queercrip cat connoisseur

Oliver. 22. They/Them. My hobbies are running over the feet of ableists with my wheelchair, meowing at cats I see out the car window, and wearing all black.

[headspace-hotel]

It has happened.

I have purchased Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus

Will provide updates

[headspace-hotel]

IT’S HERE

[headspace-hotel]

I’m going to start it pretty soon. I’m for some reason locked out of my student account and email and IT was no help as usual, so what is there to do except read a parody romance novel written specifically to spite J.K. Rowling?

Chuck Tingle has more or less become a meme because of his bizarre titles and covers and because of the Hugo fiasco, but I’ve heard relatively little about what it’s like to actually read his work and I frankly have no idea what to expect or if I should go into this with expectations at all

[headspace-hotel]

This book is...surprisingly easy to take seriously as a book. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. But it’s like. A Book and not just an extended joke. Like on some level it’s not particularly terribly written nor does the plot like, completely exist in service to the...whatever humor is derived from the self-aware absurdity of the premise

[headspace-hotel]

AFSGFBCHH??

I love that he’s not even described as a humanoid dinosaur. He’s just sexy goth tattooed Severus snape and he’s also a parasaurolophus and we are left to just figure it out

[headspace-hotel]

I have to talk about what is going on with the worldbuilding. Like this is a parody. Of Harry Potter. But there’s an entirely different magic system and....everything???

In summary

there doesn’t appear to be a statute of secrecy type thing magic is just fully integrated with the modern world and modern technology

Harriet is a wizard, but that means that she creates spells by typing them out in long manuscripts, which on one level is a nod to the book publishing industry but on another level is kind of interesting in of itself

there’s a??? spellcasting industry??

there are different types of magic users other than wizards, and they appear to be based on the d&d classes

or at least, bards exist and they are distinct from wizard

the dinosaur is a bard

Bigfeet exist and they are integrated with modern society

there are sentient motorcycles and no one finds this in any way unusual

THE DINOSAUR IS A BARD?!?!?!

[headspace-hotel]

...Warlocks in this world get their powers from a pact with Chuck Tingle

[headspace-hotel]

The fourth wall break is killing me.

[headspace-hotel]

The sexy dinosaur is also trans

[headspace-hotel]

As much as I love skillfully crafted satire that takes deft jabs at the flaws of the thing it’s lampooning, there’s also something charming about how every character in this book has a name blatantly and hilariously derived from a Harry Potter character regardless of how most of their roles in the story barely resemble anything like characters in Harry Potter.

...You know, I’m not even sure Chuck Tingle has read Harry Potter.

[headspace-hotel]

I’m back to reading. Does chocolate milk have intoxicating effects on sentient motorcycles??

...sentences I never thought I’d write

[headspace-hotel]

um im lowkey getting feels from this like there are some genuinely emotionally resonant bits in here what the fuck

[headspace-hotel]

chuck tingle’s magic system is unironically better than jk Rowling’s I’m sorry

[headspace-hotel]

I’m so sorry to sample the sex scene but. “sexualis secondus” just killed me. I have been pronounced dead by this book. im obliterated this is indescribable

[headspace-hotel]

I.

I literally have no idea how to describe what I’m experiencing right now. Like this is a somewhat poorly edited parody adult dinosaur romance novel but. It’s genuinely?? Creative?? In a lot of ways???? And there’s a lot of heart to it, a lot of genuine powerful messages about identity and about art and creativity and the fourth-wall-breaking device is...I can’t explain it because that would spoil it but it’s actually pulled off so well?????

This is not like, a humorous joke story this guy did for Being a Little Shit and Spite reasons, it’s like actually in its themes and message a genuine “fuck you” to j.k. Rowling’s transphobia even though it’s this absolutely wild janky batshit story and I have never experienced anything like this in my LIFE

I did not expect my adhd little heart to be touched by understanding of my fears about creativity and writing and its place in my life. Not like this. What the fuck. What the fuck.

[headspace-hotel]

FGDHXWGBKVGSSHBIIDQTVJKBSZVYSTVJKJVBXSGHXHVN

[teaboot]

just once in my life i wanna get up in the morning without going through the full seven stages of grief first

[troubled-little-loner]

What are the extra two?

[teaboot]

Denial 2 and Astral Projection

[shitty-car-mods-daily]

1) No one needs mud flaps of this size and 2) Ask about mud, me my flaps?

