Anxiety and thinkings

don't perceive me

[oooh-anxietys]

Yes I love being deeply paranoid about things that'll never happen and have never happened.

Anyway this is a rant blog. I don't expect you to relate or anything idk I just need a blog that no one knows me on.

Uuuh yeah

[oooh-anxietys]

How the hell am I supposed to explain that to someone. Fuck

[oooh-anxietys]

Can't even read angst to distract myself because it's all x reader bullshit

[oooh-anxietys]

Im such an idiot I hate this.

Half the time all I do is waste things.

I should've realized I couldn't make the stupid commitment.

Why am I even allowed to make choices anymore. Fuck.

[oooh-anxietys]

It's my own fault. Why be this upset about it. It's my fault for not caring for it properly. I shouldn't have been allowed to do this. I should've known better. They should've known better. Never let me make a big commitment I'll ruin it. And here's my proof. And it's my own fault for not doing the simplest fucking thing to care for it.

[oooh-anxietys]

You ever get the feeling you're never gonna do anything relevant in your lifetime?

Like. You see all these people and creators doing such amazing things and you're like.

How could I ever do something that's this meaningful to this many people.

That so many people adore the characters of and love endlessly

And how so much more is built off of this thing that was made.

And you're just lost as to how you could ever do something like that.

Like there's so many things that you want to do in your lifetime that you never have the motivation for?

And how could you. One person. Ever do something that impactful?

How could I create something that that many people love.

I'm just one person. How could I ever do something that meaningful when I hardly ever have the energy to properly take care of myself

[sokodraws]

fine, you want the butcher? come on

[natalieironside]

"'I don't know' isn't an answer" alright man then I'll just. Fuckin. Enter my philosophical mind-palace and check the fuckin akashic records. Real quick lemme just catch and cook and eat the Salmon of All Knowledge. Tell me ur question again so I can real quick climb to the highest branches of the Yggdrasil and lay it at the feet of Freda the all-wise Queen of Heaven. Dickhead.

[oooh-anxietys]

Stopped going to therapy because of that. When I said I didn't know my therapist would just stay silent and stare at me until I gave an expected answer so I was pulling stuff outa my ass sometimes. So basically the place where I wanted to learn to unmask and process my emotions and fix my patterns made my masking worse and made me feel more inadequate.

[nebulae-d]

"okay, but are you a nonbinary woman or a nonbinary man" im going to nonbury you in a fucking hole.

[oooh-anxietys]

Oooouuugh I want a binder

[oooh-anxietys]

Having a realization about something that you went through as a kid being a lot worse than you processed it for a long time is an interesting experience.

Holy crap it's bad.

[oooh-anxietys]

FUCK WHY ISN'T SPOTIFY WORKING. MY MUSIC MAN

[oooh-anxietys]

I should be sedated I think

[r04ches]

am i even mentally ill or am i just living in some kind of infinite torture chamber that would make anyone like this

[oooh-anxietys]

I think that's just how the world is at this point. Sorry bout that 👍

[oooh-anxietys]

Someone actually should just remove my ability to do anything 👍

[oooh-anxietys]

Eeeeh

Tummy hurt, nauseous, too hot.

Do I need food or sleep or some unseen thing

:( I don't like it

[oooh-anxietys]

Food!!!!