Peony, reader and writer

18+ only please, my AO3

[orange-peony]

This blog does not support JKR's transphobic views.

I am pro LGBTQ+, and this is a safe space for minorities of any kind.

Please do not follow me if you are a minor.

[tobiasdrake]

Can you imagine being Gandalf? Getting shit from other wizards because you have a thing for hobbits and you're just like, okay. Okay, maybe I'll temper my fascination with hobbits.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

This was a four hobbits problem.

[elodieunderglass]

A wizard neither underestimates nor overestimates the number of hobbits needed for an equation. He, er, always has precisely as many as he needs to.

[yakichoufd]

some doodles from instagram stories

[jyae23]

LMAO

[quelmdn]

(a snack for long haired!laurent truthers)

[byjove]

2025 boyfriend: I have been DMing instagram models and purchasing their OnlyFans content with money from our shared bank account. Also, I am a high value redpilled male and you should work your ass off for crumbs of my affection.

Iron Age boyfriend: help girl they’re cutting my nipples off with a ceremonial knife and throwing my bound corpse into a bog

[byjove]

2025 boyfriend: Despite cheating on you and leeching off you for 6 months, I am going to have a screaming crying breakdown when you try to leave me and piss myself and get so very angry when you call my mom to come get me.

Iron Age boyfriend: the crops would not grow, they are saying I have displeased the gods, this is the only way to save the people, my blood will sate this land I have dishonored. also I have 6 parasites and 3 serious infectious diseases so I was going to go soon anyway I think.

[byjove]

I’d like to issue a public apology for not making it clear I have never had a boyfriend from the Iron Age and this post is a hypothetical creative work about the stark differences in quality of life and dating culture in 2025 and 2 thousand years ago in Iron Age Ireland. I am so sorry for not clarifying that and potentially spreading misinformation about the 6’6" Irish dreamboat that must have been the Old Croghan Man.

[myzornaccount]

Now I know you're lying. There's no way an Irish could be 6'6"

[byjove]

Rude. Also, the crazy height estimate on Old Croghan Man isn’t so bizarre within the context of other Iron Age Irish bog mummies. Cashel Man and Gallagh Man were also very tall for prehistoric humans. Not sure what was going on in Ireland but there were a lot of tall 20 something guys being thrown in bogs ritualistically for several thousand years.

[candydandyorsomething]

there’s no tall irish men anymore because they were all taken by The Bog

[byjove]

Hozier is 6'6" because he crawled out of the bog after being placed in there in the late Iron Age.

[elodieunderglass]

(They let him keep his nipples.)

[swampthingy]

[actuallyapathy]

[the-lumpfish-queen]

I love environmental storytelling

[belphegor1982]

[hotlegsharker]

[berlynn-wohl]

[harleyklawz]

Its fucking hieroglyphs with you people

[necronomipod]

Can't just leave this in the comments

[saintd0nna]

happy pride to him

[trollrider1111]

Gay broke sober king 🤴

[schinkennudel]

Don't mind me I just made the MOST ADORABLE snowbaz charm

[loveuncured]

the witch and the silverwood tree ⋆˙⟡

[catbishonen]

you all know the scene

[lotldraws]

hey don't worry? completely unrelated giant dump of heartwarming PHM doodles ok??

once again these are all from like the same two canvas files in procreate judging from the same color background. also straight up had a dream where grace and rocky figured out how to make gnocchi out of taumoeba hence the making gnocchi over a bunsen burner

[recurring-polynya]

me (crazy eyes, covered in blood): I NEED to finish writing my fanfic. so I can start writing a different fanfic.

[windwenn]

listen it won’t play out this way but I like to imagine that qifrey thinks it would

[sopuu]

very quick stress relief doodles (and a sort of sequel to this :] )

[sopuu]

but the weather app said it wouldn’t rain…?!

[snailygoon]

Happy pride month from me and the deranged state Witch Hat Atelier has left me in 🌿