What a stupid thing to make a commercial out of
((Starter for @ondreaofhollywoo ))
âCan some one tell me why the Caramel macciato that was just handed has absolutely no Caramel?â It had been a relatively stressful day for the middle-aged horse; the lull of work in between shootings for Philbert while they built a new set meant Bojack was at the will of his agent for any side work that came his way. And the work she selected for him of all things was a commercial for hemorrhoid cream. He wasnât that old! But it was what he was given and it was supposed to be an easy job, it was supposed to get Philbert out in the minds of the audience, but the little errand boy heâd gotten had gotten him the wrong thing.Â
âSir, you asked for a Caramel Macciato without the caramel,â he said in retaliation. Oh. Right. Stupid.
âThen get it with Caramel, Carl!â He snapped back at the younger man, throwing the drink into the trash, muttering under his breath. âGod, I canât believe Iâm doing this stupid commercial.â He strolled over to the refreshments table and picked up a muffin, shoving the entire thing into his mouth. At least there wasnât any honeydew on display.
âYeah yeah, like that. Make it sound sexy. As if youâve been sick and your voice is naturally husky as if it was trying to heal. Really sell it, babyâ An otter in a dark suit sat behind a table, waving his hands about, directing the camera and microphone guy to move to a better angle. On the other side, seated on a stool on a rather impeccably lit set, was the horse girl who was receiving such odd instructions. âSexyâŚâ sheâd repeat, running a hand through her hair, raising a brow. âFor a hemorrhoid commercial, you want me to be sexy?â she clarified, voice rather uncertain. âYeah yeah, love, donât think too much about it. Put that voice to good use, maybe bite your lip a bitâ She was getting paid to be there. Everyone starts somewhere, yeah? âGotchaâ Two takes and things couldnât have gone smoother. Almost as smooth as the hemorrhoid cream she was trying to sell. She couldnât wait to put this garbage on her resume. Rinse and repeat. Youâve gotta start somewhere. Everyone starts somewhere. Youâre starting at hemorrhoid cream. After a proper take the snazzy otter man allowed her to take a break, giving her the opportunity to shove her face full of whatever free snacks they had on top of the drinks they offered. Sheâd inhale. They were old, her luck, but it was food so whatever. She strolled on over, trying to hold back the urge to eat everything that table had to offer in front of so many strangers. Her curious gaze scanned the set. Maybe not so familiar, huh⌠The Bojack Horseman and his apparent fall from grace. She wouldnât dare say anything though, and would mind her business as she stuffed her cheeks full of stale muffin.
