also absolutely hate when people say "this is set a million years from now and there's still racism and homophobia? #problematic" and then you read it and it's a scathing and concise yet meticulous examination of our current views on race and gender and sexuality. you don't understand what the point of science fiction is. escapism is not the pinnacle of the written form that all genre fiction should aspire to. you're annoying me
the fantastical setting allows for the writer to make our current day issues larger than life and therefore more easily examined and deconstructed. in genre fiction fantasy is often used as a microscope and through it we can try to better understand what's gone so wrong with us in the modern day, we can try to point to the cancer in the cells. it's natural to want to escape sometimes (i love a good romcom for example) but you do need to confront a mirror every once in a while. the solution to your pain is not to bury your head in squeecore. sorry i said squeecore
LOVE when a video game protag is called a title. The Warden, the Watcher, the ExileâŠ. Yessss be defined by a concept greater than yourself that will ultimately overtake your life
Everything that defines you: a name, a personality, your loves and cherished moments, your decisions good or ill, are all forgotten in favor of a single word, a concept that annihilate any shred of your humanity as time continues on. It is a horror. Sometimes it is even a mercy
I will gladly accept both snacks and commiseration, Iâm mostly just mad that, having tentatively solved one major timeline issue, I have discovered that itâs probably barely a blip, all told.
#okay so #according to the steward Maerwald rolled up somewhere between 20-40 years ago #he's described as a young man and even taking everything else into consideration the dude we fight? not a young man #this is supported by the fact that Caed Nua is known as a trading hub and Maerwald himself is an Institution #he's been around long enough that people who've never met him know he's a good dude or at least willing to help with things like Eder's shit #that's not something that happens overnight #I personally favor closer to 40 years than 20 for various mostly arbitrary reasons but I'll get into that late #on the other hand: we're told over and over and over again that Caed Nua was abandoned for a century #it's the driving force behind the whole thing with Gathbin for one #...even though that makes no fucking sense unless there's some nepotism involved on the erl's side #anyways we're also told that Caed Nua's been shut up long enough for... all of that to happen #and yet Maerwald still has food and is actually pretty well looked after all told #The neatest solution is the household's been holding it together the best they can #and the fact the keep appears empty is more because everybody's hiding from the latest fuckery from downstairs #and the fact that most everybody with any authority (the chamberlain the chatelaine not the steward only because she can't move) #is sitting in Brackenbury attempting to get help #which also explains how things get back to normal so quickly #the staff's around they're just hiding #this still leaves the problem of Gathbin etc #and I just don't know enough about Dyrwodan politics to like... even make guesses at fucking county lines save me
Makes perfect sense to me, honestly. Thereâs a lot of fuckery from downstairs to hide from.
#and I'm sure the dragon is making said fuckery significantly worse #because she seems to be happiest when Caed Nua is a ruin
She is absolutely happiest when Caed Nua is a ruin, though why is probably equal parts âIâm trapped in your basement and Iâm about to make that everybody elseâs problemâ and âmy prime directive is to Keep People the Fuck Outâ, and she can presumably vaguely tap into the House as an entity (given her suspiciously good timing on when to cause fuckery) so Maerwald hiding in the... upstairs basement was probably great incentive to start causing problems.
#I have strong feelings about Caed Nua as an entity if you hadn't noticed #and I think there's a lot of really interesting metatext re: the steward as an architect #considering she somehow managed to link the house she built into the adra framework of the endless paths #I made a joke a while back about places old enough to have personality adoring the watcher #with the uh caveat? that Caed Nua loves the watcher best #the endless paths are absolutely included in that #like you manage in five minutes what literal decades of actual trained explorers and archaeologists fail to do #but the further you go down the more that adoration changes from 'here is my person I'm going to keep them safe' #to 'here is my person I'm going to keep them safe right here forever and I'll never let them leave again' #...there is probably an argument to be made that the watcher *is* Od Nua's son #I forget if we learn his proper name and I'm not looking it up at the moment I'm tired of fighting with the wiki #but unfortunately the timeline isn't firm enough for me to say if everything that went down with him happened concurrently with Thaos #or if it was a series of events
Maros Nua. And you know, I like that headcanon. Wiki says Od Nua predates the business with Iovara by 3-6 centuries, probably too long to overlap even if the Nuas were elves (and the rounded ears on the statue make me think they werenât), but we are working with a setting where reincarnation is a documented fact, so...(Also thereâs no indication that Maros Nua accomplished anything besides existing (and then not existing), whereas the Inquisitor was definitely a person who Did Stuff, so I think I like it better if theyâre two separate incarnations.)
