Alexander Pratt

Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/realalexpratt

[jenmccurds-blog]

self-love

Hi! If any of you follow me on instagram (@jennettemccurdy, proud plug) you’ll know that I’ve been on quite the self-love kick lately. It’s true. I don’t hate myself, as crazy as that sounds.

And that’s just the thing of it…. why does it seem crazy or hokey to express self-love? Why do we sometimes view it as false or put-on? Well, I think because we aren’t loving ourselves. Any time in the past when I’ve snickered or laughed off someone’s seemingly grandiose view of themselves (it’s happened more than a few times), it is only because I myself felt small. 

Nowadays, I really do sense more positivity and uplifting messages in the world, but yet there is still this wide net popular idea of glorified self-depracation, used to make the deprecator seem cool/self-aware/in touch/humble. I’ve come to believe that this just isn’t true. Putting yourself down or acting like you’re not that great is just not that great. You are depriving yourself of the love you most deserve - your own.

In the past, I have been quick to brush off a compliment or attribute a success to some chance luck. I could easily poke fun at myself or apologize for no real reason. I was the mistress of self-deprecation. Even many of my tweets and vines came from a place of a lighthearted discontent with myself. Sometimes I feared losing that self-disrespect because honestly, I felt I would lose my sense of humor, and that is something I really appreciate in myself. (In case you didn’t know, I am hilarious.)

Well I’m here to assure you, whatever you may be worried about losing if you ditch your self-deprecation, whether it be humor, kindness, humility, friendliness, etc. YOU WILL NOT. You could never lose that beautiful part of yourself by losing the ugly part that is self-deprecation. In fact, whatever you’re worried about losing will shine that much brighter when you lose the self-effacing because it will have the room to grow and come from a more mature, seasoned place. Your kindness will be deeper, your humor will be richer, your friendliness will be purer, and you will absolutely feel a difference.

With time, perspective, and lots of looking inside, I am proud and happy with how much I’ve grown and who I’ve become. I enjoy my company, smile for no reason, and am able to accept love from others in a purer way because their love is simply additional to that which I feel for myself.

Now before I get too far ahead of myself, let me explain. I think that in NO WAY should bragging/conceit/arrogance be mistaken for self-love. That is the opposite. The only reason people feel a need to be over the top with any of those qualities is because they are deeply deprived of their own nurturing, or so I believe.

From my heart I just hope these words are encouraging to you. I hope you find them empowering and take a few minutes to think about how you behave and why you behave that way. Don’t do anything for the approval or acceptance of others. Accept yourself and watch your world shine. I ain’t kiddin’. LOVE YOURSELF <3

[orangeadawg]

I Love You

I love you and I want to make it obvious. Is that too much to ask of my stupid brain? Always making silly mistakes, pushing you away from me. I can't breathe without you in my life. I will drown back into the deep dark waters of depression and you'll still be on the coast, getting further and further out of my grasp.

[orangeadawg]

Story Where The Narrator Falls In Love With The Reader

the first time you crack my spine, you will be too young for me. lent and spent, dogeared, i will weather your sticky-fingered touch with the bad grace of library books everywhere, handled without care for years without end and plastic-coated, built to withstand the worst of humanity. you will throw me in your backpack and the next time i see the light of day will be at a double-header baseball game, patchwork men yelling peanuts in the distance and your brothers shouting for home. you will hide me in the folds of your oversized sweatshirt and callously drip mustard from your corn dog onto my twelfth page, and i will feel it smear and stick against my thirteenth and hate you, hate you, hate you. i will twist my language to obscurities that your youthful eyes will find obscene; i will press my letters together until you are forced to squint against the sinking sun; i will slice open the pad of your index finger once, twice, and nevermind the blood.

you will return me, abandon me, forget me. i will have known you would.

