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@our-queerplatonic-experience
Hiya! This blog is based off of @our-queer-experience, @our-aroace-experience, @our-nonbinary-experience, @our-sapphic-experience, and many many others.
Although experiencing queer-platonic attraction isn't an identity in itself (i think) I felt it was a good blog to make!
my pronouns are they/them
This blog will primarily be asks and reblogging things I am tagged in
Happy arospec awareness week everybody :]
people always get so caught-up on needing a definition for queerplatonic attraction or relationships, when it's pretty much the relationship equivalent of nonbinary. and "what is an exact definition of nonbinary?" is a difficult question to answer! it's quite literally just "any gender that is not strictly binary", and in that exact same way I cannot give you an all-encompassing definition of queerplatonic beyond "it's not strictly in the romantic/platonic binary" it could be inbetween, it could be neither, it could be both, it could be outside of that all.
People need to understand that the point ISN’T “being single is not a failure if you’re aromantic”, the point is being single is not a failure full stop.
You can be allo and be single; it’s allowed. You feeling attraction doesn’t mean your priority NEEDS to be finding romance (it can be! But it also can not).
Being single should be normalized no matter what your romantic/sexual orientation is. It isn’t a tragedy.
maybe this is just me being arospec but i wonder if there's a connection between one's level of distress at being single and how intimate they feel they can be/close they are to their friends
i’m not aromantic but i believe in their beliefs
for me being bi has contributed a huge amount to noticing all the ways in which romance and friendship run together and i think in general people would benefit from recognizing that romance and friendship are socially constructed categories used to describe a vast, nebulous, and often overlapping range of feelings
My way of parsing it:
Every Relationship is actually a specific, unique thing. We invented Shorthands, such as Friend or Husband, to help describe recurring motifs in Relationships. But. The labels are simplifications. They will always fail to adequately contain the entirety of the Relationship.
god tumblr's aroace community is obsessed with platonic ideals of love and intimacy to the point it can be super alienating for someone who does not vibe with that model either. if you are aroace and do not experience yearning, the need for a qpr relationship, or enjoy fanfiction or media based around intimacy and comfort… you're still valid. you're not broken or weird. i've been like this forever and it has not negatively impacted my quality of life. you will be okay, and you will be happy and thrive.
Hiya! Call me Soul (ey/em, he/she), Im a multigender non binary girlboy just vibing here, who's seen many people freak out over their gender identity.
Well, Im here to help! Need to take smth off your chest? My ask box is open. Need advice? Either Ill give you some, or Ill redirect you to other blogs/resources who can. Im not the most knowledgeable, but Im here to provide a safe space for everyone questioning, whatever identity, no matter how contradictory. Be respectful and kind, and that's all you need!
Perisex and cis but want to know more? Feel free to ask! Writing a character of a different gender and dont know how to approach? Go ahead! Ask box is open to all your needs.
Not queer related but still need to talk? You can head over to @angels-safe-corner, a more general safe space for anyone who just needs someone to listen, maybe an encouragement or two and kind words <3
Other blogs who are safe and open for queer people and where you can find resources/other experiences.
Solidarity/experiences focused blogs:
@transgenderteensurvivalguide
@this-is-solidarity
@transpositivity
@our-queer-experience
@our-queerplatonic-experience
@our-aroace-experience
@our-aplatonic-experience
@our-afamspec-experience
@our-sapphic-experience
@our-achillean-experience
@our-genderfluid-experience
@queer-plural-culture-is
@transneutral-culture-is
@our-multigender-experience
@our-honeybee-transfem-experience
Denouncing discrimination/awareness focused blogs:
@thisisexorsexism & archive @this-is-exorsexism
@thisis-intersexism & archive @this-is-intersexism
@this-is-transgynephobia & @transgynephobia-is
@this-is-transandrophobia
@transangi-confessions
@this-is-varsexism-transphobia
@this-is-amato-heteronormativity
@this-is-internoirism
@bilesproblems
The 2025 Gender Census is now open!
[ Link to survey ]
The 12th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 30th August 2025.
It’s short and easy, for most participants it takes 5 minutes or less.
After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.
If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful!
Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com
The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.
Thank you so much!
