this probably isn't relatable but i just wanna vent about being an Asian indigenous person. (really long post)
i feel really weird about complaining about racism because i'm not native american or black. i feel like i can't join poc groups because even if they don't say it, it's obvious they're exclusive towards bipoc (these groups ARE important and i'm not hating on them for excluding me, i just wish there WAS a place i could go to). my white friends always made racist jokes towards me because they felt significantly more comfortable being racist to me than they did a black person (and obviously NOT telling racist jokes wasn't an option/heavy sarcasm). and i never felt like i could complain, because racism hasn't impacted me nearly as much as it has my bipoc friends. also i was ALWAYS the only poc those white people ever hung out with, i didn't feel comfortable speaking up about the racism when no one would have my back
and again coming back to white people, whenever i DID complain about racism, it was never that serious because i'm asian, and in their words, i'm "more similar to white people than black" therefore i'm privileged and can't experience racism. but like, i'm neither black or white. i'm asian, i've never fit into those categories and i'm never gonna, my life experiences in relation to my race and ethnicity will never look the same as a black, white, or native american person's. in this specific example, my WHITE friends were mods in a discord server where a person made a character that was my ethnicity (which was exciting! i've NEVER seen another oc of my ethnicity that wasn't my own) but they only ever referred to the oc as a slur/derogatory term. when i told my friends about this, they completely ignored my complaints and after the server fell apart for other reasons, i brought it up again only to be met with "oh well. that sucks" (by one of them. the others continued to ignore this)
i just wish there were more people like me. not even just of my ethnicity bc i know there's only like 300k of us across the entire country. i just wish i knew more southeast asian people. i wish that the poc speaker at my college orientation didn't have to tell me "hey this is the biggest place you've ever lived in, and there's gonna be a lot of rich white people and they're gonna mistreat you and you'll just have to learn to deal with it." no that's not word for word what she said, but i know that's what she meant.
i'm also really sick of people not knowing what my ethnicity is and assuming i'm of the same ethnicity as the people who oppressed my ancestors and pushed my family, my parents, out of their home country. it's fine to have never heard of it, it's not fine to disregard what i'm telling you. my ethnicity is something else entirely and i don't want to simplify it for anyone just because they can't understand that. like, just because we used to live in the same place doesn't make us the same and i shouldn't have to give you a whole damn history lesson to explain why we are ethnically different.
also i literally can't even search questions about my own fuckin ethnicity without people on the internet insulting my people. the shit i'm reading while writing this post is baffling and just. NO ONE gets upset about how they talk about my people because no one cares.
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