smol and fragile

personal / mental health blog main: cat-pancakes

[only-an-egg]

so I have been on testosterone pellets for about a year and the doctor had marked the reason I need them as "testicular hypofunction" which I think is hilarious but since my legal gender is male it's definitely easier for the insurance to accept that as a legitimate condition than gender dysphoria so I never brought it up

now that doctor is retiring so my next appointment is scheduled with someone else who I have not met with yet. I just got a call from their office and the person said the new doctor was concerned because my bloodwork indicated I have high levels of estradiol which is a female hormone and this happened because I have been on high levels of testosterone so I need to take a medication that neutralizes it.

I had to keep myself from laughing as I asked if it was in my chart that I am transgender. That's why this hormone is "elevated"

they said they would speak with the doctor about this and get back to me

[junkdrawertales]

almost none of the reasons why i support abortion rights have anything to do with babies. really it’s more about the fact that I think the government shouldn’t be able to force you to lend all your organs to someone else and change irreparably in the process. is a fetus a person? I don’t care! If it is a person, I don’t want anyone to be forced to host one against their will! If it isn’t a person, guess what? Nobody should be forced to host one against their will! What’s a soul? What’s a person? When does life begin? IRRELEVANT! A world in which the government can force anyone to manufacture an entirely new human body at the cost of their own is not a world I want to live in!

[afriendlyblackhottie]

I’m at 3

[only-an-egg]

im happy to see ads encouraging people to get vaccinated but oh fuck I cannot handle seeing needles unexpectedly

just watching yt videos and suddenly see a person getting stabbed with a needle and ahhh im lightheaded now and also shaking

[asimovsideburns]

literally for the rest of my life whenever something gets stuck I’m going to be like “what is this, the Suez Canal?”

[saint-batrick]

i yelled "IS THE FUCKING EVER GIVEN UP THERE???" in frustration at traffic earlier.

[only-an-egg]

I work at a warehouse for am...n and the power went out four hours ago. There are generators or whatever so there’s light & running water, but like

we’ve been unable to work for f o u r h o u r s and they still won’t let people leave without using their personal time

[wo2bzy1vl4-deactivated20220710]

the reason why other ppl with learning/developmental disabilities can't read like they did in middle school & high school was because books were the easiest way to access serotonin & dopamine since you weren't allowed to use your phone, & they also gave you something to hyperfocus on as a means of mental escape. entering college & the adult world means you can freely use your tech so you can access serotonin/dopamine faster, making books seem less "interesting" in comparison when in reality your mind is just used to the instant gratification, which isn't bad at all. it's like making your own dinner vs ordering out.

[noodles-07]

oh

[thesevenumbrellas]

Oh

[dickspooky]

Is it gay to crave the gentle scraping of stubble against your chin when you’re being kissed?

[taykoutmccleod]

yes, next question

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

[unicornfan]

i think a more interesting question than “when did you ‘join’ the internet” is “what was the first username you ever used”

my very first ever username (that i remember) was HunterKiller75 cause i thought starcraft was the coolest shit in elementary school & hydralisks were my fav unit, and 75 was my fav number

[hapalopus]

Pros of having ADHD:

Can track prey for hours without losing focus

Special interest: basket weaving

Always fidgeting - banging rocks together and discovers flint-knabbing

Distracted by berries

Stimming by making noises, discovers the sksksk that lures out squirrels

Can't sleep at night, great at guarding the cave while family sleeps

Sensitive senses means discovering and refusing to eat rotten/poisonous food

Sees bird eat nut - impulsively tries it too and discovers that nuts taste good

Cons of having ADHD:

Can't do homework

Impulse buys

Can't use a calendar

Can't sit still in classroom

[smute]

born in the wrong generation

[specificfuckery]

[lyrapuppy]

Well fuck

[beautifulterriblequeen]

My soul has always been ancient

[shenanighenz]

Can I add that I know ADHD and autistic people in service/hospitality that are excellent at their jobs because of the way our brain works, but these jobs are often seen as less so they aren’t appreciated. We have useful skills that even fit into now but they find a way to make us less.

