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I need a cute new look, hmm imma wait on crochet till March:) Ill go the wavy one. Man tonight I went on facebook and one of my dear friends took my look. Lord help me get over my pride and concern for silly things.

But everyone knows I wear burgundy, my lips are perpetually red, and I love sweatshirts mannnn adn i do long black crochet

Hmm so yeah looks like I may be living with Daisy:)

SO Ashleigh isn’t up here but JD will be. Where will the rest of my black peeps be tho....Lord take control!!! I wanna room with my friends! Acutually im not sure...Lord what do I want?

Well I am placed in St. Josephs in NJ. I prayed to the Lord right after walking in the shower I signed up and felt immensely better. Daisy and Ashleigh gonna be there too. I wonder who else? I hope people I like.

Actually if i’m honest I just care about Katie, Tolu, Chiamaka, Danielle..the rest ehhhh

I just had a crazy thought what if i accidentally posted this in FB, so much offense all around...

St. Josephs in NJ?

Lord please give me a direct sign on whether or not I should go for NJ for third year...WHAT IS BEST FOR ME? Please answer me! Just tell me!

anemoneofmyenemy

The Megacity of Carbon Valley, for the visual novel The Red Door

No Happy B-day for you

Yes i finally did it, I did simply what I needed to do. The young man is great and nice to look at but that’s it. I have a new love now, salmon, cooking, and crochet hairstyles. Ebay, Netflix, and Youtube will take care of me from now on, farewell! Enough brainspace, Lord I an continuously receptive, but I haven't heard a yes yet, so I WILL NOT WORRY, LESS WILL I TOIL.

Begone, unrequited love-sickness!

Hello carefree black girl magic:)

Ok yesterday after bible study was good:) Twas all good, twas all God. Why do I allow such silly non-nonchalant things to make me upset?

Here comes a thought

Take a moment to think of just, flexibility love and trust, take a moment to think of just, flexibility love and trust....

Here come a thought, that might alarm you. What someone said, and how it harmed you. Something you said, that failed to be charming. Suddenly all of my thoughts are swarming.

And OH, I’m losing touch, im losing sight, all these little things seem to matter so much. That they confuse me. And then I lose me.

Take a moment remind myself, to take a moment and find myself, take a moment to ask myself if this is how I fall apart....

But its not!

Home is where the heart is.

So i went home for the 4 day weekend, spent time with family, went to church, celebrated Temi’s 21st bday:) I miss home already.

Hmm lemme write my fanfiction here so no one can see..Hmm after im done my work...

Oh thanks you Lord my preceptor is at WMC, I won’t have to drive like crazy to get to him. Please Lord bless my experience with this man as my mentor!

Ug feeling really cold tonight..like chilly! I think its cause I didn’t really eat a real meat till 8:30 smh. Actually no I had breakfast from the cafeteria. But still

New hair and new season

Oh, I’m so excited, I’ve finally ordered my new crochet hair in the mail. Its the bobbi boss micro locs! Here is a picture, they were like sold out for a whole week but I finally got them as they restocked for the weekend! Its so silly how as soon as I get one style done, I’m ready for the next one. It hasn’t even been four weeks yet. They were hella expensive though (8 packs=$112) imma take really good care of them, and make sure I only spritz my scalp when I have them on. They gonna last for three cycles lol.

I really like my pencil locs but ehh, the installation doesn’t look as natural as I thought it should be. As soon as I got here though, I got sooo many compliments. I need to wash the my undergrowth this weekend tho, I think its starting to smell. SMH.

Club fair was yesterday, I spent time with the CMDA, the SNMA, and ASA tables. We were really lit, a lot of people could tell. The food helped too. I’m happy cause I got to spend a lot of time next to Jermyn, im liking him more and more. Alas, he’s like a star I can gaze at from a distance, if I get too close I think i’d get hurt. Not to mention I have suspicions he’s interested in Daisy (call it a hunch idk) Ok now to get back to studying.

See, the problem is that I'm inherently selfish. As soon as my___ see that their vacuum isn't working, my first instinct isn't to offer my own, its to hide mine and not vacuum my floor so they won't notice I have a working one.

And the only thing thats making me wanna help is me wanting them TO THINK THAT IM GENEROUS. That shouldn't even be the reason why.

And I was like that with Dionna and Ashaki too...I knew Debbie needed that bean bag...why am I so selfish? Logically I don't even need to be. I have a lot at this point, and I'm not even there.

And whats worse are that these are things that can't be seen. They are secret and propagate. But the Lord sees everything. Lord, how do I change? That initial reaction was so selfish. I know some would say its ‘natural’ but I wanna do better

Summer days have been fine

Hmmm so it really doesn’t make much sense, does it? That during the last two months, in which I've had the most free time I’ve enjoyed in a year, that I have written almost nothing about my time. Well I guess that’s life.

June was great, just being back with family always renews me with a new energy, I like this responsible and engaging side of myself! I love the comfort of my sisters and parents, and grandma too. I will say this: So far this summer we haven;t really visited Uncle/Aunty/Seun and I feel really guilty about that, that is something I need to change! Why has this happened? Coincidence? Yes but I have not made any moves to correct this.

Asaph practices were warm and great, I loved being around both new and old Asaph friends! Such a warmer crowd than my church family, I am sorry to say. I loved being apart of the singing group and the drama, which turned out awesome. It was nice being around some young Nigerian men for a change.

Asaph convention was great, twas a lot of work with name tags, and as usual my daddy over committed himself. Didn’t get to enjoy the actual event AT ALL, as expected from a chapter that is working so hard. The drama was amazing through, a lot of people laughed. GO MARYLAND CHAPTER EHHH.

The church dedication was great, it was a special typa joy, seeing the church filled with so many Asaph members like that. I have the highest hopes for the future, we cannot give up!

The post convention chill was amazing. I’ve loved the dozens of movie nights with my sister, and late convos with mama and grandma.So much cooking as well! I feel very useful. Wholly, I’ve loved my last full summer so far. Well lets not call it that. I have many new summers in front of me, don’t I? Just not ones where I have a stream of weeks to do “nothing”.

Here’s to the last couple of weeks!

Ancient of Days

as old as you are,

you never change,

we worship you!

Asaphs of Seraph Maryland Convention 2016 has finally come to a close! Whoa it has definitely been a kind of ride. I’ll write down more details later but yeah it was a lot of feelings, a lot of work, some doubt, many happy practices, some spiritual attack, some physical weariness and a lot of singing and acting.

However I have to spare the details for now, the church dedication is tomorrow and I need to get some sleep for real! Lord please take perfect control on the event, let it go smoothly and wonderfully:)

I can’t wait to have a chill July 4th yo.

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