psycho killer

“I have hated words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.” Call me Oswin and show me the stars! tracking duchessdiaries Selective multi-muse, multi-verse and multi-ship indie roleplayer. rules . roster

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I ALREADY LOST THE E-MAIL FOR MY OTHER ACCOUNT. MY LIFE IS SO HARD JESUS.

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[duchessdiaries]

it’s been a long time

I know. It is been a crazy ride for me and I came here to say hi, I miss this, but also ask y’all support for something. Might be ridiculous that I come here after so long and ask for a favor, but I will explain… Since I moved to India, there has been awesome things and low things, as any other time, but one thing for sure, I fell in love with some aspects of this amazing culture, especially their handcrafts, fashion, beauty things (there are bad aspects of the culture too, but definitely don’t want to focus on that). So I talked to my boyfriend, he is an Indian, and we begun The Indian Effect (find us here and here).

We aim to make Indian fashion accessible worldwide by selling items straight from India to you. It is all manufactured inside the country, by skilled Indian artisans, and the money will be reverted to the country (at the long run, we have other special plans). This e-commerce brand has been very important for me for numerous reasons that would take long to list.

So I ask you all that if you can help by checking us out and sharing with a friend that might be interested!

Thank you in advance. ♥

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a note to my partners

HELLO WORLD!

I know, I know, I’ve been slacking this blog. I honestly thought that this wasn’t going to happen, because I love writing so much, but lately my life has been a turmoil of ideas that have left me tired and uninspired to write (I’ve been getting ideas for other stuff). I want to give to you my best, therefore, I don’t want to just write anything. 

THAT BEING SAID, I don’t want to abandon this blog because I love my characters and I love the stories that I get to create with y’all, so I want to try to ease back in, especially talking about our characters and how we can move the stories forward, because I know sometimes it is hard to pick up from it was left months ago. I also understand if you guys don’t want to put up with it anymore.

Please, reach out to me, let’s be friends offline (some of my best friends are from group times) and let’s write amazing things together.

Thank you for all the understanding ♥

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requicms

             Silas didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to let go the life he built here, he didn’t want to let go his brothers and his sister, not his family – but he definitely did not want to let Thalia go. There was a voice in the back of his head that kept telling him to just lean in and kiss her. Just do it, because he might never get another chance. These might be the last minutes he ever got to spend with her – and if he ended up lying in the mud of a battlefield, blood pouring from his wounds, he would surely regret not kissing her at least once. But then again he thought kissing her now would just be selfish. He couldn’t create something here when there was no future for it. He couldn’t leave her behind just to never return. He couldn’t leave her waiting for him to never come back. 

               As she let go of him, he was pulled out of the darkness of his thoughts, and a crooked smirk appeared on her lips. Hopefully, there would still be enough of him to hug when he got back. And hopefully, he would be breathing and smiling and able to kiss her then. “They better be, or I’ll never forgive you for not writing enough letters.” He was quick to follow her through the water, strong arms bringing him up behind her within a few seconds, arms wrapping around her waist and lifting her out of the water – just to throw her back into it, laughter bubbling from his lips. Probaby the last laughter he’d let go of for a while, he thought to himself. He waited for her to break back through the surface before he added, “and if you think it’s a good idea to find yourself another best friend, I might have to accidentally throw him off a cliff.”

At that moment, although she was being bold, she just wasn’t bold enough. Thalia wanted more than anything to just lean in and kiss him (or, just like in her dreams, he would kiss her), she just couldn’t. It wasn’t the voice in her head telling her that might be her last chance, or the fact there was no one around. She just didn’t know how would that be perceived and it absolutely killed her.  All the years that passed by and she did nothing about would come back to haunt her once he was gone and she would just have the memory of their friendship ─ at least she would have the memories of their friendship. It would kill her if she didn’t have even that.

“Oh, you will be bored about the mundane life that I will write about...” She laughed, trying to swim away, but being caught up around his arms and being thrown up so quickly that she could only laugh, not truly react. When she surfaced again, she pulled her hair off her face to look at him. "I think your sister won’t like that a lot,” she laughed again. “I promised to spend some more time with her.” She told as if she was telling a secret. Thalia wanted to be around Tess when he was away, for both of their sake. “There is no one else but you, Si.”

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requicms

                  Thalia’s sudden outburst surprised Tessa – she was known to be the pessimist, so it wasn’t surprising to hear her say something like that. Looking over at the other with raised brows, she wondered if losing her friend bothered her as much as it bothered Tessa to lose her brother. Yes, she knew she shouldn’t think about it like that, seeing as he was still very much alive, but… he wasn’t here. And that was what mattered. She decided not to say anything to that but instead leaned down to drink her milkshake, able to empty half of it before tHalia spoke up again. Looking at the other, she shrugged her shoulders. “You know I’m not the right person to ask such a thing. I know nothing about what one can do to have fun. But I’m sure you have an idea. Or don’t you?”

