the Sky Fell Down

[cheshireeprincess]

[sunnypeachyy]

blessing your dash today

[thisfeebleheart]

swaying and playing

[deliciousblizzardshark]

Shane writes hockey romance* novels in his spare time and publishes them under a pseudonym (John Dutch) and no one knows except his agent.

A wag somewhere picks one up and discovers the hockey is really accurate and well written from a technical perspective (plus it’s super hot) and convinces her boyfriend or husband or whatever to read it and then somehow it becomes popular among hockey players as a thing that’s kind of a gag but people are also seriously reading it.

Ilya is extremely confused that CLIFF is trying to convince him to read a book but figures he’ll give it a try. Fifty pages in, reading the book on the plane, he suddenly realizes he recognizes the sex scene.

He never says anything to Shane, but starts casually leaving Shane’s books lying around for Shane to notice during their hook-ups.

*i was going to go with ‘gay hockey romance novels’ but then realized cishet hockey romance novels would be objectively funnier

[thisfeebleheart]

crotch hug my beloved <3

[ottawalockerroom]

“So, the Casanova account executive is being held hostage in the IT department by his handsome socially awkward boyfriend?” 🍋

Consummate Professionals and the Zest-Check Protocol

https://archiveofourown.org/works/84853721

Ilya Rozanov is the least invested Junior Accounts Executive at Vasilevsky Solutions, mostly because he’s more interested in Montreal steakhouses and men who look good in tailored suits than he is in SaaS. But Shane Hollander, Metropolitan Health’s Director of Security and a man whose LinkedIn profile picture is too pretty to resist, makes Ilya decide to pivot his sales strategy.

Ilya came for the conquest and commission. He stays because Shane Hollander is a zero-day vulnerability he doesn't need to patch.

[girls4losers]

i gotta remember this

[lurkerdelima]

Shane & Ilya hanging out with Skip for unspecified reasons and the first time Kip teasingly says “girl!” to him about something, Shane just makes this face

[jimmysownworld]

cliff marleau and ilya rozanov are best friends not because they’re teammates or marleau was assigned to look after roz when he first got to the raiders, but because, even though it takes so much alcohol to get him drunk, when ilya gets drunk he can only be described as white girl wasted and marly is the EXACT same way. they are in the mens bathroom in front of the mirror like “is my shirt unbuttoned enough for people to look at my tits?” “yeah man your boobs look GREAT! can you tell me if these jeans look good on my ass i think i saw a girl eying me” “marly your ass looks phenomenal and you can trust me on this as i am a well known ass man” “aw man rozzy you’re making me blush”

[gimmiekiss1221]

he's trying to be loyal to me not roku city

[ottawalockerroom]

I’m definitely sick and my littlest child was sick all day, so I told my husband after dinner I’m just going to sit in the bath and read smut. And he said go for it.

The tubs filling now and I can definitely hear my older sons being chaotic down the hall, but this is good.

Also, Ilya sucks at being sick. Because he feels awful and he’s so needy, and he begs all day for more hugs and cuddles and kisses, but also the sight of sweet, nurturing Shane makes him rock hard. So as Shane’s flitting around around the room trying to make everything comfortable and soft, adjusting the shades and fluffing the pillows, taking out extra blankets and pillows to cocoon themselves in, Ilya is absolutely pitching a tent in the sheets.

And when Shane goes to hand him the remote, Ilya reaches for it with his left hand which is weird until he looks down to see the undeniable thrusting motions of Ilya’s right fist under the covers. Shane rolls his eyes.

“What? This helps. You don’t don’t want me to feel better?”

Is this how you tumblr

[poetrylesbian]

ilyorm and his boyfriend shorm 🪱🥰

[ottawalockerroom]

for mothers day, my sweet doll of a husband remembered I said I was jealous of Hudson’s little theragun and got me one. And also had me absolutely wrecked for him before 9am.

so now I really need to step my game up for Father’s Day.

[ottawalockerroom]

This man stayed ready, so he never had to get ready and for that I am so thankful.

[galecstatic]

appreciation post of that piece of cake for his birthday today

[firstprinced]

[ottawalockerroom]

Shane Hollanders breasts are so important

[connorstorriegifs]

Connor Storrie | Criminal Minds: Evolution S19 Trailer