OlleeSpaz

I’d rather be blogging

[olleespaz-blog]

Just one of those days - So it’s been a long couple of days with #1 being sick with who knows what and me fighting a losing battle to keep him from burning up. Then #2, in his infinite wisdom, chooses to use #1 water bottle. “Insert facepalm here.” So now on day 3 of what is quite possibly the longest week of my entire life, I’m endeavoring to reason with the 2 most unreasonable little humans on the planet. Currently #3 is asleep, and has yet to be infected in spite of his consistent efforts to do so by getting his grabby little hands and drooly mouth kisses on LITERALLY every surface and item. This is a new type of hell. And I’m torn.... will a glass of wine make this situation better? Or worse? At this stage it’s anyone’s guess. But at the end of the day, in this moment, I don’t really give a fuck. Cheers kids - mummy’s having some special medicine too! #olleespaz #sundaynotfundayanymore #toosickforschool #sickkids #notanotherbloodyviralinfection #backtothedoctors #nosleep #longestweekendever #facepalm #kids #parenting #mumlife #justoneofthosedays #towineornottowine https://www.instagram.com/p/BnxhvxgB3zm/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1aoscuybo6g8c

[olleespaz-blog]

Winter is coming...

It’s kind of ironic when you talk about Winter being on it’s way when it’s a 31 degree day in April. It’s pretty much how it is when you live in Queensland. Being acclimatized does little to negate the fact that once you’ve lived here more than 2 years you really start to feel the cold. When you’re a newbie, fresh off the boat (plane) every weekend is beach weather. Not so much these days. So even though some days are still ridiculously warm, the nights are getting cooler. And with the change in temperature comes the first of the germs for the year. All my kids are crook now and imma bout to lose my shit. They’re needier than usual, and basically just irritable, impossible little gremlins. That’s definitely the worst thing about Winter. But it’s not even Winter! It’s Autumn FFS!!! It’s now that I reminisce about Summer with rose coloured glasses and tell myself it’s only 6 more months until Winter is in the rear-view. Best things about Winter.... for certain later sunrise; early sunset & red wine. The only thing that could of made it better is Game if Thrones. But looks look that’s a gift for 2019. Nothing but germs in my current playlist. I’ll drink to that.

[olleespaz-blog]

Falling leaves

At the end of last year I had some bad luck. More like a series of unfortunate events that made everything go pear-shaped and life was looking not as rosy as usual. I felt heavy: weighted down; burdened. Recently I have come to realize that the root cause of the issues was me. I was so focused on everything going wrong, that things continued to keep going wrong. I have started focusing on what I want and what makes me happy at let go of the things I can’t control and bit by bit my life has improved. I was walking the other day and autumn leaves came down all around me. When I was a child I read a book about wishes and how catching a falling leave grants you a wish. My entire life I remember this moment every time I see a leaf fall, even though I’ve yet to catch one. More and more I am noticing them all around me when I venture out, and without even trying, I feel more than ever that this time is coming. And that’s a great feeling. #autumninaustralia #fallingleaves #childhoodmemories #wishfulthinking #olleespaz

[olleespaz-blog]

Another Sleepy Saturday - Once again we have reached the weekend. The weather is average and last night was hard with #3 deciding he did not require sleep. Hubby got up early and went to work and my day began after a hideously long night. I read that Megan Gale and Turia Pitt can turn their days around by altering their mindsets. Instead of ‘I have to get up and entertain my kids’, I ‘get’ to get up and entertain my kids. It didn’t help. It seems like I am the only one in the house who appreciates sleep. Probably because I get the least of everybody. So here I am, grateful for the overcast humid day (nope) and the opportunity to take the kidlets out to burn some energy so they don’t drive me completely mad. And because I’m so well rested it stands to reason that I can snap on a baby carrier, wrangle a toddler into a pram and negotiate with a 4 year old and white furry terrorist. Insert face palm here. Well, one foot in front of the other and we’re on our way. Which is a mindset that better suits ME, my life and my kids. One foot in front of the other. And that’s how I made it through the morning. One step at a time. Before getting home to Nana who had come to visit with giant chocolate bunnies at the ready. So now the kidlets are hopped up on sugar and my bed is taunting me. So grateful for Disney movies and hubby having a half day. And one foot in front of the other imma show that bed who is boss... and hubby can take the afternoon shift. Tapping out. #gimmesomesleep #awakeallnight #sleepysaturdaymorning #whatisasleepin #onefootinfrontoftheother #mumistired #thanksheapsnana #yawn #olleespaz

[olleespaz-blog]