Somewhere, deep inside, she knew that she didn’t have the right to be overly upset (at least not more than Tessa, but now that she knew he wasn’t there it was harder to keep the optimism than she thought. The milkshake was a distraction ─ a good one, but one nonetheless. When it was over, she wouldn’t have anything else in mind other than how he was feeling on that boat as she fidgeted on her clothes. The loose threads of her skirt had become more than a few in the past couple of hours and it was only the beginning. “Everything that I can think of seems... bland.” She admitted. She loved Tessa fully hearted, but her world was more fun with Silas in it. Hell, she was a much better person. Thalia sighed, shaking her head. “Maybe we can just take a walk... The town might be busier than the usual.”

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sierramused

                             “We can’t, but we can at least try,” Jason joked and let his brown hues glance down over the grip she had on his arm, finding the familiar sensation intoxicating. Something that he missed and while it had been awhile, he could remember it like it was yesterday. That little touch from her delicate hand on his forearm that sent chills up his spine and electrolytes on fire. “I tipped them off that I was at some high end charity event,” He joked. “Gave me at least a weekend until they figured out I wasn’t there.” 

"──we should never try it.” She laughed, because she had always been such a lightweight and now she felt like she floating instead of walking and the lights were brighter than usual. At least, this time around she was happy about it. Last time she was drunk it was just a puddle of sadness ─ around same time he left. She slid her hand mindlessly on his arm, stopping close to his hand, but distracted by the breeze. It felt like the old times, but they were years older and talking about something they never back then (unless Jason was daydreaming). “Oh, nice, because I don’t know anyone here would know how to deal with them. You might not have much longer though.”

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sierramused

                              She was completely new at this, and while she was the one in charge of taking the ropes and reigns, she had no idea what she was doing. They planned a baby yet hardly knew each other. Would it actually work? Would they even get along? Were they a couple? She didn’t know, but those burning questions would wait until Brooke could form the words to ask. The stress and frustration of it not working was enough to distract her for the time being. “You’ve got a point, even if those teen pregnancies have gone down in percentage this past year or two.” The brunette mused, a shake of her head soon to follow. It was then that Brooke sucked in a deep breath and took the courage to stand and slowly move over to the seated guy, slowly moving down to straddle in his lap. “I’m down to try it if you are.”

When he agreed to that crazy idea, he never imagined that they would encounter so many problems in the easiest part of the equation: conceiving. He had imagined issues with custody and not knowing what they were, or even if they were a thing at all. He could imagine problems to explain to his child in the future ─ what mom and dad were. But he couldn’t anticipate the anxiety and delay on the conceiving. He, however, was more relaxed than Brooke. One of them had to be. Sam couldn’t help but chuckle when she brought up a medical fact, even if it was completely accidental, or just somehow accidentally. "I guess they finally found out what a condom is...” He joked. “I feel like this is a tricky question in which” he watched as she straddled his lap, putting one hand on each side of her waist, “if I say I am I just want to have sex with you, but if I say I am not, I don’t want──” The corners of his lips turned into a smile and he hoped she knew he was just joking (they only knew each other so much). “Come here...” His voice was low and he intertwined his fingers on the hair of the back of her neck, pulling her closer.

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I had to buy a wifi receptor, but I have wifi again!

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Guess who’s trying to get back on track once more? 

THIS GIRL

I cleaned my following list (which is sad cause there were some lovely people who unfortunately never followed me) and I will reach out for new people and mutuals who I don’t write with (yet). Then replies, replies, replies. Let’s do this!

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too cool for school

               “No problem there.” Mary chuckled – for a model, she had an unhealthy obsession with bacon. She didn’t eat it often, but when she did, it was like heaven on earth for her.  There were so many days when she ate hardly nothing, and her diet mostly consisted of alcohol, so digging in like she was about to with Cora was like a second Christmas. “A girl after my own heart. At least I don’t have to be at a shoot tomorrow, so no one will notice.” She grinned. The truth was, she would probably spend the majority of the next day in bed nursing her awful hangover, and not working off the calories she was eating today. Then again, she probably also wouldn’t eat anything all of the next day, so that would make up for it. Turning a corner and directing her steps at a bright blinking neon sign, she tilted her( que head back with a sigh. “God, I’m glad we left. Those people sucked, didn’t they? Why do so many people suck these days?”

