blarg

no.

[pettydavis]

they need to start making clothes out of material that can clean glasses well again

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[maxxie-or-smth]

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

[woodwool]

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

[persianmom-deactivated20260602]

hate that I was understanding when I should’ve just been a cunt

[loveridden1999]

[csilla-nocturne]

Silly AU idea:

Xie Lian is never banished, (Maybe Jun Wu isn't even heavenly emperor?) Hong-er still becomes Hua Cheng.

Other gods are are getting incredibly jealous that Xie Lian has his absolutely devoted, super powerful believer who is always helping him out. They come up with a plan to capture Hua Cheng using Xie Lian as bait.

Xie Lian, after waking up bound thinking he'd just been invited to nice little lunch get together, finding out what they are planing: I don't think this is going to work the way you think it will.

Feng Xin, and Mu Qing when they show up to intervene: This isn't going to work, and you are all fucking idiots. (They know it isn't going to work because they they already tried this once.)

While everyone else is too busy arguing to notice Hua Cheng slips in easily bypasses whatever traps they set up, and leaves with Xie Lian. Well Pei Ming noticed, but he was just there cause he was bored, and all he does is give Hua Cheng a thumbs up, or whatever the ancient Chinese equivalent is while they leave.

[csilla-nocturne]

AU where after his second banishment, every time Xie Lian is injured bad enough to be near death, or dying a hallucination of Wu Ming appears to comfort him. Xie Lian learns very quickly not to touch this Wu Ming, because he vanishes if touched.

One day Xie Lian is attacked by a strange creature that has paralyzing venom, and is able to break off and eat Xie Lian's curse shackles gravely injuring Xie Lian in the process. He is comforted by Wu Ming being there even knowing he really might not survive this time. Only not long after another Wu Ming appears. This one looks different, but he's undeniably Wu Ming, kills the creature and while being clearly distressed immediately begins tending to Xie Lian, touching him, and making Xie Lian realize this new Wu Ming is definitely real.

"New Wu Ming" abandons the creature's body, which leads to someone from the heavens finding it, and after the heavenly court investigates they find the ingested curse shackles, and come to the conclusion Xie Lian is dead.

Xie Lian completely unaware of any of this is the most happy he's been in centuries as he recovered under the care of Hua Cheng, and gets to learn all about what his Wu Ming has being doing while they were separated.

Cue absolute chaos when Xie Lian's third ascension happens.

[csilla-nocturne]

Another older AU idea:

AU where Xie Lian isn't banished after his second ascension, but spends most of his time wandering the mortal realm hoping to find Wu Ming while slowly becoming a god of the dead.

He is in fact away when Hua Cheng ascends and leaves, but he just happens to arrive as Hua Cheng finishes annihilating the 33 gods. At this time Xie Lian is still pretty much considered a laughing stock. Mu Qing, and Feng Xin both keep their distance out of guilt,(Jun Wu had a lovely talk with them.) but everyone thinks they also really look down on Xie Lian. So when Xie Lian challenges Hua Cheng himself and Hua Cheng accepts, the gods think they are about to be entertained by seeing XIe Lian get humiliated again.

However two things happen very quickly:

1. They figure out Hua Cheng was just playing with everyone before.

2. Everyone gets a reminder that Xie Lian is a damn martial god.

The fight goes on for 3 days. The heavens shake, buildings fall. Even Jun Wu can't get them to stop. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng look like they are having the time of their lives. As the third day is ending they finally stop, no one watching is quite sure exactly how victory between the two was decided, but Hua Cheng reverently takes a crystal ring on a chain and places it over Xie Lian's head, kneels pledging his eternal loyalty and devotion, and then collapses from exhaustion. When other martial gods start to approach Xie Lian raises his sword at them, and says in a clear, surprisingly cold voice "No one touch him. He is mine." Seeing he's made his point he sheathes his sword, and picks Hua Cheng up taking him to his palace, where promptly puts up a barrier keeping everyone else out. He suspected while they had been fighting that Hua Cheng was Wu Ming, and Hua Cheng's actions afterward confirmed it for him. He is absolutely not going to let his Wu Ming be taken from him again.

[redstonedust]

do most people actually have a thing in their brain that tells them to drink water before their mouth goes dry and they have a headache. is that real. i have been told that headache is not supposed to be the primary sign of being thirsty but that sounds fake to me.

