[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Among Us: Mansion Edition

Aight because I’m feeling stupid–I’m talking absolutely Willy Wonka–in this Chili’s tonight, I think it’s time I inundated you all in random crack ass Among Us Headcanons for the mansion. In no particular order: 

-Y’all see this post? This right here is Leo and MC. Don’t even @ me. He’s such a bastard and she glares at him the whole time while he just fucking dies laughing in their room. When Theo finds out? He howls with laughter too, later high fives Leo

-Dazai, Sebas, and Comte are the MOST sus players on earth. Like these mofos will handle accusations so calmly and dismantle them so quickly nobody fucking knows what they’re actually doing??? The others always skip until there’s hard evidence, but because of that they will often survive by the time the tasks are done 

-Every single time Arthur has even the slightest bit of suspicion directed at him for being the imposter, everyone just immediately votes him off. Half the time he isn’t the imposter, and every single time people can hear Theo cackling from wherever he is

-One of the easiest ways to narrow down Theo as the imposter is to see how long Vincent survives HAHAHA (Vincent takes 13 yrs to do tasks)

-Since Vincent struggles with tasks a lot, Theo will often do buddy system (MC will often tag along too–but Theo will just straight up kill her when he’s imposter and tell Vincent she’s busy with another task LMFAO Vincent always scolds him after)

-Isaac hates being imposter. With every. Fiber. Of. His being. HE HATES IT!!! He vents, they see him immediately, they boot him. FML. Also gives himself away because he will usually kill Dazai and Arthur first, and stutters like a maniac trying to defend himself–has no good alibi in a pinch LMAO

-Isaac groans every single time he gets a task in the electrical room. His palms start sweating because he just knows someone is going to sneak in and snap his neck while frantically trying to connect wires. Arthur most often kills him that way just because he finds it hilarious to hear Isaac curse

-Leo, Arthur, and Shakespeare are the ones most known to sabotage while they’re imposters. Leo just loves being a headache of a person, Arthur finds it most efficient to murder in the course of the chaos (after there’s a kind of false sense of security, he picks them off), while Shakes just love watching everyone scatter desperately like mice.

-Shakespeare is 100% that imposter that like stays beside Vincent the whole time while he’s doing tasks, playing buddy system, and then the second the game is about to end just straight up murders him in cold blood out of nowhere

-Comte will almost always enact petty revenge if someone kills MC early in the game–or at all. Catch this mofo finishing his tasks lightening speed and sitting at the security monitors, slamming the emergency button the second he’s deduced who the culprit is. He’s usually the fastest to figure it out; how quickly he responds is another matter lol

-Jeanne gets caught in milliseconds because he won’t even care about the mechanics of the game, and finds sneaking boring/stupid/too much effort (also just bad with technology, it takes him forever to learn the controls). Will at least attempt to kill in isolation, but otherwise doesn’t much care about being stealthy–and so is often caught fast (always kills Comte first much to the man’s dismay)

-Mozart is…surprisingly good at the game? Not quite as skilled as the trio mentioned earlier, but he’s very good at coming up with air-tight alibis and employs a slow, methodical approach. Will have 5 or 6 of them dead before anyone suspects it’s him, kills randomized targets, and will frequent the security room while people are trying to figure out who it is. Will do buddy system with Jeanne, and will usually find the imposter to avenge his good friendo–otherwise just does tasks and chills if he ain’t imposter

-Leo just plays to have fun! He’s good at it but doesn’t really go hard enough to evade suspicion for very long if he’s imposter, mostly kills people he thinks will be most frustrated with being killed/least suspecting. People are usually yelling at him to complete his tasks bc he often zones out when he becomes a ghost LMFAO

-Leo and Comte sometimes do the buddy system, but honestly? They just devolve into murdering each other so fucking fast it’s pointless AHHAHAHAHHAHAH they’re just constantly squinting at each other; they don’t trust the other as far he can throw him (Idk if y’all have seen any of Vanoss’ streams on yt but I just keep seeing that clip of him in MedBay getting scanned and going “nogla you gonna kill me? just fucking kill me you fucking french bastard” when nogla lingers a little next to him and I start wheezing because all I see is literally Leo and Comte)

-Napoleon rarely gets imposter, so he’s usually spearheading the crewmate effort. Gets his tasks done very quickly (if he doesn’t get murdered; though he often has Isaac for buddy system) and camps outside the security room after making a few rounds. Usually figures out who it is fairly quickly–though his accuracy is spotty

-If Napoleon is imposter he tends to have a hard time killing people, so he’ll literally just pretend to do tasks and vibe until the time runs out. It’s the inactivity and aimlessness that tends to give him away

-MC tries to be stealthy, but she usually times her kills poorly or gets walked in on. Sometimes she manages to conceal the body or her boo looks the other way to let her indulge in the fun, but otherwise she gets found as imposter fast

-There are a few legendary rounds where MC manages to fool most of the house into thinking she’s a crewmate because they’re so busy pointing fingers at each other she just skates by easy, but she always feels horrible after for betraying their trust (the men all silently agree it was uproarious)

-Vincent as imposter is fucking hilarious because he’ll just turn himself in???? Like he won’t even try. Everyone will tell him it’s okay if he gets a little stabby–it’s part of the game–but he just has no heart for it. Theo will often switch devices with him to relieve him of the stress. These rounds are always so chaotic because it usually takes the residents a second to deduce the switcheroo

-You know how I said Shakespeare plays buddy and then kills Vincent in cold blood? The hilarious inversion of this is that Dazai will often try to follow Isaac to protect him but Isaac will run away, so they will often be chasing each other all over the map LMFAOOOO Dazai will do this regardless of whether he is imposter or not, so there’s really no way to tell if he’s just messing with Isaac or has a lurking killer intent

-If Theo is imposter? Pandemonium. He will kill people off one by one in isolation and vent so fast nobody can figure out who did what, always paying close attention to the tasks that need doing so he has a solid alibi. Because Vincent tends to believe him and verifies easily, it can take a little longer for people to figure out it’s Theodorus. Arthur and Dazai tend to be the ones that are the first to suspect it’s him

-Sebastian will often be doing his tasks, just chillin. One can usually see him buddy system with Napo and/or MC. He loves to watch the other men be imposter and notes down their go-to tactics and reactions to killing and being killed in the game; especially if it’s uncharacteristic of them. All well and good right? 

-Sebastian as imposter? The funniest shit in the world. He’s similar to Isaac in that he hates it, mutters apologies and grimaces every time he has to kill people (note: he does not include Arthur and Dazai among people, sometimes smiles a little if he takes them out;;;;). Will lie convincingly only because his voice/writing does not waver–his stoicism serves him well. When he has to kill Napoleon, though? Forget it. He apologizes a million times after, but honestly Napo just finds it hilarious–will just be like “well-played, Sebas, as expected of our resourceful butler.” Sebas still. Feels guilty. Like you can literally look at the chat history and see Napo as ghost like “AAHAHAHHA oh he killed my ass, nice” while MC’s like “lolol” and Jeanne like “he got me good too, never saw him coming in nav”

-Person who gets killed the least? Vincent (I mean come on, it’s Vincent.) MC is runner-up. They don’t like killing her, but there are a lot of idiots in the mansion that do it just to get a rise out of her (cough Leonardo/Dazai) or just because she’s an easy target in the moment

-Person who gets killed the most? Usually Arthur, runner-up Isaac (Arthur because everyone seeks to get back at him for his shenanigans irl, Isaac because he tends to get indecisive/nervous)

-Also this happens to Dazai once as imposter (Isaac plans it out of sheer spite) and the entire mansion was wheezing about it for weeks

In-game Colors: 

Comte: yellow/white/black (when he’s feeling emo) + little baby accompaniment or party hat  Napoleon: black or green, cyan when he’s feeling chaotic + sergeant/army hat Leonardo: brown + toilet paper roll Vincent: yellow + green sprout Theo: dark blue or red (feral energy) + cowboy hat or gladiator helmet Isaac: pink + cherry Arthur: dark blue or lime + backwards cap Dazai: purple or yellow + toilet plunger or bird’s nest Jeanne: always purple + “DUM” sticky note Mozart: cyan + surgical mask Shakes: red or orange + flamingo hat Sebas: always black + either the ninja mask or the chef hat

[delicateikemenmemes]

ikemen vampire text memes

i was considering making this dazai & isaac but then the idea of jean unintentionally traumatising mozart was too funny to pass up 😂

part 2

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

hello~ i saw you’re taking fluff ABC requests! can i get comte with C H J L S Y please? i hope thats not too much (if it is then just the first 3 will be fine), thank you!!! :)

Hiya friend! You absolutely may, not to worry, I love writing about Comte!! You’re very welcome, and I hope you enjoy my rambles :D 💖💖💖 Below a cut for length!