...AU where shenanigans occur and itâs Maros Nua whoâs Awakened instead of the Inquisitor. And heâs still an insecure little bastard out to prove himself.
Oh, hey, you know I have to chime in with this because I live and breathe narrative foils: considering that Eothas spends a significant amount of time inhabiting Maros Nua's likeness, and both games are very aggressive about positioning the Watcher and Eothas as foils / inhabiting some mirrored narrative functions, and just in general juxtapositioning them at every available opportunity, I'd say 'Maros Nua as a past life of the Watcher' is very thematically sound.
Okay I hope you don't mind me chiming in I wanna ramble about a few things here:
1. According to the Deadfire ttrpg guide humans/folk are considered to be "young adults" up until the age of 32 (if I recall things right, I'm lazy to dig it up). If Maerwald was 30-32 when he arrived at Caed Nua and then stayed there for the next 40 years, that leaves enough time for him to make a name for himself before he went nuts and to be old as balls when the Watcher finds him.
2. The Adra Dragon wants people out of Caed Nua bc she's scared that they would attract the attention of dragon hunters.
3. Caed Nua can support the population of a small village (if you ask Berath how many people died at Caed Nua when Eothas rose she'll give a number in the hundreds). Maerwald wanted to repopulate it after he rebuilt Caed Nua but he went nuts before he could finish construction. So I guess a handful of people staying there could still be negligible enough for Caed Nua to be considered as "abandoned" (...or maybe not, idk I'm trying to make sense of things).
4. Okay so the Yenwood used to be an erldom of its own but when the Gathbins were exiled it became a thaynu and was slapped onto the Grasp. The thing with the ownership of Caed Nua is messy tho bc the place canonically picks its owners (and marks them with a teleporting magic sword). So I guess the Gathbins were exiled, the thayn of Yenwood moved somewhere else in the Yenwood and the duc just... didn't appoint a new Roadwarden (reminder that Caed Nua is so cursed that not even the Glanfathans wanted it).
5. Gathbin is... not very popular and he's kind of a weasel... And idk I always read the whole confilct as him trying to snatch a kinda secure, kinda restored Caed Nua instead of taking the keep and securing/rebuilding it himself (remember how he got pissy over having to pay the Watcher the expenses they invested into Caed Nua...? ...yeah). Also apparently not even the rest of the family likes him so maybe he just wanted to prove himself/get his own piece of land and title the easy way. Then he not only failed but he also gave the Watcher the chance to show the erl they're worthy to be the thayn of Yenwood in addition to the Roadwarden of Caed Nua.
6. In Seeker, Slayer, Survivor Aexica says that Od Nua's fuckery in part inspired the god-making project. Something along the line that the Engwithans realized they needed Jesus when they saw the shit Od Nua pulled. So the idea of Maros becoming an Inquisitor then the Watcher is really goddamn ironic.
