your dad like a day when your mom felt pretty or a picture of her with her best friend like mostly the only pics we have of our parents are posed school photos or blurry film pictures of them as kids but how many actual pictures do you have of your mom? your grandparents? like the next generation of kids are gonna have pictures of their parents in every single stage of their life like my kids are gonna know what I looked like on march 8, 2015 theyre gonna know what i wore on Christmas when I was 19 and theyre gonna see a picture taken on their birthday 20 years before they were born and think it’s the coolest version of timehop there’s ever gonna be. they’re gonna notice the same striped shirt in all my selfies and be like wow mom you liked that shirt. like? how is that not the most remarkable thing you’ve ever heard

[luv-mess]

Shout out to those who are having a hard time right now.  This is only temporary.

[jonbutter]

Heartbreaking Simpsons Moments 1/∞: Bart Gets an F

[songofages]

I never understood why it’s an F if he gets more than half out of 100? Unless it’s more than 100. If you get more than half the answers right how is it an F?

[i-aint-even-bovvered]

You must not be from America. Here, grading is fucked up.

[heruut]

Average American Grading Scale: A+- 97-100 A - 94-96 A- - 90-93 B- 80-89 C- 70-79 D- 60-69 F- 59 and under

[doodle-in-space-deactivated2018]

oh wow that is fucked up

[jolyene]

“you’re up early!”

jokes on you i didn’t sleep at all and am in between energized and dying

[kristalbabich]

“It’s Been An Adventure, Mr. Fredricksen.”

“Adventure Is Out There!”

Someone asked me to post these two companion pieces together so it was easier to reblog them.

[ohhaiimelissa]

THIS WAS NOT OKAY

[fearless-proud-andstrong-deacti]

DUG

[blackbanshee-deactivated2018022]

[tflatte]

HE’S STILL WEARING THE ELLIE BADGE

[timebreadroll]

I was just going to scroll past this when I REALISED what it was

[scorpiogf]

me: needs to stop posting extremely personal things on the internet

me: ok so anyways………i Hate My entire Self

[olddddddddddd]

brain: time to feel sad for no reason

me: why

brain: you gotta

[leatherjesus]

i only have two emotions 1. i hate myself im such a bitch 2. i love myself im such a bitch

[deansass]

my teacher sent a student home today because the student had had an anxiety attack earlier in the morning and she said “if you have a broken bone, you don’t just keep walking on it and damaging it more, you treat it. Your mental health is the same. Health then school.” 

[thebeesweakknees]

I was about to get really angry but it took a different turn than I expected

we really need more teachers like this 

[liberalsarecool]

‘Go Back To Mexico’ Sentiment Is Most Prevalent In States That Used To Be Mexico

[olddddddddddd]

me: *performs a basic function of an adult human in society*

me: I am so on top of it today