Fluffy ABC headcanons listed here for requests!

C = Cuddling (how does he like to cuddle?)

His favorite way to cuddle tends to be with her in his lap in any permutation of that position. Usually she’s sitting on his thighs with her legs over the arm of a chair/on the other side of the couch, or she’s all curled up between his legs (she feels guilty about being too heavy and making his legs fall asleep, no matter how much Comte protests). She’ll lean against his chest and close her eyes, or hug him around his shoulders and snuggle close to his neck while he wraps his arms around her waist. From time to time his hand might fall to her thigh, stroking gently, or he might drop a kiss to her forehead/shoulder--anywhere he can reach, really. Either way, it’s a very comfortable position for both of them; he’ll always have a blanket ready to drape over her in the winter time since she often falls asleep that way. He loves it because he can watch over her and soak in some quality time at his leisure, no demands being made of him and no chaos to resolve. Just the quiet, the crackle of a hearth/fire perhaps, and the rhythmic sound of her breathing--beating heart steady. She’s safe, she’s warm, she’s cherished, and she’s content; what more could he ask for? (She loves it too because she just loves being wrapped up in the scent of him and in his arms, falls asleep so readily because of how comforted she feels ;-;).

He also loves having her legs around his hips when she’s in his lap--but that usually leads to sexy times, and this is fluff hour, my darlings ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

H = Holding Hands (when/how does he like to hold hands?)

Literally the only time this man would ever say no to hand-holding is when he has to actively use his hands for something else. (Basically sees her empty hand and sees his own empty hand and is just the “Is for me? 👉👈” meme). Otherwise he would die before saying no. That being said, he tends to be pretty practical and chill about it. Out on the town? Likes to hold her hand to keep her close, likes showing off his favorite person in the world, loves the feel of her hand against his own--warm. (From time to time his thumb will drift to her fluttering pulse along her wrist and he’ll sigh blissfully; it reduces his terrifying intrusive worries about losing her suddenly to mere background noise.) 

Usually it’ll just be her hand in his, but when it comes to sexy times he’s more partial to their fingers being intertwined ;)

J = Jokes (does he like to joke around with or prank her? how?)

Okay but this one made me laugh, only because my first thought was “he’s a clown s2g”. What I mean to say is that he’s a huge tease; really enjoys gently flustering his love. He’d never cross boundaries or do anything appalling, but he will ask her to do things that make her bashful because he thinks it’s absolutely adorable/endearing to see her out of sorts. Seduction is the name of his game, and he intends to see both of them have fun along the way (he’s a lovable rascal). Will ask her to undress him after a long day to enjoy the blush on her cheeks in the privacy of their room, or ask her to kiss him goodbye at the door if he has to go into town to run an errand. They will be simple little requests, or even observations sometimes~

One surefire way to surprise him/get him back though is to respond to his teasing with utterly serious love--it makes him freeze in his tracks every single time. If she anticipate his moves, he will be completely baffled for a moment. For example, say it’s his usual tea time and he’s really absorbed in his work (or he’s pretending to be). “MC would you mind--” Be one step ahead of him, hold that macaroon up to his lips like “Don’t worry, sweetheart, leave it to me--say ah~” And he will literally scream internally and die; he won’t ever see it coming. 

Note: this will lead to rigorous love-making in one way or another (either that moment or later that night) so be forewarned if she seeks to thwart him HAHA 

Beyond that, though, I think he and his MC are also a naturally light-hearted couple; they find fun wherever they are and joke around easily. Whether that means teasing each other, or just snickering over puns/nonsense.

L = Love (how does he show her he loves her?) Take two! I did another one with a different spin on it without realizing because I’m literally too in love with him to stop

If I’m honest? I think Comte’s biggest indicator of genuine, abiding love is vulnerability. He is always overcompensating, always acting to make other people comfortable; always a little too giving. If MC can encourage him to be greedy, to let down his guard with her--to be less than polished and perfect and magnanimous to the point of self-silencing--that is the greatest way he can show love. It means he trusts her to see him for all that he is, hiding nothing, and isn’t afraid that doing so will mean losing her forever. People can rely on him too much, ask for too much, and while he does love answering people’s needs and seeing them happy, at the end of the day he can neglect himself sometimes. She coaxes him out of his protective isolation slowly by showing him that he’s safe and loved even when he gets a little needy for affection, a little needy for reassurance. When she shows him that he’s still adorable and sweet and precious when he asks for help, he is like putty in her hands. Fair warning to MC though--if she does this she better be prepared to be spoiled tenfold in return; he can’t help himself!

S = Secrets (how open is he with her?)

Comte is a slow burn through and through my friends; he needs time to really open up. It’s not that he thinks MC will betray his trust or regard him with indifference; rather, he doesn’t have much confidence others will like him in his more vulnerable state. (And honestly, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if people have toyed with his weaknesses in the past. Yes, Vlad, I’m looking at you.) He just assumes he’s a lot of baggage, that the truth of who he is and how he thinks is just too depressing. He tends to hide his more overwhelming feelings and loneliness, tends to hide what he wants; he doesn’t want to impose on others or burden them. That being said, if one pays attention to his tells, if she shatters the illusion of his composure with confident concern, he will begin to share what he’s thinking more and more. He will give up the facade slowly, reach out to her more consistently as she offers him a safe, sensitive place to rest. (I feel like his biggest indicator is sudden silence: if he doesn’t know what to say it’s usually because he’s either caught off guard or overwhelmed by emotion, and he needs a second to conceal it). 

I don’t think he’ll ever be completely open with his feelings like that in any kind of public setting. He needs the comfort of privacy, the truth of who he is hers and hers alone; it is a privilege that belongs to his beloved. He will share bits and pieces of himself outside, snapshots of what he’s truly like, but the entirety of his selfhood will be concealed only between them two. 

Y = Yes (how would he propose to her?)

Haha, this will actually come up in his MS and a future event, so look forward to it! But there are some big points to hit home when it comes to his proposal process. 

First and foremost, he doesn’t give a single fuck what others think. He considers marriage and everything that comes with it secondary to the truth that lies between him and his cherished one. Does she want to stay by his side, and is she ready for that level of commitment? Before he ever goes public with the depth of their ties, he needs to know that they are on the same page without equivocation in private. And more importantly, what her comfort zones are. Does she even want marriage? Does she want it to be a public affair, or would she prefer less fanfare? How does she want to go about this?

He thinks marriage in and of itself is a cheap promise for eternal creatures; it’s too lodged in social convention and cultish religious tradition to mean squat to him. He will take their bond seriously, and he will absolutely respect her feelings about marriage, but he wants something more timeless and equal between them--something not easily severed. He will wait as long as he needs to for her to be ready for that. Marriage to him is more of a universally acknowledged symbol of their union; a way for other people to recognize that they’re devoted to someone else, and a way for him to express deep romantic feeling openly. As long as he knows at the end of the day that they’ll always be together on their own terms, side by side, that’s really all that matters to him.