St. Waidwen's Day is a holiday celebrating the life and death of Waidwen and, by extension, Eothas
only celebrated in Readceras (for obvious reasons) and in Dawnstar/fringe Eothasian sects/cults all over Eora
typically celebrated from sunrise to sunset on the day of Waidwen's death, or from sunset to sunrise on the final day of the year/the first day of the new year (depending on sect). the rise and fall of the sun are extremely important symbols for the holiday, no matter which order they're celebrated in
typically an all-day/all-night affair, with festivities designed to play out or hearken to the few known events from Waidwen's life: starting off with singing Eothasian hymns while performing the daily chores in tribute to his humble beginnings as a farmer, praying and lighting candles for his sacred union with Eothas, a staged lashing of a chosen devout for the Miracle of the Verdant Vorlas, a torchlight parade for his march into the Dyrwood, and finally a ludicrous amount of fireworks for his death from the Godhammer bomb
typical dining fare includes p much anything made from wheat (it's the only time of year the Morning Council permits consumption of beer), fish (as Waidwen was known to fish with his father), and special "sun cookies"â basically thumbprint cookies shaped like the sun and adorned with a healthy dollop of apricot jam or marmalade in the center
About the Miracle of Verdant Vorlas question in the tags: I have done substantial research some time ago for fic purposes and you are correct. There is a miracle specifically about blooming Vorlas. It involves Saint Waidwen getting shoved in the dirt and then making the field bloom thus proving his point. For some reason the guide still refers to the flogging as the Miracle of Verdant Vorlas. I have no idea why.
if eder becomes the mayor of dyrford, he makes it a village holiday for one last laugh - but of course he doesn't call it that outright. it becomes something like "dyrford independence day" to commemorate the ousting of the skaen cult nearby, whether or not the skaen cult was actually driven out on that day.
if you were to ask kana, he'd point out an overlap between st. waidwen's day and other religious festivals celebrating different deities, commemorating the new year. it's not unique, and that's a good thing! rejoice in shared experiences spanning different cultures, and all the things we can learn from each other!
at one point, maia worked very hard on a st. waidwen's day gift for xoti, only for xoti to bashfully tell her that she's never celebrated it. but she appreciates the effort, though! (unfortunately, gift giving is not a thing in all celebrations, just like celebrating st. waidwen's day is not a thing across all eothasians.)
there are sects in the deadfire archipelago and rauatai who go off the lunar calendar, so st. waidwen's day falls on a different calendar day every year.
In my most recent run through the first PoE game, I tested out the slave background for the first time. Itâs something I typically avoid because of how most games handle the experience. Should have known not to worry with Obsidian I guess. Thereâs apparently highly visible proof of the circumstances my character came from. The powerful figures in the game especially like to try to weaponize the slave background in one way or another. They see it and try to use it to prop up their own authority. It underscores their casual cruelty and elitism rather than indulging any player victim fantasy.
I was pleased to find that none of our companions* mentioned anything. At least as far as I could find. Perhaps thereâs a dialogue I missed somewhere, and Iâd be happy to see it if someone else can find it. The impression I got was that this was a graceful writing choice, a comment on the baseline quality of our companions. And importantly, Durance, who never shuts up or worries about offending, was just as respectful as the others here. It echoes his pride if youâre clever. His willingness to indulge a watcher who prods at all his wounds. His honesty at the end of the game where he faces the truth with heartbreaking bravery. So I probably shouldnât have been surprised. Durance is unpleasant, but he is also principled and basically honest.
And I really am interested to see if I missed anything and anyone has something to add. Part of why I havenât written about this series at length yet is⊠well every run is so distinctive in some way. I feel like Iâm about 2-3 runs from really putting all my thoughts together.
*Not counting Caliscaâs early exposition here for pretty obvious reasons. Sheâs here for exposition.
I also didnât do The White March this time which means I definitely could have missed reactivity there.
Tumblr pls don't nuke my already bad pic quality challenge,,,
Happy St. Waidwen's Day, @quenthel, and thanks to @secret-st-waidwen-exchange for hosting! I wanted to embroider a portrait of Paprika! I've never embroidered a portrait (or something this big!) before, and wow! It took a lot more work than I was ready for. This is what I've got for you - but don't worry, I'm still working, LOL. The idea was like. a portrait in 1850s/60s style, mostly with that low neckline so I can do some of her markings! I'm also going to do some beading, but that's a last step. I've got some really pretty ones that I think would match the bright colors of her outfits really well. And also! If you want me to send it to you after it's done we can def do that!
(Also thanks to @the-eyeless-watcher for helping me transfer my drawing to the fabric! You were indispensable, as per usual.)
@secret-st-waidwen-exchange gift for @avalost Siobahn is such an interesting Watcher, I hope I did her justice!
---
"Burgling now, are we?"
