fetch the bolt cutters, i've been in here too long

she/her, 16, infp-t, writer, mostly an MDV stan account but occasionally other content

[bittersweetsweetheart]

I think we need a Lolita movie by a female director. Sophia Coppola or Autumn de Wilde, maybe.

[doloresdisparue]

dedications on lolita retellings (lo, lolita child, roger fishbite, my dark vanessa)

[fleursdesmorts]

[flamecoloredparadise]

kate elizabeth russell, my dark vanessa // phoebe bridgers, motion sickness

[victorianvamps]

My Dark Vanessa, Kate Elizabeth Russel

[miss-aadhya-deactivated20231031]

I think one of the things I liked the most about My Dark Vanessa is the complexity of her character, and the portrayal of a victim—because she was a victim— that isn’t perfect and lovable and doesn’t suddenly turn out okay and happy at the end

She’s harsh, angry, rude and mean too, and it makes for a very engaging narrator, coping in all the wrong ways, destroying herself psychically and mentally, being what you can call problematic and dark. I really like that depth, the way she went beyond of what we commonly expect to be a victim of child sexual abuse, how she defined and redefined herself throughout her life and continues to do so to the very end, because trauma doesn’t really end and she has a long road ahead.

All survivors are different, and she’s one that’s not easy to like from the perspective of another character, one that struggles and falls and yet still deserves as much help as the rest

[hungryfictions]

Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa

[redwing]

I think what you fixated on during the first 2020 covid lockdown pandemic informs a lot about how your upcoming covid years would eventually play out . MBTIs but for mental deterioration in isolation

[m0tel6mxzzy-deactivated20250326]

vanessa wye :(((

[llovelymoonn]

hiii!! can you please make a web weaving post inspired by anaïs nin's quote "i watched life and wanted to be a part of it but found it painfully difficult." <3 <3

anaïs nin the diary of anaïs nin, vol 6: 1955-1966 \\ mary oliver thirst: "when i am among the trees" \\ roland barthes a lover's discourse: fragments (via @funeral) \\ paula carter dna communiqué \\ may sarton diary of a solitude (via @222tender) \\ mahmoud darwish if i were another (via @astereaus) \\ mary oliver devotions: "tecumseh" (via @weltenwellen) \\ mary oliver new and selected poems, volume two: "work sometimes" (via @weltenwellen)

kofi

[lolitafan1997]

This scene was never in the final movie, but I found it in the shooting script. Here is some of it below.

[onlyhereformydarkvanessa]

it's the "understand it perfectly, you mean" for me

[newvision]

— Kate Elizabeth Russell from My Dark Vanessa

[onlyhereformydarkvanessa]

There are few things keeping me sane and Kate Elizabeth Russell's Girl Journal is one of them

[cor-ardens-archive]

my dark vanessa

[onlyhereformydarkvanessa]

she's not the authority, she just talks like she is, and is treated like she is, listened to. i'm not the authority, i'm certainly not treated like i am, but i do think (and write) like i am. none of us are the authority, but we all want to be, and we all act like we are sometimes. our voices mingle in the dark, our traumas and similarities colliding and bumping against each other, but then sliding away when we realize our differences.

this made me think about how i've been braver lately, more outspoken, or maybe the better word is reckless. i feel like i should stick with "brave," though, give myself some credit. it's embarrassing to admit, but it's rare that i have that kind of character development, and i'm trying to overcome the very human tendency to obsess over our shortcomings and never acknowledge the ways that we've improved. and i mean really acknowledge. but even though i want to feel proud of myself, for some reason, i only feel pinpricks of shame. i feel fraudulent and dangerous and like i'm about to go off some deep end. this has been a hard school year for me. dwelling in what could be enabling behavior for what could be sexual trauma, falling behind academically, letting my OCD take over at one point, still feeling generally uneasy on a regular basis now. the brunt of this pain was converted into rage, and what to do with that rage was challenging. if i fully suppressed that rage, i would've felt like the same old coward, like i'd never change, and without a voice to the pain i might've fallen apart even more. but if i expressed the rage in its full capacity, i probably would've done something insane. so i settled for a weird in-between, a passive aggressive midway, and although that might seem like nothing, i feel like i've been more unfiltered than i've ever been before. like i've been able to actually say stop without regretting it *that much* later (depending on the situation.) i'm at the intersection of pride and regret and i'm sort of talking about multiple different things here and this is weird to write but it felt like it needed to be written. i followed a whim. where will i be in a few years?

[machine-saint]

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

[vomityaoi]

i think melinda sordino and young vanessa wye wouldve been good friends