His proposal will begin in private; it will be an intimate, fairly solemn moment between them. Is she ready to become a vampire’s bride? Can she accept that kind of future, and everything that comes with it? He doesn’t want her to be socially pressured by a crowd or even himself and the other residents of the mansion--he wants this to be her choice and vow, through and through. This isn’t about getting her to agree, this is about gauging where she is emotionally. If she needs more time to be sure, he’s happy to give it (but when he proposes he will have paid very careful attention to her potential receptivity; it is unlikely he would jump the gun and risk frightening her).

He will take her to a little church at midnight, well into the darkest hours of the night. Each breath will hang like a whisper in the air, swallowed by the cool and amplified by the quiet. He will try to provide a dress for her, but if she’s partial to one she already has, he won’t protest (he will just pout because he LIVES to buy her dresses and this is a special occasion, one he intends to remember forever ;-;). He’ll take a moment at the altar where a ceremonial binding would usually happen, and pause. 

He looks more serious than usual, his expression penetrating. He’ll take her hands in his own, squeeze them gently as her gaze finds his. The silence is gentle, but anticipatory--charged with what’s to come. He speaks slowly and softly.

“I’ve asked you before, but I’m going to ask one more time, here and now; a vow between us. Will you stay by my side, a vampire’s bride, for as long as this life gives us? Will you marry me someday?”

They’ve talked about the prospect before, and she’s already proved her mettle--she has expressed no intention of letting him go. Even if that means becoming like him in the future to stay together, even if that means facing the grief of losing human friends and family. She knows what it means to agree to this bond, and she’s thought it through; she knows this is what she wants. She dreads a future devoid of his presence so much more than any necessity to forfeit her mortality.

“Of course I will,” her answer is equally soft but firm, every bit the woman he fell in love with; sensitivity lined with steel. 

The next second she’s leaping into his arms and he laughs, melting into the delight of her certainty, relieved to know he isn’t alone (and won’t be alone ever again), more in love than he ever thought he could be. He holds her tight for a moment before letting go, pressing a kiss to her left ring finger--one he fully intends to adorn with a proper ring of his choosing (he was having it made to suit her so it would take a little longer to be ready, one of a kind).

That being said whenever she’s ready (or wants) to have a public ceremony, he’s ready with bells on! He will listen very, very carefully to the customs she recognizes as binding and the kind of wedding she wishes for, and will essentially ensure that the process reflects a balance of their mutual desires (as always, leaning into what she wants a little more). He’s also a hopeless romantic, so despite his private feelings about marriage, he will enact all the cute little traditions he’s picked up along his long, long life that express earnest wishes/prayers for a bride's happiness. If it makes her smile--and sometimes cry happy tears--then he thinks it simply makes all those years he waited for her to enter his life worth it.

[clutterfile]

[earadriewiel-falaloth]

prepare for trouble and make it a mlqc meme.

[acrispyapple]

MLQC CH: 兰夜绮景

no one really asked for it, but i like it. so here they are! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

[delicateikemenmemes]

otome games: take a broken guy, fix him, and he will love you forever.

how MC should be like: do i look like bob the fucking builder to you?

[ikevampeventarchive]

#StayHome

#StayHome with Napoleon

“I think a time like this isn’t bad at all. What about you?”

Extended Quote: “Today I’m going to cook for you. What do you want to eat? …….Mhm. Got it. I just had a sudden thought but… spending time together alone like this is pretty luxurious too. I think a time like this isn’t bad at all. What about you?”

—

#StayHome with Charles

“Let me be of your service for today. ……It’s fine, right?”

Extended Quote: “Heheh, I’m glad. About what? Because lately, I get to stay by your side all the time. I want to make you feel as happy as I am. …..Ah, I have an idea! Come here. Let me be of service to you for today. ……It’s fine, right?”

—

#StayHome with Arthur

“I’ll chase away the boredom for you. Well? Come into my arms.”

Extended Quote: “Why do you look so bored? How about I chase away the boredom for you. Well? Come into my arms. Hm? Just once is fine, I want to try writing with you in my embrace. But… You’re too cute I might not be able to work.”

—

#StayHome with Sebastian

“Shall we enjoy ourselves as per usual and do our best?”

Extended Quote: “….There’s no free time to be idle. First, open the mansion’s windows for ventilation, then let’s have a mopping showdown through the corridor. Once that is over, it’s time to prepare food――. Shall we enjoy ourselves as per usual and do our best?”

—

#StayHome with Mozart

“I’ll play the piano for you since you look so depressed.”

Extended Quote: “I’ll play the piano for you since you look so depressed. But promise me one thing. During my performance, don’t think about anything else except for me. A favorable response. ……Well then, shall we start this performance for two?”

—

#StayHome with Leonardo

“……It’s alright, I’m going to protect you.”

Extended Quote: “Come into my arms, cara mia. ……Yep, that’s good. I feel like you haven’t been smiling much recently. I’m going to pamper you so much today until you don’t want it anymore. ……It’s alright, I’m going to protect you.”

—

#StayHome with Faust

“Today, I have decides to make you my body pillow.”

Extended Quote: “Zzz…… Ah… I dozed off a bit. The warmth of your body feels unexpectedly good…… If you’re free, then please obediently remain here…… Or rather, I’m not letting go. Today, I have decided to make you my body pillow.”

—

#StayHome with Vincent

“Today, I like you a lot too. I love you.”

Extended Quote: “Today, I want to draw with you. Well, come here. Doing something you love together with the one you love… No other happiness can compare. Ah…. there’s something I forgot to say. Today, I like you a lot too. I love you.”

—

#StayHome with Jean

“Your smile, I really do… like it.”

Extended Quote: “I tried cooking the dish Napoleon taught me. A part of the kitchen was damaged but….. Will you give it a try? …..Is that so, I’m glad. I is always my wish to see you smile. Your smile, I really do… like it.”

—

#StayHome with Comte

“―……I feel like pampering you”

Extended Quote: “Come and sit here. Today, I brewed some black tea for you. Here you go. Haha, nothing is better than you liking it. How to thank me? Let’s see, how about… giving your day to me? ―……I feel like pampering you”

—

#StayHome with Shakespeare

“―……Well then, the show is staring. Please relax and enjoy.”

Extended Quote: “Since you’re bored, I made a play for you. The performer is yours truly, and the spectator is you. Having a play just for two once in a while isn’t bad at all. ―……Well then, the show is staring. Please relax and enjoy.”

—

#StayHome with Isaac

“I’ll make up for your worn out smiles……Because I’m your lover after all.”

Extended Quote: “I prepared a telescope for astronomical observations. This way, we can gaze at the star even from the bedroom. I’ll find tons of ways to make you smile. I’ll make up for your worn out smiles……Because I’m your lover after all.”

—

#StayHome with Dazai

“I’ll make an improvised story just for you.”

Extended Quote: “I’ll make an improvised story just for you. Once upon a time, there was a novelist whose heart was taken by a woman who came from the door―― Yep, it’s our story. Will you forgive me for only being able to love in such a tactless way?”

—

#StayHome with Vlad

“I wanted to see you surprised, so I made you a banquet of Transvaal Daisies.”

Extended Quote: “Close your eyes….. Okay, you can open them now. Haha, surprised? That’s right, I wanted to see you surprised, so I made you a banquet of Transvaal Daisies. Do you know the meaning of Transvaal Daisies? You can try searching for it when you have time. After all, the meaning of this flower is my feelings.”

—

#StayHome with Theodorus

“This is unlike me? Since we have time, I just thought that I should return to you the favor for always lending a hand.”

Extended Quote: “Hey Hondje, come here. I made some pancakes for you. I even shared some of my special honey with you. ……This is unlike me? Since we have time, I just thought that I should return to you the favor for always lending a hand. Stop grinning and eat.”