when you find me again, adulthood will not yet be yours, but you will be a far cry from childhood; you will tuck me carefully beneath your arm and walk me through the library doors yourself. when you crack my spine, you will let one bitten nail drag lightly down my pages, and your touch will be soft enough that i will forgive you the child you once were. you will be the first person in half a decade to take the time to unstick my twelfth and thirteenth pages, and when you see the caked, yellowed stain there you will laugh, wondering, as though you know it was you that left it. as though you remember me. i will open for you, this time, as i refused when we first met, showing you all that i can bear to this early—you are young yet, untrusted, and i will not reveal to you nuances scholars have missed. still, it will be enough, and you will keep me hidden under your duvet until well into the night, a flashlight caught between your cheek and shoulder so you can see every inch of me, even in darkness.

lent and spent a thousand times over, and no reader will ever have seen me as you shall.

you will never return me to the library, and i will never wish you had. instead, you will box me up amongst a hodgepodge of other volumes, thin novels filled with classroom notations, thick biographies you procured ambitiously and will never get around to reading. you will shelve me carefully and reach for me often, flipping my pages at speeds exhilarating in their danger, and take me with you when you travel. my plastic coating will wither and crack until finally it falls away, and with that barrier gone i will meet the best of humanity from the safety of your spread palms. when, one evening, you pull me off the shelf and call me brilliant, quote from my passages with your honey voice rounding out my vowels, i will shiver a new crack down my weathered spine, risk my binding to open for you entire.

i will love you for your wide eyes, soft hands, the truths only you will glean from me, and oh, you will never know.

for years i will be yours and only yours, never lent, never spent, shelved close and held closer. a lover will leave you and i will give you comfort; an illness will slow you and i will give you strength; a late night will find you sleepless and you will come to me, come back to me, and i will tell you your favorite story. you will drip salt-sharp tears that bleed my ink and grip me hard enough to bend my covers and sometimes you will smile at me, fond and familiar, so staggering i will barely keep from closing in surprise. i will reveal to you my every secret, keeping nothing to myself, and once or twice i will forget myself in my comfort with you, and you will cut yourself on the few sharp edges that will remain to me. your blood will again stain me and i will again nevermind it, because there is no one knows better than i that all stories must come to end.

i will ache to think that i will lose you, that every reading might be our last one.

someday, lover, you will age beyond your years and your eyes will fail you, and i will be gripped by unfamiliar hands and spread open by your bedside, read to you by a raw new voice. i will know what is coming and be generous with the stranger whose fingers leave stinging antiseptic lingering within me with every turn of page. i will remember your sticky childhood, your honey voice, your salt-sharp tears, your soft safe palms, and will do all i can to bleed myself into this borrowed tongue. i will comfort you, give you strength, offer one last chance at this story that has bound us both, but you will leave me, leave me, leave me, as i always knew you would.

and so you will become the story i tell myself until my spine in naught but dust until my pages fall to pulp.

[orangeadawg]

A Woman Had 100 Children

She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed.

Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

[orangeadawg]

The Kiss

You're not truly in love with someone until you have that simple little kiss that just happens, and it just keeps happening. Now simple doesn't mean a quick kiss. A quick kiss is the kind of kiss you guys give each other when you start dating. You don't want to make it awkward for the other person by having your lips on them. But that doesn't mean that it's a long kiss either. A long kiss is when you are passionately making out with someone during the middle stage of your relationship, beginning to learn each other. The true kiss, the one that shows you are in love, is the one where it's just right. You can just put your lips on them long enough to say "god I love you" but also short enough to say "let me know when you want more". And when you pull back and both smile at each other, that's when you're both in love.

[orangeadawg]

My First Kill

The thought was scary,

At first,

I thought I was,

Insane.

The first drop of blood,

touching my finger,

driving my mind,

in a haze.

At first my car,

was only speeding down the road,

but then you walked in front,

blocking my way,

surprising me,

making sure that i'd hit you.

I stopped and tried to move,

but you moved as I did,

and I hit you dead center,

only,

you weren't dead.

