Living with a chronic disease means that every day is a struggle. I can get used to that pain. The constant, always there kind of pain. You almost get to where you can block it out. Being distracted helps. The flare ups are what is not controllable. I haven't had a severe flare up since I had my growths removed in April. I almost forgot how bad this pain was. I feel as if someone is stabbing my stomach with a sharp knife. I feel my heart beat in the pain. It feels like I am not in control. I am shaking. I am crying. I just want it to go away. Do you know what it feels like literally want to scream but not have the energy because the pain is too much? To be in the fetal position, literally in a ball crying. All because why? My doctor changed my medications.
I thought this was going to be good for me. I thought you know best. I think I'm turning the pain into anger. I'm a complete mess.
