well howdy
isn't this a trip? i don't know that any of my old mutuals or past followers still use tumblr/will see this post but if it's one of you, heyyyy
i am definitely not making a comeback, i made a conscious decision to leave tumblr when i graduated 6 years ago, and im sticking to that, thank you very much. but i was talking to someone the other day about my time growing up online, my formative years (and beyond, tbh) as a pick-me, etc. etc., and i realized i hadn't gone back to look at old posts of mine in a long, long time. and then i got to wondering like, what if i have messages sitting for me in my inbox? what mysteries do they hold? just lots of spam messages, it turns out.
anyway, here i am. i also often talk to people about how even new college graduate emily would probably never believe where i've ended up, and also i've been in the mood to journal/write lately so this is a delving back into that.
so, hi. my name is emily - that much has not changed. and i won't spend too much time explaining all the details of what has happened - we know i am wordy and that would take so very long - but i still have a lot to share.
let's see...where to begin.
i did continue seeing a therapist after graduation. and thank GOD because i've learned so, so much about myself. i'm still in therapy!! but we think i can maybe be done, at least for a while, pretty soon.
after i graduated, i ended up getting that job i was nervous about interviewing for. i was taking care of future service dogs for about three years, and i did eventually get a puppy to raise. her name is napa and she did not graduate and that was really hard on me. she lives with someone i worked with there and when i go home to visit family, i visit her, too.
i got napa in 2019 (yeah, way later than i anticipated...) and then toward the end of that year i got my first boyfriend. if i had still been using tumblr back then y'all would have been so SICK OF ME.
my relationship with him taught me a lot. a lot of very important lessons on what i did NOT want in a partner, dear lord. after we'd been dating about a year, i got a job training the future service dogs at the texas campus so i broke up with him and moved. i had broken up with him two times before that and obviously, both times i ran right back, so moving to texas was a great way to finally cut him away for good.
that first year and a half or so that i was living here i dated like crazy and had a delayed rebellious phase, i suppose. living away from home fit different and hit hard. i wasn't homesick and i just wanted to do all the things. again, if i had still been using tumblr during my unhinged dating era.......yikes.
after about two years of dog training, through a lot of conversations with my therapist and friends and a lot of self-reflection, i realized i was not really cut out to train service dogs. my dream job wasn't very dreamy. TLDR; i quit.
about six months before i quit, i met collin. more on that later.
i stayed in non-profit work for another year at a super shitty job, went through a big depressive episode for that year, and then decided HEY i should go back to school
so, here we are.
i married collin (twice, technically - we eloped in 2024 and then had our wedding a couple of months ago), started working at trader joe's, and just finished my first year of graduate school. im going to be a librarian. like, so long as the public library still exists with funding in two years when im finished....
but yeah, you read that correctly - I AM MARRIED, which is so fucking crazy. i swear now. pretty much as soon as i moved into my first texas apartment i decided to give it a try and now i can't stop.
i sing in a choir now but i still have my trumpet, just in case. i still go to church but my faith looks a whole lot different than it did 6 years ago. i read frequently and am in a book club, i cross stitch (it was my pandemic hobby) and enter the state fair every year, i still am obsessed with the x files and am now obsessed with godzilla. collin and i can't wait to move out of texas - we're hoping to end up in washington state - but it'll be a few years yet.
he is amazing. perfect. i love being married.
also, definitely did not turn out asexual.
so yeah. if you're an old friend reading this, hi. i've more than likely thought about you some time in the last 6 years.