"Burgling would involve breaking in to commit a crime." Siobahn didn't flinch at Durance's unannounced presence over her shoulder. The odor of cinder and burning hair had been a giveaway regardless. The brooch she'd palmed slid effortlessly into her pocket. "It's a shop, we walked through the door. This, my friend, was straight theft," she drawled, extra sarcasm on the epithet. "An' if you or your smoky goddess take offense, maybe you need to take a long walk off what's left of the Evon Dewr bridge."
Durance grinned--which looked more a sneer on him--and easily kept her pace as they walked through the city. "Do ya? You do as you please, Watcher, I've no stake in your morals. Just interestin' to see ya do it when we've coin to spare."
Siobahn snorted and tugged her hood forward. "To spare? With the barbican repair?" In truth the coffers were fine, if a tad stretched, but it never hurt to line 'em a little better.
That made him laugh. "So it's in service of your keep you're thieving."
She forced a shrug, more casual than she felt. She didn't like anyone, let alone this ragged pox of a priest, knowing how attached she was getting. She didn't like the prickle of seen-ness creeping up her neck. "Also never hurts to keep m' skills sharp." she glanced back at the others. "For when I finish here and move on."
Durance gave a dark chuckle. "Finish? Yer soul's bound up in that wreck, like it or not."
Irritation fanned to life at his tone. "Like hel it is," Siobahn snapped. "Ain't gonna be bound to anything I don't want."
"Aye, and there's yer rub, Watcher," he grinned sardonically. "If y' want this."
Too exasperated to form a reply, Siobahn settled for scoffing and stalking ahead to end to conversation.
She could still feel his eyes on her back.
---
"...Watcher."
Siobahn pulled herself out of a reverie to grunt acknowledgement to the Steward. She didn't care for the faintly tolerant tone from that damn chair, but in the interest of getting it over with she could pay attention.
"The builders need to know what to work on next, my lady," the Steward said, "the warden's lodge, craft hall, or restoring Brighthollow."
"What do I need those for?" Siobahn crossed her arms. The barbicans were one things; she could see the value in keeping threats out.
"I would think Brighthollow is self-explanatory, giving you and your companions somewhere comfortable to rest while the keep is being renovated. The warden's lodge would be for keeping an eye on the surroundings. The warden would keep you apprised of threats, some of which might involve coin to dispatch. The craft hall would be a merchant, to bring coin and be a source of higher quality gear for you."
Siobahn chewed her lower lip. "Can we do more than one?" She wanted to get out of here, get Aloth and Pallegina off her back about making it habitable. The sooner the better.
The Steward was silent a moment, considering. "I... believe so. It will take a significant portion of your funds. What did you wish?"
"Brighthollow and the lodge. My gear's plenty good," Siobahn said. She didn't much care for the idea of a merchant setting up here, but having someone with a finger on threats--especially if she could profit off eliminating them--would be handy.
And it would be nice to sleep in a real bed while she was here.
"Very well," the Steward murmured. "I'll pass along the instructions. Thank you, Watcher."
"Mm," Siobahn grunted, and drifted upstairs to check if she'd missed any loot. They'd need all the coin they could get to make up for these repairs.
---
She leaned against the doorframe, watching Aloth peruse the shelves in the library. There wasn't much to peruse, as yet, but he was certainly being thorough about it.
"It's rather unnerving when you do that, you know," he commented, glancing briefly in her direction before returning to his examination. "Lurk and stare."
Siobahn chuckled. "Force of habit, yeah? Observation without gettin' spotted has been my livelihood longer'n I remember; can't shake that just cause I'm a bit more comfortable now."
Aloth looked at her again, this time turning to lean against the bookshelf with an amused gleam in his eye. "Are you saying I'm a mark for you, Siobahn?"
She rolled her eyes. "Not for thievin'. Might be curious what you think of this." She let her hand flop at the wrist to indicate the newly refurbished library.
"I appreciate it, of course." He folded his arms and cocked his head at her. "I do have to admit some surprise. You've been very... utilitarian in your approach to rebuilding the place. A library seems..." he paused a moment, "frivolous, if your feelings are still the same toward it."