[thatsnotweirdatall-deactivated2]

[pontmercii]

I'm rewatching BBC Merlin after 84 years and god, I actually forgot how much they just loved eachother. Like, it was not fun and games it was real. They Loved eachother. For real. From the very beginning. It was visceral and deep and violent and as easy as breathing for them. There's something about you Merlin, I can't quite put my finger on it. He may be an idiot but he's a brave one. Is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself? The half cannot truly hate what makes it whole. I want you to swear to me that what you're telling me is true - I believe you. You can trust me. If I don't get the antidote, what happens to him? I can save him. Please Father. He saved my life. I can't stand by and watch him die. You can't stop me. Leave them Arthur, go, save yourself. Follow the light. Just make sure the antidote gets to him, I'm begging you. Someone knew I was in trouble and sent a light to guide the way. Arthur, thank you. I'm going to be sick actually what the fuck.

[pontmercii]

"That connection wasn't gradual it was instinctual" you nailedddddd it 👏👏👏 it was there from the very first moment and it just works and it's beautiful and it's tragic and it's

[misidentifying-animals-in-posts]

best animal names: unnecessarily judgemental edition

[tridentariussy]

“All the MXTX tops want to be bottoms” “they’re all switches” y’all are wrong, and more importantly y’all are BORING

Lan Wangji is a stone top, Xie Lian and Shen Qingqiu are pillow princesses (Xie Lian in a body worship way, Shen Qingqiu in a starfishing way. I’m not elaborating), Wei Wuxian is submissive and breedable, Hua Cheng is a service top, and Luo Binghe has a power bottom in his heart yearning to break free. No I don’t take constructive criticism.

[consumeroflemoans]

Shen Yuan atticwifing Shen Jiu because ‘the scum villain can’t hurt anyone if he’s in his house all the time’ and he’s sure he can run the peak in his stead, they look similar after all

Shen Jiu ends up being cared for by someone that insists he can do all the work for him while he sits back and does his own research without having to deal with the disciples he hates. Shen Yuan expects Shen Jiu to despise him for taking his position while Shen Jiu has never been freer

[beyondknowingbeyondthestars]

Au where Shen Yuan transmigrates as Liu Qingge's older brother and goes to the sect first, he gets plopped on the beast peak. He is Liu Yuan and he's just as pretty as the rest of the Liu family. He ends up the head disciple, and I think he wears a weimao because otherwise he gets stared at a lot (he doesn't realize he's gorgeous and everyone wants him)

Enter Shen Jiu stage left. Liu Yuan doesn't immediately recognize him as the scum villain he'll become, but he does recognize some of the same things he sees in a scared and traumatized animal and he descends on a percieved poor meow meow (someone put this man down before Shen Jiu does)

Anyway, enter Liu Qinnge stage right, finding out his brother's been hanging out with Shen Qingqiu (at this point he has a reputation it probably took Liu Yuan a while to get this close)

And so he storms to find them, having a nice conversation and walk (its mostly Liu Yuan talking, Shen Qingqiu just isn't forcing him to leave this time) and scowls.

"Da-ge, what are you doing spending so much time with Shen Qingqiu!? Don't you know what sort of a man he is?" All mad, and Shen Qingqiu thinks "Well this is it, goodbye to the one person that still looks at me like I'm a human." and also "Wait a minute, Yuan-Shidi is Liu Yuan the head disciple?" because Liu Yuan knew Shen Qingqiu would hate his didi he insisted on being known as Yuan by Shen Qingqiu.

But then instead of turning on Shen Qingqiu, Liu Yuan visciously scolds his brother for interupting, being rude, and he even grabs his didi by the ear and tugs while he scolds like "Wait until I tell a-Niang how unruly her son is being, picking fights so wrecklessly!" And this devolves into a fight, and goodbye weimao that got shredded in the tussel

So now Shen Qingqiu has a pretty shidi, and a festering crush

Liu Yuan is, as usual, none the wiser

Shen Qingqiu is infuriated by his obliviousness and swears that the Liu line must somehow be cursed, but he still calls Liu Yuan familiarly (Yuan-Shidi and maybe even Yuan or A-Yuan to watch the man grow flustered)