hell to the liars.

disclaimer !there aren’t too many surprises on the ‘who’s the worst agent’ scoreboard to be frank. rafe and rhys keep alternating for the #1 spot, obviously. rafe will lead for the foreseeable future because he’s absolutely terrible at stealth, unless rhys messes up another lock or somehow gets shot AGAIN. ciro’s position is mostly a function of gabriel’s position. catching even the slightest glimpse of the true snake inside tentatively means gabriel moves up to #3, shirtless scene means he goes down to #4. of course in the event one of them does something SO INCREDIBLE that they line up with callie’s score on the ‘all agents’ scoreboard, the bad agent in question moves to the #0 spot and odessa and nikolai make a wild card entry.

[operativegossip]

agents you think would make good couples?

that’s so kind of you to ask me, as if i have any understanding of the strange dynamics between the members of this secret agent, cody banks’ wet dream, all-star spy team that these arrogant assholes are on. but these are my suggestions, so hopefully the lot of them won’t come into my inbox upset because what i said is actually 100% true. i think MERCURY and PHOENIX need to stop lying to themselves about this friendship thing and just say ‘ i do ’ already. aren’t y’all tired of pretending like you’re just friends ? also, i think CYGNUS and CARNELIAN are meant to be, but that may just be my take on things. who else makes him smile that much, and who else could get her to come out of her shell ? i think we’re sleeping on them, honestly. and another couple i would love to see is SCORPIUS and CRIMSON … how hot would that shit be ? as for AURUM, HAWTHORN, HYALUS, and OPHIDIAN … if you guys stopped acting like virgins and gave off some big dick energy, i would be more than willing to pair you up with each other, but those aren’t the vibes i’m getting, soz babes. cheers !

[operativegossip]

agents as pta moms?

aurum - the mom that thinks she’s in charge, that always raises her hands with some type of suggestion, but always gets looked over in favor of those moms who have more seniority. ophidian - the mom that ditches the meeting five minutes early to smoke a bowl in their car before they have to go home and cook dinner for the kiddos.scorpius - the milf, the mom who everyone definitely envies, because her body is so impressive that everyone thinks the rumor of her having a surrogate must be true. crimson - the mom who thinks every single thing their kid does is absolutely noteworthy, and who will passionately argue with anyone who believe otherwise – including teachers who don’t give their kid an a, or give their kid playing time ( even though in youth sports playing time is allotted per person, rafael ! )cygnus - the bree van de kamp of the group – perfect home, perfect hair, perfect everything – whether it be delicious lemon bars or muffins baked to absolute perfection, rhysand would definitely be the mother that shows up on time to every meeting, who enforces rules, who thinks she’s the president, but definitely is only second in the running. phoenix - the mom who is always volunteering, piling too much on her plate and assuming that she will have the time to finish everything she agrees to, which leads to her always showing up late and causing interruptions.mercury - the athletic mom that is always volunteering to host the school’s 5k runs, and suggestion all types of fundraising ideas that may or may not pander to the greater good of their community in a very robin hood-esque way.carnelian - the mom that everyone thinks is fake because she’s too nice, too genuine, and others are untrusting of her kind nature this late in life – rumors constantly circling while this mom is the human embodiment of the angel emoji.hyalus - the mom who tells everyone the shortcuts that will make browsing on their phone that much easier, has a perpetual headache from the amount of times she rolls her eyes every meeting.hawthorn - the parent who is always concerned about the safety of any and all situations that involve the children; playground regulations and safety protocols her favorite thing to discuss.nox - the mother that refuses to participate in the pta for any reason besides obligation, always standing up for her kid’s interest but otherwise being too busy on her phone playing candy crush to give a damn about what the other moms have to say. 

[operativegossip]

it’s been a while, operatives, but during our brief absence, there has been more than enough drama to keep you all entertained. not that i know all of the juicy details, but don’t be quick to assume i’m completely clueless either. i’ve been seeing connections bloom, relationships struggle, and friendships on the brink of more -- if there’s anything you would like to report, come to the inbox -- and if not, send a rumor, anyway. don’t like a fellow team member ? heard someone’s bad in bed ? send them as well. i’m ready to have a chat. 

[operativegossip]

What type of person would you like to see agent Carnelian end up with?

i would like to see agent carnelian end up with a good, protective and all-around dependable person. so, someone like agent cygnus, who is responsible, reliable and a stand-up human being. of course, agents cygnus and carnelian are childhood friends and their dynamic is not at all like that. not to mention, agent cygnus is holding a candle for another special iee lady. i just mean someone like him. i’ll get back to you once any other person on the team shows an iota of agent cygnus’s dependability. 

