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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@otagen
ABOUT 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️
Timothy J. Tapeworm (he/him)
28 years old, mixed asian american
I do art and commissions. I also have ko-fi.
18+ followers please
Bigots, zionists, t-rfs, pedos/zoos/incest/noncon are not welcome.
here's a carrd for more.
My OC blog @timothytapeworm
https://bsky.app/profile/0tagen.bsky.social
3 cookies deep and it all starts to make sense
For me, Dante is the saddest character in 8:11
One of my most fav headcannons of Bart is that he loves jump style
Swagged out boyfriends
Bonus vkei Thad
not to have a racial politics moment about hyuna but i find that the role hyuna occupies within her independence in relation to her gender and race respectively places a very interesting contrast with the commonplace ideals of prioritizing independence + personal strength above all in mainstream feminism (which the fandom often associates hyuna with) vs. those ideals being used as a means of oppression and dehumanization against coloured women specifically. hyuna's independence, in a sense, is her both liberation and her burden.
there's a lot to say about the "strong masculine woman" image that hyuna is consistently propped up as (and by virtue of this reduced down to, as oftentimes this interpretation of her character by itself dismisses her character around the superficial values she is assigned) within the community. most prominently of these is that it is simultaneously misinterpreting her and, like the rest of the cast in alnst and their interpretations, something which hyuna herself in-universe is aware of and i believe actively encourages people to perceive her as, given her portrayal in 'our diva' and her coping mechanisms.
there is a common interpretation of strength, independence, and dominance being an equivalent to masculinity in the series — which, in hyuna's case, is should be considered alongside the common stereotype of coloured women being inherently 'masculine' and thus independent — that is both depicted and meant to be interrogated by the audience. and on a personal level, though i do feel hyuna can be and has definitely been shown as androgynous/feminine, i also do feel that there are many instances of her strongly presenting herself as masculine, even if it is through actions associated with masculinity rather than overtly dressing up or specifying herself as such. given hyuna's upbringing in segyein society, i do believe acknowledging this is an important part of their characters, as these circumstances are often reflected and contribute to their conflict in-universe.
what, specifically, is what fascinates me the most with hyuna in re: gender, is that the persona of strength she creates for herself in order to distance herself from her trauma + the segyein — the image of the strong, unaffected woman that we see displayed and deconstructed in 'our diva' — is what ultimately ties her back to them the most societally through her subconscious adherence to the segyein's concept of gender roles and power, all through trying to subvert these in her presentation. the only characters to view hyuna under the impression of childishness or nativety out of care, rather than the 'stone-cold' front of independence which she often uses to drown out her issues + which is often used against coloured women to mitigate their struggles and dehumanize them, are hyun-woo, her brother, who she so deeply cared for and was cared for by in turn, and jacob — a member of the rebellion, whose ideals were shaped outside of segyein society and the constructions for race and gender that they created.
& in re: hyuna's upbringing, we can see how largely her past with the segyein have fostered these beliefs. -> phan was already an absentee guardian that largely left hyuna & hyun-woo to fend for themselves, maintaining such a high social status and placing such little value in their lives that they are not even able to remember either of their names, and hyuna theirs in turn. hyun-woo's death rendering her without any support system and forcing her into independence because there is no one else she can rely on now, disallowing her the privilege of ignorance to the little value the system places in all pet humans lives — hers' especially.
now, place this all in contrast to a character like luka, whose entire character practices ignorance and escapism when faced with death, not because but nonetheless in large part due to the mere fact that he is allowed that privilege. whose idolization of hyuna, similar to how till idealizes mizi as a paragon of 'innocence', largely acts as an idolization of the independence and humanity he associates her with and that he has been largely denied in a way that reduces the complexities of her personality.
