Obituary For My GPA
Obituary for my GPA Grade Point Average of Pullman, Washington
You will be remembered as you were. Specifically, at the very beginning of the semester. And while it is always sad to mourn a passing, it is actually even sadder to mourn a failing. In our last few month’s together, I admit I wasn't always perfect. I would like to have been able to say that the only thing getting turnt on those Friday nights were the pages in my study guide. But everybody makes mistakes. And sometimes, it is important to realize when something maybe just never was meant to B. or even C. or even D+.
“Grade P. Average will be remembered for his ambition, as well as his encouragement for others; whether to study, do essays, or stress-eat a sickening amount of Doritos.”
Grade is survived by his good friends Long-Term Regret, Uncomfortable Meetings with the University, and Disappointed Looks from my Parents.
For those who personally knew Mr. Average, the shards of my shredded transcript will be ceremoniously cremated in a bottle of pure Burnett’s vodka and poured down my bathroom drain on Friday May 8th, if anyone would like to attend.