im in a mood ™

its just me screaming into the void

[otaeha]

they really told me in school "when you start making 6 figures don't let lifestyle creep get to you remember your students loans" and i ignored it bc of my built in "im poor" mindset but omg i do be dropping 100$ on fannart and video games willy nilly now

[otaeha]

sometimes i realize im selfharming by restricting my own access to water but then i just,,, keep doing it

[otaeha]

Me after drinking 36 oz of coffee and eating only a cookie: why tf does my stomach hate me

[otaeha]

I hate those dumb quippy names they want all medical talks to have so much, no I will not come up with some stupid pun as a title for my educational PowerPoint ahzlciskJfitjr

Boss was literally like "I think you can come up with more creative names 😂"?? No?????? I literally cannot I'm sorry :GuraTired:

[otaeha]

Trying not to be rash but I'm thinking about quitting art lmao

[otaeha]

I'm gonna lose it, the work person I'm working under didn't do the thing he said he would and now I feel like I'm gonna have an ulcer 😩😩😩😩😩 this lady is not gonna get her chemo in time bc he didn't 2nd check like he said he would but now I'm like, we'll I could've checked last night and texted him but also he said he would do it so I assumed he would 😭😭😭😭 and bro does not get to work on time ever so he won't even notice until the patient is already here and the chemo tech that has to make it I gonna be mad 😔😔😔😔😔😔 I hate this

[otaeha]

While having my roommate be my live in chef has kept me alive during this year for sure I have also regressed so bad bc why am I literally spending 3 days straight eating only 1 meal a day bc I'm toouch of a baby to go buy myself food

[otaeha]

My friends stop falling in love with me challenge, failed 😔

But for real why does this keep happening how do I make it stop i hate rejecting ppl but I'm incapable of giving what they wantttttttt

[otaeha]

I need to get over the need to share my disordered eating on social media 😭😭😭 I think it's quirky but rly it's just sad lmao

[otaeha]

😭😭😭 I waited to make dinner bc I'm a dumbass and then my roommates were out there and I was feeling shy or something (note these are my friends I have known for 3 yrs) but now I'm starving and they say they're having friends over and there will be pizza that I'm welcome to but I haven't showered 8n like 3 days and was already feeling like being a hermit so now I will just have to skip dinner I guess 😭😭

[otaeha]

Me: I'll just shower in the morning b4 my internship

My constipation: no you won't, and you might be late 😏

[otaeha]

Where my poopshy babes at 😍 how yall shit without headphones I gotta know I lost mine

[otaeha]

Ah, I'm hungry but my roommates mom (this is their old house) spends like hours making the most delicious food in the kitchen and I am too awkward to go make my own trash food when she's there so I starve 😔 but also I do not want them to ask me to join bc even tho it is the most delicious food I've had in a while I feel so bad like I'm imposing 😔

[otaeha]

I think I might actually accidentally develop disordered eating habits 😔 I keep avoiding eating bc I don't want to cook and I can't buy ready to eat meals or fast food bc they aren't "healthy"

[otaeha]

I don't FEEL stressed or anxious in particular, but this is the second night in a row that I've hyperfixated on one single song for hours so....

[otaeha]

my friend keeps telling me about how hes playing ctf with his other friends and updating me on how good they are and their antics for like 3 days evn tho he KNOWS its my favorite ow game mode and no one likes playing it w/me bc all my ow friends hate that mode so bad and i already told him im jealous (in like ajoking way but) 😭😭😭😭

[otaeha]

LoVE having high functioning anxiety bc I do things like, don't eat before first day at 8am to 6pm internship and also don't bring lunch bc I'm not sure if I get break or where to put stuff