Our Polyamorous Experiences

Call me Sinastre || he/xe/it || feel free to send in asks and submissions of your polyamorous experiences!!

[our-polyamorous-experience]

Our Polyamorous Experiences Intro Post!

Hi!! I'm Sinastre and I use he/xe/it pronouns.

This blog was inspired by @our-pansexual-experience @our-transhet-experience @our-xenogender-experience and @our-queer-experience, as well as many others!

This is a place for polyamorous people to share their experiences!

I will sometimes respond to asks with just a . and the tag #i don't have the energy to think up real responses right now but this has been sitting in my inbox long enough, and that usually just means im going to bed soon and too tired to actually respond but I'm clearing out my inbox, and I'll try to go back with a reblog to those posts and give a proper answer within a few days! Don't be offended or discouraged by my lack of response, I'm just tired!!

[nitronine]

Listen I also think it’s very important to preserve the more deviant and less “palatable” parts of being queer— cruising culture, bdsm & other kink, adult-only spaces like gay bars, etc— but I feel like the contempt some of y’all have for “Steven universe gays” has nothing to do with that and everything to do with the desire to bully someone

[nitronine]

Like I dunno. Maybe if you see a sort of “cringe” post that’s been badly worded about a queer experience you don’t personally find fulfilling you should just scroll and move on. Maybe you shouldn’t be publicly ridiculing them in the name of “haterism”. Yes, even if you crop their URL out of the screenshot.

[our-polyamorous-experience]

I’m aromantic and non partnering but I’m super affectionate with my friends who are cool with it and I remember being like in middle school and polyamory was brought up and I had thought about it before but whenever I did it sort of confused me and made me think but then I’d just be holding and kissing my friends and that’s what I already want to do so lowkey thank you polyamory for helping me figure ut out

also I remember my whole excuse why I couldn’t be poly was because I wouldn’t have enough mouths to kiss everyone at the same time or enough hands to hold their hands at the same time if there were more then two😭 and like that genuinely upset me because I like HAD to hold and kiss EVERYONE at the same time it’s like such a big deal(I didn’t realize you could cuddle more then one person at a time I was very small and confused in middle school and just school in general) and because it upset me so much I stopped thinking about it and going down that train of thought so I like prolonged realizing I was Aro for years because I stopped questioning because my entire dilemma was what if I can’t hold everyone at the same time then what’s even the point

anyway I ended up talking to other kids about if they were poly or not and got hit with the entire like oh but that would make me JEALOUS it can only be me they’re mine only I can love them etc etc and I was so fucking confused like but you love your friends? Your family do you not love me??? I’m your friend!!!! Do you not like me🥺 and they’re like well sure but this is different you can only have one of this other kind of love and I was like lowkey that makes no sense I think y’all are makin this this stuff up these are made up rules this sounds miserable but ok if you like these made up rules like I thought they were just saying that because it made their partner happy like ah I see we’re playing make believe now idk man the commitment thing doesn’t make sense to me like “having” someone a little weird and felt incredibly suffocating and fake then I found that concept was partnership and other people did actually like all that but I didn’t and poly is partnering just multiple partnerships and I snapped my fingers in a little cartoonish way and went “Aw man!” And moved on like well I’ll figure out what works next time and I never did and I ended up way happier like that

anyway I feel like the difference between dating and partnering needs more like respect just on the basis of the amount of people who are partners in some way without dating (ie qpr platonic partner life partner sexual partner etc) and also the people who just don’t like that and are expected to do it even in aromantic spaces( ME) and ALSO to the polyam people who don’t get taken seriously because their partnerships don’t involve dating I thought about that and that sounds like it really sucks especially because of how everyone talks about it and treats it and gets randomly violent over the concept of other people being poly?? Like that’s fucking wild Godspeed y’all stay safe

idk what to say other than yeah that all checks out, social shits all a lie and people are dumb lol

[our-polyamorous-experience]

Hi! Anon who sent in the ask about centrist dad here :)

I brought up that my 3 partners and I were planning on all having kids together (planning on 4 kids so we can each have a bio one since we're all uterus having) and he was so excited to hear he was gonna have grandkids!!! (i used to say i didnt want kids. turns out i just don't wanna be pregnant LOL)

and *I'm* excited because I get to have 4 kids with my wonderful partners and that my dad is just happy and accepting 🥺

- Ceres

anon that is actually so cool and i love that for you!!

[our-polyamorous-experience]

hey I've been feeling pretty conflicted lately and honestly i dont know where to turn to since I have no knowledge when it comes to these things.

im Demi-AceAro, i never considered polyamorous until now. Lately I've been crushing hard on this couple... I never felt like this for someone- especially for two people at once. my question is, how do you approach these scenarios? how do you ask out two people without ruining the friendship or intruding on their relationship? i think they're fine with polygamy but I dont know if they're fine with me. Sure! Sometimes the boyfriend jokes about me being "the better bf" or says things like "get in the polycue", while their partner talks about how connected we are BUT AGAIN... im not certain they're so beautiful and nice! i dont want to mess things up with them! (sorry for the wall of text, it's okay if you dont answer. i appreciate that you took the time to read this anyway)

.