[thefolliesgeorges]

Me my flaps.

[marisatomay]

my brother has been criticizing me all day and he told me if i wasn’t happy i could go somewhere else so i wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s dinner so i took the massive bowl of pasta + special sauce i spent the last 2 hours making from scratch for the whole family and i left

[marisatomay]

it really is incredibly bold to mercilessly criticize the person who is not only making your dinner but also holding a knife

[marisatomay]

I sequestered myself in the other side of the house and ate my family-sized pasta from a mixing bowl using a serving spoon in the dark because the sun went down in the 2+ hours I spent stewing and I was too stubborn to turn on a light

[marisatomay]

the only person I shared my pasta with was my dad who on a conference call at the time and didn’t just stand there and watch my brother be an asshole like the rest of my family and since he came to me in my sanctuary with his bowl and asked nicely if he could have some pasta i did share with him

[marisatomay]

sometimes you’re an adult who has been quarantined with your parents, younger siblings, grandfather, and dog for the last 2 months because of a global pandemic and some nights you just have to take your pasta and Leave because you are an adult who knows when to tap the fuck out

[rivkahstudies]

OP thank you not only for the amazing image of you eating pasta in the dark and your father kindly pleading for your mercy but also a wonderful example of when to set firm boundaries and prioritize yourself bless u

[ladysparklefists]

idk I just love how we Young People Today use ~improper~ punctuation/grammar in actually really defined ways to express tone without having to explicitly state tone like that’s just really fucking cool, like

no    =    “No,” she said. 

no.    =    "No,” she said sharply.

No    =    “No,” she stated firmly.

No.    =    “No,” she snapped.

NO    =    “No!” she shouted.

noooooo    =    “No,” she moaned.

no~    =    “No,” she said with a drawn-out sing-song.

~no~    =    “No,” she drawled sarcastically.

NOOOOO    =    “No!” she screamed dramatically.

no?!    =    “No,” she said incredulously.

[allthingslinguistic]

I’ve been calling this “typographical nuance” and I have a few more to add: 

*no* = “No,” she said emphatically. 

*nopes on out of here* = “No,” she said of herself in the third person, with a touch of humorous emphasis.

~*~noooo~*~ = “No,” she moaned in stylized pseudo-desperation.

#no = “No,” she added as a side comment.

“no” = “No,” she scare-quoted.

wtf are you kidding no = “No,” she said flatly. “And I can’t believe I have to say this.”

no no No No NO NO NO NO = "No,” she repeated over and over again, growing louder and more emphatic. 

nooOOOO = “No,” she said, starting out quietly and turning into a scream.

*no = “Oops, I meant ‘no,’” she corrected, “Sorry for the typo in my previous message.”

[commonplacefolklore]

I cannot express how strongly I absolutely love language and writing and communication but if anyone asks why I will be showing them this post from now on

[stevetomjohn]

this is great, but I got to “no no No No NO NO NO NO” and immediately started singing “mamma mia, mamma mia, mamma mia let me go”

[headjudgelen]

no no no nO (no no no)= “No,” she said, sticking to the status quo

[bibliotheksbewohnerin]

things that still freak me out: those sinks americans have in their kitchens that you can destroy stuff with

[strangemercy1-deactivated202103]

I’ve seen this post multiple times today, and let me just say, I’ve never before had to consider that garbage disposals aren’t a standard sink feature around the world

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

Pets love eating meat flavored cereal with no milk

[305xdisaster-deactivated2021102]

Dog food doesn't taste like meat tbh

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

its not for you king

[spacemancharisma]

my psychology professor be like “I don’t believe in nonbinary genders” and five minutes later refers to me as he, then she, then just by my name because it’s become increasingly clear that neither of those are correct even though I am not out in this class

[spacemancharisma]

dr [redacted]: I don’t believe in nonbinary genders

dr [redacted]: except for that fucker I have no idea what they’ve got going on

[moaccyrk]

When your nb power level is so high that other people’s perception of reality start to malfunction.

[yeoldenews]

A sincere request from someone who has spent her entire adult life wishing people had kept better records…

In the coming weeks and months… RECORD WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Start a journal, take photos, keep a video diary, make a daily blog post, jot a few notes down in a day planner, whatever!

It is not very often that you can be certain that you’re living in a time that historians will study in detail.

