ilya.

Congratulations to people who don’t get obsessed easily. I cannot relate but I am sure it is lovely. Unfortunately I only know how to let things consume my entire soul.

[stabthroughme]

Ilya is the white woman who rescues "kitties" and "puppies" from the sides of roads only to bring them to vets who go "this is a mountain lion/coyote/cougar/lynx pup" and on one occasion that Shane will never let him live down "this is a bear cub".

Shane has the nearest wildlife sanctuaries/rehabs at the Cottage and in Ottawa on speed dial. They're on a first name basis with Ilya and most of them don't even know Ilya or Shane play hockey they're just "the Russian with the white woman animal whispering powers and his long suffering husband"

[soursevenz]

shout out hudson williams for reminding me that i do indeed need to start reading actual books and not just fanfiction about shane hollander getting bent over and busted wide open over and over and over again

[prokopetz]

You are an unreliable narrator because your coping mechanisms for your deep-seated trauma forbid you from acknowledging the reality of the situation. I am an unreliable narrator because I sincerely have no idea what the fuck is going on.

[thememedaddy]

[yrsonpurpose]

Do you want that problem to go away? I don't ever want that problem to ever go away.

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[riverlarking]

free museum trips are wasted on unappreciative middle schoolers. let me go

[finnslay]

things you DO NOT need to be a man

a dick

he/him pronouns

XY chromosomes

things you DO need to be a man

the swiftness of a coursing river

the force of a great typhoon

the strength of a raging fire

the mysteriousness of the dark side of the moon

^this post was brought to you by LGBT^

Let's

Get down to

Business

To defeat the huns

[draconym]

My tattoo artist told me his teenage son came out to him as trans by giving him a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

"That's cute," I said.

"It was NOT cute!" he snapped. "I thought he was pregnant."

[guelwaar]

im always up at ass o clock doing god knows what

[bumblebeebats]

The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

[facts-i-just-made-up]

What is Tumblr?

Tumblr is the opiate of the very, very few.

[feluka]

imagine if i did my work. if i sat down and Did it. and it was Done. can you even imagine such a thing

[mawofthemagnetar]

What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?

When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.

[cdzen]

burnout from not doing anything

[promethes]

sitting here. unkissed. when will it end

[ryebreadgf]

real yearners miss shit that never even happened