[ Link to survey ]
I'M IN A QPR I LOVE MY QUEERPLATONIC PARTNER SO SO MUCH I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY WORKED UP THE CONFIDENCE TO ASK HIM TO BE IN A QPR WITH ME
WOOO!!!!! CONGRATS
My dad. Thinks queerplatonic means platonic between queer people. This is because he didn't listen when I explained to him what it was a dozen times. He keeps saying "oh so I can't just say my gay friend anymore I have to say queerplatonic??" and telling me to stop "microcompartmentalizing" everything (is that a word??)
😭
ughhh that is so frustrating
sometimes I see people explain qprs as the 'nonbinary of relationships', and I think the comparison of relationships to gender works in more ways than people realise.
like... an established binary (man/woman) (platonic/romantic) in which certain behavoirs are seen to correspond to options within that binary (wearing a skirt as feminine) (kissing as inherently romantic), and though the distinction between these options seems very important to people, no-one is actually able to pinpoint exactly what seperates them (watch anyone try to define 'what is a woman') (watch anyone try to define what romantic attraction is).
I'm sure there are more ways to compare the two, but hopefully this is... legible. it's kind of feeling like a 'I've connected the dots' 'you didn't connect shit' scenario, ngl.
ooh i think youre onto something
prev fantastic tags
sometimes I see people explain qprs as the 'nonbinary of relationships', and I think the comparison of relationships to gender works in more ways than people realise.
like... an established binary (man/woman) (platonic/romantic) in which certain behavoirs are seen to correspond to options within that binary (wearing a skirt as feminine) (kissing as inherently romantic), and though the distinction between these options seems very important to people, no-one is actually able to pinpoint exactly what seperates them (watch anyone try to define 'what is a woman') (watch anyone try to define what romantic attraction is).
I'm sure there are more ways to compare the two, but hopefully this is... legible. it's kind of feeling like a 'I've connected the dots' 'you didn't connect shit' scenario, ngl.
ooh i think youre onto something
Hey, I don't know if this is a good place to ask a question, but all other blogs I've checked are not active anymore :( My question is, can you be in a romantic relationship with one person and in a queeplatonic relationship with a different person? And would that be considered polyamory? Thank you for the answer :)
i'm not sure about the polyamory bit, i guess in this situation it would be up to you whether or not to call it that. and as for the first question, it's absolutely possible, you just have to communicate with both people and make sure everyone is okay with it. it's basically the same logic as polyamory
happy pride everyone!!!!!!
i'm going to see my best friend in person tomorrow for the first time in months and it makes me nervous--last time we were together i asked her to be my queerplatonic partner. and after a thoughtful conversation she accepted. and then we parted ways, too far to do more than text and call. we've settled on 'best friends' as terms for ourselves, as 'partners' was stressful for her. and i love this so much. i love talking to her. i love the depth of her knowledge and her interests and her thoughtfulness. i want to have a future together and maybe it won't work out--but this is something i want to hold onto, to try!
and it makes me nervous to see her again--what if this relationship is something i've built up in my head, and she decides she doesn't want to continue? have i pressured her too much? do i want too much? and what if what i want isn't actually enough, isn't the romantic or sexual relationship that she actually wants to have with someone?
i don't think these fears are entirely reasonable. we've talked consistently, and more than ever in the past week. we talk about things in the future as if it could be with each other. but it's just going to be so long before we can be everyday companions, share a home, keep pets together. i appreciate seeing queerplatonic experiences because it gives me hope that this really is possible.
that's awesome! i totally understand your fears, things like this can be quite nerve wracking. best of luck!!!!
Is it possible that queerplatonic attraction can be sometimes intertwined with romantic attraction or other tertiary ones? Both me and my qrp partner are in the aro-spec and due to being able to feel romantic attraction in some cases (and when we do its not the same as alloromantic people do) we're confused as to what our relationship is. Like, its totally qrp but sometimes it also feels romantic and sensual too
Absolutely!!!!! Attraction is so layered and varied most things are possible.
the way i like to think about it is that each separated label for types of attraction (this goes for other things as well like gender and sexuality) are made up, they're social constructs. If you experience a certain weird layered kind of attraction it's real and exists- the only evidence you need is that it's happening to you.
