climb HIS walls. break into HIS room. watch HIM sleep. #girlboss

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@ourbelovedjonathanharker
climb HIS walls. break into HIS room. watch HIM sleep. #girlboss
you either die a prisoner, or live long enough to see yourself scale the walls like a lizard
“average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Renfield, who lives in asylum & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
Hey, heads up, the next Dracula Daily entry (tomorrow, the 17th) contains more racist stereotypes of Romani people, and also of Slovak people. If anyone wants to skip that but still know what happens in the book, here’s a quick summary:
Jonathan sees some people drive up to the castle with wagons behind them. Jonathan runs down to the main hall, thinking that it will be opened because of the wagon drivers, but finds that the door is locked from the outside. Jonathan tries to call to the drivers for help but they don’t listen. Some large, heavy, empty crates are unloaded from the wagons, and then they drive off.
at least dracula feeds his guests. swedish dracula on the other hand,
Jonathan, in the May 31 entry:
dear diary,
today my supernatural host stole all my stationery and also some of my clothes so im writing this on both of my King Fu Panda 2 dvds
So I'm going to a nerd convention this weekend and I made myself a t-shirt just for the occasion
Well, since Dracula Daily won't be updating for a couple of weeks, time to get my long dress on and go sigh on my balcony like a Victorian lady awaiting letters from her love.
Losing it over this twitter account
[Image ID: Three tweets from Real Jonathan Harker. The first says “Dracula took my phone. (tweet sent from Nintendo 3DS)” The second says “Dracula took my 3DS (tweet sent from Nintendo Wii U)” The third says “Dracula took the Wii U (tweet sent from LG Smart Refridgerator)” /end ID]
quincy morris, the absolute king, gets solidly rejected by a woman, finds out she also rejected one of his friends, then finds out she got engaged to his other friend after rejecting him, and immediately writes to the friend she is now engaged to in order to set up what i can only imagine will be the greatest bisexual foursome east of the mississippi
in jonathan harker’s defense, i think a lot of us are at a point where if our job paid our travel expenses and ensured us free food and lodgings for a few weeks in addition to our wages, we’d overlook the first few dozen red flags too. like if it also provided health insurance on top of all that, i’d probably be willing to overlook the late-night wall climbing sesh.
There’s less Dracula entries in June bc Dracula is out celebrating pride month
me whenever i experience any minor inconvenience whatsoever
actually no wait, I'm sad now.
Jonathan Harker doubting everything he sees, keeping extensive records, attempting to retrace his steps to a life-threatening situation - he's scared for his life, yes, but he's truly terrified for his mind. he would rather become prey if that means he can understand what is happening to him and why. if he can prove to himself that this horror is real.
it isn't like the wolves and the carriage anymore. it isn't just flesh-and-blood concrete threats. Jonathan is stepping fully into a space of irrational, non-human, non-mortal fear and he isn't equipped to deal with it. all his tools (law qualifications, shorthand, and a good knowledge of London properties) are useless here.
fear of the thing with teeth isn't what's driving him, it's the fear that his death won't make any sense at all.
…and here we are.
Bram Stoker knew less about the Romani people than he did Texans. This is, without a doubt, my favorite novel, but Stoker’s depiction of the Romani is nothing short of ham-handed, ignorant and vulgar.
I can’t recommend We Are the Romani People by Ian Hancock enough when it comes to understanding an often maligned people, their history and culture.
Things that are perfectly fine and normal:
Holding your houseguest prisoner
Forcing him to forge letters to his loved ones
Terrorizing the countryside
Crawling up and down walls like a lizard
Eating babies
Terrible, vile, a gross insult:
Mirrors
Writing in shorthand
Right-o, Count Dracula, sir, thanks for clarifying that for us. /sighhh