(sound off in the replies with advice idk im eepy)

(ill revisit this later bc i have Thoughts but theyre not coherent rn)

[our-polyamorous-experience]

ok so ik this is from. july. sorry abt that... 😅

however i have Thoughts To Convey and theyre relatively coherent now soooo.

i feel like (if you havent done anything by now for whatever reason) you should just. ask them if theyre being fr when they say stuff like "get in the polycule" and allat. if they are, boom problem solved and you have 2 partners now. if they arent, well atleast you know now and can move forward in an un-confused manner.

[clementine-kesh]

[redmegarex]

@our-polyamorous-experience

[our-polyamorous-experience]

hey I've been feeling pretty conflicted lately and honestly i dont know where to turn to since I have no knowledge when it comes to these things.

im Demi-AceAro, i never considered polyamorous until now. Lately I've been crushing hard on this couple... I never felt like this for someone- especially for two people at once. my question is, how do you approach these scenarios? how do you ask out two people without ruining the friendship or intruding on their relationship? i think they're fine with polygamy but I dont know if they're fine with me. Sure! Sometimes the boyfriend jokes about me being "the better bf" or says things like "get in the polycue", while their partner talks about how connected we are BUT AGAIN... im not certain they're so beautiful and nice! i dont want to mess things up with them! (sorry for the wall of text, it's okay if you dont answer. i appreciate that you took the time to read this anyway)

.

(sound off in the replies with advice idk im eepy)

(ill revisit this later bc i have Thoughts but theyre not coherent rn)

[our-polyamorous-experience]

I think I might be polyam?

I don't quite know I'm pretty onterested in discovering where it goes but I'm arospec and I'm scared of entering a QPR like my last monogamous one (it felt more like 10-90 instead of 50-50)

Any tips on discovery? Like do I have to umm. experience stuff w/ multiple people in order to know? Or is it a true feeling of like emptiness (Reddit is MESSY pls don't recc Reddit 😭 😭 😭 😭)

I have like no friends so I'm going into it blind and solo

.

(ill revisit this later in a reblog but im eepy asf rn and just wanna empty my inbox before i go to bed)

[our-polyamorous-experience]

im in a poly qpr and its great :D I love my partners

.

[our-polyamorous-experience]

Being in a polygamous qpr whilst living with my mom who (as far as I know) a) doesn’t know I’m aroace b) only knows I’m with one of my boyfriends and c) is opposed to polyamorous marriage specifically, not relationships as a whole, is genuinely so funny

Like of all the Poly Experiences I’ve had this is by far my favourite on going one

(I think I’ve understood this blog ok? Apologies if I haven’t!)

.

(yes youve understood this blog just fine)

[our-polyamorous-experience]

aaaaaahhhhhh happy polyam experience!!!!

i've been crushing *hard* on my girlfriend's fiance for a while and yesterday i took them on a date and asked them if they want to be my partner and they said yes!!!!!

and my gf is so happy for us they basically said "took y'all long enough" and holy fuck i love them both so much <3

.

[our-polyamorous-experience]

I'm just wondering, why do you use the outdated original polyam flag? There was a vote of over 30,000 polyam people and we chose this flag:

It's okay if you didn't know, I just think it's kinda odd that you use the outdated eyestrain pi flag

i just like this one better, the colours are more appealing to me and they scratch a nice itch in my brain. something about that one just doesnt sit right with me but anyone can use whatever flags they like i think, idk tho im just a guy trying to share poly experiences

[our-polyamorous-experience]

Are you welcome to polyamorous alters within systems? My experience being with multiple other alters in my system is different than a typical poly experience but still is :3 -ian

absolutely! anyone who experiences polyamorous attraction/has polyamorous relationships is welcome on this blog :3

[our-polyamorous-experience]

I actuallly first realized I was poly by thinking about how much I projected onto my favorite poly ship's characters then me going 'wait does that mean I'm poly' and then thinking about a thought I had like 3 years ago where I was like 'ooh I love *current crush*' and fantasized about inviting a third person into our relationship and then I was like 'yeah I'm polyam lol'

real

[our-polyamorous-experience]

Hello! I was just wondering if it’s okay to be a poly QPR?

absolutely dude you can be in whatever kind of relationships you want. anyone tryna tell you you cant put certain labels to a relationship is dumb and doesnt matter. you can be poly and in a QPR just the same as monogamous ppl can have QPRs

its all just random words we put together in a feeble attempt to define our existence, no need to adhere to arbitrary definitions if doing so doesnt make you feel happy and fulfilled

[our-polyamorous-experience]

my partner has lost three partners since the start of the year. three breakups in six months. they were all long time partners, and well ingratiated in the polycule, so we all felt it when they left. is it normal for other polycule members to feel the hurt of a break up, even when they weren't in a relationship with the person(s) who left?

i cant speak from personal experience bc ive never had an actual polycule but its probably normal for people to feel the hurt of that loss if they were part of the group for a long time. even if the relationship between them wasnt romantic, it was still deep and important. that kind of loss can rip someone up inside if its a nasty enough loss.

[our-polyamorous-experience]

ambiamourus & sex repulsed: constantly thinking of how to tell my future partner ( if i have one) that they're ok to find another person to have sex with while still dating me lol

i think just telling them and then answering any questions they might have about it would be a good way to go about it but idk ive never had that problem bc im very much not sex repulsed ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

as long as you emphasise the "still dating you" part and make sure they dont think youre pushing them away because you dont want sex youll probably be fine