my-deception-and-perfection:
âOh, Iâm not coming for your benefit,â Mary assured Blade. âIâm coming for Tristanâs benefit. Babies donât do well around arguing and tension. Iâll be there to help. And Iâm expecting to do your part and behave yourself, too.â
It had been so long since there had been a baby in the family, and Mary had started to have those urges again when she was with Willie. If it hadnât been such a cluster she mightâve suggested they try. Now her brother had managed to spawn in this particular stream, sheâd take advantage of the opportunity to get lost in the fun of a new baby without all the baggage that came with it.
The early days were the worst, she knew from experience. Her Dad had been a godsend when Beez was tiny and squawking all the time. At the time, she saw more of her Dad than she had of Brandon, who was basically gone after her daughter was two weeks old so theyâd not had the time to really figure out where they stood.
For Deejâs sake, she hoped heâd have a better time of it. Mary had cried, screamed into her pillow, and bared her soul to her Dad. Brandon never knew what she went through. Only her Dad had seen her brought that low by self-doubt and the challenges of being a new parent. Even if she wasnât Bladeâs biggest fan, Mary would be as supportive as possible. The last thing she wanted was to see her nephew go through the same crap as Willie had.
âHaving a baby changes your life. It does change your focus, your trajectory, but itâs for the better. The key is to find a balance between your âmeâ time, your couple time, and your baby time,â Mary assured her. âAnd thatâs why Iâm going to be around. To make sure you two can get enough sleep until Tristan gets settled in and on a schedule, and that you donât lose sight of your relationship in a healthy way while youâre getting used to having a little boob muncher added to the equation.â
Chuckling at the memory of the egg baby, Mary had faith in her brotherâs abilities. Heâd about driven Mom nuts when she got pregnant with John, and really stepped up to help out when he was a baby. It was only fair that someone helped him the same way, and Mom was so busy all the time. With Beez enjoying time with her Grandpa Dick, Mary would be free to help fill that gap.
âHe didnât tell you that he tried to rewire it first, did he? He crossed the wrong wires and it got stuck in a crying loop rather than a giggle loop.â Shaking her head, she added, âI love my brother, but he did better with a real baby than an electronic facsimile.â
âOf course you arenât,â Blade shook her head. âGod forbid, right?â but it wasnât acidic as things typically were with her. Blade regarded Mary in a way that old friends did.
Although it didnât seem obvious to her, the more Mary spoke, the less tense Blade became. Her hands stopped dancing, and her jaw unclenched slowly but surely. Thinking about the birth had her holding tension in places she hadnât even realized.  âIâŚreally appreciate that, Mary. Thank you.â the relief trumped the suspicion right now. âIâm scared heâs going to pull the macho crap after Tristan is born when I really need him to be open and supportive. Do you think that will happen?â
âBoob muncher. What a sentimental way to refer to it. No, weâre getting him on formula ASAP.â she shook her head. âI donât want to get saggy.â but even if she did, she could get surgery for that like her mother. Breast lifts were easy, and she wouldnât use silicone if she could help it.
âNo, he didnât! He just told me it starved to death under a pile of clothes in his closet. Now the story really unravels.â she chuckled. âIâm glad to hear he did a fine job with Beez and John. Of course, heâs read What To Expect cover to cover a few times now. He should be an expert by time Tristan gets here.âÂ
Shrugging as they pulled into a parking stall in the hospital parking lot, she said, âI donât know what heâs going to do. He was always a little pain in the ass to me when he was little, tattling to Mom every time I broke one of her rules. Macho stuff? Donât tell me, the blue in his blood has started making him act like an asshole?â
From her mother sheâd heard all about the argument over the babyâs name. Sheâd teased Deej about it, and even though theyâd settled on Tristan, he said that he still thought the name he wanted would be cool. Even if it sounded like a leprechaunâs name - an opinion he clearly wasnât overly fond of.
âThey munch boobs. And thatâs a good thing. Best weight loss you can have after giving birth? Breastfeeding. The hungry little peanut will suck the baby fat right out of you. And turn it into mounds and mounds of poop. Something tells me thatâs going to annoy you a lot more than a bit of boob sag. Those things arenât going to stay up there forever.â Mary, in her thirties, still had perky breasts, but hers were tiny little bee stings next to those her brotherâs girl had. She was quickly coming to the conclusion that the men in her family were into boobs.
But he does mean well, for all his faults, Mary had to concede if only silently to herself. âHeâs probably got it memorized. God help you, Blade, heâs going to drive you up a wall before itâs over. But in a good way. At least heâs around.â