[delicateikemenmemes]

IKEVAMP SINGAPOREAN!MC HEADCANONS (language edition)

this one’s for my fellow singaporean ikevamp stans i know y’all out there somewhere 👀 i might do a food/culture & lifestyle/misc one if anyone wants me to. anyways without further ado, have some language headcanons:

she does know how to speak some french as part of her job. though if she’s filipina-singaporean, there’s a good chance she learned french in school, so she’d likely be better at it than an MC who didn’t learn french in school and thus had to depend on duolingo & internet friends 😂

that being said, she feels most comfortable speaking with arthur and isaac (such as it is…), because she can switch back to english when it’s just them.

they’re impressed by how fluent she is—singapore was a british colony during arthur’s time but idk how much he would know about her; and she wasn’t a british colony yet during isaac’s time so he’s probably never heard of her. either way, they didn’t think MC would be that well-versed in english. she has gotten this a fair bit in her line of work, so she just sighs and busts out the usual “actually i learned it as a first language where i came from” explanation.

(she tries switching to english when she meets shakespeare, but he leaves her… mystified, to say the least)

usually she’s pretty good at keeping her Queen’s english and singaporean english (known colloquially as ‘singlish’ which is basically a clusterfuck of broken shortened english and words/phrases from the various languages & dialects spoken locally) separate. eg. “could you please stop doing that?” vs “oi stop that lah.” like when she’s at work or talking to someone from another country, she uses Queen’s english. but when with friends and families, she switches to the local ‘dialect’.

but occasionally, especially when she’s tired and thus her mental filters aren’t as strong, her ‘dialect’ (as she calls it) slips out, and arthur & isaac are left scratching their heads. the rest of them who don’t speak as much english are even more confused, and those that don’t at all don’t really know what’s going on but can tell from the others’ reactions that she said something odd.

oh, and when she’s pissed? like, pissed to the point where neither french nor english can fully encapsulate her rage? well, if she speaks hokkien (a chinese dialect), she switches to that. and the stuff that comes out of her mouth… HOOO BOY it’s a good thing no one there understands her or their ears would be bleeding.

exhibit A: when she gets fed up with arthur’s flirting, she tells him to do something with a rotting pig’s corpse and his lan jiao (you can probably guess what that means based on context lmao). he has not the foggiest what she just said, but he can tell it was EXTREMELY RUDE and if he’d said it comte would’ve personally scrubbed his mouth out (“i require GOOD MANNERS in my mansion you disobedient child”)

exhibit B: she’s had Enough of theo’s teasing/insults, so she tells him “kan ni na chao chee bai” (EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT MEANS GOOGLE IT BUT DO NOT SAY IT EVER unless the recipient REALLY deserves it). later she feels bad and apologises profusely to him. he’s a little bemused but he accepts it. he has no clue what she said but he can tell from the way she’d said it and her apology later that it was very rude.

exhibit C (not a vulgarity): ‘abuden’ which is basically ‘duh’ but EXASPERATED & SARCASTIC. eg. she’s mad at napoleon kissing her when she went to wake him up that morning. he’s like “are you still mad at me for what i did this morning?” she explodes at him like “ABUDEN???” and him being Monsieur de Wahaha, he bursts into laughter because it sounds so weird to him but she said it so seriously and with such a furious expression that he couldn’t help himself, which only ticks her off even more.

chinese & its various dialects are not the only tongues incorporated in our slang. chances are, she knows a bit of malay even if she’s not of malay ethnicity (and she could be; i’m not specifying what ethnicity my MC is for the sake of representation). 

example 1: ‘alamak’, which is an exclamation of shock/dismay. if she forgets to bring isaac a sandwich for him to have with his rouge, you can be certain to hear a loud smack on her forehead and an exclamation of “ALAMAK I FORGOT TO BRING HIM HUMAN FOOD ISAAC PLS DON’T GO FERAL”

example 2: ‘sayang’. if used as a verb, it means to pet/stroke/caress someone in an affectionate manner. when arthur is feeling anxious & insecure, MC will offer to sayang him. he’ll lay his head on her lap, and she’ll pet his hair and whisper sweet reassuring words to him.

it can also be used as a term of endearment like ‘sweetheart’ or ‘dear’. it works in any context (romantic, platonic, familial, what-have-you). MC will call her lover of choice ‘sayang’, and he loves the way she says it, so warm and sweet 🥰 

honestly if she’s dating leonardo, you will hardly hear them use each other’s names. instead what you’ll be hearing is a whole load of “cara mia”s and “sayang”s (real names are only used when it’s Serious Business).

though if she’s an especially friendly/affectionate MC, she may use it in platonic cases too. when jean apologises to her after nearly attacking her in napoleon’s route, she’ll smile at him and say “it’s okay, sayang, i know you weren’t in control of yourself.” (bonus points if she ‘sayang’s his head too aww). he has no idea what she said, but he feels v comforted nonetheless (look, i personally turn to mush when a kind older malay lady calls me sayang and so jean will too okay i don’t make the rules)

it can ALSO mean ‘what a pity’ (yes it’s a very versatile word). scene: it’s game night and theo just barely loses to arthur by like a margin. cue a little click of MC’s tongue and a sigh of “aiya, sayang…” (theo gets a little peeved about it, bc he can tell from just her tone that she’s pitying him, and he doesn’t need a hondje’s pity.)

example 3: ‘tak boleh tahan’ which is used to indicate you’re Absolutely Done with something or someone. isaac hears her muttering this phrase to herself when she’s had enough of trying to tidy up leonardo’s shitstorm of a bedroom (“that leonardo… really tak boleh tahan”). she explains it to him when he asks (“you don’t need to feel obligated to answer me, necessarily… but it would greatly satisfy my curiosity if you do, as i have heard you mumbling that phrase to yourself on several occasions…”). from then on, he uses it when he’s had Enough of arthur & dazai’s teasing. he butchers the pronunciation, and it sounds pretty awkward in his british accent, but MC finds it so cute she can’t bear to correct him.

also, she WILL whip out a good old ‘goondu’ when she’s exasperated with the residents’ antics (apparently it originally means ‘fat’ in tamil & ‘hard’ in malay but when used as slang it means ‘idiot’, so that’s what it means when she uses it). seeing dazai get stuck on the window ledge that first night? “smh what kind of goondu enters the house via WINDOW? my mother will whack my ass out of the house if i tried that! ‘since you like coming in through the window so much you can jolly well sleep outside tonight!’” 

“your mother?? aren’t you an adult?? with a place of your own??” 

“YOU DO NOT WANT TO MEET AN INDIAN MOTHER TRUST ME SHE WILL KICK ME OUT OF MY OWN HOUSE IF SHE FELT LIKE IT” (if MC is an ethnic indian lmao) 

(sorry i’m more familiar with chinese/hokkien & malay slang so if there are singaporean ikevamp stans of other ethnicities that weren’t represented here—eg. indian-singaporean, eurasian-singaporean, filipino-singaporean etc.—pls feel free to add on :’))

tl;dr: i like to think a singaporean MC would be super feisty in her language and attitude (but she also knows when to be polite and filter herself when need be… most of the time anyway)

[delicateikemenmemes]

ikevamp as weird memes i found on pinterest part 3

bc when something goes well the first 2 times you do it again a third time x)

napoleon

mozart

leonardo

arthur

vincent

theo

dazai

isaac

shakespeare

jean

comte

sebastian

BONUS

theo about shakespeare

MC first arriving at the mansion

asjjfsdklsajfnskd this has been sitting in my drafts for far too long bc i forgot about it 

part 1 | part 2

[delicateikemenmemes]

ikevamp memes part 11

this better be how jean proposes to MC when his route is eventually released in english and he gets a proposal story event too

if sebastian’s route isn’t filled with history jokes i’m gonna be super disappointed

BONUS

leo stop bringing out the worst in comte

sebas: “yes you are absolutely right, monsieur napoleon”

thanks y’all for the love and support on the previous ones 🥰 i really enjoy making these so i’m glad you guys are enjoying it too!

tag squad: @kisara-16 @datenoriko​ @ravendoom​ @thedollarstoresatan​ @funshinebear6​  @nafeary​ (if anyone wants to join the tag squad let me know! ☺)

(part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10)

[delicateikemenmemes]

the isaac apple is cursed af and i apologise for nothing

[delicateikemenmemes]

ikevamp memes part 9

here’s the full image bc i know it’s kinda small

BONUS

this is the kind of shit that goes on in the mansion while sebas and MC are out running errands

this last one’s a ride

(part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8)

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Do you think they would actually enjoy the modern world? Or would they want to stay in their current time period?

