andi

23 / she/they / hawk-coded marg girl / Twitter: otcpainkiller

[theweirdwideweb]

[soracities]

Kahlil Gibran, Sand and Foam // Roland Barthes, A Lover's Discourse

[sharkestsharks]

why do we have to go to school for six years for a nursing degree when nurse sharks get the job without any credentials

Oh! That’s an easy one! So basically nurse shar

[slimeyslimeyballsack]

nurse sharks have been training for 112 million years

[mashbrainrot]

'Stańczyk' by Jan Matejko, 1862 // Alan Alda as Hawkeye Pierce, Mash episode 'As You Were', 1974

[ordinarybureaucrat]

i love it when there's a leek in a shopping bag

[ordinarybureaucrat]

possibly the best product you could have poking out of your bag, apart from maybe the timeless baguette , both of which round out the aesthetics of the bag & show that you are a true "MarketHead"

[thealogie]

If I were Barack Obama I’d simply commit to the bit and make history a second time.

[thealogie]

If I were Barack Obama I’d post “it wasn’t just in my imagination” and turn off my phone

[otcpainkiller]

I'm back on Tumblr part time due to the economy of Twitter

[marypickfords]

The Lonely Doll, by Dare Wright (1957)

[jerrylandis]

its de niro’s pussy poppin platforms monday

[cottoncadetcrow]

what the fuck did you just say?

[jerrylandis]

mr de niro it’s an honour to have you here

[foreveriallyzombified]

me getting tortured by tiktok cenobites which is the secret bad ending of me trying to find lgbt community through iphone apps in my city: AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHHRRRRGHHH NOOOO AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH NOOO NEEDLES IN MY BALLS AHHHHH AAAAAHHHHHH NOOOO AHHHHH AHHHHH

tiktok cenobite with a ceramic mushroom garland from etsy threaded through their nipples whimpering to me as they open my rib cage and put slugs in it: it rly,, makes me feel like, th bad guy when u raise yr voice at me when i’m tryin to, hhhhhh just show u th outermost reaches of, sensation? n pleasure? n pain? n i’m trying to share my ki/nk/s n my squicks w/ u but ur not rly givin me th queer open minded vibe i thought u’d give when u opened the box,,, and tbh i was hoping for some1 more femme ,,; i’m sry if thats rude but i’m working on bein more assertive :o

[lakevida]

one of the line cooks just came out of the walk-in holding a little panera soup cup full of nightcrawlers like Hey whose... worms are these... and my boss ran over like I'm sooo sorry i was fishing this morning and didn't have time to take the worms home so i just hid them. my bad. i didn't think anyone would find the worms. my bad

[lakevida]

jefe caught five bluegills 🎣 by the way

[jerrylandis]

its de niro’s pussy poppin platforms monday

[cottoncadetcrow]

what the fuck did you just say?

[jerrylandis]

mr de niro it’s an honour to have you here

[destiel2025]

this is the funniest headline i have ever seen

[shinvermouthea]

why don't you spend more time with bruce springsteen and find out how fucked up you are

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[otcpainkiller]

latest looks from yours truly

imyourman1988———>otcpainkiller

[bettedavisgf]

this is actually incredibly funny he’s the worst person in the world but this is funny

[passionpeachy-deactivated202312]

thinking of when I had a dream I was an aging white father of 3 kids and my weeping wife was begging me to not leave (I don’t know why I was leaving her) and as I walked out the front door of our suburban home I turned around in my khakis and said “I’m sorry, but I have to go now and….I’m never coming back. I love you” and then woke up like

[passionpeachy-deactivated202312]