You were breathing,

you chest heaving.

I ran to your side,

with the blood gushing,

I reached for my phone,

but you screamed,

"End my life! End it now! I deserve nothing! Kill me with this knife, it has history of my family and war. Kill me with honor."

All I thought was,

What is this dude thinking,

He has honor of jumping in front of my car,

And being hit?

And now he's telling me to just stab him?

Making sure that he dies with "honor"?

I walked inside of my car.

Good. I thought,

It's still intact.

I started it up,

and looking at the guy in the road,

I had tears in my eyes,

What was I doing?

Do I want to do this?

Am I really meant for this?

Then I thought,

He told me to do this.

*       *              *

I headed straight towards him.

The guy's face before I hit him,

was priceless.

He now has no honor.

*         *        *

I'm glad I met that guy.

He helped me figure out,

a new thing about my life.

I'm good at killing.

And now I read the papers,

After all i'm always on the front page.

[angelclark]

Historic Black and White Pictures Restored in Color

Women Delivering Ice, 1918

Times Square, 1947

Portrait Used to Design the Penny. President Lincoln Meets General McClellan – Antietam, Maryland ca September 1862

Marilyn Monroe, 1957

Newspaper boy Ned Parfett sells copies of the evening paper bearing news of Titanic’s sinking the night before. (April 16, 1912)

Easter Eggs for Hitler, c 1944-1945 

Sergeant George Camblair practicing with a gas mask in a smokescreen – Fort Belvoir, Virginia, 1942

Helen Keller meeting Charlie Chaplin in 1919

Painting WWII Propaganda Posters, Port Washington, New York – 8 July 1942

Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge ca 1935

[foolishly-high]

This is awesome.

[reeferkitten]

Not something I’d typically reblog but I like.

[sushinfood]

This is bloody fantastic.

[unsteadygalaxy]

Honestly seeing old photos in color makes the past so much more tangible.

[orangeadawg]

I MADE A GROUP CHAT OF EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK WITH THE SAME NAME AS ME AND NAMED IT "CLONING TEST GROUP" 😂😭😂😭😂

[orangeadawg]

Untitled

You don’t know what it feels like So STOP your fake pretending A life is much more difficult Through the eyes of the depressing You seem so amused, you spoiled little princess The world is so different, when you have a sickness It’s waking up every day angry you’re still alive Its taking those pills, thinking you’ll be revived. You know that pencil sharpener you had in second grade? People like me have found the sharpness of the blade. My thoughts are like a flood When I see that line of blood You think I’m crazy? Yeah, so do I But your words are a trigger And although you are bitter Have a heart, because you don’t have the voices Screaming at you to make those choices “I’m fine” “I’m ok” My translation, I want to die. Because most days consist of sadness And I just want to end this madness. You don’t know what it feels like So STOP your fake pretending You need to be aware For it could be a scare When I’m gone Due to Your words

[orangeadawg]

Shoes

Shoes. There are many types, 

yet I fail to see why they’re worth all the hype.

Some show your heels, some show your toes

but I’ve got one question for you.

WHAT ARE THOSE

[orangeadawg]

The Suicide Note

To whom it may concern

Don’t be shocked what you are about to learn

In any case, this is a suicide note

The last thing on this earth I wrote

Just listen, I don’t need you to reply

As I briefly narrate, why I had to die

Life was hard, what else can I say

I never had, not one happy day

It was my birthday last month but one

At seventeen, with this life I am done

What’s so special about breathing?

What’s the big deal about your heart beating?

Why should it beat if it can’t beat your troubles?

Why keep breathing the dust as your world crumbles?

It is not easy being alive, and its more difficult dying

But whatever more life is offering, I am not buying

Like most, I dint find love and was escaped by wealth

So i got depressed, and with that came my poor health

Enough millionaires have passed me by in flashy cars

Enough women have engraved my heart with deep scars

Knowing i will never be a rich man no a lover

Under the blanket of merciful death I take cover

Death can’t be so bad; it’s just being permanently sedated

Detaching all your feelings, from a world full of hatred

The government charged its tax, and the landlord his rent

Toiling under tyranny was how my youth was spent

The church came rebuking my sins and offering me hope

But i couldn't hold on to the hope, so now i hold the rope

Make no mistake; I have nothing against the Lord

It’s just that the cost of living is higher than I can afford

I would rather turn into a corpse and be still in death

Than be a loitering tramp in the street with breath

It’s better to be deep in the ground rotting and unaware

Than a multitude of heartbreaks and sorrows to bear

I know so little about living, and about dying even less

Yet I know it’s the only way to escape this mess

I hope father and mother find it in their hearts to forgive me

If I could rewind back time, I would tell them not to conceive me

But I want to thank them for they tried to give me the best

It’s just unfortunate my wings broke as soon as I left their nest

I have been falling down ever since and am about to hit the ground

I have always been a loner and this is a sure way to avoid the crowd

Whoever discovers this note can have the little possessions I had

The only thing to be found of interest is my broken ipad

Please if it’s not too much to ask, don’t bother with the coffin

I hate the idea of people surrounding my dead body sobbing

Put me on one of those fire chambers, let me burn to smoke

I want no remembrance of me, for my life was a joke

[orangeadawg]

The standard US keyboard has three rows The letters U and I are close together I love you is three words U and I are close together HAHA JUST KIDDING A TRIANGLE HAS THREE SIDES AND ILLUMINATI CONTAINS U AND I SO ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

[orangeadawg]

Life Is Like A Video Game

Life is a lot like a video game

Everyone enjoys it when the going is easy

But when it gets tough, we “shut off” our minds

And avoid the problem altogether

In life, there are really no cheat codes

There are no second lives

And there is no pause button

No matter what, we are still constantly moving

As much as some of us would like to stop

Or just skip ahead to the next level

There are also people who get too into the game

They get enthralled in winning and getting done with it

Whereas the other people who play slowly

Get to enjoy the game and the connection to the game

Sometimes when we are stuck on a level

We have to get help from others

Because even though we may be completely lost

They have a view from the outside that can help us

Life is a lot like a video game

When you get to the end of the game

Some are happy, and some are mad

But that feeling only comes from how we play the game

[orangeadawg]

Food for Thoughts

So I've been pondering what to write about on this blog lately, and a conversation with an old friend today sparked my mind. We live in a world full of hatred, anger, misery, depression, and judging. I'm sick of it, but I can't change it. So instead I'm going to write this, and hopefully if you read it then it makes an impact. A lot has changed for me in the past two months. Just yesterday I went to a drama club audition and left without trying, because I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do. I've had a more positive attitude about things and how I feel about people and things in my life. You don't know it all. Hell, even I don't know it all, as much as I wish I did. I'm never going to know it all though, and that's the problem with life is that we aren't ever going to know it all. So with that thinking, I came up with a new philosophy on life for myself and have followed through with it for two months. Think of this as a magic pill or Jenny Craig, but for life. My philosophy is simply this. I'm doing things differently to where if I know something is going to make me happy, I do it. Whenever I've found someone I enjoy, I keep them close in my life. Doing things that make you happy will never make everyone else around you happy, but I honestly think this is what would help screw up our messed up world. We need to stop judging each other when in reality we should be worrying about ourselves. I think the key to being happy in life is finding anything that makes you happy. For me, that's doing the things that are going to make me feel better about myself. That includes being with my amazing girlfriend, making new friends and being open to people, and especially being more open with joking and wanting to do comedy. I always was worried because comedy is such a "dream" career and everyone tells you to pick something else but I'm not going to because I want to do what I want to do. The main goal to take away from this is to find something you like, to stop judging others so harshly about things that make them happy, and for once just please help make this world a better place.

[orangeadawg]

Friendships

Friendships are weird. I know people use the term friend-zoned, but really you have to start most relationships like a little friendship. The hard part is making the transition. I dated this girl back in middle school, who I was friends with for pretty much a year. And we were worried because of how good of friends we were, but after hearing this story, you'll be surprised. She was the first serious girlfriend I had back then, and probably the only person that told me her problems and stuff. Then, about a month into our relationship, she called it off because someone started some rumor that we were cousins. We still talked though, and now we're both Juniors in high school. She would tell me all her problems, and I was always there for her. I was her shoulder to cry on, and our friendship grew even more. Last year, we dated again, because we felt the feelings again. And it was going really well, I mean considering we know each other so well. Then, we quit dating. Mainly because of just drama and other problems going on, but also because it just wasn't meant to work out that way for us. But you know what? We're still friends, we make fun of each other all the time, I would be there for her if she ever needed me, and we've just given each other a lot of support over the years. The moral of this story is, if you have a friendship with someone you really like, tell them before it gets pretty far into the relationship. If you do date, it'd be great if it works. But you might end up like I did. Mainly though the real truth to this story is that even though the relationship didn't work out, we're just so close people. And that's what would happen when you meet someone who's too perfect for you. Who is your perfect match. You won't ever find your perfect match, and if you do, you'll more than likely become amazing friends with them instead. You don't need to find your perfect match. As long as they can love you and you love them back and you know you want them in your life, that's what matters.

[orangeadawg]

A Note To You

We all walk this earth with one purpose. To love. Whether that's loving ourself, loving others, loving one person more than anyone else, loving God, or loving life. We love the feeling that love gives us. It gives us joy and happiness. It gives us something to live for. If there was no love, everyone would be depressed all the time. No one would strive to meet that special someone. We're all blessed with this gift to love someone. If you find the right person, it's a good idea not to screw it up. At first, you'll have a few people you'll think are the right person, but then you'll know when you have the real right person. When you can't stop thinking about them or describe your feelings towards them because they make you feel amazing. When they make your brain stop working because you're overtaken by their presence. I hate the fact that people say love is only in fairy tales. That's never true. You will find someone or something to love. So here's what I'm challenging you to do. Go out this week, and love. Whether that be helping out a friend that really needs your help, telling your partner how much you are so blessed to have them, or just looking at this week with a happy perspective. Love is what keeps us all going, and love will always keep us going. Love's got me going for you, and I'm going to make the right choice here.

[orangeadawg]

Life is Amazing

I love the word "life". Just saying it gets your mind going, doesn't it? You start to ponder those questions no one ever knows the answer to but you just have to ask them. I love life. Lots of people hate life out there, and I'm sorry. I love you all, and I'm sorry for what you are going through. As for me, my parents are sort of separated but not divorced. Some may not think that's hard, but some may also think it's hard. To be honest, I don't let it bother me. What I've done lately is if something bothers me with that sort of situation, I push it to the back of my brain and keep going. And this is why I love life. Because I found a way to keep myself from feeling pain. But in reality, is that what we truly want? Sometimes pain NEEDS to be felt. I'm not meaning causing yourself pain physically. I mean it needs to be felt truly in your heart sometimes. Sure, it may be hard but that's how it's supposed to be. It's all going to work out somehow in the end, even when times are getting darker and darker. Imagine, if you will, being trapped in a dark room. The surrounding darkness is all the burdens in your life. All you want to do is get out of this dark room (and let's be honest, we all kinda hate dark places). So, we force ourselves to start moving. It may be hard. We may hear things that are scary or run into walls a few times. But as we keep walking, our legs get stronger. We know we will find the way. We've mapped this in our brain a hundred times. And finally, we find it. Our happy ending. I know times may be hard right now, but I know also that you have the strength to get through it. You have the power to do something amazing today. So do it. Love you all.