The nightly news can tell us the facts, twitter can tell us the larger cultural trends, but no one can keep an accurate record of your daily life and honest thoughts during this crisis but you.

Are you scared to death? Write it down.

Are you still thinking this is being blown out of proportion? Write it down.

Are you still being forced to work and are pissed as hell about it? Write it down.

Did you see someone do something kind that made you smile? Write it down.

Is your grocery store completely out of toilet paper? Take a picture.

Is your normally bustling neighborhood eerily empty? Take a video.

Did you see a really funny plague joke on twitter? Write it down so you/your grandkids and/or future historians can have a laugh.

I have never successfully kept a journal in my entire life, but I’ve been keeping one since the 10th. Nothing fancy. Just a summary of my day in quarantine, what my family’s up to, today’s news and my current thoughts.

Even if it’s only for you to look back on this time honestly, without the bias of hindsight, you won’t regret doing it.

Future historians will thank you.

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

2020 i trust you bitch

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

ok fuck you

[hyrude]

my sister thought bdsm was a myers-briggs personality type and i havent stopped thinking about it since she told me

[gestopft-deactivated20200103]

is this what the kids are listening to these days?

[stevedusa]

Took me a while to identify what in the world the other brass was till I realized it wasn’t.

[beelzibubbles]

Someone even transcribed it!

[abkvs]

jesus god someone transcribed this i can’t believe it

(for those of u who are new to my house: my cousin is the one playing the chair)

[elodieunderglass]

Transcript for the hearing impaired:

TOOT scoot scoot TOOT scoot scoot

[whispycayenne]

I love this so much

[andreablog2-deactivated20220425]

La croix white claw kombumcha kratom lean cold brew grey goose tulsi gabbord industrial complex

[temencmoth]

we didnt start the fire

[gwapg1rl]

New year, new me!!!!!! *Burns off finger prints*

[webofstarwars]

Parallels between Spaceballs and The Last Jedi.

[burn-4u]

“It’s like poetry, it rhymes.”

[clayjokes]

The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

[idgah]

foods that will poison cats:

alcohol 

chocolate

caffeine

dairy products (adults turn lactose intolerant)

fat trimmings, raw meat, eggs, fish

grapes and raisins

onions and garlic

tuna (when not made for cats)

xylitol (artificial sweetener)

if you have a cat please reblog this

[flightless-moth]

Even if you don’t have a cat please reblog this for all your followers who may have their own precious little baby.

[hiyouhumans-deactivated20180717]

I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT TUNA OMFG

[sjwshitcunt]

If I remember rightly it’s the trace elements of mercury in canned tuna that is toxic to them. Their kidneys can’t filter it out like human kidneys can.

[ghirahim]

ok im gonna break this down a bit because some of these are BLATANTLY untrue and it kills me every time i see this.

alcohol: not very good for humans, either, but alcohol effects pets the same way it effects humans: targeting the brain and the liver. the issue? it takes way less to kill your cat than it does a human. you weigh, on average, at least 100 pounds (or 10x) more than your cat does. 3 teaspoons of liquour could kill your cat. don’t do it. alcohol WILL poison your cat.

chocolate:  theobromine (and to a lesser degree, caffeine) is the issue with this one. humans? we can break this down in our bodies. cats, dogs, birds, ferrets? they can’t. it usually takes a pretty big amount of theobromine to cause a pet to actually die, though. it’s present in cocoa, so the higher % of cocoa in a chocolate, the less needs to be ingested to cause serious, life-threatening effects. baking chocolate has a high concentration of theobromine and 1 square can kill a cat or small dog. white chocolate is a low risk, on the other hand. chocolate CAN poison your cat, especially DARK and BAKING chocolate.

caffeine: same story as alcohol: not that great for humans either, causes similar effects as in humans… just quicker and with less caffeine ingested. elevated heartrate, seizures, etc. can be seen. dogs and cats are more sensitive to the effects than humans are. caffeine WILL poison your cat.

dairy: cats are lactose intolerant and so their bodies cannot properly break it down– much like how we can break down theobromine and cats/dogs can’t. however, it’s not going to poison your cat, just give them diarrhea and other gastrointestinal upset. dairy WILL NOT poison your cat, but will cause gastrointestinal upset and diarrhea, so it is strongly recommended to not give dairy products to your pets.

