Super High Standards

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The internet has ruined the world!

I mean, not really though.

Click this link and your jaw will drop!

Not actually though.

Funniest video ever!

Well, probably not.

The hyperbolization (yes, it’s a word, deal with it) of language is probably not solely due to the internet.  But, having grown up during the revolution of the world wide web, I’m going to go ahead and blame it on that.  

Much like global warming (or not, you know, depending on your view point), things have been escalating and will soon reach a point of no return.  One day something amazing will happen, and we will simply have no word to describe it. So we will throw adjectives at it but people will just roll their eyes, mutter “click bait,” and move on.  

It’s like we’re giving every worthless peice of nothing a participation award.  There are no winners when everyone is a winner!

I’ll tell you what, if I saw a link that said “it’s not insanely surprising what happens at the end, but it might make you chuckle,” I’d be more likely to click it than “ZOMG! You’ll never believe what happens next!!!!!!!!!”  It may also keep from triggering my hulk rage.  Because ridiculous internet hyperbole gets me furious and I’M GOING TO THROW THIS COMPUTER THROUGH A WINDOW!

Not really, though.

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Pigeon Swamp State Park

Pigeon Swamp State Park: for when just being in New Jersey isn’t dirty enough.

You pull into the park and unload your picnic basket and blanket.  In the distance, the relaxing hum of the New Jersey Turnpike is only interrupted by the occasional semi truck air braking and blaring its 130 decibel horn.  

Walking down the path to your picnic spot, you are greeted by millions of mosquitos who arise from the wetlands as if they’d been waiting for you - akin to Cinderella and her animal helpers.  

As you prepare for your feast, your flying friends are joined by their larger companions.  Hundreds of pigeons help you lay out your blanket, and weigh it down by relieving themselves on the corners.  

By the time you go to unload your basket of goodies, any consumables have been replaced by a snake choking down a pigeon that is still flapping.  You abandon all goods (and hope), and tear ass back to your car, pursued by swarms of blood sucking insects and angry rat birds demanding more of your food and soul.

*This is how boring driving through New Jersey is.*

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One Blog Only

Writing a blog shouldn’t be this hard.  There are hundreds, thousands, of terrible blogs out there, taking up valuable internet space with their poor writing or disjointed topics or borrowed ideas.  So, clearly, starting a blog is easy and can be accomplished by the most amoebic of aspiring writers.  Why, then, do I find it so hard to pull the trigger?  

For one, I don’t want to join the ranks of idiot bloggers, irresponsibly shooting their stupid all over everyone.  I find myself unwilling to put a product out there unless it is both unique and useful.  And a blog with only one post?  Not impressive.  

“Everyone starts somewhere.”  “You have to lay the groundwork.”  Blah blah blah.  I prefer to start at “relatively successful” instead of “paying my dues.”  If we’re all in the lobby waiting for the elevator to accomplishment, I want to slip into a side staircase and run up a few flights just so I can step on that elevator slightly higher than the masses.  

So, instead of writing a blog or refining topics, I try to think of clever blog names and complain that I want to blog but don’t want to just write about myself.  How self-centered is that?  Here, millions of people with the whole internet at your fingertips, read about me!

But what do I have the expertise to write about?  I don’t have the schooling to be considered an expert in anything.  Some life experience, but not that of a worldly traveler with wisdom to exude.  Does a blog even need a specific topic?  Perhaps not, but without one you are without a target audience.  And then we are likely back to publishing a sub par product.  If you want to create a successful product, how can you not even have a target audience?  

Join me, then, friends, in the journey to average.  We shall traipse along the paths that lead us in so many different directions we never see the end of one. Here you will find a place where motivation stops at a certain level.  Where you will be pushed just far enough to be good and not great.  For with great power comes great responsibility, and who wants all that?  With good mediocrity comes occasional praise and less disappointment, that’s what I say!

I shall close with a rallying cry I like to say to myself when the going gets tough- good enough!

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Second blog post

Because a blog with only one post is not impressive.