Hm, well, I think that may vary depending on each suitor if I’m honest! (I’ll be excluding Sebastian from this one, only because he is a modern man and I wager he would want to stay in the mansion in order to finish his thesis) 

Under a cut bc it’s a long boi:

I think for people like Arthur and Theo, for instance--who always seem to live in the fast lane--it might not really prove much of a problem. They would continue enjoying the night life and move with their busy schedules. Tl;dr: (For them? Same shit, different day)

Vincent would likely be doing just fine given how Theo often provides assistance in places where he struggles; to promote his art, to spark intrigue in the general public and benefactors. He might be a little overwhelmed by the influx of stimuli that comes with the modern era, constant noise and interaction and movement--perhaps worry that people are losing their ability to live in the moment. (Not to mention what’s being done to the environment...) There might be a learning curve/adjustment, but I think Theo would help him ease in. Plus, it would be a little easier to promote his art given the less stringent restrictions on public exhibitions. He’d still have to work for his fame, but at least the van Goghs wouldn’t have to live in constant unease in the proximity of the cutthroat academy.  Tl;dr: (Mixed feelings, but tries to stay positive about modern times)

Dazai is more familiar with this kind of life of quick turmoil and breakneck speed, if anything he falls back into his old coping mechanisms--hello writing, drinking, and smoking. An overwhelming influx of information and suffering would probably be hard for him to manage, despite how expertly he hides it. I think I would be worried he would lose himself in the dismal reality of diminished connection with other people. Yes I’m shoving him into therapy, I want him to start living for himself and taking care of himself ffs

That isn’t to say there aren’t happy possibilities for him, just that I think he really needs to heal first. I could see him very happy in a kind of writer’s circle with people he loves and trusts; less expending his energy in a desperate attempt to fill the void and please others, more cultivating his own happiness... Tl;dr: (Positive potential, but honestly part of me thinks the past quieter/simple/rural life suits him better...he still loves meme culture tho, he finds it so expansive and creative)

Isaac is in a similar boat as Dazai, I think! He has wonderful potential as a mentor and professor, and living in a world that has a little more patience and respect for genius might help encourage him to put himself out there. That being said, I think the pace of life would exhaust him though--he is very much the kind of person that prefers to keep to himself and just puzzle and tinker. Baby boy just wants to do equations, build little inventions, and read up on the recent discoveries in astrophysics (BRUH WHEN THE IMAGE OF THE BLACK HOLE CAME OUT HE FORGOT HOW TO B R E A T H E) Napoleon is the only reason he eats anything healthy or on any kind of regular schedule s m h. Tl;dr: (Not a lot changes, honestly? He was reclusive then, he still is now--he just has more toys/academic resources. If anything he might get a little too lost in his work because of it, somebody please make sure he’s eating/sleeping/socializing;;;)

Poor Jeanne is SUFFERING. Please release him from this nightmare he is begging. Jk jk, I don’t think it would be too bad for him--but I do think that he would have the aforementioned problem of too many stimuli and too much interaction. I think he would ease into it a little with Mozart’s help; he would just be awkward and wooden until he got the hang of it. Most people just find him quirky in an amusing way, and don’t think too hard about it. I’d wager he’d probably become literate at this point because of the abundance of resources and necessity to read/write (okay but imagine this baby with a little kid workbook iM GONNA CRY!!! TAKE ALL MY CRAYONS JEANNE). 

Can you imagine this mofo at a Starbucks??? Tall and stoic, dark and debonair (EVERYONE IS S W O O N I N G), and he just asks in a light tenor “can I have a mocha with eight shots of expresso” with a completely straight face. “Sir, that could kill you” “Don’t worry, I’ve been dead a long time” And he just moves to wait for his order. 11/10 cryptid I could watch an entire show just about his daily adventures

He works with Napoleon a lot given their similar skillsets. They coach kids at high schools that have fencing teams (it’s really REALLY cute bc if they’re on the younger side, Jeanne will very dramatically lose bc he wants to encourage them and the kids are delighted--but the parents are INCHES from laughing so hard they’re in tears). Otherwise, he mostly takes up gigs as a security worker/bodyguard, only really works for the money. He prefers to spend his time in ways that feel meaningful if he can, so don’t be surprised if you see him in foster homes and in social working spaces. He has an uncanny understanding about him, a kind of silence/patience that doesn’t stifle; it makes the kids/teens calm down in milliseconds. They really listen when he does talk, and he sets good and clear boundaries--he knows how to be firm when it’s required. He gives them the structure and placid grounding they’ve never had, and really pays attention to what’s important to them. Brings them little things he notices; brings flowers to the one that likes to draw, brings CDs (he is bad with technology, but they usually only have access to older/outdated stuff anyway) to the one the one that struggles to write with white noise in the house, brings little plushies to the ones that lose theirs. He’s simple but solid, and he finds a lot of meaning in helping kids overcome the similar kind of struggles he faced.  Tl;dr: (Steep learning curve, but he just sees it as all the same really--just more work to be done with the literacy requirement and adjustment to technology. Will be resistant at first, but when he gets accustomed and starts finding people who are important to him, he wouldn’t want to change anything/go back. But will admit there are some days he just wants to go to the most remote place he can access and just live there for a month with no human interaction whatsoever; people are inefficient and insufferable sometimes)

Mozart’s life honestly doesn’t change much? I feel like he would easily be able to keep composing and continue releasing his work as per usual. Given his quick capacity to schmooze and say what people want to hear when he must, he’d be more than able to network his way into success. I think the only thing he might struggle with now and again is inspiration, given the world operates on a very surface level in the modern era sometimes. Profound insight and depth are not quite as cultivated in many ways, and he can struggle to find something that just sparks motivation/novelty in his mind, makes him start composing at breakneck speed. He reads a lot and watches some TV shows/movies when he’s at really low inspiration levels, the kind of guy that sneers at Game of Thrones--but finds things like BBC’s Sherlock more passable (wants intrigue and complexity, doesn’t much enjoy the sensationalized drivel). When Arthur finds out he loves ATLA he about falls off his seat. “It’s a children’s show.” “Yes it is, with a remarkable level of depth and craftsmanship, what are you trying to say?” He begins to find a kind of rhythm in his composing, and Jeanne and Dazai often drop by with so many crazy stories he finds himself filled with music anyway LMAO Tl;dr: (Same as Isaac, really just keeps doing his thing without being impeded, and he enjoys the luxuries/conveniences of the modern era. Will be slightly resistant at first because of how alien some of the changes are, but will fall into the habits/customs slowly and surely. Fine with it, will whine a bit at the growing pains tho)

Leonardo actually canonically owns a bar, and does that really surprise anyone? He really enjoys the excitement of meeting new people and hearing about their myriad histories, the influx of cultures/languages/experiences. It’s a nice but lowkey place, people stop for a drink, listen to some good music--chat amiably and relax after a long day’s work--before heading out. There are regulars and people that just stop for that single day; tourists, vacationers, so on and so forth.

When asked, many people note a sleek black cat with sharp eyes that led them to the bar... Tl;dr: (Don’t Let the Existential Dread Set-in: The Prequel, adapts well to the modern era because of centuries of experience but also...he’s so tired...somebody please hold him I can’t watch him live like this, lord jesus)

Optimally, I see Comte filling his time with myriad pursuits; ranging from philanthropy, indulging in art/music/theatre (often a benefactor as well), and keeping track of his chirren (they may exist more independently now, but he still worries about them ;-;). Otherwise nothing much changes for him, still goes to galas and fancy gatherings, still enjoys fashion and spoiling people, still seeks to occupy himself with social interaction and care-taking--if he doesn’t have a family of his own. He’s basically just that meme that’s like DON’T LET THE EXISTENTIAL DREAD SET-IN. DON’T LET IT SET-IN!!!!!!!!! Tl;dr: (Not to repeat myself but also Don’t Let the Existential Dread Set-in: The Sequel, literally just desperately trying to fill the void please somebody help him he also just needs to be held fuck’s sake, I’m going to drag him kicking and screaming into happiness--but otherwise has no great trouble adjusting to the modern era. I feel like he would have a more minor form of what Dazai struggles with, maybe a lack of personable connection that he once had; fewer chances to be himself and relax. Also probably worried about the increasing unhappiness and turmoil building in the world in general...)