i think a lot about the fact that luka as a character represents the displacement of abuse through different social classes. through his life being so heavily controlled by segyein and then continuing to do onto that those who are weaker than him even when not strictly necessary or even out of malice — systematically, though, in a world where the value of their lives is determined by those of a higher social class than them, and power is measured through a similar metric, hyuna is far more vulnerable simply because of the circumstances of her birth.
unlike the ignorance and indulgence permitted of male characters like luka or till + the acceptance of the violence they create; unlike the reduction of women displayed in the characters of mizi or sua into something 'innocent' or 'pure' + the encouragement of ignorance in how little their lives are valued; hyuna's expectation in segyein society is all the emotional responsibilities of independence and none of the autonomy that comes with it. an experience which is shared by many coloured women, both in the idol industry and far beyond that in our society.
hylk from a colorblind lens is, simply put, an insufficient framework with which to view hyuna and luka's characters.
there's a lot of heartbreaking things about this frame. the control heperu exerts over luka strips him of his autonomy and his ability to grow. hyuna develops the maturity to understand that luka didn't have the capacity to make better choices, or to process and "account" for his actions. yet she loves him so fully, so completely, that her first instinct is to protect him from harm. her vulnerable, childish luka.
and isn't that a familiar torture, loving someone who hurts you in ways they can't understand? a betrayal that ruins both your lives. their inexpressible, deep-down remorse. it's a privilege to be seen as childlike—vulnerable, ignorant, inherently deserving of protection, care, and guidance—by someone you love. it is not a privilege afforded to everyone.
something that strikes me so deeply about hyunwoo's relationship with hyuna (particularly in actor au, but i believe it applies universally) is that he wants to protect his older sister because he sees her as a bit naive. she's not just a wise and worldly badass, or a caretaker. she's chaotic, ditzy, and openhearted, possibly to a fault. when jacob meets hyuna, he sees her in a similar way: deserving of protection. care. guidance. faith, in her ability to heal and to aid them. to work toward something better.
it's significant that the two places hyuna is seen as a 'child' or a 'kid,' or someone who deserves nurturing attention and protection, are 1) in her relationship with her brother 2) outside of anakt. the conditions of the garden and the stage are not conducive to this view of her, especially with the lens that they are sites where colorism is practiced and enforced as the norm.
luka is miserable. he is tortured and abused. his fair looks, which are decided and maintained by heperu, win him attention, accolades, and affluence. heperu's abuse and "their" (luka does not have a say) engagement with segyein society mean that luka ends up stunted, and deeply cruel. hyuna recognizes that he is both these things.
killing hyunwoo was brutal, unjust, and traumatizing, no matter luka's intentions or his level of forethought, and hyuna does not forgive him. in spite of their world's bleak conditions and the inherent cruelty of the system that subjugates them both, she acknowledges the discrepancies in their power and assigns responsibility for her brother's death to luka.
consider how important luka is to heperu as a commodity, and the punishment that would come if hyuna or hyunwoo had attacked him instead. consider that phan forgot hyuna and hyunwoo existed at all. from conception, hyunwoo and luka's lives were valued differently. vivimeng may have written that into the series to further their critique of colorism in the k-pop industry. but colorism's insidiousness extends far beyond the stage; it pervades our most private relationships and our thought patterns through unconscious bias. regardless of vivimeng's intent, these are the circumstances of their brown characters.
i just think it hits on something very real. being forced to mature through trauma while your pale, light-eyed friend recedes into a childlike state. recognizing their innocence, their ignorance, and loving them so deeply you hate yourself for it. the love is there, and it is mutual. it always has been. the power relations are there, too, and all the pain. it poisons the love, but the love is there. it was never a question.
my favorite panels from arise and walk are the ones below. i feel they capture the feelings i describe so succinctly. hyuna acknowledges the scars luka's left her with, and we get a sense for the depth of the injustice she faced. it is followed by another line, which contrasts the coldness of the first—at last, action. confrontation. but also, that familiar tenderness.
