oh shit.

this isnt the end

[shacklesburst]

you, a doctor: *handing me my new born baby* I’m sorry but your wife didn’t make it

me, an intellectual: *handing baby back to him* bring me the one my wife made

[babyboomerbullshit]

well I sure hope so?

[karalora]

A couple things here…

1. How do you suppose the 1960 conservatives would react to the idea of a President who has close ties to the leader of Russia? What would they say about the fact that so many of his followers are literal Nazis?

2. If AOC appeared to be a lunatic to 1960 Americans, it would be because the principle thing she advocates for–the 70% marginal tax rate–was policy at that time. So she’d be running around going “Marginal tax rates should be 70%!” and everyone would go “…yes? They are? Shouldn’t you, a sitting member of Congress, know that?”

[freifraufischer]

The marginal tax rate in 1962 was 87% percent.

[solitarelee]

I am eternally exhausted by conservatives not knowing basic american history. And when you teach it to them, does anything change? No, they just pretend they never heard you and keep saying the exact same thing.;;; How does anyone live like that?

[bisexualgambit]

Reasons Artic Monkeys is bad:

They have the same bass line in every song

Reasons Artic Monkeys is good:

It’s one sexy fucking bass line so I don’t blame them

[drugget]

before tumblr i spent the same amount of time on the computer but i seriously cannot recall what i did 

[socialist-whore]

Dress up games

[shelbytaylorexists]

JUST 👏 BECAUSE 👏 A 👏 WOMAN 👏 IS 👏 COMFORTABLE 👏ENOUGH 👏 IN 👏 HER 👏 OWN 👏 SKIN 👏 TO 👏 WEAR 👏 REVEALING 👏 OUTFITS 👏 DOESN’T 👏 GIVE 👏 ANYONE 👏 THE 👏 RIGHT 👏 TO 👏 SEXUALLY 👏 HARASS 👏 HER 👏 PASS 👏 IT 👏 ON 👏

[antikataplhktika]

LOUDER

[xrotteninsidex]

EVEN LOUDER

[curseworm]

human brain: sometimes we need to do boring things with no gratification or immediate benefit

monkey brain: absolutely not. die

[lemonsharks]

Human brain: ok what if we eat chips while we do the boring thing

monkey brain: I’m suspicious but keep talking

[valtsv]

not to be r*mantic on main but i deserve to be able to climb onto the roof of an abandoned building and stargaze with someone i love at least once in my life

[zagreus]

if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te

*eeoo

[doctress]

Okay th*n. *f you’r* sure about th*s. 

Old Macd*nald had a farm.  

*eieio

[zagreus]

i’m going to shatter you like glass

[c3po]

*stuffs my pussy with oatmeal* breakfast is ready

[rcktpwr]

*hogs squealing*

[c3po]

maybe this is why they’re deleting tumblr

[thecommonchick]

I don’t want a sugar daddy but maybe like a sugar buddy. 

I just hit him up like “Hey how are you today?” 

and he replies “Doing great thanks for asking here’s $7,000.” 

[inactiveblog123]

Like Michael Buble and Santa

[divascreech]

I just wanna s*** some d***

[sawsbvck]

HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL

[bitchycode]

[hellokittydirtblock]

Brendon Urie / Panic! At The Disco || feb 25, 2016 || photos by me (twitter: theemibee)

[astraldemise]

a stray cat showed up in my garden earlier and i named him todd howard as a joke but now i have to live with this because my stepfather just said “todd howard didnt eat the cat food i left out for him”

[astraldemise]

this is him

[hymnofvalefor]

op are there any updates on todd?

[astraldemise]

yes ! todd lives with us now and hes incredibly friendly and affectionate, here he is taking a nap on my bed

he also has a tendency to steal food, he slapped a slice of bread out of my hands and ran away to eat it recently

[adhdalistair]

#let me guess somebody stole your sweetroll (via kalverian)

[shesnake]

keira knightley playing “raindrops are falling on my head” on her TEETH

[handsomedogs]

A snowy boy ❄️💙🐾

[memewhore]

[xenoliith]

FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES