The Diary of XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 2019— @openprivatebook-blog - Tumblr Blog

Diary Entry #12, Saturday, March 16, 2019, 20:29

My co-workers sing along to the songs that play on the store intercom.

When I was in XXXXXXXXXXX, I was a member of XXXXX. I also had XXXXXXXXXXXXX. I liked to XXXX.

When I was in XXXXXXX, the activity continued. Unfortunately, my XXXXXXX issues got the better of me and I stopped.

Today, on the back to the house from work, I XXXX along to as many songs as I could. My voice is rough from disuse. And I don’t think I will ever be comfortable XXXXXXX in front of other people again, that’s okay.

I was happy today. That is enough.

Diary Entry #11, Wednesday, March 13, 2019, 16:22

How is it that phone calls from certain people in the same categorical relationship to you can make you feel so vastly different?

When I or my XXXXXX call each other, there is silence, to be sure. I never have anything to say, and there’s only so much they can say before their well of information runs dry. But the silence is comfortable. There’s no judgment on either side.

And then when I or my XXXXXX call each other the silence is not the same. I am left scrambling for something to say. They are left with too long stretches and searing, if unspoken judgement.

I just want something more than this. There’s got to be something more than this.

Sincerely,

—XXXXXXXX

10 posts!

#10 posts #tumblr milestone

Diary Entry #10: Monday, March 4, 2019, 20:52

In grade school, our playground was a flat slab of asphalt that the teachers released the children on at a certain time of day to release their energy. At one edge of slab, opposite from the school building, was a chain-link fence, overgrown with foliage.

In spring, the fence’s plants would bloom. One of the bushes was honeysuckle. Those of us smart enough to know would use our recess time to pick the honeysuckle and drink their nectar, littering the asphalt with flowers crushed by our gluttonous steps.

I thought I caught that honeysuckle scent as I walked down the suburban street to my car after work, earlier.

I also saw a house that had a replica T-Rex skeleton in the front yard.

Neat.

Sincerely,

—XXXXXXXX

Diary Entry #9: Sunday, March 3, 2019, 15:32

I know of Father’s family through the XXXXXXX women who raised him. His mother, his great aunt, his grandmother, and all of those women in the tribe in XXXXXXXXXX, XX.

My brother’s trip to XXXXXXX has made me remember the obvious fact that his father is XXXXX. I am XXXXX.

I know nothing about that part of his family. My family. I don’t know if I will ever learn about it.

Sincerely,

—XXXXXXXX

Diary Entry #8: Sunday, March 3, 2019, 13:17

Dear XXXXX,

I keep seeing people that look like you.

Every now and then I do a double-take because my brain registers a stranger as you, as a friend. I quickly remind myself that they’re not you. That you’re back XXXX.

We haven’t talked in a while. I hope you don’t think poorly of me. But I was the only one talking on our group chat, the one with you, XXXXXX, and I. You and XXXXXX, meanwhile, seemed to be having a grand old time by yourselves.

There are many things I would like to say. But I can’t. But I won’t.

Sincerely,

—XXXXXXXX

Diary Entry #7: Wednesday, February 20, 2019, 19:00

I really should have brought a book or something to occupy myself before class. I am not in the correct headspace to be left to my own devices tonight.

We talked about it at XXXXXXX today. Dr. XXXXXXXX gave me a few more coping mechanisms to manage my XXXXXXX and XXXXXXXXXX, but there’s only so far they can go in so little time.

I am also slightly disappointed in myself. I have given a part of my brain the name Karen. I thought I was done naming parts of myself. I thought I grew out of it.

I guess not.

At least Karen is kinder than X. But only slightly.

Sincerely,

—XXXXXXXX

Diary Entry #6: Wednesday, February 20, 2019, 15:26

Today is XXXX’S birthday. I’m glad he liked the gift I sent him.

—XXXXXXXX

Diary Entry #5: Sunday, February 17, 2019, 10:45

XXXX Zero is just Diet XXXX marketed to men.

You cannot change my mind.

Sincerely,

—XXXXXXXX

Diary Entry #4: Friday, February 15, 2019, 21:24

The XXXXXXXX has automatic doors. Sometimes they open, but no one comes in.

It would seem that we have a number of otherworldly, unseen XXXXXXXX.

I greet them anyway. There is no harm in being polite.

Sincerely,

—XXXXXXXX

#journal #diary #ghosts #fae

Diary Entry #3: Thursday, February 14, 2019, 20:01

It is Valentine’s Day and the people of our nation are mourning the passing of XXXXXXXXXXX, XXXX’S XXXXX that spent the last fifteen years exploring the surface of XXXX. The journey was only supposed to last ninety days. It is good to see the nation give of our hearts so freely that we feel for a XXXXX stranded on a world so unlike our own.

The disappointment comes, however, when we realize our nation can give their heart to a XXXXX, but cannot give a person a job with benefits and a parking lot. It is always one or the other. Unless it is this time, as at this job, I have neither.

The rain only expounded on the problem. By the time I arrived at the XXXXXXXX the XXXX of my XXXXXX were soaked. I am lucky I had my rain boots. This city is clearly not built for this weather. There are not enough storm drains to the sewers.

But I can be happy tomorrow. All of the left over chocolate goes on sale.

I shall feast.

Sincerely,

—XXXXXXXX

#rain #opportunity #chocolate #work #valentine’s day #14Feb2019 #journal #diary

Diary Entry #2: Wednesday, February 13, 2019, 23:31

It took me longer than usual to get back from my XXXXXXX class at XXXX than usual.

These roads are not made for driving in the rain.

Neither, I suppose, are the windshield wipers on my dead Aunt’s Prius.

Sincerely,

—XXXXXXXX

#journal #diary #Prius #13Feb2019 #rain

Diary Entry #1: Wednesday, February 13, 2019, 18:39

Hello.

Can you hear me?

My name is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

I recently moved from the XXXXX Coast to the XXXX Coast in the United States.

I am 2X years old.

I am alone.

I am pleased to make you acquaintance.

We will talk again, soon.

Sincerely,

—XXXXXXXX

#journal #diary #13Feb2019 #first post

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