Just Collectin'

Here and there

[omnidistance]

Fun and bizarre event that just happened in my life:

My wife and I got stuck in the Midwest for three extra days because our plane flights kept getting cancelled after the third flight was cancelled we tried to rent a car to drive home. No one would let us take a car on a one way trip out of state.

Except-

U-Haul

So we drove an empty U-haul for 13 hours straight through the night. It was delirious. I drove in the middle of the night with all the trucks, who treated me like the little sibling their friend was being forced to bring to their hang out.

It was fun in a way to be on the dark, mostly empty roads. I could see other trucks by their lights. I made friends and enemies. I learned how truck drivers pull off the side of the road to sleep- they just fucking turn their blinkers on and pull off- god help anyone behind them. Once they decide it’s sleep time and spot a safe place it’s time. I have so much more empathy for when truck drivers say don’t drive behind them. They really cannot see you there.

I kind of wish I liked poetry. It was a poetic experience. Every part of me is still tired.

Here’s Leslie at her new home in New Jersey. She was good to us. U-Haul really is for the lesbians.

[gl-saveme]

Loving the daughter of the man who betrayed your own father?

HEART CODE (2026) | EP 7

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[undeadhousewife]

[eeby-deeby-dark-and-creepy]

Ok now I’m curious… Which do you prefer:

I have lived in and out of the city, I prefer the city

I have only lived in the city, I prefer the city

I have only lived out of the city, I prefer the city

I have lived in and out of the city, I prefer out of the city

I have only lived in the city, I prefer out of the city

I have only lived out of the city, I prefer out of the city

Bald/vanilla extract/I reject dichotomies under all circumstances/I can’t read

Remaining time: 2 days 23 hours

[beggars-opera]

#sorry not to be a snobby New Yorker but this post is about New York. people in the tags talking about the city#and the city they mean is like. columbus. shut the fuck up

Nothing in the original post or the poll indicates that this is about New York. They may have meant it that way but respectfully this is not that serious; let people have their damn fun.

[autailome]

the original tweet is 100% about New York lol but yes have fun enjoy

[solradguy]

Ok I guess if you want to get really absolutely technical about it, I guess Martin Luther's 95 Theses were a zine. I guess. I suppose.

[fishing-princess]

For thousands of years humanity has selectively bred chickens to have larger breasts and to have to lay eggs constantly. We did it to get more meat and per chicken, but from the perspective of the domesticated chickens they’re sorta living in a very specific fetish scenario

[aliceoverzero]

The first tags I see on this are absolutely inspired. Incredible pervert lesbian website.

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[pingintech]

literally a cartoon bad guy

[winter-wise]

"Hello and welcome to the final of the Liars' Olympics. In each corner of the room, the contestants are warming up with some of their classic lies.

"Odysseus is claiming that he is not Odysseus, and is in fact just a weary and aged traveller who has wandered into the competition arena by accident. His wife, Penelope, is looking on, clearly very proud. He is pretending to have never met her before.

"Meanwhile, in the other corner, Miles Vorkosigan is - yes, he's claiming that he did not enter the contest under his own initiative, and that he is in fact operating directly under orders from Simon Illyan and that this is strictly part of his ImpSec duties."

[scamguy]

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

[hokkustar]

We should start a rumour about George going to Red Bull and Max to Mercedes bcs I need him out of this fuckass team

[allegedly-human]

nothing is more tumblr than having a tumblr sexyman wiki and then warn you to not find some of those men sexy because it's problematic

[phantomrose96]

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

[odddogs]

(source)

i think he'd do a really good job running a little noodle stand maybe a food truck where he sells fusion cuisine, something w/ soul food

[shock]

the wording on this Jack russell vid beamed a permanent mark onto my brain

[monochrome-stars]

big fan of telling people "have fun" when they say theyre going to the restroom

[quasi-normalcy]

I feel like Douglas Adams is to Terry Pratchett as Christopher Marlowe is to William Shakespeare. Like yeah, he's good and he definitely paved the way, but Pratchett is an all-timer.

[plus-size-aesthetics]