Bisexual Fairytale Master

Chelsea 30- Grand Junction, CO - PMHNP - 4 kids, and a farm - she/her

[evilvarric666-archive]

"Weird energy in here today" I say, referring to the inside of my brain.

[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

buying peaches is so stressful because you have to consume them so quickly…it’s like the moment the cashier types in that number the alpha peach turns to its brothers in the bags and says “alright listen up boys, it’s time to remember your training. i want to see immense bruising by sundown. i want to see you near inedible by sunrise. remember it is better to die a free man than to be eaten.” you gotta wolf down all of your peaches at the check out counter while the trader joe’s employees eagerly look at the Peach Consumption Countdown Clock and cheer you on. these peaches have sensors on them that can tell when they come into contact with human hands so they can begin their self-destruct sequence like you’re in a spy movie and the peach just relayed a message to you about the whereabouts of jimmy hoffa’s decayed remains

[who-calls-the-fleet-deactivated]

Jimmy Hoffa is likely dead

[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

this response carries so much chaotic cursed energy. jimmy hoffa was declared dead in 1982 after disappearing in 1975. he was born in 1913, meaning he would be the miraculous age of 105 today if he wasn’t dead. “likely dead.” the fact that it’s a hetalia blog trying to tell me that he is likely dead. the fact that i specifically mention his decayed corpse in my post so there is literally no reason for someone to alert me that he is “likely” deceased. the fact that this hetalia blog is trying to tell this to me, a person who up until recently literally worked for the international brotherhood of teamsters as a person in charge of handling their historical records. i spent two years of my life answering phone calls from people asking me if i personally knew what happened to jimmy hoffa’s body. ive spent a significantly longer amount of time trying to forget that hetalia exists. my entire career as a hetalia facebook roleplayer at the age of 11 just flashed through my eyes. i legitimately cannot express how much this response has effected me. ive been staring at it for 7 minutes. i feel like ive entered the twilight zone

[who-calls-the-fleet-deactivated]

I don’t ever remember writing that, when did I write that

[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

everything about this is cursed

[andhumanslovedstories]

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

[beauty-in-healing-deactivated20]

this is the funniest thing i have ever read

[fyeahmovies]

The Iron Giant (1999) dir. Brad Bird

[prometheusascendant]

putting up “HELL IS FAKE” billboards in ohio to start a dialogue

[zwoelffarben]

putting up “OHIO IS HELL” billboards in ohio to continue the dialogue

[huffylemon]

he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

[boy-and-girl-crazy123456]

no this counts i think

[crawly]

The everest chronicles

[crawly]

[officiallordvetinari]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Nice 1977 Tudor style home just dropped in Austin, Texas and judging by some of the decor the owner is a horror movie enthusiast. ($1,595M)

So, there’s a great room with a balcony, but the floor really makes the Tudor details pop.

Purple and black family room with cool carpeting. 

The same carpet is in the home office, which I think may have been meant to be a bedroom. 

Here’s a game room.

Bathroom is so 70s and needs some updating.

The kitchen is also typically 70s and still has the original cook top and ovens. 

The dining room opens to the patio.

There’s a sitting area at the top of the stairs with a view of the great room. 

The main bdm, dressing room/closet, and en suite.

All 4 bdms have a bath and some of them have roof top terraces.

Pool and covered patio.

https://www.redfin.com/TX/Austin/6200-Shadow-Mountain-Dr-78731/home/31269784

[15minutesoffame]

70s aesthetic fits the horror theme perfectly

[smllscallywag]

reblog if the first musical you listened to was not Hamilton

[wormliness]

please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)

[amateur]

[theropoda-deactivated20211210]

[spectrometrie]

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

[spectrometrie]

i didn't need no imaginary friends i had Screaming Joe right here !

[omgeddon-deactivated20260424]

I love this website I love it when people tell us what's wrong with them

[semislutera-deactivated20230303]

Yes he does the cooking yes he does the cleaning

[funnytwittertweets]

[o-kurwa]

[actionpackedjackson]

Booty shorts that say this

[officialarcee]

The people have SPOKEN