Napoleon is similar to Comte in that he often checks up on Isaac and Jeanne from time to time, and does the aforementioned fencing lessons with kids. He also takes a lot of basic security positions--for venues, concerts, museums--you name it. He dislikes the idea of sitting behind a desk a lot, so he prefers to do a lot of different things; he even cooks from time to time at the restaurants  that know him very well. One gig he particularly enjoys is battle choreography for movies/theatre! He tends to stay away from anything too historically close to his era of origin, but he has fun coming up with realistic (smaller scale) hand-to-hand combat scenarios and duels. Tl;dr: (This era doesn’t feel like too much of a change. It’s a little more intensive in terms of pace, but he manages to keep up pretty well, it just exhausts him from time to time--and he usually goes on trips or hikes to unwind when he needs to like Jeanne LOL they do not go to their happy place, they go to their high lonesome place).

Shakespeare also continues to do his drama thing, organizes troupes on tons of different levels--from community level to more intense, skilled groups that re-enact his own work. His life doesn’t change all that much beyond a new form of theatre logistics, and he adjusts to the technology fairly easily out of necessity. He’ll stop by Vincent’s place from time to time to show him recordings of his latest shows, but otherwise is almost always on the move. Tl;dr: (So long as he can keep following his greatest passion, he doesn’t really mind the changes in how theatre happens--he doesn’t have any sizable issues with the modern era.)

Ability with technology (phones mostly):

Arthur: more than capable, well-versed, loves to do everything on his phone no prob--maybe lives a little too much on his phone (Vine/TikTok/Youtube can kill his productivity RIP) also yes he has a fidget spinner on his desk, no I will not be taking any constructive criticism at this time

Theo: yes but with a lot of cursing at first, had to do it for work and now looks down on anyone that can’t keep up with him (except for Vincent)

Vincent: knows the basics, taking and sending pictures, writing things in notes for later, texting (tho sending emails is a little harder for him); he does his best but he can be slow. Really really enjoys the paint programs on his iPad for when he’s on public transit, but he starts setting alarms after he gets the hang of it (he’s missed his stops before because of it LMAO)

Leonardo: what kind of stupid question? Man knows how to pick them apart and put ‘em back together for crying out loud, uses it like a pro--comes to him naturally, and he’s the guy that keeps coming up with ways to jailbreak Apple products and thwart their money-grubbing tactics. Catch him playing Minish Cap on his emulator on the way to work, brah

Comte: just vibing, keeps up with the times easily since he’s been doing it for so long, much like Theo uses it to keep in touch with the people around him--he’s the “prefers to call instead of text” sorta guy though, he worries about losing emotional subtleties and he likes to hear people’s voices. Doesn’t do anything special on phones, more just a tool; will read/listen to podcasts/does have emulators (courtesy of Leo) and enjoys playing Pokemon when he’s bored

Jeanne: types one finger at a time, it will take a while--but he’ll get there (deleted all his contacts by accident once and Mozart was just. HOW.) He barely knows how to use a phone, and it’s a steep learning curve for him

Mozart: purely functional when it comes to his phone, refuses to rely on it beyond the necessities that only tech can do (for instance, sending emails or reading articles or uploading compositions) he still writes his music before making more polished digital copies. He will sometimes listen to pieces digitally, but prefers to play them in-person; he feels that a lot of the soul in a piece is lost despite the convenience

Dazai: you absolute fools. you baboons. why would you ever give him this kind of power. it is 3AM and he has been on a wikipedia trail spanning hours, started with Cleopatra being the seventh in her line with that name all the way to cotton candy being called “daddy’s beard” in French. please help him he hasn’t slept in years. Also probably binges anime and manga lbr. He’s the one making vine references every other second, always up to date on the memes^TM

Isaac: also mostly uses it as a tool for research and calculations; it’s a way to keep track of information. He also likes to play background music while he’s working, so he finds the device nice and convenient--plus less having to go around pestering people in-person. he does start to get interested in coding and tinkering with apps/programs eventually, too

Shakespeare: finds it a delightful little contraption, so useful because it lets him jot down ideas as they come to him quickly, and he can edit his texts much more easily with digital interfaces. also likes that performances can be recorded, because now he can analyze his staging more efficiently--it gives him a good sense of what needs to be adjusted, and encourages him to keep streamlining/try new concepts

Napoleon: likes it because he can keep in touch with people more easily, the kind of guy to drop a line before checking on a friend. he really likes to look up recipes and find out more about cooking techniques he’s never encountered before. Isaac starts making an Instagram account just to show Napoleon’s impeccable plating, and Napo gets quite the following without knowing for a while

[delicateikemenmemes]

my non-ikevamp playing friend reacts to the ikevamp guys

basically i asked my bestest bro @smartass-hoot​ to guess the names of the ikevamp guys and give me her impressions of them based on nothing but some memes i made, so here it is:

napoleon

Name: Band kid    

I feel like he’s really relatable and you can vibe with him like hecc     

Straight out of the covers of vogue, this man is an AESTHETIC     

Why does he look like he’s woke as fuck idk      

Does he have, like, weird ass animals for pets?     

He likes his BEAUTY SLEEP PERIODT

mozart

Name: Angel    

The “drunk aunt” squad got his picture framed in the hall of fame      

Is he an airhead who is supposed to be smart but acts really stupid     

Either that or he’s just really passionate about ONE thing     

Multilingual definitely     

IS HE GOOD WITH HORSES (I’m totally not asking this ‘cause he looks like a prince)

leonardo

Name: Daddy     

I have no idea why but he is a daddy     

Either super smart or super duper dumb     

A smooth and suave motherfucker who will swoon you…?     

Stable and rational…? But he probably has one or two dumb habits     

Would like to have deep and philosophical conversations about life I think

arthur (arthot)

Name: Kisumi 2.0 (as in kisumi from free!)  

Flirty boi    

Why do I get the feeling he has ONE braincell at all times

Probably competitive as fuck

Why do I feel like his actual name starts with an S (I was thinking, like, sebastian)     

He’s probably just a nerd who thinks it’s cool to be a “bad boi”

vincent

Name: CINNAMON ROLL     

HE’S LIKE THAT LIBRARY BOI FROM KENSHIN’S ROUTE WHAT’S HIS NAME I FORGOT (she’s referring to mitsunari from ikesen lmao)

Protect him pls     

Best cuddler award     

Don’t let him into the kitchen pls he can and will blow things up    

Probably knows magic tricks

theo

Name: Whom     

A walking talking oxymoron (emphasis on the moron)      

Probably a tsundere (look at that glare, it says it all)     

He is literally so confusing like idk if he’s a “tough bad boi” or an angery hamster     

But he’ll treat you like a princess     

Idk what else to say about him, but, like,,, he’s a nice guy overall (oh honey…)

and when i told her he calls MC a dog:

dazai

Name: Trollmaster dazai

Idk if he’s dazai he just feels like a dazai

The second best ninja (first comes sasuke) 

Is an AGENT OF CHAOS AND MEMES 

Look at that smirk, he looks like he’s planning an elaborate and romantic death

Has a parkour youtube channel that got very popular 'cause he nearly dies all the time

isaac

Name: Bratty Bottom     

Yeah he’s that childish and immature guy who picks fights with you all the time     

Bonus if he tries to get you to see him as a “man"      