fat trimmings: fat trimmings are just fat. if you feed fat to your cats, they will become fat and/or it will increase the level of lipids in the blood, leading to diseases and complications like chronic pancreatitis, which can be fatal. fat trimmings WILL NOT poison your cat, but will lead to disease that can be fatal, so it is strongly recommended to not feed fat trimmings to any pets.

raw meat: cats can eat raw meat. cats are obligate carnivores. cats are designed to only eat meat, and raw meat is not of serious risk to them. disease carried in raw meat? not a problem when you are a cat who has evolved over millions of years to eat raw meat. i hate hearing “cats can’t eat raw meat!” from people with outdoor cats. you realise your cats are eating raw lizard and bird, right? raw meat has more nutrients than cooked meat (which we eat veggies & fruits to compensate for– cats can’t digest these) and, obviously, there are some diseases and bacteria that cats aren’t immune to but cats are less likely to eat rotten meat than dogs are, anyway. treat the meat like you treat human meat and it’s totally fine. cats are DESIGNED TO EAT AND DIGEST RAW MEAT! IT’S PERFECTLY FINE TO FEED YOUR CAT RAW MEAT, but make sure that the meat is in-date and properly stored/cared for. rotten or spoiled meat CAN lead to disease and poisoning, but the same goes for 90% of the animal population!

eggs: its ok to feed your cat eggs. im not even sure why this is a question. raw eggs rarely carry salmonella and even humans rarely contract salmonella from infected eggs. your average cat will never contract salmonella from raw eggs, only in an immuno-compromised cat would this ever be an issue. cats can safely eat raw and cooked eggs, as salmonella is pretty much only a concern in an immuno-compromised cat in the first place.

fish: see raw meat above. fish, however, is a bit of an exception because of higher levels of mercury & low levels of taurine and differing balances of phosphate and calcium mean that it’s not a sustainable diet for cats and could lead to mercury poisoning or bone disease if it is the only protein given. when given ~1 time a week and with varied proteins there is no issue. again, cats are DESIGNED TO EAT AND DIGEST FISH AND OTHER MEATS! however, previous warnings about storing fish correctly still applies, and proteins should be varied due to fish having different levels of phosphorous, calcium, and taurine and mercury content. a primary diet of fish CAN lead to bone disease or mercury poisoning in extreme cases.

grapes and raisins: admittedly, this one is a bit of a wild card. some pets eat raisins/grapes without an issue, but in others, these can cause renal failure and death rapidly. we still don’t know why. animals with prior kidney issues are more likely to be effected by grape/raisin toxicity, and cats are more likely to have kidney issues due to many cats not getting adequate moisture in their diet. grapes and raisins MAY lead to poisoning in some cats and dogs, especially those with pre-existing kidney conditions. 

onions and garlic: yes! all members of the allium genus (shallots, scallions, leeks, etc. are included) contain thiosulphate which, when ingested by cats and dogs, can lead to a serious condition in the blood known as hemolytic anemia. basically: their red blood cells burst. this can be fatal and a small amount of onion/garlic/etc. is needed to cause clinically significant issues. onions, garlic, and other members of the allium genus CAN and WILL poison your pet in even small amounts.

tuna: see fish above. canned tuna tends to be soaked in oil which leads to the same issues as fat trimmings in increasing lipid count in the blood. sashimi quality tuna will also have higher concentration of mercury and shouldn’t be consumed more than occasionally in the cat’s diet. canned tuna in oil is often too fatty and leads to the same issues as eating fat trimmings, however, tuna steak/sashimi/etc. quality tuna is the same as other fish: occasional inclusion in the diet is fine!

xylitol: relatively small quantities of this (an artificial sweetener) will cause a sudden drop in blood sugar in dogs, which can lead to comas, seizures, or death. many times, if they are not rushed to the hospital immediately, they will die, and even then, they may suffer permanent liver damage. however… cats are not adversely affected, and typically aren’t attracted to foods w/xylitol in it in the first place. xylitol is NOT likely to poison your cat, but small amounts can KILL your dog, moreso than chocolate! 

[hazelwander]

This is an important thing and you should read it.

[considerthemushrooms]

The corrected information will save lives and time. 

[triplicate3]

The corrected info! Read that.

[ouijakittyy]

Also, a little bit of unflavored yogurt is a good treat for cats