Friendship

I have Mum friends. And I have Real friends. I’m not really at the stage where my Mum friends have crossed over to the other category. I guess you get Mum friends because of your children. Real friends usually have been around since before kids. So it stands to reason that as your kids grow and change some of these people will move in and out of you life. My kids go through friends like changing underwear. A few stay but on any given day they’re friends with one and arguing with another. My eldest is 4. And next year is school. And all the kids my kid was friends with are going away. All their paths are going in new directions, like ours. And with them go my Mum friends. I mean, I like them and all, but after weeks and then months apart... the kids will be different people. So next year brings new Mum friends for me. I’m a bit apprehensive. Always having to find a smile and extra energy to be friends with my kids friends parents. I’m pretty damn likable (self proclaimed) and I just find it exhausting doing this dance over and over. Hopefully we get to keep a few from the very beginning. So then - surely? - at some point, those ones can cross over into Real friends. The type of friend that you can just do wine and pizza with on a Wednesday night because you both had a shit day and need an unwind. Where the kids can be around each other easily and it’s not weird. Where nothing is forced. Where there is no judgement if the house is a mess or my kid wees on a fence. But I have hope. Parenting is challenging. I completely overlooked the amount of growth I still have to do as a person and parent. When you become an adult you’re like ‘Sweet, I made it. I’m here. I’ve arrived. I know who I am’. And then you have kids and it’s like you’re back to square one, just figuring it out. But Mum friends, or Real friends, some days just having some empathy and understanding is all you need to push forward. So I’m glad I have both. No matter how tiring. Or how temporary.

[olleespaz-blog]

REPETITION - People don’t have real conversations anymore. It’s either complaining about what is going wrong, or making a joke out of what is going wrong. I spend all day with preschoolers and it’s rare to have any form of adult conversation. So I end up outstaying my welcome at the coffee place; daycare; the pool; the gym; the butchers; the supermarket; the bakery; the newsagent. Any place with an adult really. But it’s all small talk. Having a joke about the kids and the day. Making sure I’ve got the ‘winning’ ticket. Side note: it’s NEVER been the winning ticket. So aside from my random and sporadic moments of adult contact I am now accustomed to the daily routine of repeating myself over and over to little humans who ignore me. Fun times. So we go out. To the shops. Or the park. For more of the same.

[olleespaz-blog]

I-Spy: Where I grew up there wasn’t much of interest. Your typical country town, but surrounded by vineyards. Far from the big city you have to make do with what you have, and we had one of these. A spy base. It was just what all the kids called it, like our little town was a secret headquarters for some superhero or villain. As I’ve gotten older I have never really let go of the spy-base theory, it’s always been plausible. Google says they are weather ‘monitoring’ towers. I tell my kids every time we drive past that it’s a spy base. Because that’s how I remember them. #mylegacy #spybases #notagolfball #drivingwithkids #olleespaz

[olleespaz-blog]

Neighbours

As far as I’m concerned I have some pretty awesome neighbours. The religious ones with lots of kids. The empty-nesters working full time who leave water out for my cats, who have all but moved into their patio area to escape our kids. The dog lovers over the road. All of which I can borrow an egg or some flour from. And you can be absolutely certain you lucked out with your neighbours when the rubbish bag rips on the way to the bin, spewing nappies and food and all things nasty. And your neighbour is prepared to point and laugh at you, while you dry wrench cleaning it up!

[olleespaz-blog]

It’s been a while

It’s been a while for a lot of things. There is one particular thing the stands out for me, and that’s how long it’s been since I put pen to paper. Although now there’s a new forum. I don’t just scribble my words on loose paper and file it away in a journal or file to gather dust. My brain feels like it’s been gathering dust. Not writing. So today is as good a day as any. As a cynic I find myself criticizing everything. And sleep deprivation -because, KIDS- has led me to become far more irritable, far faster than ever before. But there’s plenty out there in the digital universe to whinge and complain about. So around my 36th birthday last year I decided to switch up my Facebook profile. I culled the haters and negativity. I put everything positive at the top of my feed. I’d hoped this would lead to a more positive mindset and energy in my life. Shit still goes wrong on the daily. I don’t think my subconscious is willing to let me completely off the hook. I don’t know how to blog. I spent the day googling this and that. To be honest, it was actually 2 days. It felt good. And then I just felt anxious and nervous. Maybe I’ll write about me. My feelings. My life. My opinions. My preferences. Like someone famous. Someone well known and not quite so anonymous as myself. Or maybe it’ll be a series of funny anecdotes on how today went wrong and how my kids drove me up the wall. It’s remarkable how those we love unconditionally can push our buttons like no other. I’ll try and keep the complaining to a minimum, the world already has enough of that. In a way this is like my origin story, delving into the vast online pond where all the little fish want their 5 minutes. But it sure beats housework, arguing with my kids over some insignificant crap or watching yet another game of footy with my husband. So it begins....