Masochist haha also a blushy tsundere     

He probably has the worst luck of them all lmao     

But he’s probably skilled in the most random of things

shakespeare

Name: Yandere (i actually screamed at this bc of THE ACCURACY)  

I would definitely not fuck with him     

Can and will instigate a war for the "lols"     

I’m just really terrified of him is he the yandere route I don’t trust guys with closed eyes (SHE GUESSED IT BASED ON NOTHING BUT HIS FACE BC NONE OF THE MEMES I MADE OF SHAKES HAD ANY INDICATION OF HIS YANDERE SIDE)     

Probably a chaotic evil     

He probably specializes in medieval torture methods kjdsnfksdjfs

jean

Name: Ciel 2.0     

Edgy TM     

Probably has a tragic backstory and a lot of issues     

Has a soft spot for cute animals/things and treasures them a lot     

Does he have horrible communication skills (this is so stereotypical whoops)     

I feel like he’s really artistic tho,, idk why but yeah he’s also probably really smart

comte de saint-germain

Name: Final Boss     

Exactly what the name says      

If smoker boi ain’t daddy then this man is     

He probably has a terrible sense of humor but a really pretty laugh     

eLeGaNCe aNd pOisE but also the mental age of a 6 year old (idk how but yeah)     

He probably drinks wine while eating goldfish (the snack, not the fish)

sebastian

Name: alfred     

He seems polite BUT DON’T TRUST APPEARANCES he fREAKY     

Why does it feel like he gets, like, almost no screentime at all, this poor boi     

Probably has a diary lmao (I SCREAMED SJNFJSNFJK)     

A control freak? Clean freak? All the freak? That’s him     

He’s probably really skilled at cooking, cleaning, and is very helpful in general lmao

our conversation about sebas boy:

conclusion: cybird did a good job with the character designs and i with my memes bc she was SO ON POINT about like 90% of this

[war--lords]

NSFW, Female!Reader

The whole ballroom shines golden, more so when you take into account the partygoers inhabiting it as if they are collectively in defiance of the rainclouds starting to form in the cobalt night. Le Comte, the only reason you are attending this ball commemorating some Duke’s something, is once again being swarmed by many charmed men and women of the high elite, and you’ve taken this opportunity to make a beeline for the food.

An hors d'oeuvre rests delicately between your fingertips as you watch the scene from afar:

Your benefactor, and most recently lover, surrounded by some of Paris’s most important people, men and women alike, some of which you recognize from previous parties. He is the picture of patience, replying with only the amount of words necessary to be polite and sociable at the same time. Having lived a long life as a vampire, he surely has the art of small talk mastered, but it is chiefly his poise and graciousness that attracts these people to him—this much you understand, for you are no different than them.

A lady, young and enchanting, extends a gloved arm to him and he gently kisses the back of her hand. It is a common gesture of the time, but you notice the look in her eyes as she looks down at him.

You know what lies in that gaze. Want.

That same not-so-well-concealed desire lingers even when she stares at him as he stands up straight again, as her plush carmine-dyed lips curl into a pleased, meaningful smile. As Comte speaks, she slowly hooks her arm with his, fingers drawing slow, sensual circles through the fabric of his waistcoat as if coaxing him to please, tell me more. She watches his lips form words.

And when he turns to look at her, he smiles. A pleased, meaningful smile.

You start to feel sick in your throat, chest, and stomach. The first you think to do is look away and take deep breaths, as much as your corset permits. Clearly, your emotions have taken too much control, but it’s too late because you feel jealousy sinking its ugly roots at the bottom of your gut. They were just being friendly, you’re sure. After all, etiquette is of utmost importance in the 19th century.

In your head, another voice replies to you—one that sounds like your own. She is being awfully friendly. The look in her eyes and the curl of her lips enter your mind’s eye again, and you cannot deny the purpose that lies behind them. Beautiful and treacherous she, waiting patiently to lure the Comte with her siren song. That sounds like a lovely story, she would probably say. Please don’t stop there.

God, you sigh, feeling as though you are split into two. You find that you are hating everything, and it has been less than ten minutes since the two of you entered the ball. It is undoubtedly going to be a long night.

A long night, you find yourself imagining the woman whispering that into your lover’s ear as she drapes herself atop him, and you grit your teeth. He has lived a long immortal life, much of which you don’t know about. Surely there were many more before you—women, men, all of them pretty and prim and lusting for him all the same? They must have held whatever place you hold in his life, too. 

You try to shake the thought away. Have you become that overly-possessive, jealous person? You shake your head to yourself. That would be horrendous, and you would hate yourself for it. 

He probably didn’t even notice that you’ve slipped away.

You swallow the doubt down with a flute of champagne, courtesy of a waiter passing by, and you find yourself glancing at the scene again.

The circle of people has significantly reduced in size. They’re laughing together.

At the exact moment you decide to pray to the higher powers to give you the boundless strength you need to get through the ball, a man approaches you, effectively covering the sight of your lover across the room. You recognize the friendly smile he beams at you—he is no stranger, but a son in a family of knightly nobility you have made acquaintance with from the many encounters at various events around the city. He has one flute of champagne in each hand.

“I was going to offer you a drink, Mademoiselle, but I see you’ve gotten a head start.”

You offer him a curtsy and a smile before downing whatever measly amount you have left within your glass, placing it onto a waiter’s empty tray, and taking his in your hand.

“Sir, I can handle one more.”

He guffaws, more than amused, and the two of you fall into a perfectly natural conversation about how life has been—the perfect distraction for your current situation.

You miss a pair of watchful golden eyes from across the room.

He steals glances at you while doing his best to maintain a sociable countenance with boiling blood, still surrounded by three-four people. 

It is testing, even for him, because you seem to be engaging in animated conversation with the heir of the house of Monfort, and he said something to make you laugh. Not the polite laugh you reserve for small talk, but a genuine laugh, one that sends you flashing a grin wide enough you have to cover your mouth with a hand. 

The grip on his glass of champagne is dangerously strong, and the Mademoiselle that is persistently latched to his arm has undoubtedly interpreted the flex of his arm as a result of his forbearing towards her unsubtle physical approach rather than his ever-rising temper aimed at the Monfort heir. You mentioned that the two of you have been talking more regularly at parties lately, largely because you judge that he has no romantic intentions towards you, but Comte knows better.

The noble of Paris are always planning. He might not want to romance you, but Lord on high knows there is a great chance he wants to bed you. Engage you as a companion. Comte closes his eyes, willing negative visualization away from his mind, but to no avail, for he has already pictured you in the man’s arms, blushing at the suggestions he whispers in your ear…

A gargle of laughs snaps him out of his thoughts. He wishes he could close the distance between the two of you, kindly tell the Monfort heir to look for another woman to ‘make conversation with’, and whisk you back to the mansion for a proper lesson to remind you who you belong to. 

Comte quickly realizes that he hasn’t completely outgrown his rashness from his younger days. Taking another sip of champagne, he tastes nothing but the sour of it and decides to wait.

“Is something the matter, cherie?” he asks as soon as the carriage door closes. “You look like something has been bothering you throughout the ball.”

You swallow, quietly cursing his unbelievable insight—or your very easy-to-read countenance—or both. You realize that this is not something you can skirt around, especially with the amount of time you’re taking to come up with an answer, and the coaxing look Comte is giving you clearly means you cannot back away from this. You take a deep breath. 

“Please don’t be upset with me,” you finally say, looking down at both your feet pointing at each other like it is the most interesting thing in the world.

If only you have the courage to look at his face instead, you will find that the placid, peaceful mask he wears at the ball is slowly crumbling. 

“I, well, I’m not sure how to say this,” you begin, “but there was a woman you were talking to. Earlier at the ball. The one with the maroon dress…?”

Realizing where the conversation is going, Le Comte’s gaze darkens, uninhibited feelings beginning to bubble from the pit of his stomach. “Mademoiselle de la Roche. Continue.” 