As models, both of them had to take care of their bodies like nothing else in the world was important ─ just stay slim. And, usually, Cora did. She liked to have a healthy, clean eating lifestyle. But it was also important to have some food fun, wasn’t it? She would have to work an extra hour, but it would be worth the pain. Mary, however, would deal with it in another way ─ a not so healthy way. The redhead wished she could help, do something further, but every time se tried to point out that Mary wasn’t getting enough calories on that day, some snark remark would fly to hear head like a shark bite. “It is okay── I think we can do some extra boxing tomorrow for the extra calories. Or we can just have sex later.” She joked. “It burns as many calories.” The car spotted the girls, while Cora checked the plate for the fifth time, and approached. Sliding in, she rested her head on the seat. “God── now it feels like the world is spinning...” She licked her lips, hoping that the floor would come back soon. “Maybe. Or maybe we are just too cool for everyone. That’s why we think they suck.” The fashion people usually had their nose stuck up their arses, but Cora was used to it ─ she had dealt with them her whole life. “I kinda still want to find out whose party it was... Awesome wine.”

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abercrombie

Now, ignoring Cash was definitely out of the question.

The green emerald eyes of the irish locked on the other for a second, studying his figure thoroughly. Even if he wanted to, and he didn’t want to, Max couldn’t really put into words what Cash meant to him. It was more than someone he had fun messing with at this point. It was someone that, no matter what happened, would be a bigger monster than he was. It was an utterly selfish reason to like his company, but Max loved how human he felt when the other was around. He, as well, was really thankful for it.

“Now, where would be the fun in that?” he simply asked, though his voice had grown quiet and soft unlike before. “Ya tried to kill me before, I’m not gonna make it easier for ya just because I like ya. I’m petty like that.”

"Are you fuckin’ stupid?” He asked, looking from the Abercrombie model to the camera. It wouldn’t be pleasant if, when the doors opened, he was welcomed by the police. A gun, a silencer, a pocket knife... That was all he managed to care to the inside of the building, but it would raise enough questions alone. Actually, just by his looks, Cash could raise enough questions. It didn’t bother him when it was just the regular people, and he didn’t really care for authorities, but he would much rather just stay clear from them. “If you don’t shut up, I will make sure that next time won’t be an attempt.” There were occasional thoughts on Cash’s head of how he could dispose of Max. The fact that he would come back and grow limbs were quite annoying, however, it also allowed Cash to be... creative. He was the monster children’s stories were made of, and he knew it.

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brooke

                Maybe if it weren’t for the fact that she was so heavily involved with the medical field she wouldn’t have had a large amount of stress laying on her shoulders, but alas, here she was keeping herself up at night with worry. She just was so desperate for everything to work out, and more so for her selfish benefit than anything. She wanted to prove it wasn’t some silly fluke between two strangers — that the idea wasn’t so far fetched, and that the two of them could actually make something like this work. Glancing toward Sam for a brief moment, Brooke let out a little chuckle that seemed to be the most genuine one of the night, slowly lifting herself up and walking until she was nudged between his knees with her spine straightened out. “So literally just a quick lay?”

Every aspect of the whole conception was taken care by Brooke. Sam was involved, but his concerns were about the pregnancy itself and how it would be after the child is born ─ the good and the bad of it. When she proposed that he was faced of how much he wanted to be a father, but that would mean his child would be far from him, for a couple of months per year, maybe more. Maybe deep down he was enjoying what they had at that moment and hence why it was not working out, but that was just a stupid idea cause he knew his mind didn’t have that much power. "I mean── yeah. People have been doing that their whole lives, right? I mean... How many teen pregnancies can be us?” He was not, however, going to make any advances before she gave him a signal.

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barbara

{ ღ } —  She flashed the waiter a polite smile when he delivered their drinks then brought the glass of rosé to her mouth to make it look like she’s going to take a sip, even though she wasn’t. She didn’t like to drink alcohol in front of a crowd. She swapped her glasses the second he left the table and drank her water. ❝You haven’t taken me out in ten years! How would you know?❞ She swatted his arm lightly and chuckled. ❝Sam, I’m not going to let you go to a work event by yourself. You’re going to go this gala and you are going to have a fun time. Girl scouts honor.❞ She held her three fingers up to seal her promise. ❝Yeah – I can’t see you babysitting a newborn baby. So I’m going to pass on your offer to help. But thank you though.❞ She flashed him a forced smile at the end of her sentence because Barbara could imagine him taking care of a baby. Specifically her baby. And she did think about it a lot when she had a pregnancy scare when they were younger. Unfortunately, she never got pregnant to experience it first hand and now the mere thought of it made her slightly uncomfortable. She quickly reached out to grab her rosé, it was time to get a little buzzed. ❝Is there a certain color scheme you want me to pick? Like navy or like a champagne color? Do you want supportive friend or like ‘sexy date’? I can go full Jackie or Marilyn, it doesn’t really matter. How do you want me to look? I mean this is your big night.❞ She rambled on.

