Damn kids get off my lawn

30s-ish, she/they. Internet old person. Absolutely not normal about anything.

[slothful-rabbit]

I laughed so fucking hard at this

[paint-lady]

[thesewordare]

THESE WORDS ARE ACCEPTED.

[parkchanwoohoo]

I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account

It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"

[charoitenigma]

no, white baby, racism isn’t a valid trauma response.

[cutecipher]

women love me because i am cute and only freak out badly sometimes

[pangur-and-grim]

when I was a kid I tried writing a story about a pegasus that hatched from an egg. a girl found it and brought it to her house, and the line that follows is now permanently stuck in my head. because the pegasus was brand new, right? just born? experiencing the world with pussy fresh eyes? so when it saw the windows of her house, it said "what the heck, it's as though transparent lakes have somehow been shaped into rectangles and firmed up to make the rectangles solid."

and after writing that line, I just shut down Microsoft word in disgust and walked away and did something else for a while. never touched that story again, because jesus christ.

[pangur-and-grim]

[tranthony]

grout white shark

[tintoysoldier]

In WWI, a tradition in German regiments was to photograph the tallest and shortest member of the regiment side by side. These photos were then often sold as postcards.

[hoodiegal]

I love how in most of these the tall person looks happy or neutral and the short person looks like they're considering the consequences of killing the camera man

[cheaphalloweencostume]

im not usually one to complain about scientifically inaccurate skeleton props for halloween but i saw something at Michael’s today that, to say the least, has vexed and enchanted me

[heckyeahponyscans]

I watched the live action version of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" on Youtube and I was not ready for the utter lack of emotions from the CGI animals.

Nala looking concerned about Simba hiding something about his past, a comparison:

Also, in CGI this song called "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" does not take place at night.

[naamahdarling]

[woodsdyke]

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

[almostmaya]

HELP

[mclennonyaoi]

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

[alexaloraetheris]

Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.

So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.

[alexaloraetheris]

Task failed abysmally, I'm having a threesome on Tuesday. My job is to look pretty and hand over the props.

[alexaloraetheris]

That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.

[alexaloraetheris]

Please stop reblogging this, if it ends up on Tiktok some teenybopper is gonna call me bad ace representation.

[nottithonus]

Ohhhh I see, so when YOU rearrange someone's guts its "Hot" and "Sexy", but when I do it, it's "medical malpractice" and "the act of a deeply disturbed individual"

[syn4k]

[talking about my favorite characters] okay so THESE two come in a bonded pair and if i think about them too hard i start taking poison damage

[inlandwest]

[gaydiation-poisoning]

While I am fully on board with the "Everyone needs to interact with media other than stuff made for kids" but ngl some of y'all just see anything remotely colourful or joyful and assume it's for children

[coern]

no matter what there will always be a png of the Character. be advised.