You are still not looking at him, opting to observe the moving scenery of the city outskirts from the carriage window instead. Even so, you feel the intensity emanating from the person sitting across you. Something about the night sky and the quiet of the outskirts helps you come forth with honesty.

“Well, I thought she was awfully close, and got a little jealous. Not a little,” you quickly correct yourself, smiling sheepishly, “you obviously noticed. I was jealous. I’m sorry, it was childish. I trust you.”

And that is when you meet his eyes, seeing the gold of his iris melted into caramel by his dilated pupils, the way his lips are slightly parted as he looks at you. Your breath hitches in your throat.

The coach lurches forward, and at the same moment, Le Comte uses the momentum to pull you towards him until you are sitting on his lap, chest to chest. You gasp at the sudden sensation of him pressed so tightly against you, and from above the hammering of your rabbit heartbeat, you hear the coachman from the front.

“Terribly sorry, sir! Other carriages are heading into the city, so there’s a bit of a jam here.”

“That’s quite alright,” you hear your lover reply before he quickly draws the curtains. And to you, he whispers. “Keep your voice low.” 

You sigh, because the next thing you know he is kissing your mouth with a different kind of fervor, and his hand snakes up to cup your breast from over your dress. Your hands quickly find their way to his shoulder and into his hair as your body responds to the pleasure—sudden, but not entirely unwelcome. He groans into the kiss, muffling the sound, but from the way his teeth bite your lips and his fingers work the ties of your corset, he is growing impatient.

“You are cruel,” he whispers, moving down to your jaw and neck, “Did you not feel Monsieur Monfort’s gaze on your body? This body,” he says, accentuating his words with tugging the front of your corset, allowing your bare breasts to spill out for his eyes to see. His fingers tease you, pressing and circling your nipple, and you bite your lip so as to not make a sound, too stunned to do more than encourage him by stroking his shoulders.

“You’re so oblivious,” he continues while he litters your neck with deep kisses. “Man wants, my sweet, especially one that already has everything, like him.” 

“He’s just a friend,” you gasp as he bites the top of your breast, lapping at the skin seconds after as if offering consolation.

“And Mademoiselle de la Rouche is nothing but another social climber.”

“Ngh!” 

He finally slips a hard peak into his warm mouth, tongue flicking and toying with it while his hand on its twin mirrors his movements. You melt, all the tension and anger you’ve kept in your blood throughout the ball fading, replaced by an escalating desire. Warmth pools between your spread legs situated on his lap—Comte feels it, and his hand move further south.

“Don’t—”

He stops, unlatching your nipple from his lips to look up at you. The sight knocks the breath out of him.

You’re almost properly topless, save for the remains of the dress hanging helplessly around your frame, your face red and wanton, with parted lips and hooded eyes looking down at him, your naked chest heaving with each hasty intake of air—the very picture of desire. 

“Don’t mention another woman’s name while you’re fucking me.”

Whatever remains of his calm is quickly discarded out the metaphorical window as he kisses you again, this time more desperate than the first, like he can’t get enough of your taste. You moan when you part, and he quickly covers your lips again to muffle the sound, hands on your breast and between your thighs. When met with a hot wetness seeping through your underwear, he smiles into the kiss.

“Then it’s only fair for me to erase all of the traces Monfort has left on you, yes?” He leans down again to pleasure your breast, while his finger insistently presses your clit. You throw your head back, a hand against your mouth and the other in his hair, quietly begging him for more. He laps and sucks and nips in a way that is best described as a man starved. His hand slips under your dress, stroking your thigh and playing with the garter, teasing, making you anticipate. The other is still on your clit, relishing the wetness that you’re coated in. His breath is hot on your chest, and even with your eyes closed, you know he’s looking at your face. He always does.

“That man’s eyes were all over you, cherie, did you even notice?” He asks, panting, admiring the work he’s done on your now flushed breast. Moving to the other, he begins again, this time with his fingers pushing your panties aside and sinking into your heat. You let out a ragged breath against your knuckles, willing your voice to never escape your lips, else the coachman finds out. Comte lets out a sigh amidst his ministrations, enjoying the softness of your flesh against his mouth.

“I’m sure he’s fantasized about this,” he says, and the quality of his voice makes it sound like he’s in a daydream, “about taking you home and having his way with you.” You whine at the sensation of a third finger being added into the foray, and the little control you have over your body and mind is now close to snapping.

“I’m a man who has everything, too,” he sighs your name and you resort to gripping the lapels of his coat as the pressure on the bundle of sensitive nerve grows, “and I want more of you, cherie. Come.”

And you do, breaking down silently into a mess from his fingers alone, inside a carriage taking you home. Your lips form mainly his name and other nonsense like oh god and yes while your body quivers at the impact of your orgasm. He watches with glazed eyes, drinking in the scenery that is making his mouth water, his appetite far from whetted. Comte strokes your cheek, waiting for you to come down from your high, observing your breath slowing down. 

The first thing you do when you open your eyes is to search for the buckle of his belt. You work on undoing it with urgency, your eyes glinting still with a desire that reflects his, and when he sees you licking your lips and kneeling at the sight of his erect member, he nearly loses his mind.

“Sweetheart—”

“I want it,” you cut him off before he stops you, gently pumping him with your hand. “I want to give you pleasure too, you know,” is the last thing you say before taking the tip of him in your mouth. Le Comte’s hands fly to your hair, uncaring of the mess his fingers make by combing through them, and his head is thrown back, eyes locked on the scene unfolding before him. Every time with you reduces him into a helpless, desperate, hungry man that only wants one thing. 

Your lips are slick with his precum, and when you look up at him and chuckle, your breath on him racks shivers up his spine. He watches as he sinks into you again, in and out, your hands caressing where you don’t reach with your mouth. He can’t take his eyes off of you, and with the knot in his stomach ever-tensing, he quietly calls your name like a mantra.

“Stop,” he finally says, feeling too close to release, and you immediately do as you’re told, looking up at him with concern. He resists the urge to groan at the absence of pleasure, but he manages to whisper to you.

“I want to come inside you.”

“Comte—” you sigh as he coaxes you off your knees and on his lap again, this time with the hardness of him pressed against your very core. Before long you’re panting, because he’s brought your hand up in his, kissing your gloved fingers as his other hand slips your panties to the side, allowing him to enter slowly. Your lips fall open at the sensation, and he hurriedly kisses you, unable to quiet his voice at the feel of you around him.

“Ma cherie,” he breathes, “as much as you’re mine, I’m yours.”

He begins thrusting and you gasp, because the carriage is suddenly moving again, at first slowly, but then gradually becoming faster. With each bump of the wheels against cobblestone, it rocks, pushing him deeper into you, and you no longer have the control to govern over the sounds coming out of your mouth.

“Ah, ah, ah—”

Comte presses a kiss on your throat before sinking his fangs, a catalyst to the most pleasure the two of you have ever felt in a lifetime. He relishes the taste of you, and the impossibly wet tightness encapsulating him like a velvet glove. You whisper his name, slave to the sensation coursing through your veins, body growing mad with wanting more. He pulses inside you, and knowing that he’s close, presses a finger against your clit and pulls you into a kiss.

Your hands on his chest stay still as you come undone a second time, the first of the night for him, the moans you both spill barely quieted by the kiss. You’re left weak and satisfied, but only until you see the look on his face when you open your eyes. Comte presses his lips against yours one last time as the carriage slows down into a stop. He hooks his arm under your knees, ready to carry you upstairs despite your unkempt state. You let out a small laugh in defeat, hiding your bare chest by pressing yourself as close to him as possible.

Right before the coachman opens the door, he leans down to whisper to you, a scandalous smirk on his lips.

“We’re not done yet.”

[whiteswanco]

NSFW WARNING 😳🔥

I can't help making horny edits from the new CN karmas 😳 feel free to use any of you o great writers @voltagesmutter @thatfanfictionchick @op-peccatori @otonymous @truth-be-told-im-lying @stehkotori

Arrest me now to horny jail 😳🔥