[operativegossip]

how long until one of the team members bite the bullet and wail on the rest of their teammates?

i feel like MERCURY wails on one of his teammates once a fucking week honestly. first, he’s mad at agent crimson. next, he’s mad at agent cygnus. next thing you know, he’s mad at agents phantom and hawthorn. who’s next? all i can say is, i’ll be tuning out of this episode of the fists of the furious and catching up on some sweet hawthorn and phoenix dialogue. 

[operativegossip]

callie and gabriel would be cute together

cute is an understatement. i don’t support anything that distracts the agents from their work, however, their chemistry is undeniable.

[fieryfootedsteeds]

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[stereoclamato]

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“Our Deal” from Crazy For You, 2010

[levifying-blog]

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[ielzin]

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[deep-dreamin]

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[operativegossip]

spill a secret about any of the agents ...

“WELL. i’m not sure how much of a “secret” this is, but agent crimson has a girlfriend. this i am absolutely sure about. perhaps without the LABEL, however, he has a regular, exclusive agent he is seeing. he thinks he’s so slick, skipping classes, disappearing in the short breaks i give you, coming back with lovebites and SEX-HAIR that screams ‘i just got jiggy with it’ in the storage room. oh, if the walls could WEEP, i swear to god.” she sighed, before adding, “my best bet is that it is either with agents scorpius or hawthorn, but i could be mistaken. honestly rather disappointed a top agent like agent CYGNUS hasn’t sussed this one out already.” / ft. @bclivar; @hawthvrn; @vngelina; @attwoods

[operativegossip]

who are your favorites? top 2 ioa and top 2 iee? explanations would be dope too :p

“oh, my my, i would HAVE to say that i’m positively swooning for agents SCORPIUS and HAWTHORN from the IOA. have you seen those pretty eyes ? that incredible skin ? who says i need a reason other than that, huh ? but if we’re alright with getting a little NSFE in here, this is my real reason: i think i could have an absolutely wild night with little miss scorpius and wake up to sweet, sweet hawthorn tenderly taking care of me the next morning. can you say ideal ? anyways. from IEE, i’ll have to go with PHANTOM and MERCURY. have you seen phantom ? tall man… big feet… you know what they say ! and as for mercury, well. i could drown in those blue eyes any day – and nimble fingers don’t count for nothing. maybe he’s a little young for me, but who cares ? he has such a sweet face. 

ferox said some bullshit about ‘feeling lukewarm about all of them’, but lucky for you guys, i sweet talked her into giving me a real answer. that’s the power of duchess charm, baby. but i digress: she’s a fan of CYGNUS and CARNELIAN from IEE as well as CRIMSON and HYALUS from IOA. i actually remembered to take notes, since y’all know how distracted i get around a pretty lady. 

let’s see: something about cygnus for being capable, self sufficient and putting the mission first ( put me first, cygnus ), carnelian because she’s a good student and hard working despite having areas she lacks in like combat ( live a little, you’re too pretty to work this hard ! ), crimson for being a strong and capable agent who defies all odds when it comes to his lacklustre intellectual abilities ( he can defy my odds ), and hyalus for being the most intelligent agent who always manages to exceed agency expectations – plus, she isn’t distracted by trivial childish matters ( no wonder i can’t get her to crack ).” // ft. @vngelina, @hawthvrn, @phvntcm, @merrcury, @attwoods, @mvtildas, @bclivar & @hyclus.

[operativegossip]

i think everyone should be nicer to gabriel. his friend died, of course he’s going to be a duck about it.

i guess you should go and tell “everyone” that, then. people DIE, agent. it’s kind of an occupational hazard. if agent phantom is so wounded, he may request a leave from the next mission so that he may grieve properly. i don’t believe shitty things happening to you excuses shitty behaviour. it just means you have decided to sink beneath yourself instead of rising above it. food for thought, kids! / @phvntcm

[operativegossip]

you know who /i/ think are really cute? ciro and noemi. they may just be bffs but they're also basically married.

i believe agents mercury and phoenix are, in fact, dating and keeping it, as people say, “LOW-KEY”. nothing else can explain the strange and affectionate dynamic between the two. i have to tell them to stop kissing and hugging more than everyone else. it’s genuinely DISGUSTING. i hope they both floss. // ft. @merrcury; @haphczard

[operativegossip]

spotted: june putting gabriel in his place in the library like the icon she is!!!!!

agent hyalus is TRULY an icon and one of my best agents. i don’t know the exact details of the library altercation, but based on my faith in hyalus’s abilities, i have no doubt she was in the right. / ft. @hyclus

[operativegossip]

#GiveLotteAGF2k18 though let's be real

i don’t support anything that causes one of my agents to be distracted, however, love is love. i always support my w-l-w. are their any girls you think nox works with in particular or is it a free-for-all type of deal. i PERSONALLY believe she and carnelian would make a wholesome good girl/bad girl pair. / ft. @mvtildas; @ncxisms