I Kiss Wizards @wizard-kisser - Tumblr Blog

miiilowo

badassdemonsword

this gif is like... almost biblical. as if hes experiencing a pharaohs curse...

lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently

wtf were you gonna say

redhotarsenic

Please respect my privacy

lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently

my deepest apologies

redhotarsenic

I forgive you

redhotarsenic

Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus

clouds-of-wings

"Watching my dad (a GP doctor) watch House is more entertaining than the show"

zoi-no-miko

GOD, I wish more doctors were more like this redditor's dad

sighinastorm

been ages since I saw a rage comic!

>thread is from 13 years ago

oh.

ninjamouse13

firebirdeternal

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"

stealmyheartaway

paws at you. whines at you. awouf

stealmyheartaway

awrruf... c'mere

stealmyheartaway

rrawrf

yugirimistwalker

Little wolf youre our last hope... our best driver just had a tummy ache

You are our last hope to win the Daytona 500...!

bluesturngold

aw fuck *fastens seatbelt*

what-even-is-thiss

Gets stuck in the past and makes a random village get way smarter and less violent in a generational sense because I keep smacking people over the head with a stick and telling them that it’s the devil’s metal whenever they try to use lead for something in my presence and there develops a very niche regionalized superstition that an angry warlock will jump out of a tree and beat the shit out of you if you touch lead with your bare hands

what-even-is-thiss

Gets excommunicated by the Catholic Church for telling people that they can banish the devil from their water if they boil it therefore saving hundreds of people from a cholera outbreak but I don’t care and keep trying to convince the locals to use soap more often

what-even-is-thiss

Meets another iseksied person in the far past and beats the shit out of them for participating in the slave trade and eating moldy bread

what-even-is-thiss

Gets seen as crazy when I say I’m distilling peppermint oil to banish the miasma but people start asking to have some real quick when the Black Death comes to town and I am unaffected due to my constantly minty fresh house repelling rodents and fleas alike

khoneyblaze

what if you sucked a girl off and she came beautiful carpeting all over your room and then you heard a chorus of angels sing 800 588 2300 empire

hotvampireadjacent

Ppl joke about lost media narrated like true crime. But I like it bc of that. Scratches the mystery itch without feeling exploitive to real crimes

transfemininomenon

dark souls 3 is ten years old ????

transfemininomenon

this isn't the gif i thought it would be .

negativeresponse

Feel Cold Yet ?

lokaror

GOUGAR CLAIMS COOL ROCK

ubersaur

God forbid women do anything

justpastsaturn

She had a good time, too

viralfrog

inthefallofasparrow

conzoop

I need to go to the seaside until I'm cured

conzoop

actually think I just need 4 million quid

punkitt-is-here

4 million quid can buy many seaside visits

kaijutegu

Go to the seaside and look there, it'll take some time to get 4 million squid but I have faith in you. :)

prokopetz

In terms of establishing the fundamental aesthetic of the 1990s strand of cinematic cyberpunk, the 1993 Super Mario Bros. adaptation is probably up there with Johnny Mnemonic and Lawnmower Man influence-wise, as much as we all hate to admit it.

facultativeactivity

What the fuck

prokopetz

Welcome to the "learned from this post that the first major live-action feature film adaptation of a pre-existing video game franchise was a dystopian cyberpunk AU of Super Mario Bros. for some inexplicable reason" club.

sabrieterrhisken

I do believe the stink of this movie saved us from some far worse projects. I have no idea what those would have been, but I believe.

prokopetz

Are you kidding? This film was the vanguard; it may have tanked in theatres, but the novelty of it led to a number of bandwagon-jumping projects in following years. After Super Mario Bros. dropped in 1993, we had Double Dragon and the Jean-Claude Van Damme Street Fighter in 1994, then Paul W S Anderson's Mortal Kombat in 1995; the unexpected commercial success of the latter film was reportedly the deciding factor when Angelina Jolie accepted the lead role in Tomb Raider a few years later, which in turn kicked off the second wave of major live-action video game adaptations in the early 2000s that gave us the Resident Evil films

captainwolfrandthe42nd

Don't forget the 𝘋𝘰𝘰𝘮 Movies

prokopetz

I prefer to focus on positive outcomes.

prokopetz

#The aesthetics of this film are fascinating #I’m obsessed with the bumper car style contact poles on the vehicles (via @cantovvn)

Everything in the dinosaur dimension runs on electricity because the fact that dinosaurs never went extinct there means there's no oil.

No, seriously; that's the actual, textual explanation for why the cars look like that.

freegiftjones

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.