Siobahn shrugged, fighting the urge to be defensive. They'd been traveling together long enough, and he'd been honest about something even bigger with her. "And if they aren't?"
Aloth smiled, right on the edge of smug. "I would express relief at not having to nag you into upkeep any longer."
Her eyes narrowed. "If you gloat, you're bunkin' with Hiravias tonight."
He raised his hands to show innocence. "I had no intention, Siobahn. I'm all too happy to avail myself of the library, such as it is, and glad you're feeling more... at home here."
"It'll get better," she grumbled.
"Pardon?" Aloth arched a brow.
"The library. We can make it better. Gods know we find enough books in our travels."
"And that you liberate them all from their present circumstances," he drawled.
"Hey, you never know what people have hidden between the pages," she retorted with a grin and careless shrug. "You should read the green one."
He frowned at her.
"The green book, over your left shoulder. I think it's about Arkemyr or Kalakoth or one of them high an' mighty wizard types." A smirk. "You might have somethin' in common."
Aloth rolled his eyes. "Very funny."
But he took the book when he left the room.
---
The soft tinkle of bells filled the air and Siobahn turned toward her company before the silent figure drifted to a stop at her side.
'You are happy to be returning.'
'I'm excited by the promise of sleepin' in a real bed,' Siobahn replied glibly. 'Sometimes I think Hiravias finds us uncomfortable places to camp on purpose, as revenge for crossing Glanfathan lands.' It's what she would do in his shoes.
Grieving Mother didn't comment on her theorizing. Instead she stood studying Siobahn, fingers twitching as if weaving or pulling threads. 'There was a saying in my village, that all roads lead to home. Have you found this so, Watcher?'
Home. The image of Caed Nua, instant and clear in her mind. Always before the word conjured thoughts of a dozen different city streets, other thieves, village hideaways, some a more acceptable answer than others but none feeling a proper fit.
This felt right. The fortress that had been hung around her neck was more crowning jewel than millstone now.
'I... I'd hafta say yes,' she finally answered Grieving Mother's query.
She didn't seem to mind the long pause. Her head dipped in satisfaction with an answer. 'I never traveled far from my village until I... left, so I never had a chance to test the truth of it. Thank you.'
Siobahn nodded silently, turning over the saying and Caed Nua in her mind. The road had led there to find Maerwald and kept returning along the hunt for Thaos. Despite her initial reluctance, she would call it home. It was hers, it was safe. she wouldn't be rousted from it because someone bigger or stronger staked a claim. She would very much agree the saying was true. And it felt damn good.
---
Everything was swimming and muggy and ached, her lungs tired as if she'd run flat out the whole way from Defiance Bay to Caed Nua.
Something sharp twinged in her chest.
Siobahn curled in at the pain, tried to straighten her thoughts, see through the hazy mists. Something was missing, the thought of Caed Nua bringing an ache rather than the comfort of home.
Some of the mist looked almost like kith, almost familiar.
A falling sensation jolted her upright with a sharp gasp. A muffled rhythm pounded her skull--waves? waves--and the disorientation had her clutching whatever she sat on, panting for breath and only faintly aware of someone coughing.
"I hate to cast a pall on your recovery, but I have bad news for you." The Steward's voice. Adding to her disorientation being somewhere not Caed Nua. A broken bust on a pedestal near the scratchy bunk where Siobahn sat. "Caed Nua has been destroyed."
Eothas had taken away the first and only place that felt like home. It didn't matter why. Or if he "meant to". There was no reason that justified it. Fuck whatever motives the gods had for wanting him stopped.
Happy new year @perenians ! I hope you like your @secret-st-waidwen-exchange gift! Ahria was very very fun to draw, and it was great learning all about her!
(If youâd like the original, please let me know, Iâll be happy to mail it to you!)
EDIT: I forgot to ping @secret-st-waidwen-exchange Iâm sorry ! !
Your requests were really interesting, at first I was gonna make you a fic but I just wasn't satisfied with the quality. I also used this as a chance to experiment with a few different techniques; I hope this is satisfactory!!
Happy St. Waiden's, and happy new year ! ! \ ^ o ^ /
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