Why Am I Like This

I apologize for who I am as a person

[9ieme]

the twelve most terrifying words in the english language are: i'm from the government and i'm here to torture you to death

[murraysiskind-deactivated202511]

Me: Tom Cruise I picked up more plain steamed fish for you to eat for every meal because of your pathologies

Tom Cruise: thank you so much. By the way I feel that we have been through enough together - you doing a Misery on me and breaking both my legs, etc - that you can just call me Tom

Me: Thank you for saying that Tom Cruise

[kingcatnine]

kitten fever is worse than baby fever because a kitten is way easier to obtain than a baby so it's more dangerous

[rickybabyboy]

you cant obtain me. tiger stance

[nitewrighter]

Ozempic scares the shit out of me. You're telling me there's a drug that takes away both the craving side of hunger and targets the brain's rewards center for eating. You're telling me it takes the joy out of eating and it turns you into a skeleton. Why did we turn The Curse of the Black Pearl into a drug. What the fuck.

[nitewrighter]

I actually want to thank the diabetics coming on this post like "actually it genuinely is a great treatment for diabetes and it hasn't affected my mood or my enjoyment of food. The real issue is it's getting abused as a weight loss drug which also makes it scarce and more expensive for those who can genuinely benefit from it." Kind of reminds me of the time my brother got permission from our family psychiatrist to try my ADHD medication and his reaction to it was "what the fuck are you on. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON. WHY DO I FEEL LIKE CRYING. YOU'RE ON THIS EVERY DAY!?!"

Body chemistry! It makes a big difference in how your body processes a drug! What can be genuinely helpful for some folks is The Curse of the Black Pearl for others!

[the-terrible-tunnel]

Strange and scary naturals

[porunareff]

I love john rod’s big ol feet its so silly

stands truly embody their user's soul

[ryebreadgf]

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

[agam-arts]

“True kindness isn’t something we’re born with, it’s something we have to work at.”

Fruits Basket has such a special place in my heart <3

[logarto]

[velvetys]

Getting kicked off love island for trying to poison the men

[angeltiddies]

[g-l-o-w-y-l-i-g-h-t-s]

There'll be mulch when you are done

[disparatemind]

Lay your wormy head to rest

[angeltiddies]

Don't you crawl no more

[certainly-april]

Ragebaiting my fat dog? More like master baiting my fat hog!!!!!!!!

[grimoiremanifest]

❗️Great Hog is displeased by this.

The kingly pig looks taken aback by this statement. "You claim to be 'baiting' our kind?.. A master of it, no less - after all the trust we hsve placed in you?"

- Your relationship with the Hog Society 🐖 is now Unfavourable.

[certainly-april]

[butchdotgov]

So sorry to keep twitter posting but this had me dead

[chumbie]

[wizardarchetypes]

your email found me at the grocery store irl. that's crazy that you gave it little legs and everything. it walked right up to me. everyone was so scared one person screamed when i picked it up. i said it's okay you just do this kind of thing sometimes. while i was reading, its little legs were just sort of dangling in the air. someone asked me if it's alive and if holding it like that made it uncomfortable. i told them idk i just get the emails i don't send them.

[wizardarchetypes]

[dogpuppy]

[kuttithevangu]

Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs

[jame7t]

God I’m so hungry I could eat a h- *looks around nervously to make sure my friend Devin, the Talking Horse isn’t nearby* phew. Well I’m so hungry I could kill and eat my friend Devin