you, who betrayed me so cruelly
i finally hold you in my arms
*right clicks on you*
*views your properties*
while the issue of a lack of communication is more established in ships like ivantill or luhyu, this comic specifically speaks that all alnst ships have a lack of fundamental communication, including mizisua.
unknowingly, in an attempt to comfort and provide for mizi, sua ends up being more controlling as well. it ties back to her tendencies of self sacrificial behavior that end up becoming more selfish, the more her partner indulges in it. we see this warped kindness in alnst as well, where sua sees mizi as an innocent and fundamentally perfect person, which in of itself is a wrong perception of mizi, putting her on a pedestal to ensure she never leaves.
conversely, mizi’s self hatred of herself is pushed onto sua as a coping mechanism. as we’ve seen in previous media and comics, mizi acts passive to others, even apologizing when something is not her fault, something that she clearly despises of herself. so, when faced with an opportunity, she denies, and pushes her own insecurities onto sua. we see this explicitly in “fragile god, fading fast,” as well, where we see mizi’s obsession of sua’s fragility, showing that this is a mutually toxic cycle.
while mizisua do deeply and truly love each other, and their hearts are intertwined in almost every universe, the passiveness that sua seems to provide makes her complaints look like a sign to mizi that she’s just being annoying, as sua has consistently put mizi on a pedestal. when mizi shows a negative emotion over something, she does so in a way that ends up demeaning herself, which makes sua disregard the rest of the conversation. and the saddest part is that yet again, in this universe, their last conversation was an argument. a misunderstanding. they never got to sit down and talk. stripped from a true happy ending
⌛️💛💜❤️
Mizi's mixed reaction and feelings about her and Sua's dynamic is so interesting cause she for sure feels a sense of guilt when she uses Sua like that or hits her, and then Sua just forgives her all the time without a reprimand, but she can't help indulging in the comfort of being with Sua like this and having the burden taken off her by someone who can take it, Karma Mizi is especially interesting because her self-loathing reaches such high peaks for allowing Sua to do that for her and allowing Sua to placate her all the time to the point it looks like Mizi just used her, and all that stuff. Sooo many instances of this cycle. I like how ZOMST breaks down Sua's self-destructive tendencies and controlling demeanor very clearly because, although ZOMST Mizi eventually gives in to Sua's comfort, she's clearly hesitant about conceding to Sua when she's so passive and just wants Mizi to rely on her while insisting that she can embrace everything about Mizi if she just lets her in... and Mizi does... and it doesn't fix them; it's just indulgence in escapism for the moment. When they're adults, it clearly falls apart around them because they can't stay in the same bubble they had when they were kids
So Mizi really has been living in an abusive household and was trying to find a way to run away, that also explains her desperate cling to the industry once she was granted it's way in. Her worry for managing to earn her own income as soon as possible also paints the picture of how responsible and dutiful she could be to her job as an idol later on to the point of separating from Sua.
Above all she seeks independence and individualism, she doesn't want to be seen as a pet or as a sort of parasite to Sua, most likely as for her treatment in home. She was treated as a cute little pet instead of a person back in Alien Stage, it's not weird to imagine a similar adaptation here.
And as I thought, Sua has had a recurrent fantasy and behavior where she seeks to redirect Mizi's pain and feelings onto herself while also deciding over her body and actions.
I don't know if we will get to see more of Sua and her inner life but if I were to guess based on what we saw on Alien Stage as well and her master's treatment, I can assume she probably is treated as a pretty doll and glass child, lacking similar control over herself as Mizi does and therefore seeks stimulation through pain, excitement and taking over Mizi's behaviors helps her feel more in control.
I can't get enough of them please please please I need more
Karma portraits
first vatores of the year
we need digital pepper spray
David Alleyne for @mitsubinyuri !! Sorry for the delay with posting! He’s been sitting in my files 😭
Commissions are currently closed 💕
🌾🌾🌾
Harvesting my wheat
Hehehehehe
Can I fucking help you?
my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her
What
What
