Jaded Cryptid

Living one day at a time. I enjoy silly things and cute animals. 30-something NB just trying to survive.

[terraswallows]

I was confused you see.

[depsidase]

[flame-shadow]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

[fucking-relax]

oh, Sisyphus! i got you

[nihilisticlinguistics]

adulthood notes:

The Rodeo Rule: you only have to do it for the first time once.

The Rohan Rule: if you are at a social function full of new people and you want to be liked, find someone doing important work like setup or food prep and offer to help.

The Tutorial Mode Rule: to navigate an unfamiliar situation where you fear you will mess up an interaction, preface the interaction by mentioning that you've never done this before, and let them know if you have a specific concern or question.

The Rocket Science Rule: most new things you want to try seem very complicated but are simple when taken step by step.

The [X] Will Remember That Rule: if you need to make small talk with the same person on a regular basis, try to save one fact or current event in their life from a given conversation and bring it up next time you talk.

The Cool Binder Rule: by wearing clothes and accessories that are to your taste instead of trying to blend in, people will be more likely to compliment you and show interest in you as a person.

[the-haiku-bot]

The Rodeo Rule:

you only have to do it

for the first time once.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[burntundertones]

[greseadraws]

dungeon meshi but they end up in the back rooms, a cursed idea that was eating away at my brain

[nitewrighter]

Peer-reviewing @monikoishi's tags because they're banger.

[ohcaptains]

[enyter]

[berkeleygirl3]

[genderfluid-druid]

[ID: Photo of the stacks of a library overlaid with text: This is the only data center I want funded. End ID]

[starrynet]

[newtypezaku]

[kosmogrl]

[johnnysilverhandssuitcasenuke]

[caffedorzo]

[nickythehickey]

there are a few people actually whose blogs just look like this to me and i hope they know i still love them

[stupidpetface]

[z-nogyrop]

imagine we make contact with an alien species that’s like, vastly technologically superior, they could fucking kill us in a single shot if they really wanted to

and this species has never eaten salad before. and we show them salad and they eat it and they’re like holy living fuck this is tasty. and suddenly they’re offering us huge houses with all kind of advanced technological shit and incredible medical care and all the amenities and everything, with the only condition that we keep making salad for them.

and like, salad isn’t even hard to make. grab some plants, dump em in a bowl. it doesn’t have to be fancy salad, they’ll fall all over themselves for the most mediocre salad in the world. we can make so much salad that we’re practically drowning in it, even if we eat some of the salad ourselves. and in exchange we’re protected from danger, we have great living conditions, it’s basically paradise compared to life on earth

imagine

[z-nogyrop]

now realize that this is what bees have done to us

[drchucktingle]

today is happening just once and it is READY FOR YOU with mystery and adventure and glittering love hidden around every corner. it will be here and gone before you know. TIME TO TROT OUT THERE AND MEET IT