[autosadist]

people need to stop trying to invoke death of the author as a weapon that they can use to parry criticism of their interest in something they know was created by someone who is irredeemably shitty

the hyper-white world of harry potter doesnt exist as a good place beyond its author's shitty beliefs - it is a place where native people are two-dimensional set pieces for worldbuilding, house elves delight in being slaves, and goblins are innately scheming, greedy little hook-nosed caricatures of jews that control the banks of the setting

you people need to shut up about death of the author because you have no clue what you are talking about or doing. you also need read another fucking book

[the-memedaddy]

Meirl

[technoskittles]

I keep forgetting that NT people don’t do math the same way people with ADHD do it until I try to explain my thought process and get weird looks from people who are like “how the FUCK did you do that?”

whoops

[technoskittles]

and for those of you who DON’T know what I’m talking about I’ll give you an example

42 + 29 = 71

for neurotypical people, they use the method we were all taught in grade school where you add 9 + 2 to get 11 and then move the extra one over to make 4 + 2 + 1 which equals 7 to give you 71

but the way I do it (as many other people with ADHD as I’ve come to find out) is this:

okay so you have 42 + 29. if you take 1 away from 42 and give it to 29 to make it an even 30, you now have 41 + 30 which is an easy 71

or, another problem: 53 + 88

round that 88 up to 90 and take the two from 53 so you have 51 + 90. but wait I can make this easier. take 10 more from 51 to make 90, 100 and now you have 41 + 100 which equals 141

it’s just…so much faster? and makes so much more sense to me

[technoskittles]

also? the math teachers that always took off points for kids not showing their work?

fucking HATED that. as someone who could get from point A to point D in my head in a split second, I felt like showing my work was often a waste of time when sometimes it felt like I just automatically knew the answer

or, if I did put down my work, I went through a process that wasn’t taught and would get points reduced anyway because it wasn’t the way we were taught just because my brain worked differently than the rest of the class. my answer was always right. they just didn’t like how I got it

never did like that much 

[technoskittles]

also, this is another way of doing it that I just saw on facebook that I’ve also done before

because I do things to that extent too

so if you give me something like 37 + 45 I’ll go “well 30 + 40 is 70 and 7 + 5 is 12 so 70 + 12 is 82″

there’s just…so many ways to do math that make more sense than the way I was taught

[christiewryte]

Holy shit THAT’S why I never liked math in school.

[smally-poly-and-off-the-wally]

wait that’s an ADHD thing????

[punny-trash]

[kingwildex-deactivated20190919]

I’m at 5 what about you?

[spicy-vaginal-tacos]

Every so often I’ve seen a post floating around about how important it is to brush your teeth even when you’re in an extreme depressive episode and I will 10000% stand by that and I’m here to remind you to PLEASE take care of your teeth. Especially now during the quarantine (I know this is a bit late but bear with me) so even if it’s the only thing you “do” today, please brush your teeth, and try to floss at least once a week if you can. I know times are tough right now and I know people are struggling but the damage that could potentially happen if you just abandon oral hygiene could be deadly in your future.

[explorationsinlove]

I lost ALL my teeth (I'm only 28) because I let depression and anxiety get the best of me. Dentures are thousands of dollars (even at dental schools, like the one I was a patient at) and really fucking suck, which is after they rip your bones out of your mouth with pliers.

Local cavities lead to local abscesses which lead to systemic infection and often death. The pain of abscesses is sometimes so great it makes you want to commit suicide just so it'll stop.

I'm just one of those people who have to learn things the hard way.

[nondescriptrogue]

I wanted to add, if the sensory or taste of toothpaste is too much, you can go without. There's no rule that says you have to use toothpaste every time. Brushing with a plain toothbrush is better than not doing it at all.

[sakurastallion]

ok on GOD that last reblog makes me feel a little better

[only-an-egg]

If you have the money I highly recommend getting a water flosser!

It uses a small jet of water to clean between your teeth without all the hassle of using floss

I find it to be much easier and it washes out all the gross post-brushing mouth feels so I don’t feel like avoiding brushing any more!

[your-aspd-dad]

Sometimes thinking you don't have any trauma is a symptom of trauma.

Sometimes the only way your brain can deal with traumatic experiences is to convince you they're normal, not a big deal, or to block them out entirely.

Sometimes it takes years and years and years to look back at or remember something that happened to you and realise it was not normal, it was traumatic, and it affected you more than you ever realised.

If your brain is doing what brains do when exposed to trauma, but you cant think of anything traumatic you've been through or anything "severe" enough to "count", don't stress out about it too much. You're protecting yourself from the pain you've been through, the pain you're still going through. In time, you'll get to the point where you can confront and recognise your trauma. For now, allow yourself a little self-validation. You deserve it.