is it thursday yet? @unsteadygalaxy - Tumblr Blog

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it’s the wildest thing to realize how much a place can incubate you, how much the people around you can hold you back, both asking you to be a smaller version of yourself for convenience or fun or requirement. i’ve spent too long here, walking the same streets, driving the same roads, playing out the same days and scenarios and stories. maybe keeping myself here was my version of punishment, or suppression, or fear. maybe I needed to remake memories, and let things go, and let myself be loved again in a place where I wasn’t. maybe some people here needed to show me what friendship wasn’t, so I could recognize what it was. lies spread through willing ears, twists of truth dealt out like playing cards. avoidance skulking through back alleys and sticking to red brick walls. maybe one day I’ll know what it feels like to have more friends close by who do really want the village. 39 days till we’re gone for good.

#vent #this is so weird #I cried in a Walmart an hour away yesterday because I finally remembered how big the world actually is outside these county borders #I had forgotten

deconstructing mormonism has become a never ending cycle of “why do I feel this way” followed by “oh fuck it was the religious OCD”

because I’ve been slowly deconstructing for 8 years and what the fuck do you mean I’ve JUST NOW clocked that giving up fun and nice things for the promise of maturity and success is a scrupulosity thing

#deconstruction diaries #vent #i’ve spent my whole life giving up fun things and nice things either for my siblings or because “oh your sacrifice will be blessed #FUUUUUCK THAT

nicolillies

Sybil Delling ⚒️🦇

Fanart of The Knight And The Moth by Rachel Gillig

This is my fav book I’ve read so far. I love gothic fantasy. The atmosphere in this book is incredible and the characters are so lovable. I need to draw Rory next 🪙⚔️

#absolutely gorgeous #the knight and the moth #sybil delling #nicolillies

rosiethorns88

Dropping the latest Sketch-a-Wish, voted on by my lovely Patreon members for July, featuring Sybil, Rory and the gargoyle from THE KNIGHT AND THE MOTH by Rachel Gillig!

This one is a symbolic interpretation of one of the scenes in the book where Sybil divines for Rory. The gargoyle dragging Sybil down, yet clinging to her desperately because he wishes to escape with her. Rory is gently pulling them both up, away from their old ties to the church, yet not forcing it. This art has been officially licensed and prints are available in both shops. (link in bio!)

#fucking gorgeous #rachel gillig #sybil delling #roderick myndacious #the knight and the moth

it’s interesting how my brain has gotten to the point where it thinks that sharing any detail about how I’m really doing with anyone = a massive, egregious overshare. how did the words “i’m really struggling right now” become so hard to say? is it because the internet has become a place where approaching the nebulous “line” with your pinky toe has become synonymous with a complete evisceration? is it because i’ve been surrounded by 19 and 20 and 21 year olds with a complete inability to communicate for the last four years? is it a combination of both?

the definition of oversharing has become so superfluous and esoteric. i should be able to tell people i’m not okay without bracing my body for their judgment. i should be able to say i’m really struggling without worrying i won’t be heard. i should be able to ask for help without prostrating myself in shame.

and most of all, i should be able to honor the cycle of my feelings. let myself be depressed when she comes to visit like an old friend. dance with joy, rather than sit on the bleachers and dread the song ending. hold shame in my arms and tell her his abuse was never her fault.

so here’s my overshare. i’m finally, FINALLY moving out of the county where i met my abusive ex husband for the first time. and i can FINALLY leave this place behind me, once and for all. i won’t have to pass the house where he held me down in our bed anymore. i won’t pass the country road turn off to his parents house anymore. i won’t pass any of the places he made me feel empty and devoid of life anymore. I will *finally* be able to breathe.

and i’m leaving this suspended liminal space that has held me back for a decade. I’m slipping out from under the weight of every expectation that’s been placed upon me. because I don’t have to be everything all at once that everyone has ever wanted me to be. i don’t have to magically burst forward and take the world by storm. i want to be the quiet summer rain that falls in the evening, where the sunbeams break through, just for a moment. i want to be the flowers that bloom late in the season, adding beauty to the garden that’s already there. i want to do the next right thing, not the Big Thing My Whole Life Has Been Pointing Me Towards.

because really, why would i need to be anything different?

#my writing #vent #i just don’t give a fuck about being perfect anymore #i’m going to fuck up and do messy things #on purpose though

it is a very wild feeling to realize your brain has been preventing you from admitting you’re having a Hard Time

and then you peel back the layers and your insides are just

#vent #howl is very relatable #it is so frustrating to be doing everything you physically can but you just have to wait

5/6/26 100 Words a Day

Green leaves fall past his eyes in gentle wisps. Columns of sunlight reach through the trees, illuminating the grove with a golden glow. A small brook babbles off to the right. And in the middle of it all, a young woman with purple hair kneels amidst the poppies.

The sword at his side resonates with energy, and he unsheathes it in a slow, fluid motion. Now free, it hums louder, amplifying the frequency of its vibration till the sound makes his ears sting. With a grimace, he advances, till the point of his sword rests squarely between the woman’s shoulder blades.

#my writing #unsteadygalaxy #100 words a day #mellisaea

5/5/26 100 Words a Day

A woman with flowing lavender hair as long as the universe raises her staff and slams it to the stones below. The sharp clack of wood meeting stone reverberates through the hall, and an aura of palest blue energy ripples outwards from her. The bones in the crypt stir, rattling against their coffins of wood and marble. A wan smile stretches across the woman’s face. Soon, she could rest. Soon, she would take their place.

Soon, she too would fade into the Aether.

And that thought is the only thing that brings her comfort.

#my writing #unsteadygalaxy #100 words a day #just throwing this out into the void #just need to prove that I was here #mellisaea

miata-detector

Hey,

I got hired from fivrr to make a post on this account.

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to reply to any tags or reblog some specific post. She gave me no instructions other than "poast good pleaze im so freaking tiredd," whatever that means. Reblog this one a lot so she'll tip me i guess. I should go back to driving Lyft, this is humiliating.

Thanks.

did anyone else have a hard time getting into exu prime at first bc man I wish I liked it more

#exu prime

no bc the concept of fjord being terrified to really let anyone in is fascinating, bc everyone he’s ever loved has either died, left, or gone missing

so of course it makes sense for him to really hesitate fully committing to jester

just mighty nein reunited thoughts

#on the one hand makes sense #on the other hand GET YOUR WIFE #the mighty nein #critical role #the mighty nein reunited