There's a knot in my chest the size of a cherry pit that I haven't been able to swallow since you left. I feel like I'm alright but then night falls and reality sinks in. The truth becomes obvious. How I was nothing and you were everything. I still hold onto the tiniest bit of hope that maybe you you think of me too, somedays atleast. Even a fleeting thought of what could've been. It's pathetic, but like I always say, feelings cannot be controlled. It takes me back to when I was a kid, I wanted to help a dying rat and my friend told me love was going to be the thing to kill me. She was right. I would hold onto it until both my arms were ripped from my chest. I bite my own lips and swallow pools of blood hoping that love wouldn't always be so thick. I still take scalding hot showers even in the middle of june just to fill the warmth that I lack. I consume myself in work so that I have no space left to think. Drown myself in music cause I know it's the only thing that'll never leave me. Now my mouth tastes like metal and you're not even here to ask if I'm okay.