    ❛ Why does he keep calling me that? Please stop calling me that.❜ She thought to herself as she heard him call her Barbie again. She HATED that nickname with a burning passion ever since she was a little kid and if it weren’t used for her families’ brand, then she would ask people to never call her that. But she could not do that. Not only is it rude but It would ruin her image. Barbara waited for him to finish his thought before replying. ❝Well, I never got anything. I mean I got the ones I responded to but that’s about it.❞ She took a long chug of her rosé when she processed that he still had feelings for her at this day and age. It probably did not help that she felt a little back for him. But not enough to leave her boyfriend. She could not leave her longtime boyfriend for a man she hasn’t seen in ten years just because they had a nice lunch. ❝I didn’t either so I’m – I’m glad you feel that way.❞ She whispered uncomfortably. ❝I;m also glad that you’re not dead..❞

“True,” he replied to her statement, a little sad about the fact that he was true but he wished badly that it wasn’t. Yet, there he was trying to push her away when she had invited herself to the most boring event ever. “Maybe I am projecting── I will be incredibly bored and I don’t want you to see me that way.” He crisped his lips together before they turned into a soft grin. “Hey!” He exclaimed. “I am actually really good with babies, alright? I’ve babysit when we were in high school. Or did you think that just water shifts got me my old Chevy?” He said proud. Sam had always got everything he had for himself and he was proud of that. He had become more harsh after the Marine, but he still could take care of babies ─ after all, he would have his own one day. “─so many questions at one.” He took a sip of his drink to distract himself. “Go with Jackie. Champagne will look better with white? And a supportive friend because...” he couldn’t complete. He couldn’t handle if she went as a sexy date. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if he would handle as a supportive friend either, but there was no way of saying no to Barbie and he had learned that.

He was taken aback by her small explosion. Sam didn’t understand why she said that all of the sudden ─ he had been calling her Barbie since they were teenagers ─ but he would respect her wishes. “Alright, Barbara. I am sorry.” He lifted both hands in a surrender gesture. He wasn’t there to fight ─ that was the last thing he wanted from that meeting. “Barb──ara,” he made sure he didn’t call her by the nickname, “I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why you didn’t get it, but I can show them. Every single one of them.” Painfully, he still had all of them archived, as if he was still waiting for answer, but apparently she knew just as much as he did. It was frustrating to know that their whole break up was a glitch in the system, or that someone didn’t want them together (he could imagine who). And then she had someone else. Someone else who made her more famous, made her brand pop out, made her name bigger. Close to that, Samuel was no one. “But it’s all water under the bridge, huh?” He tried to say, more energetic. “I am glad that I am not dead either.” He managed to say in a weak attempt to sound humorous.

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gabriel

There was a smile drawn across his face in response to Samuel’s comment. Try as he might, he couldn’t help but remember the many times he had been told the same words by a much younger version of the soldier. It was almost poetic, how they wound up reliving some of those memories even after everything that has changed.

“I agree,” he offered warmly, the smile never truly disappearing. “I should come out to eat junk food more regularly. God knows I love the taste of a good hotdog.”

He took yet another bite, not too pleased by the results of his compliment, but being in too much of a good mood to let it ruin his night. He realized now that Samuel was right and he needed to stop idealizing him, but that warm remark was offered with a much different intent than the one Samuel was assuming.

“I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable, Sam,” he offered, remembering the man liked to be addressed by the affectionate nick name. “However, I’m afraid I’m not trying to make it work between us, as you say.”

There was a small pause, one he used to take a sip of his coca-cola.

“Even if there’s no hope for us, the fact that your smile is gorgeous hasn’t changed… I just… I wish I knew how to address you without making things even more complicated. I despise it when we part ways in bad terms.”

And what Samuel meant by out was in the streets, because he doubt most of the overpriced restaurants that Gabriel frequented would have something as delicious as that street hotdog, which was standing strong for longer than he was alive. Gabriel agreed, as usual, but he doubt that he would do. Somehow, they always ended up following the same patterns, and the pattern that he knew was that Gabriel would go back to his luxurious life and an occasional trip to memory lane, that could include him or not. 

"Okay, I get it,” he lifted both hands, the food as well, “you think I am handsome.” Even if he didn’t think that himself, he had heard enough from Gabriel. It wasn’t even a matter of just saying he was handsome, but he always felt that Gabriel was putting him at this pedestal and that he couldn’t be seen as human. “You don’t have to say it all the time── 

“──you are always doing this thing that you just make it seem that I am the most perfect thing to ever walk on Earth... And I am not. I am just a person, like everyone else.” He knew that his complaints would probably be ignored as usual, but he was too tired not to say something.